Blog and Mablog: Giants Bestride Political Blogosphere

Derek Draper (left) and Iain Dale (right, with 18 Gollywog/Golliwog references) are at it hammer and tongs. Handbags at dawn. Subject being that at times rather daft woman Carol Thatcher. And that at times rather daft organisation the BBC. And the ongoing row about her offensive, semi-private, ? squiffy repeated use of "Gollywog" and "Half Gollywog" and "Gollywog Froggy" to refer to a French tennis player, M. Tsonga, a man of mixed race.

That man and his family are upset. That alone should be enough to elicit a full and unreserved apology from all concerned. The BBC eventually managed to winkle something out of Carol, but considered it inadequate. But should Carol have been sacked ... or more specifically sacked for this particular sin rather than her all round performance? Or was this an over-reaction? Or a handy premise for a desired change in the presenter line up for the mediocre One Show?

Iain made a fundamental factual error in claiming - including on telly - that the remark referred to Andy Murray. Which must surely have struck even Mr Dale as a hell of a stretch even for Carol T? Though Littlejohn was it or Mackenzie and others made a similar, speculative reference, based on their view that Murray's hair and appearances was the closest correspondence to the 'type on the tour. Dale did correct the mistake, albeit with excuses and scapegoats rather than humility. Progress nonetheless for Mr "Never Apologise" Dale.

Now neither Dale or Draper can let go of this spat. There is still a fundamental disagreement between the two warring, tweeting giants - let's called them Blog and Mablog shall we? - giants of the political blogosphere, the art of civilised discourse and the zen of diversity training. But enough already.

As veteran of Robertson's jam factory at Brislington in Bristol my various high value roles included being a dirty fire starter furnace man. Burning thousands and thousands of jam labels with somethingly offensive Gollies on them - though to be fair millions escaped into the wild.

Yet, I do also own some first and early reprint editions of the dreaded Blighton. Before the censorious and likely correct PR brigade posthumously changed or removed some of the characters and many of the rich if sometimes troubling ideas. Including naturally the jolly nice Golliwog chappy in the Amelia Jane series. Amelia Jane being in pictures (though not the text) a stereotypically blond, blue eyed dolly. Naughty too. Rather like poor befuddled Thatch Jnr. Which is something I'd like to get back to later; and which the LOL Graphics department will also be turning to.

Seems to me that Darryl Pinckney (can't find online just now now available online) in today's Guardian is spot on. The article's standfirst runs as follows:

The meaning of words and objects shifts - what is interesting is whom we allow to say what, and where.

While the headline cuts to the chase:

For me, golliwogs have lost their juju

Darryl Pinckney incidentally an American, writing from Obamaland, acknowledging that difference at the get go, collects (formerly) offensive racist artifacts, including Gollies. And unlike either Draper or Dale he has an argument rather than just an argument. And unlike the giants bestriding our world Darryl's argument is a rather good one. I'll post the link if and when ... In the Guardian's Organ Grinder blog John Plunkett takes the temperature of the media storm. He predicts that unlike say Big Ron Atkinson Miss Thatch will be bounced back unto the goggle box pretty smartly.

MEANWHILE: Dale's self importantly pontificating (not like him that) ten to the dozen about Dolly, Golly and their combined Folly.

UPDATE 23:52: Some "stealth editing" re Littlejohn/Mackenzie and thereabouts and to slightly improve the flow from v clunky to just isolated clunks. I have also removed my reference to the song "Jimmy Crack Corn (And I Don't Care)" as it perhaps doesn't do the job it was there for.

Cornerstone: That Any Sensible Builder Would Reject

There is a rare opportunity to interact with the so-called blogger Nadine Dorries MP at Cornerstone. Not that they're publishing any comments mind. But they are allowing them. Which is something. The post seem to be illustrated by an example of a police cash seizure from a working girl that is arrant twaddle. She should shine more light on the matter. Or apologise for fibbing and change the post.

Interesting Times: Film of the Book, or Book of the Film?

Interesting encouragement yesterday for a book project I've been developing. For my own Snail's Pace Projects. Joke. This mentor was extraordinarily enthused with my high energy pitch. So bloody enthused that remarkably they suggested I give up on the proposed book completely.

Horror! Or not? It was not. They suggested it should be a case of "straight to cinema". With any book serving as an after the fact tie-in. Fleshing out the super soaraway and immediate multimedia. Finished while the blockbuster - apparently leaping to the top of the audience chart from two pages of A4 - is in production.

Seems like sound advice to me. Certainly a different way of looking at things. I'll crack on with it ... manana, or the day after at any rate.

Tamside Mafia: Live Blogging With Malice Aforethought

The Tameside Mafia site live blogged Thursday/Friday's Hyde Newton count. Misfits, mavericks and curmudgeons they are. But essentially attacking Tameside Local government, and by definition the electorate that choose their leaders, from the ill-disciplined independent - no-one will have them - right. Not sure if there is a T Mafia connection to RC Gauci, the BNP Mafia candidate? TM are obsessed just now about Lord (Tom) Pendry once enjoying a day at the Wimbledon Championships, courtesy of BAT. BATs and Balls were discussed no doubt. And strawberries may have been consumed recklessly. Tameside Eye are still on "invitation only" mode. What have they got to be ashamed of this time?

UPDATE 16:39: Tameside Mafia point out in comment that while they may be right wing wingnuts they have nothing to do with the BNP. That is clear enough from the post ahead of their dull and distortive live blog. Also that it was Imperial Tobacco not BAT who one hosted Lord Pendry. ITs and Balls? Doesn't work does it?

Hyde Newton Ward: BNP Crushed, UKIP Utterly Krap

Strangely enough, from a standing start, the forces of UKIP in Tameside were not the force to be reckoned with which they reckoned they were. The longest journey starts with a single step. Far from gifting Labour victory UKIP proved an irrelevance. On a fair turnout Labour came close to doubling the majority over the nazi fash. Well done to all concerned. With odious convicted race hate criminal and hideously damaged goods Nick Griffin planning to emulate Le Pen and Mussolini ... Clicking his metaphorical jackboots, fiendishly twitching his imaginary lickle moustache, saluting bestially as in the Rome of ancient lays, and goose-schlepping contemptuously along the corridors of power ... we do need to show the nazi bastard and his bastard nazi hordes who's boss.

Lib Dem Voice: Seem To Be Protesting Too Much

All stripes of MPs, MEPS, MSPs, AMs and what have you employ members of their family and/or co-pilots as assistants of one sort or another. It is hard to see what is special never mind unique about a relatively modest contract for a website and admin services awarded by Charlie Gordon MSP to his son. Perhaps there is something outrageous and exceptional about it. But nothing in Lib Dem Voice's shrill rant seems to support that point of view.

More standing in a glass house lobbing stones I shouldn't wonder.

Alistair Campbell: Joins Labour's Web 2.0 Insurgency

Alistair Campbell has joined the C21st with his shiny new website including a Blog and a Vlog to boot. John Prescott and Derek Draper and Ed Miliband are already splashing about. "Come on in Alistair, the water's lovely" they said. And he did. And it was.

Guido Fawkes: Likes Hugh Grant Fantasy, BNP and UNITA Too

Guido Fawkes aka Mr GuF is very mixed up and/or a dirty liar and/or a hypocrite. And he's getting some stick for it from his own posse of window licking sock muppets who may well reflect the heart and soul of the Tory party better than back bencher David Davies.

Criticism resulting in some stealth editing of GuF's fanciful granting a tortured man both asylum and citizenship. Though his fib about Miliband, rather than the FCO lawyers who do seem to have weaseled a kind of truth, remains.

The sock muppets include the ideas that GuF is now doing Tory Spin Meister and disgraced tabloid editor Andy Coulson's bidding, that the tortured man has it coming, and that US Americans are expletives deleted.

The idea of standing up to the USA is however not a bad one, and brave given that GuF's right wing adherents seem to want the torture to continue. And even though Guido is himself a long time friend and ally of horrid nassy USA puppet regimes. Apparently with blood dripping from their hands. Apparently with money raised by the likes of GuF and his Tee shirts and raves. Will he renounce or explain this part of his dodgy past? As he did his youthful BNP links?

For all GuF knows some standing up to the USA is going on behind closed doors. Let's hope it is. That might just be a more effective place for it than on some Hollywood lot where a fantasy Prime Minister is trying to get his fantasy leg over. With an everywoman played by Martine McCutcheon of all people.

FOOTNOTE: Speaking of GuF's past as a fifth columnist with the BNP reminds me of the Hyde Newton by-election TODAY. The BNP were beaten by only 268 votes as I recall in the last Council elections in the seat. Interestingly "Basildon Boy" allegedly writing from N'Djamena, Chad, and styling themselves an "uber member" of something called the British Democracy Forum draws attention to the BNP and UKIP candidates. Both of whom are women. In the first comment Shaun suggests the UKipper could keep the BNP out.

The Labour For Newton blog seems a good campaigning resource. Though no details of committee rooms for today. Perhaps Rosalind Gauci (BNP) - spookily from the same village in Sicily as those overseas construction workers the BNP are orchestrating against at Immingham (that supposed geographical link's a spot of poetic licence from yours truly, but the BNP HAVE BEEN running the BJFBW/Wildcat dispute as Unity revealed) - has some thugs in tow?

Here's James Purnell's site. They'll put you in touch with the campaign.

The Tories, lying in third, are running a strong campaign while the Lib Dems are probably just lying low with not a mention of today's contest on their local website. Greens. UKIP. Here's how the BNP see things for "Brave Ros" (above).

Iain Dale: Sue Your MP As Un-Attentive?

Some MP has been sued for being un-attentive to the complainant's needy needs. The MP has been fined £15,000 over this in some county court. I can't imagine this will stick. It's ridiculous. Iain Dale is ultimately right on this one though he enjoys the twisted idea that the (Labour) MP should be sued a bit too much.

Rochdale Raw: Contriving Rowen's Jollies to Number of Beast

Those naughty so and so's at Rochdale Raw have come up with an artificially low total cost (£1200) for their MP Paul Rowen's visit to Strasbourg as some kind of representative of the Lib Dem Parliamentary Party and Parliament.

This is so that dividing the paltry sum - which Rowen might have spent on one extended lunchtime or indeed a small portion of one tax payer funded conflict of interest - by the number of words about Gaza in his speech in a debate where mentioning Gaza or indeed Uganda or any specific issue was 100% bad form - made £6.66. The price of the beast.

Did this attempted hijacking of an otherwise disciplined debate lead to Rowen being banned from the Gaza debate? Or had Rowen decided he'd run from the Gaza debate he was supposed to be a main feature within? Or had he been sacked as the Lib Dem rep - which he promised to be - due to being such a piss poor advocate? So he wanted to go somewhere else? But he thought he'd piss on a lamp post or two first? Or perhaps he was still there? At the Gaza debate? But didn't even try to contribute?

Jollies instead of politics! Putting Paul Rowen First!

Don't get LOL wrong. If Rowen has finally cottoned on to Palestine, or Iraq, or Afghanistan now that is not a bad thing. He has no leverage for Rochdale or Gaza in parliament of course. He's a curmudgeonly Lib Dem. And in that sense an undisputed WASTE OF SPACE. But is no bad thing if he's committing to something all of a sudden.

Hurrah! in other words. But it is right and proper that we ask Rowen and Leech and Hunter, and their shifty like, to show us the evidence of their activity in 2001 and 2002 and 2003 and 2004 and 2005 - before they were elected as MPs having traded on such matters - and then they might explain 2005 and so on.

Truth be told, we just don't know.

These careerist chancers may have actually cared about these wars. And these issues. Or they may have just cynically exploited the issues in their trash-flow of dodgy leaflets ... BUT EITHER WAY .. AT THE TIME THEY DID NAFF ALL.

Paul Rowen MP: Putting Paul Rowen First Every Time

You may remember how useless Lib Dem MP for Rochdale Paul Rowen (above) made his excuses and pulled out of a speech at what became another episode in the Hennigan Drunk and Disorderly, Offending Muslim Community Organisations soap opera. This was so Rowen could attend a critical champagne and canapes reception in Strasbourg, followed by a week there living off the fat of the land with his dodgy mates, followed by a rousing contribution from the podium on Gaza. Though to be fair the self-serving Rowen cannot have predicted the mayhem that the cat would play while the mouse was away. Alas, none of this Strasbourg derring-do is worth a report on his website. Probably the story was just a load of steaming trumped up nonsense to cover for some convivial International Libdemologist jollies then?

UPDATE Tue 08:51: No sooner said than done. At some point before midnight last night full details of Paul Rowen's apparent contribution were posted at his spiffing new website. Fifty six words in all. Crafted over the five days he was in Strasbourg at a rate of just over 11 words per day. "Me too!" would have done. That would have taken just over four hours to come up with. We were promised a barnstorming speech. But well done Paul. Rochdale is proud of you. Really.

UPDATE Tue 09:24: Rowen's speech was actually rather longer than 56 words. It was in a debate on the International Criminal Court on Tuesday and not in the debate on Gaza on Thursday at which a major contribution was promised and in which Rowen neither spoke nor provided an unspoken prepared speech to appear in an addendum.

Our hero looks to have broken seven shades of protocol with three or four mentions for Gaza, and also mention for Uganda, where he has business/orphanage interests, in a context where most other delegates spoke of the ICC in principles only. His only speech was a hijack.

NOT Separated at Birth: Are These Harringtons Perchance Related?

Yesterday LOL wondered out loud about the parentage of Master Harrington who gave Cameron/Coulson a platform to prattle in an otherwise rather charming feature involving random kids interviewing random celebrities.

No firm progress just yet. A comment stating I'm correct to wonder if Master Harrington isn't a Tory stooge. But alas no link. Above is my first adventure in random Harrington matching. NOT separated at birth, as it were. Could Master Harrington (left) be related to Mister Harrington (right) whom the Tories have picked to replace one Mr Oakley - a particularly noxious example of Tories at play as PPC in Watford? Richard Harrington had a webpage ready to go and posted I hear within an hour or so of the result.

My informant on that was Thunderdragon who summarises the Ian Oakley affair. "Richard Harrington" and Conservatives Googles up quite a few pages.

May not all be the same man of course.

On the plus side for this random link up of Tory Harringtons we have the spectacles and the conservative dress sense. Though opticians among you will realise that putative "son" is long sighted, whereas putative "dad" is short sighted. One further piece of corroboration/fly in the ointment would be that Oxford-educated and approximate Cam-temporary Harrington Snr does have two sons. The downside being that they are "teenagers" whereas to qualify for the "kids interview celebrities" thing the youngster had to be 12 or under.

Still, kids do have birthdays during magazine production cycles. Any refutations of this idle match making welcome. And also further candidates as mater and/or pater.

FURTHER POSSIBLE DUPLICITY: Looks like Richard's picture may have been flipped left to right. Though if so its tag said "rotate" instead of "Flip!".

UPDATE Tue 08:15: Thunderdragon refutes the filial connection, but alas shines no further light on how the little swot fits in to the Tory firmament.

And On That Bombshell: Clarkson Says NHS is Bloody Brilliant

Classic Jeremy Clarkson rant in The Sunday Times. He says that the NHS is bloody brilliant. And then, inevitably, he goes off on one about NHS attempts to save fossil fuel and emissions and yeh! tax payers' money.

In a recently oft-repeated-on-Dave edition of Top Gear a more reasonable James May shot the breeze with petrol head Jay Leno about a rather excellent Hydrogen- fuelled Car, the Honda FCX Clarity - range about 250 miles, 2-3 minute fill up, emits only water, almost no moving parts* - and they agreed that cars like that, and by extension of the same logic NHS greening, would mean more petrol left for the Buggati Veron driving classes:

So, the second half of the piece is pants. But the first half - "NHS is bloody brilliant" - is very reassuring. The NHS IS bloody brilliant. Labour are very proud of this public service. Tories would damage its health. They did before. Why wouldn't they again? For a nano second I am convinced by Jezzer's jeering it might just be fuelled by melted down Tories.

And on that bombshell ...

* Mother Jones say making the Hydrogen fuel ain't yet all that green. Thankfully The Progressive Engineer is more even-handed. It is already a whole lot better than the naysayers claim. And making it off peak improves that.

Cameron Messes Up 1: Out of the Mouths of Babes

Just as our old friend Benchill Tory suggests that locally Manchester Lib Dems win some seats purely as they're not Labour and no-one quite believes the other not-Labour options Tories or Greens can "win round here", so, nationally, Dave Cameron's Conservatives perform the same trick.

Hence they have periods of doing well in the polls. Though when they are doing so there are still around half the electorate in the don't know/won't say/undecided/probably won't vote categories. And this clearly reduces towards election time, and mostly in Labour's favour.

When they've been in these "popular" periods of the last couple of years Andy Coulson sends Dave out on charm offences. And in the process his inanity and cluelessness and hubris and SO SO same old same old Toriness are exposed.

If you remember his memory man performance of Autumn 2007 you may remember that the greatest cheers from the Tory faithful were reserved for the most reactionary bits, that there wasn't much if any real content, and that the supposedly "no notes" speech had in fact been drafted tirelessly and learned parrot fashion.

In briefing the "big idea" of the speech that it was "without notes" they might as well have pointed screaming at the thing and outed its complete vacuity. And they were clumsy. Letting the lens press see a few pages of scribble abandoned on the podium. That clumsiness was deliberate. But forgetting that they'd actually done that scribbling on the back of typed pages of the verbatim speech? Recycling paper I suppose. But I'm not sure that part of the clumsiness was deliberate. The speech also included much bog standard offal Tory tripe.

But these facts didn't stick. The media wanted then, as they do now, to run with the "unstoppable Cameron insurgency" story. There is of course time for another flip or flip-flop or flip-flop-flip in fortunes these next 15 months. And then there will be the actual campaign, the actual election, and the actual result. When the DK-WS-UDs and assorted swingers actually make their minds up. Haven't you always wondered how a second class Cameron managed to get his Oxford First? [joke]Whoever finds the person or persons unknown who wrote his dissertation for him is on to a winner.[/joke] And for his exams he can only have chosen wisely on his papers, "spotted" questions ruthlessly, and learned answers by rote. Surely? Because he doesn't seem very bright. Even when let loose on a 12-year-old interviewer.

In yesterday's Guardian magazine various celebrities, including just the one nice-but-dim politician, subjected themselves to interviews by children between 5 and 12. Cameron's was the least charming effort by a distance. As was his grim Conservative Future interrogator who seems to be in on Coulson's trick.

John Terry and Oscar Witt (5) - charming, great empathy and with at least one scoop. Simon Cowell and Francesca Gallio (11) - brilliant stuff, lovely questions, generous answers. David Attenborough and Katie McKenzie (5) - Katie's no Kelvin and freezes stone cold, but some good bits. Girls Aloud plus Lydia Roxburgh (11) - fandabbydozey, though shame she didn't know Simon's kiss and tell answer. Jamie Oliver and Judith Easton (12) - again the format brings some revelations and Judith is very careful not to speak down to James.

Richard Hammond and Kirsty Stark (7) - self-deprecating, some nice lines, and again Kirsty manages not to patronise. Quentin Blake and Holly Matthews (10) - yet another excellent conversation. Theo Walcott and Jack Stott (6) - compare notes on girlfriends and football and hit the Playstation.

Which brings us to the would be leader of this country. He just doesn't seem to get what this is about at all. Not a propaganda opportunity.

David Cameron is interviewed, mostly on crime and punishment, by James Harrington (12). If I'd have to guess I'd say this likely lad is connected in one close way or another to the Tories. Cameron probably gets more out of him than vice versa. Though DC has by far and away the biggest ratio of words out compared to words in. His last answer alone is between a quarter and a third of the whole piece.

Still, young Harrington has got his leadership/Home secretary bid in early, even compared with the precocious Hague. Already has more of an idea about what's what than Nadine Dorries MP who is working her butt off on the Police and Crime Bill committee in the hope that she'll get speedily promoted. As a young gun. Just as Ken Clarke's recall turns the tap off on that Cam fetish. Imagine! Nads as Home Secretary? OMG! She has also decided, helped by emails from her freaky pro-strife friends, that the ex-Nurse in the BBC's Hunter drama is herself and that this is further proof of the BBC's infiltration by non-Tories.

And Cameron does reveal a couple of things. "I thought she (Margaret Thatcher) was basically right about the big issues" ... which is not what he was saying by this Friday in Davos ... and that he is still mightily terrified of the old bat and all she stands for.

AUDIO SLIDE SHOW: Bunch of Children Interview celebrities - an audio slide show.

THAT"S THE WAY TO DO IT: Gordon Brown and Rio Ferdinand shoot the breeze.

NOT IN THE INKY: Jacqueline Wilson; Frank Lampard; and Questions that Got Away including one from Jon Ronson's lad Joel (9). Smart arse naturally.

Lord Truscott: Joins Lord Taylor of Blackburn on Candid Camera

Lord Truscott has been on candid camera. But if he's found guilty of lobbying and amending for cash will he take anyone down with him? And will the likes of Ashcroft, Laidlaw, Paul (no relation) and Foster sort out any tax exile issues? Or just leave the scene gracefully.

Benchill Tory: Analysis of Trouble with Lib Dems

I've been doing some work in the immediate vicinity of Benchill Conservative Club just recently. And spookily we have a visitation. Managing to tread carefully between the humourless head-dump, dogshit-like trollery of the spawn of the devilish EHC at the Didsbury West By-Election "Three Horse Race" tongue-in-cheekery, our friend Benchill Tory tells it like it is:

The trouble with the Manchester Lib dems is that their only appeal at elections is that they are not the Labour Party. They have been the only opposition in Manchester for upwards of 20 years, but what have they done and what do they stand for?
I quite like the good old fashioned Liberals, never more do we need a traditional liberal voice. However the Lib Dems are a complete nonsense; you get a different brand of Lib Dems depending on which part of the country you happen to live in.
In Manchester they do seem to have a lot of money to conduct their campaigns!
I think a typical Lib Dem member dislikes the idea of trades unions so they don't like the Labour Party, and they are too guilt ridden about how their own circumstances improved due to Thatcher that they won't vote Tory.
Lib Dems are however shit hot when it comes to dog poo.

Not sadly so shit hot when it comes to covering their tracks for "accountancy bizarro". This here is very unfair from Derby Tories, but not unamusing for all that typical Tory unfairness.