Like Pulling Teeth? Gummy Lib Dem Leader Reminisces: In Bed with Sexy Cameron: The eBay poll

Ebay is a marvellous marketplace. In these days of marketisation a few clicks of the mouse can help determine how rare or common as muck a commodity may be.

"Billy no mates" or "life and soul of the party" perhaps?

We try finding 'Ming Campbell' on there, but alas not a soul. But, hurrah, 'Menzies Campbell' brought one link ... to an ever so interesting sounding 1981 treatise by this old gentleman titled "Dentistry Then and Now". For some reason this delightful tome was 'privately published'.

Onwards and upwards ... a staggering (not) eight items worldwide for the Tory chancer 'David Cameron' including, when I first tried this sophisticated poll of polls, a delightful $13.00 pictorial pillow case with something a bit iffy about 'between the sheets' printed thereon. Alas now sold out. But they'll be back. No sign of a policy to get wet about between them. But good at boasting of "between the sheets" appeal.

The only trendy 'Dave Camerons' are a pair of ice hockey souvenirs.

Not to be outdone 'Gordon Brown' powers in with 40 listings including a handful related to an eponymous American football player.

Topping the pile for now we have Mr Tony with fully 180 items listed worldwide, all of them for our guy and not some sporting simulcrum.

But who's the man? The Rt Hon Margaret Thatcher that's who with an awesome 260 items. Count 'em!

Clearly eBay polls can go up and down and all bargains are on a "while stocks last" and "first come first served" basis.