Guido Fawkes: Another Friday Caption Competition

It's Friday so it had to happen. Guido Fawkes is once again wetting his pants about Tony Blair's aide Ruth Turner here, here, here and here.

Four in four hours. It must be love, love, love. Er, love.

With his hotline to the unprofessional Yates of Knackered Yard it is a wonder that it took our hero SEVEN HOURS to find out that his lovebird was caged. Meanwhile some fun was had on Guido's Friday Caption Competition by an audience waiting for Ruth's judicial lynching to be videoed and streamed on Guido's site.

Would there be audible jeering from Lord Ashcroft along the lines: "£14M? ... you lightweight"? Would Vince Cable wonder aloud, for the tape, whether Ms Turner would have faced EIGHT YEARS if she hadn't been lynched by an unruly mob of Tories and Freemasons. As his man got TWO for £2.4M?

And would Ruth finally enjoy a whiff of Guido's burning gonads at half time in the manner in which Mr Fawkes had met his own end?

Meanwhile in Manchester Ruth's young brother Brendan was overwhelmed today by a rush of enticing offers from ladies young and old. A fair few of them cockerney sparrows trying to come over all Manky. The people of Withington will surely be waving the people's flag of deepest red for one of Brendan's Babes when the general election result we want finally arrives.

And not waving 27 assorted John Leech Focus Specials, many printed in six colours for but tuppence hapenny a thousand. These won't include a reprise of his famous hospital hoax skit. Fortunately the hospital was saved, barely a week after Leech's election. Fast foot work from a lightweight backbencher from the third party! LoL welcome nominations for new "closure calamities" and "downsizing disasters" and "cluster bomb hypocrisies" etc etc. No "hospital hoaxes" please. Marks for originality and bravado. "All night charges for parking in city centre" would be a good one. That's for real? Oh. More anon.