Leo Sayer: Have a Word with Yourself

Dear Leo hasn't been having the best time in the Big Brother house and during a series of tantrums today he grossed out the former Miss GB (sacked for allegedly bedding Ted the judge) by confiding in his housemates that he was craving his habitual Turning Japanese.

He needs to have a word with himself like this perhaps:

When I need love
I hold out my hands and I touch love
I never knew there was so much love
Keeping me warm night and day

Leo certainly shouldn't join nonentity Donny and dirty old man Ken in going over the wall. He needs to realise that he must let the show go on:

Baby, I wish you'd help me escape
And help me get away
Leave me outside my address
Far away from this masquerade
I've been so blind, oh yes, I've been so blind
Wasted my time, wasted so much time
Walking on the wire, high wire, yeah
But I must let the show go on

At least none of this was as gross as "Doctor" Gillian McKeith playfully poking putrid poo. Something she does instead of having a proper catch phrase. I swear that if she didn't have that PhD I wouldn't believe half of what she says. Leo should lay off the quack "Horny" though, just in case it drives him to show Big Brother his dick, as he offered today. Yes, I know, Leo Sayer. Who'd have thought it?