Leadership as X Factor: Leadership Nominations Online in Real Time

Perhaps instead it's Jeux Sans Frontieres: Games Without Frontiers, Wars Without Tears? Or Eurovision Song Contest: And from our North East jury: Charles Clarke Nul poins! Et cetera, et cetera and ad nauseum.

New Labour apparently intend to give hourly updates on leadership nominations on the website to engender interest in the country.

Nominations from MPs are due to be put up on the Labour party website on a near hourly basis as part of a plan to increase traffic and interest in the election. MPs will be given three Westminster sitting days to canvass nominations. Any candidate receiving more than 45 votes would have to accept or decline the nomination.

Over three days the competition will see twists and turns, analysis and speculation, as Gordon's alleged 200 nominations are farmed out carefully to keep things live.

Will any other candidate stage an ambush by keeping their powder dry until day three? Will some Brownies be swayed by the smell of the greasepaint, the roar of the paper tigers, and the froth of the rigged ITV phone vote operating alongside?

Will Miliband get a quick 50 nominations without even declaring? Will they be made transferrable in case Mili Vanilli declines? Will Brown deliberately lend some of his nominations out with plenary indulgences? To anyone-but-Mili?

Or will there perhaps be a show of force with Meacher's three being blasted onto the chart immediately for an early lead? To dine out over in dotage with family, friend(s), not to forget all his tenants. "I led the leadership contest once, you know? Now where's your rent you lumpen prole?"