Cam-Croft: Unpermissable Air Con and Carbon Coughing

Sadie Westmonster is of the per ardua astra work ethic and has roared into the Flying Lion homework set by Professor Watson, who never asks a question when he doesn't know the answer. Sadie has moved straight to the top of the class. Where Dave-id Cameron was born to be. Sadie's there on merit.

Sadly Dave has slumped to the dunce's corner passing a soaring Political Penguin. Davey's on the way down (in the polls too) with yet another failure to play fair with donations from or adjacent to the sainted Lord Ashcroft (he resigned from the board of Flying Lion in 2002 but may of course still be there in the shadows, we really don't know now do we?).

Sadie speculates that, as Dave's flight to Darfur was clearly less than £1,000 as he hasn't declared it, these public spirited folk must have got him an Easyjet ticket. Because if they'd used Flying Lion's luxury aircraft (above) the correct cost to recharge would have been £40,000 or so each way, and not much less for running back empty. Which is not less than £1,000 in our book. So he cannot have used it after all. The same must go for all the other flights these Tory jetters have disclosed or else a factor of 30x needs to be applied to everything.

Why not? Just because you have a business jet doesn't mean you must use it when flying scheduled would save money, ozone holeage and carbon emissions.

But let's not even start some kind of dog sleigh gate or refer to the trifling bicycle to work gate or debate whether Glyn Davies AM has a point about helicopter hypocrite gate whatever they say in his comments. Let's just not worry about the carbon coughing for one-toff-in-a-jet-straddling-the-world at this stage.

Flying Lion also seems to be an off-shore company and the jet - offers invited - is registered in Bermuda. Are the company even "permissible donors and lenders"?

Sadie has the full works.

BIGGLESWORTHS OF THE YARD: The Westmonster and Political Penguin tag team are still coming up with more perplexing mysteries about Victor Papa - Bravo Mike Sierra. Could be Charlie Foxtrot is not for Conservative Future after all ...