Iain Dale: Has Been Burgled, Twenty Hours Ago

Oh dear. Iain Dale's outbuildings have been burgled. Not seven hours ago though. That's a fib. It was 12 or more hours before that more than likely.

Having been burgled a number of times, three times in one year being the worst spate - until we got are rather big, barky dogs that is - I sympathise.

But it must be said that even directing traffic or reinforcing the Met at a London derby football match - like the one Iain has been sobbing at this afternoon - are activities that require live police from West Kent more than a burglary that has taken place.

Possibly 12 hours before even being reported, in which no-one was harmed or even scared, in which there are no eye witnesses, in which - though you don't say - nothing much was gone apart from £400 of lead off the roof. Off the roof of some media tart's outbuildings.

If there are worthwhile forensic clues; if the guys that do great train robberies and bullion raids have a moment; and they do decide to send a SOCO they'll quite likely still be some clues there.

The last time the police didn't attend our place when they arguably should have done was when I had a good look at a big crack-addled burglar chappie checking out the back of our house.

Including full face, close up. In broad day light. And with the call within seconds of the miscreant leaving the scene. They have neither sent an officer nor even taken much of a description over the 'phone.

It is of course possible that they knew immediately from release schedules or the basic description who this was or had even picked them up. This is also possible in your case Iain.

We have far more police now than under the Tories. The unnecessary paperwork that has grown up under successive governments - not just Labour - apparently accounts for 3% of police time. Which is less than the circa 15% uplift in numbers.

If Iain Dale can explain why the police should prioritise a bitty blogger burglary over anything else I'd be interested to read it.

And if he could reassure us that he at no point told them he is a top boy blogger, Total Pants publisher and occasional Telegraph op-ed writer and would feature their incompetence en blog I'd be very relieved indeed.