Forensic Audit Panel: Boris is a Whacko Waster

Read all about it! There's nothing to say. All is well. We're sorry. When we said Mayor Ken and his "wicked" cronies were "at it" ... we meant they were running London beautifully, legally, honestly. Wicked! There has in fact been more corrupt appointing and wastage of public funds in Boris' first 80 days than in the whole of Ken's eight years. "We are walking, talking, troughing proof of that ourselves", said the disappointed FAP Tory Lynch Mob led by Virtuous Patience. Above, handling Boris' disappointment.

Meanwhile Boris' biggest booboo of the first 60 days, that's Ray Lewis remains in hiding. Breaking appointment after appointment.

Rueing the day he met Dave, Boris and the whole Tory crew, if not his days allegedly plundering the poor box, allegedly doing a Christopher Copperfield with a reasonably-priced car, allegedly brokering sex industry apprenticeships for young girls from the Spice Islands, allegedly being predatory around parishioners financially and sexually, being a defrocked priest, being a non-Justice of the Peace, menacing and disciplining bad bwoys to the point of police involvement, losing local authority financial support, and did I mention allegedly plundering the poor box? Seriously, where has that Ray Lewis story disappeared to?

Such a shame that Boris decided that once he'd left the staff there was no point in investigating the poor misused man, ahem, "clearing his name" and all that. "Still a job waiting" when he manages that. While the FAP continued of course to probe Ken's former employees, er, also, er, no longer working for the authority.

But the FAP were not entirely useless. They have suggested that by cutting funding to the RISE Music Festival their own fat faces could be paid for further unaccountable appointments at Boris' top table. It cost £300,000 this year. Seeing three-figure inflation in just weeks as a supply-side shortage saw other funders refusing to back a Festival stripped of its anti-racist message.

All links are to Tory Troll, one of several fine sites attempting to hold slippery Boris to account.