Wednesday, April 29, 2009

EXCLUSIVE Prezza Calls: Put Your Sweet Lips ... Closer To T'Phone

A wire tap into the Number Ten bunker has revealed that ONE THOUSAND count 'em! Labour activists have already taken up John Prescott's call above to get jiggy on the office desk busy on the virtual telephone bank. And in great news on the Tractor Production front these mighty Stakhanovite/Stakhanova (that Equality Bill innit) cold war class warriors have each exceeded their production targets by more than 45% ... with 10 days of cold war calling still to go!

This success - including a good few 'phone ins, like this one for tea-breaking Edinburgh Astrology-Tarot-Crystal-0880 workers comes on top of the many thousands of people being 'phoned from traditional paper lists, in connection with by-elections and target constituencies.

Statistics leaked from Tractor Production Central:

Just 90 of 100 days past
15,709 calls made
by 1,083 users
with a 14.5 calls per user average

Virtual 'phonebank is one technique that Dougie has "stolen with pride" from BO's Web 2.0 success.

Tractor Commissar Alexander is now calling for a Great Leap Forward and a doubling of overall output, in just 10 days:

"Put your sweet lips a little closer to the phone" our mole in the hole whispers " can say the words I want to hear ..." before continuing "Darling won't you answer yes or no?" and "you know Alistair, I'm not wearing anything at all, it's getting so very hot and moist down here". Shome mistake shurely? Ed.


Anonymous said...

Keep the morale up chaps!

With Hague spouting off that the Tories have the next general election in the bag and brainless opposition MPs asking the most moronic questions in PMQs today, Tory arrogance and unctuousness is starting to become more and more evident.

Chris Paul said...

17 millionaires on the Tory front bench ... though strangely enough they weren't all in the house today ... you don't make millions serving your country ... unless you are Tory MEP Den Dover, Tory MP Derek Conway, Tory couple forced to pay rellies for room and board the Wintertons ...

Obnoxio The Clown said...

As opposed to Three Homes Straw, Three Homes Darling, Three Homes Brown, Three Wanks Timney ....

Chris Paul said...

1. Thatch invented this corrupt and corrupting system

2. Q. What did her minions do? A. Same as NL

3. Wintertons ridiculous, his point today shameful

4. Dover, Conway, Chichester - coastal towns on the gravy boat ...

Anonymous said...

You should pack your boxing gloves if you go to see JP on his bus ... jiggy on the desk indeed.