Paul Rowen MP: Gordon Brown Cuts Off His Porcine Troughing

Bravo Mr Brown! Number Ten Video Tape action above. Strange smiley thing going on and all. But smile or no smile it's like a bolt from the blue for red, blue and yellow all.

Our great fan Paul Rowen MP and, for the avoidance of doubt other greedy bastard MPs on all sides of the house, are to finally get their cheeky bare arses spanked, expenses wise. Along the lines that the dynamic duo of Ben Wallace MP and John Mann MP proposed in this Daily politics piece around the time of the last MP trough-athon.

Parliamentary Allowances is just one of the many areas in which Paul Rowen MP is getting his constituents' backs up with his "say one thing - do another" bare arsed cheek. He says all expenses receipts should be made public immediately. But his remain secret. And his local party's at least a little shady.

Rowen claims the absolute maximum second home allowance he could. Our other big fan John Leech MP only claims about half this. There, I've caught him doing something right. Rowen's expenses are something that has been vexing the Rochdale Observer's postbag, and even his pocket Rochdale Online. Letters, many of them in Hen-speak!, have been arriving from all sorts of places, over all sorts of names.

There was one from "Nora Leach" claiming Rowen should get a paid-for House halfway down to London as well, so good is he as an MP. Rowen's creature Hen has now even posted one in his own name. So eerily sycophantic it must leave him a really bad taste in his soiled mouth to have to stoop so low for his hypocritical master's skin.

A halfway house would be somewhere to rest his bare-faced cheeks as he bimbles from liquid lig to slap up supper. Rowen wobbles and he DOES fall down, apparently, breaking a tooth in the process. Last time I did that, many many years ago, half-a-life ago and the rest, I had taken a few drinks I must confess. The time before I went over the handlebars, having front-braked at the bottom of a steep hill as a ten year old.

Breaking teeth in a fall? Surely this is something for binge drinkers and children, way beneath the dignity of a Member of Parliament? Even a Wobbly Bob like Rowen? Speaking of which the fatuous fool continued his "only here for the beer" campaign (right) with some right sickly drivel! about Old Speckled "Hen" being the ale of the gentleman drunk, while yobs drink lager and vodka. Someone should tell Hen. Mr Rowen fixated about these pubs too you'll remember when he was busily missing Gaza-related meetings and speeches.

John Mann MP, who represents the town of my birth and was a University of Manchester Student Union hack at the time I was running the Athletics Union across the road, before the whole thing was Draperised and shoddified, continues to give it some on expenses. Yesterday throwing the doors of his second home open to Radio Five Live. Warning: there is a picture of Shane Greer at this link too. Though he has included the Gordie video, and he's right about the involuntary smiley thing going on, Shane hasn't commented on the John's flat thing though he did trail it.

In my opinion - as long as the Tracy-the-fiddler controversy can be settled - John Mann is the kind of honest, decent, hard-working MP that Gordon Brown should have as a sounding board and to watch his back. Victoria Derbyshire's whole show yesterday was an outside broadcast from John Mann's rented room, ten minutes walk from Parliament. There's a "listen again" button four decks down in the side bar. Select Monday. Or click here, launches player. It's a three-hour programme and I don't have the key "Mann" times to hand though it certainly begins with the first item after the news and sport and it's pretty much wall-to-wall Mann.

STOP PRESS: Paul Rowen MP has added his Letter from Parliament to his "Putting Rowen First" website. He has REMOVED the defamatory material about the "local Labour Party", bloggers, and untruths. Wonder if Hen has had his bottom spanked for including that nonsense in the other versions?