Breaking News: Andrew MacKay Gone, Kirkbride or Dorries Next?

Last night Andrew MacKay MP claimed to have 75% support in his Bracknell constituency. Citizens said he was lying and pointed out there was no vote. That has become irrelevant. He's facing the music and off tap-dancing into the sunset.

The Lumley can forget Bracknell and wait orders before driving her Gurkha Brigade to either Woburn to see off celebrity complainer Nadine Dorries MP or to Bromsgrove to take out ever-grinning ex-Telegraph hack Julie Kirkbride. Which of these ladies will be toast first?