EXCLUSIVE Plagiarism, Pass-Bucks, Pedantry: J Rees-Mogadon

An old friend of mine, writing in the second ever issue of City Life Magazine, which was published in January 1984 but said "January 1983" on the cover, see I've known about embarrassing typos since time, said some words to the effect that Barney Albrecht and New Order were "ordinary people perfecting ordinariness". Above you will find one Jacob Rees-Mogg (wiki) explaining how he, and indeed all the other wingnut New Tory PPCs are indeed ordinary chaps and chappesses, representative of the cream of the cranks broad population of our country, unlike Cameron's Eh? List.

Watch it a few times and you'll warm to him, really. You may even become incandescent with warmth. But even if JRM is not representative of the broad population he may not be too far from the median* of the very reactionary Hoorays and Sloanes and yes yes a few over-promoted (but, worry not, suitably reactionary) "pot plants"* lined up in the winnables for David Cameron's completely refreshed, modernised, purged of toffee no-marks, Cuddly Nu Conservative Party.

* A statistical concept more relevant than "average" to JRM's banter.
** Please read on for an explanation of this characterisation.

Journalists such as Jacob's dad William "Mogodon" "Mystic Mogg" Rees-Mogg, sometime Editor of the Thunderer, really do not like plagiarism.

Nicking ideas off Guido is one thing. But stealing finished work wholesale? Beyond the pale, as any fool know. So when JRM got caught 'aving it away with some of Trevor Kavanagh's finest prose he apologises (Press Gazette) and apologises (Guardian) and apologises (Pater's Times) and apologises (Kavanagh's Sun) and even gets ribbed by Tom Watson MP for this lamentable lapse in standards.

Of course JMR was already quite famous by then for the above Newsnight interview and his reference to non-Poxbridge and Eh? List types as "Pot plants" incapable of correct spolling and grimmer, never mind becoming MPs. That was why he'd triumphed and become PPC for North East Somerset - he was a cut above the Aspidistra and heaven-forfend Marijuana class. Tom Watson MP naturally had a go for that too. What a cheeky oik that one is!

It was one week ago today that semi-literate plagiariser Tory candidate Jacob Rees-Mogg sent out yet another installment of shimmering non-pot-plant prosification.

Eton-educated Mr Rees-Mogg's press release has two spelling mistakes in the first few lines. There's 'as' instead of 'an', and 'pad' instead of 'paid'. Strictly speaking these are likely "typos" rather than spelling mistakes. As they are real words they pass muster in the Word spelling and grammar check. As do a couple of pretty odd verb agreement decisions.

If only Microsoft programmes had benefited from hours of advanced box analysis with the late great Captain Hollingsworth Rtd. There is also a problematic statistical non-sequitor that GCSE Maths and Stats for Commerce at a local secondary modern would have caught, but apparently not Eton and Poxbridge. And just as an aside JMR's online CV fails to mention either of these beneficial educational excursions away from darkest Somerset.

Clearly JRM had not actually written the plagiarised article. Doh! Trevor Kavanagh did didn't he? But there was more. JRM had not actually even NOT written said article. He blamed somebody else for that. That being one of his salaried staff at his own London-based hedge fund company, Somerset Capital Management, that did NOT write that one. And it looks like it's another of them that stuffed up the spollings on this one.

She - last in the list, and nominally the author of this JRM expertise - also cannot spell or proof read. So maybe it was he - first in the list, the plagiariser who'd never be allowed to not write anything for JRM ever again - all along? I think we should be told.

JRM is the bloke who told the Western Daily Press (July 2006)

"I have been very fortunate in being educated at Eton and Oxford, and I think policy
should be directed at creating an education system that is good for everyone."

Good to know that big money buys the very best edyukayshun.

The news release has been posted on JRM's website - WITHOUT human proofreading, without ordinary perfecting ordinariness verb agreements, and without basic statistical numeracy. At LOL we feel that we really owe it to all the slumdogs on Cameron's Eh? List and beyond to share this let down with a wider audience. MEANWHILE: Jacob's sister Annunziata is clearly a pot plant and needed the stoopid Eh? List to get selected in a winnable.