Saturday, September 05, 2009

Nominations Open: Who Do You Think You're Kidding Mr Griffin?

So, rather inevitably, with two MEPs in the bag the BNP are reputedly invited to put one of them on the platform at BBC Question Time, report Times Online. Quite a flurry, and a divided flurry at that, from Labour tweeters. With some twaddle from the odd Tory.

Some debate too in Parliamentary Labour circles about sharing a platform with the horribly damaged hate merchant Nick Griffin. Personally I would take the decision away from the PLP wheedlers and take the law into our own hands.

I'd stick four sharp comedians or entertainers on there with Der Furore - possibly armed with custard pies, sharp sticks and/or green goo. But certainly with the means to ridicule His Nastiness.

Billy Bragg? Jo Brand? Meera Syal? Lenny Henry? Lee Herring? Stephen Fry? Rabbi Julia perhaps? To stray a little outside Equity ranks. Certainly NOT Polly or Yasmin. Serious ridicule is what that man needs. Make him see the funny side of his lifelong mistake. Tories like his dad are barking wrong, of course they are, but Going Nazi is not the answer. If you think it is you're asking the wrong question.

Wipe the smug scowl of Nasty Nick's contorted visage. And see the poop from his addled mind, spilled out, pulled to bits, plain for all to see. Can this man-child be made to beam with bonafide warmth and contentment towards the world of colourful diversity on his doorstep?

That will make the tabloids, the humouroids and the broadsheets the next day. Whereas Alan Duncan and Lynne Featherstone and Geoff the Hoon, let's say, giving him ear ache and what for ain't going to cut the mustard.

Who would you send in to nail Nick Griffin? Category A: Politicians; Category B: Freestyle; Category C: International; Category D: All Time. And Category E: who would you pray that the BBC super-libs don't invite to the party party?

Nominations in comments please. And do tell your friends. Inward links and tweets very welcome.


Mick Swales said...

A. Politician: Dan Hannan
It would be like Dumb and Dumber.
B. Freestyle: Frankie Boyle/Bill Bailey
C: Intenational: Rich Hall
D: All Time: Matthew Corbett with Sooty/Sweep/Sue
E: Pretty much anyone else.

Anonymous said...

The problem is Griffin is good, very good on telly.

And the squad you mention just make him look better.

Whatever you do, don't turn up with Brown.

That'll make Griffin look messianic

Chris Paul said...

Can't see Billy Bragg or Jo Brand making Nazi Griffin look better. He's only good on telly when ill-prepared journos don't JEER AT HIM.

Bring in the clowns.

Anonymous said...

D. Ali in his prime

gosub said...

Alan Johnson,
David Davis
Paddy Ashdown
Peter Tatchell