EXCLUSIVE: Kelly, Nadine, Philippa, Jennifer Con Family Values

Iain Dale has this morning produced the following thoughtful contribution to the debate Blogpost: The Rights and Wrongs of Kelly's Leaks.

I responded by asking for his thoughts, thusly:

1. What do you think of MPs hiring family members with little or no experience, with no advertising, and at vastly inflated salary points? And I don't mean 20 years ago, after which said rellies learnt the job.

2. What would you say to any MP entering into new arrangements along the lines of the above AFTER the focus moved onto MPs expenses and some MPs rather corrupt behaviour?

And in an unconnected - we don't even follow one another! - tweeting accident @NadineDorriesMP writes:

I've employed a member of my family since the day a journalist gave my researcher £250 in cash as advance payment for any 'tit bits' of info

Nadine Dorries MP, is of course the controversial Conservative member for Mid Beds, who came out fighting over expenses when the Telegraph rather rudely suggested that she hasn't really got a "main home" as such and appears to live mainly in her "second home" which is paid for, rented that is, entirely by the taxpayer. What rudies those Telegraph people are! Nadine denied everything of course! And lots more besides!! See LOL's passim.

We'll come back to Nadine's ex- Paul Dorries later in the day. Let's turn now to other family members. Obviously as a so-called BCS Princess of the Blogs Ms Dorries affects to tell the world all about everything on her so called blog. Almost but not quite down to her dogs passing wind. Apologies at this point if I've somehow missed an hilarious canine anal interjection anecdote!

Sure enough this blog has included two episodes of Nadine's daughter Jennifer being employed as an intern at Westminster. The first time on NMW. Thank Labour for that!! The second time (right) on £8 per hour. Labour-plus!!!! Thanks mum for that.

Hurrah for an MP that actually *pays* their interns!! We also learned that Nadine employed a person named Philippa and that this person was wholly responsible for any and all cock ups or cover ups in Nadine's allowances claims! No, that's not it, was responsible for the complete lack of cock ups or cover ups in same I mean!

But this Philippa is NOT Philippa Storm Dorries, Jennifer's elder sister, though that is not to say that that Philippa had not joined the family firm in due course. Sowing a certain amount of Philippa confusion there, good skills.

In fact, although mum's blog told us nothing of the momentous decision by Nadine to employ Philippa she is properly declared as an employee at "Office Manager/Executive" level in Part II of mummy's Register of Members Interests. Sept 2 version - when did she fly to Oz? The Oct 14 button links to the same doc. While the PDF download still lists Philippa.

"Office Manager/Executive Secretary" is the highest level in the recommended scales. Although that scale is wide - about £21k to £40k. And although MPs can throw in some form of "special responsibility" words and go "off the scale!" and even "off the hook!!"with little chance I'm told of the authorities knocking anything back. Which surely needs a look from Kelly?

The ingrate Philippa quickly saved out some cash and sodded off to Australia in some kind of leave of absence arrangement in early September. That was blogged or tweeted I think, though without reference to the family firm aspects. But fear not dear reader! Mum wasn't completely left in the lurch!!

Nadine's second daughter Jennifer had after all just graduated from a fine University!!! She could at least help out making the tea and so on while a strenuous and transparent recruitment and selection process ensued after PSD had left with but three months' notice. Although mum spoke in parliament about how this bright young graduate would be hit by recession and be unable to ever get a job. That'd be something to get her started:

I feel that I am standing here as much as a mother as an MP, because my daughter opened her university results today and we all found out what grade she had got. It was a great day for us. I have now been a university mother for six years, and my children are the first on either side of the family to go to university. We are therefore incredibly proud of them, and Jennifer is also incredibly proud of her result—[Hon. Members: “What did she get?”] I am not allowed to say.

(.big snip.)

As I said, my daughter graduated today, but she is facing a grim future. Although she will not find employment, the interest on her student loan and those of all her fellow graduates will be racking up while they try to find work. We have known for the past year that she would graduate and probably not find employment.

But mum was so completely and utterly wrong about that!! LOL had of course been predicting great things for this impressive young woman. How was it mum didn't see this?! As she wailed on and on and on about youth in recession, student loans that could never be repaid, depression, drop outs, babylon, babble on?

Jennifer Dorries has indeed landed on her feet and got an absolutely unbelievable job at a preposterous rate of pay, if she herself is to believed that is, in vino veritas and all that, and also with powers and duties that totally exceed her skills, knowledge and experience! But!! Totally!!!

The rate of pay Ms Dorries has been telling her new found chums at work is quite simply extraordinary. For any indutrial or commercial sector LOL can think of.

In fact only last night I conducted a little quiz, with a worker in the very industry where she has washed up, about typical first-jobber rates of pay. Remarkably Ms Dorries claims to be paid around 250% of that person's guess! Which guess incidentally is born out by a skim of vacancies at the industry's main job website. Plus quite wonderous perks and what have yous!!!! Says an excited young Jennifer.

Well done Jennifer!!! Nadine Dorries MP may be a chump in all kinds of ways but she has raised a daughter with the get up and go to land a plum job at a ridiculous pay scale with ridiculous responsibilities and duties that Jennifer admits to work chums that she doesn't have much of a clue how to attempt. She may not "have a political bone in her body" but that shouldn't matter. The job surely cannot require that.

So what is this job?! Strangely enough, as we have speculated for months here on LOL, it is a job in parliament! Taking over from sister Philippa! In mum's office! In fact, in charge of mum's office! And also, by way of justifying the ginormous salary apparently involved, in charge of the constituency staff as well! What a blooming coup!!!

The only real question now - apart from "how very dare she?!" - is around whether Nadine's Staff Allowances would be able to cope if Pippa Storm returned from Australia hoping to return to the payroll, which according to Nadine's Part II declaration she has yet to leave? And which according to the PDF (op cit) download is yet to list Jennifer alongside her older sister.

That's all for now. But there's much much more where that came from. And though Nadine is standing deep in a hole she continues to tweet and blog herself deeper.