Blowing the Gaffs seems spot on for the process of revealing some of the Ms Nadine Bargery-Dorries Mum-P's secret arrangements, and those of her nearest and dearest.
From World Wide Words, copyright © Michael Quinion, 1996–2010. Think this is in the fair use range, but can shorten, remove or replace on request.
Blowing the Gaffs works well enough for housing secrets of course, Gaffs, slang for houses, homes, pads. And not bad for its Gaffes sound-alike. And the possible Gabs derivation flies too. But the real problem is "where to start?" Tweeting the possibilities:
We could start with :
The main home intrigue. That overseas property in South Africa was of course declared in the Register of Members' interests. But three properties in Chipping Campden, apparently owned by the Mum-P and the Dad-P were not.
The rules say that property interests apart from the main home ought to be. They cannot all have been main homes at once. And two of them were converted as an award winning Bed and Breakfast. One wholly, with planning consent for Gorgeous} at Singer Hall - a proposed beauty salon that never quite came off. The other partly.
Gorgeous 2 was of course ENORMOUSLY unpopular with the neighbours and burghers of Chipping Campden. Just as Gorgeous} at the Chocolate Box in Prestbury had been. The Village is still rather blighted by that one.
Of course the South African property disappeared from the RMI recently, with only a minor level of notice from the blogmedia, with a rather tetchy response to that from the Mum-P. Perhaps because the property - one large and two small plots - was repossessed by the bank and sold in a no-reserve auction? Ouch!
Can't pay, won't pay! As the farcicist Dario Fo would have it. LOL wonder if the same kind of process, approximately went for any of the Chipping Campden properties and at which stages post-election in June 2005 these were (a) not a building site and (b) available to the Mum-P as potential "main home" and (c) actually used by the Mum-P as the "main home" within the definitions, guidance and custom and practice?
Once the last of these three were sold, and with the South African stuff ineligible and gone, there was no owned property - whether eligible as "main home" or not. This would be when the game of cat and mouse with the Fees Office began in earnest. With the Mum-P refusing point blank to match the other 650 MPs in sharing an address with the Parliamentary authorities.
Presumably that arrangement would be like a red rag to a bull to anyone seeking to see all MPs accountable, open, transparent and honest? We could ask a few questions of the Mum-P at this point to pinpoint and investigate the "main home". But we'll save that.
Being the employment of not one but two apparently unsuitable, unskilled, untrained, inexperienced (parliamentary work-wise), and uncommitted daughters. And this strange new business of the PR agency in the Cotswolds hamlet. And not in the Shakespearian tragedy sense. Though rather close to Will's own country as it goes.
We could start with that I suppose. Coming bang up to date of course with Daughter 1 returning penniless from Oz for a refill on the taxpayers' teat, but before Daughter 2 - as celebrated in Hansard - headed off for her own celebratory travels. Be interesting to hear whether the "wholly necessary etc" staffing requirement of the Mum-P would be able to accommodate both girls.
A bulge in casework perhaps?
The business dealings of Paul David Dorries have of course been the subject of detailed investigations mentioned in LOLs passim. Offering investment advice to vulnerable people though untrained and unlicensed, and indeed handling deals with some suggestion of "power of attorney". Copper-bottomed investment opportunities, cannot fail, upwards only movements. You know the kind of thing.
These are what his former customers claim. These claims have been repeated publicly for months, if you know where to look. Lawyers have in fact huffed and chuffed. But presented with the evidence not one but two of Paul David Dorries' legallists have showed him the door and/or rolled over. I'm told.
Spread-betting of course. And also some fantastic opportunities to get in at the ground level in Dorries-esque ventures. Later recognised by share certificates in a strange little company, not in fact in the same sort of business as the supposed killer investments. Surely never worth the implied value? Was that Company ever worth several millions of pounds? Certainly not worth tuppence now, a couple of years later.
But hey ho. Easy come easy go? I'm sure this'll all come out in the wash. In the laundry. LOL won't be washing that dirty linen just yet. So what's next?
Intriguing inconsistencies on the marriage question of course. Both the Mum-P and the Dad-P had of course been married before. Then according to the Conservative's profile there was a meeting of minds midst the mines in Zambia and a marriage on your return. Must be a mistake? As there was that early Hansard entry with the Mum-P explaining her African connections and a marriage over there in Zambia.
Which would of course involve registration with the Embassy and all that malarkey, though strangely there's no trace of any such registration.
Then time took its toll. 23 years in the "marriage" alas was done for. With various reports of divorce, separation, estrangement and all those beguiling permutations. Once again there must have been a cock up as it were on the administrative front. There is certainly no sign of any divorce done and dusted, or even under way.
One or two inconsistencies in the stories around all this of course. And Paul still hanging around like a bad smell, continuously turning up like the proverbial bad penny. And in an extraordinarily bold approach with the Mum-P venting continuously about family values, feckless unmarried mums, conservative family values and all that. Very brave indeed. Though it's all just a little like a Carla Lane sitcom when it comes to sticking together to pay the rent.
Self-explanatory. Ms Nadine Bargery-Dorries Mum-P has of course been deliberately tweeting myloc locations for some time now. Less certain though whether those Über Twitter locations early doors were also intentional or not.
Having allowed her last Nads and Paul company venture company - Domicilias Limited - to crash and burn without ever filing returns or account in around five years, there seemed to be a hiatus in the family incorporation game.
Domicilias (Doh! My Silly Ass) had been struck off with a fixed and floating charge from the Bank of Scotland still recorded as unsatisfied, apparently related to a Cheshire main home of pre Mum-P days. That wasn't registered as an interest either. Not sure it positively had to be. Can't be sure. Rules so hard sometimes.
Anyway, back in the game mid 2009! Via what looked like a Consultancy business. Preparing her parachute I thought. Ready to offer introductions and influence. But I had misjudged the Mum-P. NOT a management consultancy at all. Whatever category it may say it is at Companies House.
Actually an achingly interesting alternative medicine business, jumping in alongside the "Doctor" (Diploma in Osteopathy, DOh!). And then jumping out alongside him only last month. What went on there I wonder? Can't say I liked the look of the business myself. Playing on mums' health fears and that. Perhaps 'twas best to jump?
Yeah, the quackery. Remember the brave and glorious Simon Singh! So this must be a reference to the many and varied duckponds of old Cheshire. Quack, quack, quack. If you must know it's the esteemed discipline of Paediatric Cranial Osteopathy. Stop sniggering at the back! PCO is top knotting good. Ask Ben Goldacre.
Well, that'll be a key man in both the Dad-P's worthless (as it turned out) copper bottomed investment opportunity and the Mum-P's temporary nursely interest in PCO. Selling expanded polystyrene foam mattresses to worried parents and all that.
Well, yes. Nadine's crazy talk blogpost offering to spill the beans on some dodgy investment dealings. Not authentic Nad-talk by any manner of means. Ghost-written by someone from somewhere else. A blast from the past very likely. Doesn't look like a move that would be approved by my learned friends at Carter Ruck to me. But we'll see.
So, there's quite a lot to go at isn't there? We'll see soon whether the boys and girls of the Sunday Mainstream Media have found the #GoNads to elaborate on some or all of the above.