Nadine Dorries MP, How Very Could You? Q34-47 Stable Door to Seventh Heaven

Appeared first as part of the Nuts in November series on 23 November 2009.

Still working through some of the old school CV flexing. But needs must. Onto some of the allowances, the ex- factor and the main home questions later. Cracking on:

Question 34: Now, one thing that isn't all that well known outside yours and Paul's circle of friends, party members and accomplices is that he, Paul David Dorries not Nadine Vanessa Bargery-Dorries, was the aspiring politician at the get go. The odd site signals this. For example both of you were assessed in terms of your European perspective on one list of candidates. Both found to have no stated opinion whatsoever. But leaving euroscepticism or otherwise aside, actually he is far brighter isn't he? And actually more of a political animal. The one who first got involved in community politics, conservatism and candidacy? The substantive question being: How could you trample on your poor ex- and his political ambitions? Rain on his parade?

Question 35: How does your "She'll Knock Your Socks Off" Bargery buxom barefoot blonde bombshell babe schtick - as rolled out in Hazel Grove in 2001 - sit with your "Merit" agenda? And with your opposition to Cammeron's new idea of women getting treated favourably in selection?

Question 36: You were Pro Choice then weren't you? Strongly opposing the dithery but anti-choice Stunnell and the principled lifelong anti-choice Milner for Labour. Have you actually changed your views and if so why so? Or were you opportunistically fibbing then? Or are you opportunistically fibbing now?

Question 37: After your frankly twatty and toolish campaign in Hazel Grove, and the long campaign giving them time to find you out, and almost but not quite see you de-selected, you decided to get serious didn't you, with your scheming if not with any actual contribution?

Question 38: Pippa Storm Dorries, the eldest [certainly known] nepotistical employee of the Mum-P, currently in Australia but still nominally holding her place on the to be frozen family of Mum-Ps taxpayers' payroll [unpaid leave], did her GCSEs at Alderley Edge School for Girls as I recall. With a broken bone or so involved in some way? Delaying her exams wasn't it? Is that right?

Question 39: And Jennifer Lauren Dorries, who has joined the Mum-P's staff at what she herself alleges is a £50,000 "chief of staff" pay point, did hers at King's School Macclesfield I think? Is that right?

Question 40: How did they, as children of a rather irreligious and very un-Catholic "knock your socks off" would be candidate end up transferring for 6th form to the leading Roman Catholic Public School Ampleforth? [Did I tell you one of my old schoolies and also an old chorister chum actually work there?]

Question 41: Some say former PPC and current Tory Baroness Tish Morris of Bolton, whose kids also attended Ampleforth in a spectacular coincidence, and who by pure chance was leading on candidate selection and machinations for the Con-party, was the pull of the monkish Yorkshire popery centre. Is that correct?

Question 42: After all there are dozens and dozens of good day and boarding schools for girls in the country. If you've ever lived in Yorkshire or had a good word for catholicism (or indeed religion by this point) LOL have yet to turn it up. Come on Nadine, admit it, you used your now employee girls to cosy up to the selection apparatus of the Tory party, didn't you?

Question 43: And so it came to pass that, with both Nadine Vanessa Bargery-Dorries and Paul David Dorries having failed to find a winnable seat for 2005, with just a few weeks to go, you came to be parachuted into to uber safe Mid Bedfordshire. How on earth does this turn of events and the direction from Michael Howard to the constituency party square with your twaddle about "Merit"?

Question 44: Also a bit bemusing to hear talk in 2005 of this being the right time to have a go, with a child of 14, any younger not being fair blah de blah and you former head of a "Community School in Zambia" and all, when you had stood when Cassandra was just 9 going on 10. What on earth were you up to? Twaddling liberally to anyone who would listen? Do you ever actually get things right, true and fair?

Question 45: Clearly your dabbling with high end Roman Catholic Education, being as you'd previously been virtually atheist with no serious church schools or Sunday observation on any family CVs I so far know of, was a bit of a shock to this sensitive soul. Don't you see that Nadine? Picking up religion for careerist reasons in middle-age is an unattractive trait?

Question 46: But your naming of Jesus Christ as your hero in a pro forma interview following your election really was quite extraordinary. When Nadine did you actually "get god"? Would you call yourself "Born Again"? Or would it be, like Iain Dale more "Bjorn Again"?

Question 47: Your criticism of women who have, in accordance with their established beliefs, taken rather small grants towards candidacy or specifically selection attempts from Emily's List is well known. Can you see how a conversion from pro-choice to anti-choice coinciding with the gaming of followed by apparent patronage into a last minute uber safe seat from Roman Catholic interests, though you were previously non-Churchian, looks like whopping sin? Whereas taking a few quid for a leaflet from Emily's list in accordance with existing beliefs looks like virtue?