Clegg's Games: Unfairly Attacked, But His Troops? they're At It

If you search on this blog for "Leech" or "Rowen" or "Libdemologist" (like a scientologist with less moral fibre) you will find a rich seam of archive on these characters amnd their persistent gaming of the allowances system. And their general dishonesty and unpleasantness.

You can also try permutations of "Sir Cyril Smith", "Squirrel", "Printing", "John Bull", "Hoarding", "Drake Street", "Withington Printing Society", "Christie" and many more for hours of fun and laughter.

Today, using a Clegg and Leech picture (right) as their centre-piece, The Daily Mail has followed up a story that appeared on a minor inside page of the Telegraph in September 2009.

This told of how the Lib Dem MP at large is provided with a little handbook.

Let's call it Clegg's Games - A Compendium of Magic Tricks. That's not what it's called, but ain't he The Man just now? And ain't it magic?

This document explains how by consistent twisting, chancing, tweaking, gaming and subverting - using the Lib Dems official corporate protocols of unscrupulousness - a conscientious MP, looking after their own livelihood rather than the needs of constituents, can do some of their party pavement politics on the taxpayer.

The existence of Clegg's Games - along with other advice that is not committed to paper or digital publications - explains the unusually pervasive patterns of allowance use in the Libdemologist franchise. Using tips in this handbook or otherwise many of these creatures:

Have unconstituted and unaccountable printing societies which may share office space, do contribute to the campaign finances, may actually print stuff themselves, and also provide an imprint to cover print bought in from elsewhere;

Rent premises from local party units who may in turn rent from entities or individuals who are very favourably disposed towards the Libdemology cult. Some of the arrangements are shocking, most are eyebrow-raisingly peculiar;

Place adverts on their own political material or that of other libdemologists - for strictly non-political activities such as open-to-all advice sessions - subsidising party political expenses often at truly ludicrous costs;

Employ staff that appear on the face of it to mainly practice political dark arts rather than performing constituency work. They may call themselves "Agent" for example the late-lamented "Agent Hennigan", agent being a political role of course;

Pay a lump sum to a regional or national office of their cult. For who knows what. Effectively pooling some of the money meant for the benefit of constituents and let's say employing a press officer who churns out collective propaganda;

Receive tithes - usually to the party unit with whom they are symbiotically entwined - from councillors and others. Possibly 10% of allowances for basic back bench dosh and 20% for extra responsibility payments. A considerable sum of money for larger Lib Dem groups in Town Halls. Rarely are such funds declared as donations. These may be connected with the Secret Printing Society (op cit);

Systematically fail to produce accounts for their local political units. Even when the combination of rents, printing revenues, tithes and so on pushes them to twice the threshhold for compulsory production of these.

Many, many Lib Dem parliamentary candidates are currently crowing on their leaflets about how "clean" they are on expenses. Fact is they just have different vices. Tories did moats, ponds and houses and battlements, Labour are catching on to this but generally start with very flashy LCD Televisions and cut glass dishes; but the Lib Dems press their trousers and reinvest in their own future employment.

Some of the public appear to think that this is like charity in some way. But it's not. Political parties are not charities. And gaming parliamentary allowances to do anything other than serve the constituency, and hiding donations and intra-Lib Dem financial arrangements is very very wrong. Imagine the fuss they'd be making if it was one of what that Wizard Clegg calls the "Old Parties".

Most Lib Dem MPs are in fact useless. Uber-councillors. Achieving next to nothing. But by reinvesting their winnings into their own propaganda and so on they do their utmost to secure their jobs. And because of that propaganda - which they may be paying for themselves - they are duping quite a lot of people with their over-claiming and over-criticizing misery.

Through re-investment. Another five years. And in effect, another £1 Million into their pockets and their local Lib Dem economy.


I'll confess something at this point. I don't like them very much, taken as a whole. Some of them, a few, are OK of course. Deluded perhaps but pleasant, well-meaning and even on occasion useful to their constituents. But collectively? They're a shower of shits. Sorry, unparliamentary language. But we're not in parliament we're on an irreverent blog. Get over it.

Latest reading on one of these shits - local in the North West - is here: Paul Rowen and the Anatomy of a Lib Dem Expenses Scam, it's all there in the title really. Nothing much LOL's regular readers will not have come across already.

But finally it's getting a proper airing. Hurrah! You can airbrush your picture Paul Rowen, don't deny it, but you can't airbrush your expenses scams. Scams might I add over which you used heavy-handed legal means to suppress when the Guardian Media Group exposed them - with one small factual error - during 2009.

You didn't bother coming for me because as ever I'd have told you to go swivel. Facts is facts. And as we've not used a picture of would-be PPC and your former Political Agent and Smear Doctor Dave Hennigan for a while .. we've chucked one in above.

Paul Rowen also talks turkey (voting for Christmas) HERE on the BBC.

FOR THE AVOIDANCE OF DOUBT: I'm Labour. This is an irreverent and satirical blog produced in a personal capacity.