Sunday, August 30, 2009

Compassion Plea For Duncan: Tory Liabilities Must Be Nurtured

Tim Montgomerie at Conservative Home has reported that sheesh! for brains Alan Oily Duncan (archive) has drooped dramatically in the site's ratings scheme. With disapproval UP 20% in just two weeks. From 61% disapprove to a whopping 81% disapprove. More of them want four more years for Gordon than Duncan to prosper.*

Of course there isn't any guarantee of the authenticity of the voters as "Tory members" - unless CH is even more embedded in the party machine than it seems - but that is how Tory Home are representing the figures - as the view of party members.

Results like this give Labour bloggers and activists a dilemma. If this geezer - a manic foot-in-mouther waiting to happen, and a greedy capitalist unlikely to be able to disinvest and back away from all his jobs and money - has got this unpopular is it:

(a) Our job to help him to tipping point and get rid? Or

(b) Our bounden duty to throw the wicked little chancer our love, our prayers and our best wishes? And hope upon hope that he survives.

Given the very shallow and small Tory gene pool, with quite a number already "burned" and/or damaged; by Moat-and-Wisteria-gate, Ashcroft-gate, Euro-homophobe-gate, Bullingdon-gate, and a whole series of Hannan-gates; the first option is pretty tempting.

Could we "burn" enough for example that they promote the ridiculous mythomaniac, serial calamity and ongoing nepotista Nadine Dorries MP to some kind of spokesperson? More likely in this case that David Davis or the like would be rehabilitated, on a solemn promise of no more red mists and Magna moments?

Davis could perhaps provide some mileage. But far better in this case to opt for the second option. We MUST do all we can to keep Oily Duncan surviving and slithering on the slippery slope, surely? And should the axe fall we must be fulsome in our praise for the loathsome little oik: "Quite Sane For a Tory" springs to mind.

And while we're at it we really need to monitor but not attack Osborne lest this liability be shuffled out despite his money, his connections, his knowing where Cameron's skeletons are buried. And Grayling may be working up his incipient Tebbit-ism a treat - but he must be treasured. Although it is tempting to out Daniel Hannan and Dave Cameron over their bad police, good police double act this too must be nurtured and saved for 20-10.


David Cameron would have to be a fool to divest himself of the charming normal for a Tory, housewive's choice delight that is Alan Duncan. Alan loves money and lording it an awful lot. He despises the great unwashed. In short Alan Duncan is a proper root and branch Tory and can't be ousted on the say of newly cosmopolitan metrosexualist pinkos who read effete, liberal blogs on t'interweb.

* Mild exaggeration.

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