Cameron Speech: Observations on Feelgood Quackery

15:23 Will leave it there.

15:22 Ah bless. Samantha Stefani is by his side now. Looks uncomfortable. Like they've had a huge ruck.

15:21 Yah Boo Yah Boo Yah Boo. Call that election, we will fight, Britain will win.

15:21 Dares Brown to call election.

15:20 This speech keeps nearly ending. That's a bit tedious.

15:19 My mother the magistrate ... Swampy and Greenham Common. Public Service. Go back to your constituencies and prepare for government.

15:18 Has he got what it takes? He answers YES! But he would say that now wouldn't he? Tries to deal with privilege background and schooling.

15:17 Winds up wandering string of feel good quackery with more whimsy.

15:16 National Citizen Service for 16 Year olds. I'll come back to that. Amir Khan mention at this point.

15:15 Strengthening Families.

15:14 Anecdote re kid nicking from mother. Back to Dixon of Dock Green? Get rid of everything. Localise all control. Marvellous.

15:14 Scrap early release scheme. Why? But more important Reform the Police.

15:13 Crime. Some anecdotes and some slander.

15:11 Some more dodgy stats at this point. On China, carbon etc. The Party of Sensible Green Leadership.

15:10 Green issues; Not popular, I don't care, it falls to this generation.

15:09 Throwaway on HRA, scrapping iD cards, banning HuT, save trial by jury.

15:08 Pauline Neville-Jones - dig at dodgy dossier, which he of course voted for.

15:08 National Security Policy.

15:07 Blether about problems - most international liaison issues.

15:07 Cannot parachute in democracy. Oh really? Top priority is Afghanistan.

15:06 Bigs up Liam for promising to revoke cuts in the army. Stats alert?

15:05 Schools, housing and hospitals. Separate military wards he says.

15:05 Leave should start when you get home not set off. Very good point.

15:04 Accuses Labour of breaking The Military Covenant. Huge applause.

15:03 Says again Old Politics is Failing.

15:02 Will back GB on Iraq and Afghanistan. Incredible bravery in Helmand Province.

15:02 Backing Labour on Trident - again big applause.

15:01 Never put party before country - big applause.

15:01 10,000 trained terrorists in UK??????

15:00 Is this the third point? International security. Nukes and insurgencies.

14:59 Transitional controls new EU entrants; overall limit on economic migration.

14:58 IMMIGRATION! Right noises on benefit of immigration.

14:57 3. District General Hospitals, all with e.g. A&E services

14:56 2. Modern Conservative Changes - more choice (sounds a bit New Labour)

14:55 Replace with some other sort of monitoring. Outcome recording. semantics.

14:55 1. Scrap Top Down targets - trust professionals.

14:54 Anecdote about marching with junior doctors.

14:53 Claims NHS "morale is so low". He thinks it is because of top down approach.

14:53 Personal anecdotes about the help he's had from NHS workers.

14:52 National Health Service.

14:52 The strongest family package any party has ever put together.

14:51 Flexible working for all. As a right?

14:50 Attack on current system. Says will reward cohabitees and incentivise marriage in tax system.

14:49 LAT - Living Apart Together; anecdote about lost benefit if live together.

14:49 Dave-id is just chugging out stats and feel good vagueness.

14:48 Best welfare organisation of all is called the family.

14:47 Tough on welfare if anyone refuses job. Privatise back to work services. (NB David there already is a lot of private back to work provision)

14:46 After this dodgy stat. Slags off treating people as stats.

14:46 600,000 more people in deep poverty than in 1997? Are you sure?

14:45 Stronger Families etc: this is the Second Point.

14:45 Economy is getting richer, Society is getting poorer says Posh Dave.

14:44 Big fib about 125,000 pensioners being let down.

14:43 Tells anecdote about poor pensioner screwed by failure of private company pension scheme after capitalists went bust. Blames government.

14:42 Big lie about "destruction of pension system".

14:41 Bigs up Osbourne's 60% inaccurate (Channel 4) tax cut speech.

14:40 Where is the third point?

14:40 Headteachers will get complete command of schools. Freedom to exclude kids. No appeals panels. This is worrying tosh now. the Mail will like it.

14:39 ... DC did two days as teacher. Anecdote about some kid.

14:38 Good point re 4-pass exams.

14:37 Tosh about lack of ambition, fear of failure in schools.

14:37 Action on standards Now. Is this second reason?

14:36 Easy entrance for providers to state sector.

14:36 Open up provision to private sector. Think TB and GB have been there also.

14:35 Why are Labour Failing? Three reasons he says.

14:35 Setting by ability. Gosh that's radical. We wouldn't have thought of that.

14:34 Dave-id would like to send his children to Eton.

14:33 Some more stats. This time on Education. Meaningless blether.

14:33 Applause at utterly vague proposition of tax and regulation cuts.

14:32 Brief loss of transmission - two seconds. Just after vague business tax cut "promise".

14:32 Some business stats that need some fact checking Dave Matey.

14:31 Globalised World. Tories sorted that out apparently. Spain 5%, Germany 9%, Sarkozy tax cuts too.

14:30 Abolish Regional Assemblies while we're at it. Big cheer.

14:30 Call for Elected Mayors - way back in no-go cities?

14:29 "Stop Wasting Money on pointless Gimmicks" he suggests.

14:28 Gordon: 1000 People to come up with six words for Gordon.

14:28 Tories will push for, campaign NO in, seek to wreck constitution.

14:27 EU "Constitution" referendum. Clearly going to be a big issue.

14:27 Facebook: DC Hottie and Hate sites (latter being 500% bigger).

14:26 MySpace = 10th Biggest Country in World.

14:26 How do we do these things?

14:25 Ridiculous dog whistle re PCSOs watching boy drowning.

14:24 Extraordinary stream of woolly meaninglessness.

14:23 What does he believe? he is an optimist he says.

14:23 People want the politics of belief.

14:22 Apparently Gordon is going to try to win the next election!

14.21 Dig at EU and small race whistle.

14:21 Silly joke re Gordon's speech.

14:20 Down with lurching! Down with soundbites. Goodness there are lots of them.

14:19 New world, Old politics is failing, Change is required

14:18 Force to be reckoned with in every part of country. NOT Manchester!

14:18 Proud of Sayeeda Warsi - first ethnic woman in cabinet. But hey Dave, she was not elected.

14:17 Tosh about Health Service campaigns.

14:17 10% of MPs women, 33% of candidates.

14:15 Takes credit for freeing East and Central Europe.

14:13 Two video presentations. First had the gathered Tories utterly bemused. Second not much better. Cameron has already broken his promise and admitted he has notes!