Senor Dale's Off to Sunny Spain: Y Viva Espana!

Eco-fighter air miler Iain Dale is off to sunny Spain for a day "to speak to the Fuengirola branch of Conservatives Abroad at a dinner in the evening". He doesn't say whether he's going in Lord "Biggles" Ashcroft's Dassault or not.

But what should he say to the Costa Conservatives?

Well clearly they cannot give or lend his party money any more.That's not on. Clearly they cannot bob back and use the NHS when it suits them when they no longer contribute. They should tune out the Reds from the BBC too in case they turn communist. And clearly the UK is already totally full so they certainly can't come back to live here.

Clearly spending all their UK pensions in Spain is heresy so they must swap immediately to Spanish Terms and Conditions. They must not even think of doing any paid work or running a business. Be fair. Leave that to the Spanish. Possible exception may be made for a new format Dave's just invented: Co-operatives!

And finally there is the Conservative and Unionist Party's principled position on those in Scotland not voting on English matters. So they must NOT under any circumstances try to register to vote in England. That would be preposterous. Principles are at stake here.

Should probably be enough there for half an hour once he slips in a few funnies.
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