Ken Clarke: "He's Back!" Exclaims Iain Dale in Huge Surprise

Iain Dale claims to have confirmation of the least secret secret in the history of secrets. HERE.

I like Ken Clarke a lot. I like Hush Puppies. I like Ronnie Scott's in Soho. And jazz. Nice! And I don't mind fortnightly bins. Which they pioneered very successfully indeed and persist with in Ken's Rushcliffe constituency.

Tories are it seems worried about KC breaking the line on Europe. But he has promised to leave that one alone. What if he took Mixed Up Pickles on on the bins instead?

Ken Clarke became the official starter of a 10k race for a Kenyan Orphans Project and Health Open Day in Rushcliffe back in 2007. Healthy option Patricia Hewitt - who had just faux pas'd - was also supposed to turn up. But she wasn't particularly missed.

Having posed with various athletes and started the race - which Kenyan overstayer Tarus Elly romped - Kenneth was making excuses and sidling towards his car and "away from this public place" as fast as possible.

No, sorry, he couldn't stay to see the finish as he "had to go and pay the paper bill" or the Missus would be up in arms. Before they headed off on a private trip. In fact he was obviously gagging for a smoke.

He realised this Rushcliffe Health Day was not the place to light up.

I took some pleasure in recognising the spot he was in and continuing the conversation and the suggestions that it'd only be another 15 minutes. And so on. And so forth.

And his trip? As it goes: Official duties with BAT In South Africa.

FOOTNOTE: Iain also claims that Oily Duncan has impressed Tory high ups with his lack of tantrums. On being villified. And inevitably displaced. Truth be told Oily couldn't really give a monkeys. His heart and soul is in making dollars in the Oil and Gas Business. Not in parliament. A few hours every other Wednesday. Any good? They are also spinning the absolutely ridiculous "Osborne instigated Clarke recall" nonsense. Next GOO will be demanding to fall on his sword to give Ken another go.

UPDATE Mon 12:38: LabourList appear to have resolved all browser compatability issues but fear there is a big beast compatability issue for Her Majesties Opposition. They also link to the pamphlet Fools Gold (pdf download) which nailed the Tory lies on our supposedly golden inheritance from Ken and John.

UPDATE Mon 12:48: Iain Dale is on slow motion "live" blogging as he covers the comings and goings in the astonishingly low-rent shadow cabinet. Part timers and dilettantes. Spelman tipped out of the Chair by double-chin-where-has-tha-bin Pickles. And me old schooly Chris Grayling to Tebbitify the Home front.