Stalking Horse Play: What's the Worst that Can Happen?

LabourHome are again fomenting febrile doom and gloom.

OK, so Gordon's had an April with a few little niggles here and there. Nothing he cannot bounce back from. International Labour Day tomorrow heralds a new month and a new start. All. Will. Be. Well. Would be conspiracists should stop right now, thank you very much.

Speculation about stalking horses seems to be running a little wild. Rule number one of the Jockeying Club is: Not a big beast. So I'm not sure where the names of Charles Clarke and John Reid are coming from. One commenter even suggests that Reid would batter Cameron. I'd say his fist fighting days are probably over. And JR is planning to stand down. Clarke couldn't be allowed to do it. He might get it into his head that he should actually go ahead and stand for the job. That would never do.

Let's get things into perspective.

A vile spin doctor (VSD) has been found not spinning some vile stuff. Who'd have thunk it? World Post-Smear Champion Guido says the VSD's mate's non-existent blog would have been "too smeary" and "obscene". But we'll never know. But an air-headed Tory MP X has outed themselves and is going round uttering worthless threats.

MPs of all parties are scared constipated and libido-less over their upcoming expenses reveal. And much as they mutter and grouse they wouldn't mind a delay in publication and a delay in change. Another year of the same would be ideal. Cutting this Gordian Knot was well worth a try. Tying up the loose ends will take longer than might be hoped. So what?

And there is an extraordinarily sentimental reaction to some outsourced workers-in-uniform. They're making outrageous demands for improved terms and conditions. Tories are backing them. With weasel words. So expose them.

That's all looking pretty good really now isn't it? Catch yourself on folks. But on the plus side it gets better. And now I'm being serious.

Green shoots of recovery. Bank lending a bit more. House prices recovering. But not too much. Exports amazingly strong. Record profits for Leahy. Existing mortgages fairly cheap. Cost of living flat or reducing. Troops out of Iraq. 50 pence tax.

More schools. More hospitals. More doctors. More nurses. More teachers. Some good green stuff on the way. Public health scare, so far so good.

McBride gone. Draper going. And the coup de grace Prescott getting Battlebus out for a spin at the weekend. Come on! Kick off your shoes? Lay back and relax! What's the worst that can happen? Please see above.