Monday, August 24, 2009

PR Paul Rowen MP: Yes, We Have No Bananas

Those nutty slackers at Rochdale RAW are obsessed! Well done they!

I think it was Aristotle who first noticed the universal truth: "You can't shine a turd". But the PR Paul Rowen "Bananas Lib Dem MP for Rochdale" PR Crew don't get it. They appear to be trying to do just that. Their motto being:

"The mediocre lightweight puffed up self-aggrandising hot air machine Paul Rowen MP may be Mad, Bad and Dangerous to know (or not) ... but he ain't bananas and don't you dare say he is bananas!"

Now these would be turd polishers have also begun a deflection campaign involving traditional eve of Ramadan Santas, reindeer, puddings and crackers being strung up from the lamp posts of Pennine Rochdale.

This Lib Dem conspiracy is surely aimed at making bananas Rowen's banana denial fixation - demanding a seven paragraph admission/refutation with menaces and extortion, and the ejaculating of all manner of barnpot legal letters - seem "Normal For Rochdale".

Well, it's not Paul, it's not even normal for Narnia. Stop taking the piss out of Rochdale. Rather than wanting to be a throwback to the great depression for ever and a day Rochdale people deserve some respect and some leadership and action. They face the highest unemployment in the land and some of the worst council services in the region. Not to mention asbestos. Not to mention sleaze. Stop feeding your face and buttering up the organs of the town. Pull your finger out! Or resign in disgrace.

You are a fucking clown Paul Rowen. Lacking only: a sense of humour, a sense of pathos, any physical presence, any comedic timing, or even a dratted custard pie. Yes we have one banana. A knob of butter. A scone. A filthy little Maccy D burger. And a shiny red nose and big fuck off in-your-face feet. But no-one in Rochdale's ROFLing at your low rent antics.

Ringmaster Hennigan is a fucking clown also. And the rest of them are fucking clowns too. A troupe of fucking clowns paid by the taxpayer and by the council taxpayer.

The only question for the Rochdale Labour people is whether they ought to fight fire with fire and start competing with Bananas Paul for the pratfall applause and the longed for belly laugh.

Does unremittingly negative name recognition - even for being the idiot MP who once indisputably bought a banana for 40p and later spent months trying to make this FACT go away - create a negative incumbency? Or is it a case of all news is good news for this wretch?


Anonymous said...

Paul Rowen's head is so far up his own arse he can't see any of the catastrophic problems facing Rochdale. He's more worried about having to cook beans on toast on his bloody camp stove because of a power cut.

Ah diddums

A total waste of space

Rochdale Rapper said...

Mr Rowen has a lot more to worry about than "demanding action" to avoid cold baked beans.

There are lots of unresolved matters and serious allegations relating to:

Cyril Smith and Cambridge House lad's hostel in the 1960's

Serious sex abuse covered up at Knowl View Special School in the 1970's

Why a police squad car was used to drive from Rochdale to Middleton and back to deliver a lettuce in order to save the prawn cocktail buffet at a Sunday service in the 1970's at Cyril's local Unitarian church. The sermon was delivered by House of Commons Speaker George Thomas. The lesson was read by Greater Manchester Chief Constable James Anderton. Cyril and his mum scoffed the fishy dish with their friends in high places.

and then there are all the unresolved questions about spin, civic mismanagement and corruption involving local businessmen and certain politicians scratching each others backs.

With all that is festering just under the surface, defending the claiming of 40p bananas -funded by the taxpayer- should be a low priority for Mr Rowen.

RAW's Lawyers said...

on behalf of our clients we hereby demand you desist from refering to our clients as "Nutty Slack". Such nomenclature has a variety of plain and ordinary meanings which are defamatory.

"Nutty"- as in containing nuts and/or pertaining to nuts. Our female clients within the RAW Collective are appalled at such sexist gender stereotyping.

"Nutty" as in male gonads. Our male RAW clients do not wish to have their testicles tampered with thank you very much. That involves squeezing as a form of pseudo medical examination by overwieght councillors involved for several decades with Rochdale Council education and youth services before becoming the town's MP.

"Nutty" as in 'insane', unbelievable', or 'ridiculous'. Our clients maintain that they are not and will scream and scream and scream until you stop saying such things.

"nutty slack" as in a cheap, smokey form of fossil fuel that is highly polluting and a major source of carbon dioxide, smoke, mirrors and stink for very little calorific value.

"Slack" as in lazy. Our clients are not lazy. They are hard working and are worth every penny they do not claim.

"slack" as in not tight. Every aspect of our clients are tight.

If you persist in defaming our clients then we will have no choice but to threaten to sue your sweet cheeks but then drop the threats and fall apart with members of our clients team: 1. going off to work for the London Assembly or anywhere else that will have him, 2. going off into the sunset in a caravan, 3. doing a bit of DJ work whilst enjoying a few sherberts and kebabs, 4. helping promote Greg Couzens as the next Leader of Rochdale Council.

RAW - Rochdale's Alternative Website said...

It appears the above comment supposedly from our lawyers in said in jest.

legal action indeed.

Sticks and stones?

We would be one banana short of a bunch to threaten an expensive defamation suit against the everyday cut, thrust and fair comment of Rochdale politics.

We leave that sort of cock posturing to beer soaked sanctimonious lickspittles, popinjays and ne'er do wells who may have the luxury of gambling with a sleezy war chest partly derived from taxpayers' money...and undeclared cash donations from certain local businessmen who appear to get miraculous returns for their local speculations.

eyeball said...

does that include Cllr Greg Couzens?

he is working billio on an open charm offensive (and hidden smear offensive) to take Alan Taylor's job as Leader of Rochdale Council.

and he is opening criticising the past performance of Sir Cyril Smith and Paul Rowen MP.

is this yet another Lib Dem man for all seasons?

benchilltory said...

saw mr Brown on the tv tonight.he looks well following his bottox

Anonymous said...

Paul Rowen is in the Daily Mirror today. Kevin Maguire includes him in his points of disorder when summing up the monkey business in Rochdale.

Rowen is making Rochdale a laughing stock.

Chris Paul said...

Yes indeed. When you say "Greg" Couzens do you perchance mean Gregory Couzens? The Teasy Weazy of the Pennines? Methinks he may be after Rowen's muppety mop head and not just Centrefold AT's thinning brillo pad? Over that rascal Hennigan's dead body probably.