Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Gordon Brown: That Liverpool "Cuts" Speech in Full


Comrades, Colleagues, Sisters, Brothers

Here is that Cuts news in full. One dozen CUTS we have already achieved, and a FISTFUL more we will ASPIRE to. Yes! Comrades, Colleagues, Sisters, Brothers (repeat ad lib throughout speech) we WILL not shy away from CUTS in privilege, poverty and inequality and INVESTMENT in fairness, a common wealth and justice for all:

  • Labour, working with and for the workers, have CUT waiting lists by INVESTMENT in facilities, doctors, nurses, clinical staff, ancillary staff to such an extent that patients are now whinging at being "rushed into" life changing operations;
  • Labour, working with and for the workers, have CUT the supply of decrepit Hospital buildings by INVESTMENT into 100s of new Main Hospitals, Community Hospitals, Poly-Clinics and Surgeries;
  • Labour, working with and for the workers, have CUT the number of shoddy school sites and buildings through our INVESTMENT in 100s of new Schools;
  • Labour, working with and for the workers, have CUT inadequate and failing schools by INVESTMENT in more vocational staff, an innovative Teach First scheme, and a School Leaders programme, resulting in twelve straight years of year on year improvements;
  • Labour, working with and for the workers, have CUT the privilege and advantage of those with more money than sense, with INVESTMENT making almost every school a good school and the independent sector "offer" a case of money for old rope;
  • Labour, working with and for the workers, have CUT the health and safety nightmare and profits before people nonsense of the privatised rail with INVESTMENT beginning to catch up with four decades of running down the trains;
  • Labour, working with and for the workers, have CUT the cost of overseas travel for our Sporting Heroes with INVESTMENT in winning dozens of World Class events - Olympics, World Championships, Two Commonwealth Games, World Cups - bringing regeneration, energy and pride to Britain;
  • Labour, working with and for the workers, have CUT the levels of Crime and Disorder of all types through INVESTMENT in record numbers of police and other crime fighters, replacement police stations and headquarters, and proactive intelligence led approaches to terrorism, drugs, illegal immigration and organised crime;
  • Labour, working with and for the workers, have CUT the growth in greenhouse gases and the national carbon footprint, through INVESTMENT in technology and bold commitment to raising awareness and individual and community recycling, energy saving and thinking sustainable;
  • Labour, working with and for the workers, have CUT absolute poverty both in Britain and in the developing world through INVESTMENT in targeted benefits at home and wise interventions globally;
  • Labour, working with and for the workers, have CUT absolute rubbing-your-noses-in-it INHERITED WEALTH by resisting Conservative plans to cut taxes for those few who own Millions and by INVESTMENT in leveling the playing surfaces of our society;
  • Labour, working with and for the workers, have CUT the risk taking shenanigans of the Casino Banking sector and INVESTMENT in the restoration of value in housing and retail banking.


  • And that's not all! Here are some more CUTS to look forward to:

  • Labour, working with and for the workers, will CUT the estimated annual £30 Billion of tax avoidances that still remain in our system through INVESTMENT in improved systems and a determined approach to CUTTING the fat of the land;
  • Labour, working with and for the workers, will CUT the abuse of power and privilege to buy control over the economy and political process by stopping overseas based tax-avoiders interfering in our political process;
  • Labour, working with and for the workers, will CUT the hereditory advantage in Education and Professional advancement through INVESTMENT in the historically disadvantaged and ADVANCEMENT of Equality of Opportunity and through this Outcomes;
  • Labour, working with and for the workers, will CUT the INVESTMENT at this time in over-specified universal iD Cards and the Trident deterrent and SEEK to deter violence and promote peace by peaceful means, not clumsily branded Wars on XY and Z;
  • Labour, working with and for the workers, will CUT the crooked smiles of the faces of the grasping Tory hordes, by INVESTMENT of every sinew into winning a FOURTH TERM for the workers' party.

    The people's Gordon is deepest RED!
    Onwards and upwards Comrades etc!
    Let's be having these Tories CUT and on the run!

  • 4 comments:

    The Lakelander said...

    Chris,

    You should have written the speech for him - yours is more entertaining!

    Now that Gordon has finally spoken about "the elephant in the room" that is CUTS, when can we look forward to hearing him talk about all the other subjects he avoids mentioning?

    Dick the Prick said...

    Reminds me of a song - Nelly the elephant packed her trunk and lied disgracefully for 12 years err...

    Guido Fawkes said...

    Haven't cut government debt or 2 1/2 million long unemployment queue.

    Unemployment always goes up under Labour.

    Looking forward to the forthcoming biggest Labour cut, the huge cut in Labour MPs.

    benchilltory said...

    9.3% cuts in departmental spending.
    that man Brown lied.

    large numbers of 5 year olds turning up at school not toilet trained.

    social mobility worse than ever.

    millions of people without any hope of improvement only a lifetime of dependency.

    and you expect the voters to let you have another 5 years