Nadine Dorries MP: Uses Mad Bloggers to Serve Mad Writs

According to their own reports Guido Fawkes and Tory Bear have acted as avenging angels, serving the raving mythomaniac Nadine Dorries MP's mad mad mad writs on respectively (a) a broken former spin doctor who once uttered, or some say repeated from the established goss and outre unrepeatables of the lobby, some daft trash talk about madame in private email to some drinking buds and (b) the recent birther Kate Garraway, wifey of one of the fistful of co-conspirators who received said private email.

Beyond this fistful of jostling mates we have no knowledge of identified or named further recipients - apart from Paul Staines aka the blogger Guido Fawkes, and a presumed intermediary or so. And, as far as LOL can tell, no-one apart from Nadine Dorries MP herself actually even named her as having been included in this round-robin of nonsense. She outed herself and has been dining out on this stuff, between expenses tantrums and abortion lies, ever since.

On the face of it LOL don't think she is going to have much of a case here. She hasn't been damaged by this affair as far as we can see. Indeed, arguably, it has helped protect her from deeper and wider scrutiny over allowances claims that appear to take lots and lots of rent and other exes for a "second home" when Ms Dorries is unable to make much of a case for having another home at all. Never mind a "main home".

The use of two pantomime dames - "ugly sisters" would be to stretch things too far perhaps - to deliver these legal instruments is surely not going to help this flimsy negligee of a case progress. A tissue of ... tissues. We all fall down.

With Mr Dale away chatting fart in Armenia LOL are left wondering which other overweight and overwrought right-wing blogger will be employed to present Gordon Brown himself with the writ that he has been promised, all these months? And will Tom Watson MP get one too?

In the absence of any credible choice from that pool of fraternal fatheads LOL would recommend that Nadine looks further afield ... and gives that nice General "laughing boy" Gaddafi a ring. Hat tip: Tim Montgomerie, by twitter.

FOOTNOTE: We'd like to wish Bon Voyage to Nadine's eldest. She is turning her back on the unfeasible and overpaid job heading up mum's parliamentary office - properly declared though completely and utterly unblogged. And she is heading off to warmer and less nepotistical climes.

Her mum and dad will be relieved that Pippa Storm doesn't already have a broken marriage behind her, as Nads did at her age, still less with experience as an underqualified trolley dolly and a hardly trained slopping out nurse, something Nads continues to trade on and exaggerate to this day.

But they may nonetheless be a little anxious that she won't in effect elope, as they did, and ring home to say she's married within days of arriving in the Southern Hemisphere. The bookies are still sharpening their pencils on what odds to offer that unemployed graduate middle daughter - who has interned before - will get big sis's job in mum's office.

Nadine Dorries MP has a back story filled with fibs and cover ups. Her allowances DEMAND proper scrutiny and being as the invigilator is going alphabetically and has 90% of MPs GUILTY of some breach or other her runnings are presumably already looked at and found in the 90% irregular? Surely launching pantomine writs via figures of fun at this juncture, having received all manner of apologies and retractions, not to mention acres of news coverage, can only burst Nadine's bubble?

The only thing that could make things worse for her would be to find that hothead sheeshhead Donal Blaney were involved in some way in her "legal team".

UPDATE Thu 12:27: Although Guido himself used the word "writ" in his (hurriedly deleted but not lost to posterity) tweet these were in fact just letters ahead of action. They rarely lead to anything. Would be marvellous if one of the accused would shove these things or at least the more hilarious stanzas and the composer's name into the public domain. Lots more, including from LOL, at Liberal Conspiracy.

Paean to the Polaroid: Gordon Brown Looks Brilliant

Polaroids have been in and out of my life properly for more than a quarter of a century, and before that for ten more years in very occasional extended friends and family use. A wonder. A miracle. An instant photograph but an object. Magic that defied imaginations as much as the original magic lantern, the Television, Chad Valley super-8, the properly mobile 'phone, Skype video conferencing, or the digital camera have done as they arrived and settled in to our lives.

Polaroid photography would have been a boon during Chris Paul - The Science Years but a chunky and unbreakable Carl Zeiss fronted Praktika SLR and pongy darkrooms followed a largely Instamatic youth. But Chris Paul - The City Life Years, and The Rock and Roll Years that followed certainly saw Polaroids everywhere.

Our City Life snapper Kevin Cummins had special Polaroid backs I believe for both his SLR and large format cameras. The materials got cheaper in a last flush, bringing more use at home. Much much later the kids had a miniature version of the technology - an equivalent of the Chad Valley video camera I suppose - generating instant postage stamp sized images. If I've time I'll see what I can find in the vaults.

Anyways, I'm loving the Observer Art and Design celebration of the passing of the use by date of the last Polaroid stock in the world. Gordon Brown looks great in Rankin's set. And I'm quoting Rankin's caption in full below.

Gordon seems to have turned a corner on those Churchillian Black Dog rain clouds. Which is good. Good for Britain. Seeing as the Tory gentle Dr Jekylls are turning misanthropic Hyde before our very eyes. Mr Brown will need all the resilience and good humour he can muster to steer Labour to yet another historic etc etc.

People in Salford for example may not have enjoyed the ridiculous bejewelled melodrama and conspicuous un-consumption of those cheque waving days of summer but it may be that a not so dour Scot reminding them of the pickets' braziers outside Agecroft Colliery and the dark satanic reality of Tory-dom will work wonders for his pal Hazel's rehabilitation. Thatcher and Lamont and Tebbit all but destroyed life for the many (not the few) in this country.

We must remember this.

Rankin: Since launching style magazine Dazed and Confused with Jefferson Hack in 1991, Rankin has become a globally successful photographer, publisher and film director. 'With Polaroids it's like I can see someone between the shots – in this case Gordon Brown is friendly, then intense, then relaxed. We had a chat before starting; he was easygoing and natural. The shot of him on the chair, for instance, I could have made him look bad, but he didn't seem to care. He had no vanity whatsoever. He had a great way about him and a great smile, which is not what you're led to believe from the press and most photographs. Polaroids are kind of soft. They're a record of a certain moment which you can't take back or wipe out like digital. You find you get something brilliant by accident, they're a laugh in a way that digital photographs aren't. I used Polaroid as a test on fashion shoots until two years ago. I loved the format, but there's no use for it any more, sadly.'
Photograph: © Rankin

Michael Moore: Capitalism: A Love Story Opens in Venice

This Is It! World Premiere of 'Capitalism: A Love Story' Tonight ...a message from Michael Moore

Sunday, September 6th, 2009

Friends,

Well, this is it!

Tonight, at the Venice Film Festival, I will premiere my new movie, "Capitalism: A Love Story." After 16 months of production, I am proud to present this work of mine to you. It is unlike anything you'll see on the silver screen this year.

Twenty years ago this week I premiered my first film, "Roger & Me." Tonight, my new film will premiere at the oldest film festival in the world, the Venice Film Festival in Venice, Italy. It is an incredible honor they've bestowed on us, and we feel very privileged to be able to present "Capitalism: A Love Story" tonight in Venice.

The director of the festival said that our movie was "incredibly symphonic" and that he was moved by its epic nature. Jeez, these Italians! Everything's an opera to them!

But seriously, I do believe we've made something that will knock your socks off. I showed it to a friend of mine last week and he said, "It's your most dangerous film yet." (But I assure you, you'll be completely safe watching it in your local theater.)

I've kept a pretty tight lid on what we've been up to while making this movie and you're about to see exactly what that means. It isn't easy, in the age of YouTube and the internet, to keep something like this under wraps, but we've pulled it off and I can't wait to show you this latest effort of mine.

So wish us well tonight. We'll be home soon to open the movie all across the country (September 23rd in New York and L.A., October 2nd everywhere else).

I'll leave you with a quote from Thomas Jefferson: "Banking establishments are more dangerous than standing armies."

Yours,
Michael Moore
MMFlint@aol.com
http://www.michaelmoore.com/

Nominations Open: Who Do You Think You're Kidding Mr Griffin?

So, rather inevitably, with two MEPs in the bag the BNP are reputedly invited to put one of them on the platform at BBC Question Time, report Times Online. Quite a flurry, and a divided flurry at that, from Labour tweeters. With some twaddle from the odd Tory.

Some debate too in Parliamentary Labour circles about sharing a platform with the horribly damaged hate merchant Nick Griffin. Personally I would take the decision away from the PLP wheedlers and take the law into our own hands.

I'd stick four sharp comedians or entertainers on there with Der Furore - possibly armed with custard pies, sharp sticks and/or green goo. But certainly with the means to ridicule His Nastiness.

Billy Bragg? Jo Brand? Meera Syal? Lenny Henry? Lee Herring? Stephen Fry? Rabbi Julia perhaps? To stray a little outside Equity ranks. Certainly NOT Polly or Yasmin. Serious ridicule is what that man needs. Make him see the funny side of his lifelong mistake. Tories like his dad are barking wrong, of course they are, but Going Nazi is not the answer. If you think it is you're asking the wrong question.

Wipe the smug scowl of Nasty Nick's contorted visage. And see the poop from his addled mind, spilled out, pulled to bits, plain for all to see. Can this man-child be made to beam with bonafide warmth and contentment towards the world of colourful diversity on his doorstep?

That will make the tabloids, the humouroids and the broadsheets the next day. Whereas Alan Duncan and Lynne Featherstone and Geoff the Hoon, let's say, giving him ear ache and what for ain't going to cut the mustard.

Who would you send in to nail Nick Griffin? Category A: Politicians; Category B: Freestyle; Category C: International; Category D: All Time. And Category E: who would you pray that the BBC super-libs don't invite to the party party?

Nominations in comments please. And do tell your friends. Inward links and tweets very welcome.

Saturday Afternoon Muse: How To Distinguish Tweet From Tw*t?

Sometimes when someone does something which on the face of it seems very naive though ostensibly kind-hearted it may strike observers that they are in fact doing something devious and mean. I hope not in the most recent case observed.

UPDATE 22:38: The wretched newbie tweeter has not removed silly tweet. And the story has yet to gain critical mass. Result? Or vile nonsense postponed?

The Hopi Sen Conundrum: Bananas, Homicide, Rochdale

Hopi Sen has posted two "hockey stick" graphs and asked readers to speculate on what they plot right here. The scale on the lower one starts at 1692 and that'll make the whole puzzle take a few extra hundredths of a nanosecond to solve. Please no copying my answer:

The lower one is clearly the consumption of bananas and other tropical fruit in the UK. The upper one is the number of murders per year in (a) Baltimore and spookily (b) Midsomer, Cabot Cove and every other fictional rural murder location in popular fiction. The only possible conclusions:
Bananas cause psychotic violence.
(Also for Rochdale only: PR Paul “bananas” Rowen can’t win here).

FOOTNOTE 15:00: Hopi's answers. Top worker wages (real terms), and public spending.

Butty Slackers at Rochdale RAW: Questions, Questions, Questions

Those nutty slackers over at Rochdale RAW are on crackling form with their standard pre-Christmas fare of stuffing, turkey and sprouts. They're full of innuendo those nutty boys, they really are. Though even PR Paul "Sue Me Own Shadow" Rowen MP probably wouldn't take these loons on on in court.

Presumably though we'll see him in court soon chastising, lambasting and impoverishing the colloquially "crackers" Rochdale Labour flier writers who have had the temerity to question his ample allowances claims, to comment on the MP gravy train, to opine that in colloquial terms only Mr Rowen was "bananas" making such a fuss over being bang to rights paying for a banana for some lucky lad's lunchbox. That must be up soon?

Just out of interest I've put a first XI of questions to the red RAW boys and their clinically "bonkers" readership :

1. How did Paul Rowen come to be a paid Director and shareholder of Corinya (Uganda) Limited?

2. Other Directors include a chap from Kenya, where PR Paul has it seems recently completed a busman's holiday scrubbing orphanage outhouse toilets or something of that ilk, and Directors of Corinya Limited / Corinya Holdings (like snapper Hans Peter pictured on the job) which is highly active in Rochdale and the NW. What is his relationship now and in the past with these people and their property company?

3. How did Corinya limited come to be the landlords for a substantial council office, and is it true that this was during PR Paul's tenure as Leader, Senior Councillor and/or MP? Are there any other fiscal relationships with RMBC?

4. What exactly is Corinya (UG) Limited's relationship with the Suubi Orphanage near Entebbe in Uganda? And what about the Directors and Rochdaleans of Corinya Limited back in the constituency?

5. Who are the Directors and shareholders now and in the past near and distant of the Rochdale Reform Buildings Limited which appears to be the landlord of (a) Rochdale Lib Dems (b) Rochdale Labour Group (c) Paul Rowen MP (d) Their own world HQ (e) Commercial tenants?

6. How did this organisation come into being and come to own its past and present holdings?

7. Who or what are the Cobden Bright Trust which appears to be an unincorporated, unregistered, non-charity, un publically audited, unaccountable organisation and which has given money to Rochdale's Lib Dems?

8. What was the full history of Sir Cyril Smith MBE's share holding in the Turner Companies?

9. Out or purely prurient interest, were Paul Rowen MP and the convicted child rapist and killer Ronald Castree - saved from earlier conviction by inept/corrupt police, by an inept barrister the former Tory Home Secretary and asbestos apologist David Waddington, and by "hurry up" "string him up" messages from Sir Cyril - in any contact as fellow and approximately contemporary Liberal children and young members of the borough?

10. What other business interests, Directorships, shareholdings, property etc is in the name of Sir Cyril Smith MBE, his family and his associates?

11. Why won't Rochdale MBC now answer straightforward FOIA requests related to the Knowl View SEN Children's Home, famous through it's associated paedophile and intra-mural child sex activity, through its association with procurement of boys for the Smith Street "Cottage" and rough trade, through its continued poor performance and eventual inflagration? We're only asking how many staff were put on gardening leave and for how long, and who was on the various committees involved. We've had some tip offs is all.

In the dugout:

12. Why are Rochdale Lib Dems not submitting annual accounts when their tithe on their Council group alone appears to generate amounts well in excess of the threshold?

You can answer over there and/or here if you know what's what in the murky underworld of Rochdale Libdemology - below there's the game Mr Rowen using part of his taxpayer slush fund hoarding to er, pay for a useless hoarding - and not to forget false idol Cyril Worship.



UPDATE Sat 11:30: Switched points 9 and 10 to make copy flow better in Firefox.

Archbishop is Complete Tweet: Employs Delectable Kerron

Report the Telegraph with some sinning on the facts, and more gracefully Ruth Gledhill, Murdoch's "god" (and "prophet"?) correspondent at the Times. And there's a blessed facebook group to boot. As you'll see from the reports Archbishop Sentamu, who raised some eye brows with shameless campery in the nave, advertised the post on his Twitter feed, right here. The Blessed Cross can also be followed ... though his Blessed Blog is no more.

TRIVIA: As one of the flock of "best men" - the lasso mangler if you know the drill - for my mate Barry and Marilyn's wedding in Manila a few years ago 'twas amusing to learn that not only did the church have Cardinal Sin as its Principal, but our celebrant was one Fr Rusty Cruz, no relation. Gerblogged before.

Childish Cameron: Hostages to Fortune, Prisoner of Conscience

LOL covered the lame "Afghanistan Spoiler" story a couple of days ago HERE. Iain Dale wrote the following. Note that he starts by saying he has no idea about the facts, yet ends with childish name-calling:

The Timing of Gordon's Trip to Afghanistan
Iain Dale 3:04 PM

I have no idea whether the timing of Gordon Brown's trip to Afghanistan was deliberately planned to scupper David Cameron's visit, which had been in diary for weeks if not months. I'd like to think not. But doesn't the fact that both the media and many Labour supporters think it was, tell you an awful lot about how people feel he has debased our politics?

The trip to Iraq during the 2007 Conservative conference is still etched in people's memories. I find it difficult to believe that the misjudgement (to call it at its kindest) could be deliberately repeated, but with this crew, you can never tell. They're that nasty, and that stupid.

We think Cameron and Coulson who had no need to bail out and only a lame excuse will now re-schedule for a moment with the greatest impact they can muster. During Labour's conference perhaps? Watch this space.

Last night Iain posted using the "A" word, "Appeasement", properly applied to those damnable Tories and their pathetic Hitler-excusing attitudes of 1938 and 1939 of which there is a topical anniversary, but here shrill-ly (sp?) in relation to the Al Megrahi release.

Whatever people may think of the SNP/Judicial decision - under scottish law's "compassion" provisions - to return this dying man to his family in Libya the conflation or inflation of the idea of not wanting him to die in jail to not wanting him to die in Britain, as one of the mid-market tabs has it, is more very probably Tory-inspired churnalism.

"Not in jail" and "not in Britain" are quite different. Surely not even the cuddly new Tories would expect this man to die in a jail cell? They'd let him transfer to hospital wouldn't they? Allow his family to visit him? Perhaps have them together in a hospice situation? Indeed I believe there were costed plans for a Glasgow option at a cost to taxpayers somewhere of £100,000 per week.

All these are "not in jail" are they not?

Seems to me that Tories in general and David Cameron in particular are losing it over these Foreign Policy and legal matters. Cameron's attacks seem to say "I'm a toddler, and an opportunistic toddler at that, when it comes to this big, difficult stuff." More on this later perhaps. Meanwhile suffice to say that he's leaving hostages to fortune and prisoners of conscience everywhere.

OMG! Nick Clegg is now joining in. On Sky News conflating "not in jail" with "not in Britain" and apparently backing the nicely liberal "die in jail" line. Got he's an opportunistic scumbag! He's gone from praising Alex Salmond for taking the flak for a difficult decision to saying he's out of his depth. Clogg is now accepting a Sky invitation in a live interview with news heavyweight Eamon Holmes ...


FOOTNOTE: And the heavy-rotation Sky pitch for a televised leadership debate? Here pimped by Adam Boulton hisself. Yeuch! If it happens - and we know Mandy has indicated proxy PM enthusiasm for the concept - surely BBC Television, Radio and Online would be a better platform than Sky plus the rather unlikely prospect of 300 commercial radio stations carrying it through IRN? The prospect is, how you say, "Chilling".