Saturday, September 27, 2008

Conservative Conference: Dave Lays It On a Bit THICK

'Twas a couple or three weeks ago I think that Iain Dale jeered at the fact that both Nick Clegg and Gordon Brown had begun referring to the Conservatives as "David Cameron's Conservatives". This, said Iain, was foolish as it laboured the Conservatives' biggest selling point. That Golden Boy of theirs.

Well Iain, I said, could it be that there is to be some fairly toxic news about Mr Cameron in pipeline over the coming weeks? Just perhaps?

It's started*. Some of his and the would be Chancellor George Osborne's hedgie mates have it seems been pretty prominent in the repugnant "taking the piss" betting on bedlam. And on screwing important businesses and markets. Just for fun. Just for excess profits. Just to rip the tax payer.

Destroying companies employing hundreds of thousands, nay millions of workers. Destroying companies husbanding the savings of millions of citizens. Destroying companies holding the mortgages too of millions. Destroying companies whose "blue chip" shares feature in the portfolios of many pension funds.

In fact that slag Cameron was to be found to have been partying on £70,000 a week yachts with various of these characters as they planned their next attack. Possibly Blackberried it in, or should that be Raspberried? In Turkey, in luxury. After that half-arsed affectation of a bucket and spade holiday in Rock.

But, I don't know, my sense is that there is worse poison to come this week. Whatever entertainment the Thesp Known as D Cameron may provide this week in Birmingham I'd say the fundamentals of his Conservative Party may well be shot. By events dear boy events.

INCIDENTALLY: Does anyone have a v-tape of D and S Cameron arriving at the Bull*ring? Back in the day many of the musicians I managed were also TV walk on artists, even significant bit-parters, on Corrie, Brookie and the like.

The Directors' worst fear was that these folk would big up their part. Making up energetic but inaudible and un-lipreadable conversations. Trying to get audible and get double money for "having a line". Gesticulating. Going the extra mile.

Cut! Cut! Cut! Said those Directors.

But as ever Cam has stage managed a walk up. Not quite as bad as the ridiculous walk up one side of the street followed by U-turn that he's done before. All captured on film and used in the bulletins! He has gibbered and jabbered nonsense to the long suffering Sam. And he has stuck in assertive hand gestures, more Gordon Gecko than happy families. Over-acting in spades; in other words.

TRIVIA: Almost 30 years ago the idea of appearing in Chariots of Fire for pay was pretty attractive. Off to the Bebbington Oval I went. Two feet were lopped off my barnet. And a starring role in the Steeplechase at the 1924 Olympics was mine.

Brit Aubrey fell at the last water jump. But he got up and snatched bronze. What a hero. But my mate 'Spider', from Crewe and Alsager, and myself played the flying Finns who took Gold and Silver.

We were alas (mostly) left on the cutting room floor. Apart perhaps in the Scandanavian Cut! And I'd guess this was quite likely over an excessive amount of "acting" from the bit-parters.

David Cameron is involved in a great pantomime. He is King Rat, not Principal Boy. He hasn't got the legs for that. In the end he will be booed off, stage right.

* TRIVIA: The last time I heard the "it's started" line - referring to quite a debacle - was as my natural born sight hounds refused to play the chase the plastic bag faux coursing game at Tatton Country Fair. When the first of my three hounds step over the start line and tried to get his racing muzzle off the game was up. My other two and various other pet long dogs would be shaming their owners soon. "It's started" indeed.

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