Guido: Liverpool Being Taken to the Cleaners by Libs?

The disastrous Lib Dem regime in Liverpool is hosting the Libs' Spring Conference. Guido spots some money laundering on behalf of an Exec Member and PPC for Liverpool Wavertree.

Lady Thatcher You Can't Match Her: The Darling of Us All

Kirsty Wark ended Newsnight tonight by reporting that Lady T has been rushed to hospital for "precautionary tests".

BBC Online has a little more.

POSTSCRIPT: Guido had a timely caption competition this afternoon.

Black Questions: Sauce for the Goose and for the Gander

Extraordinary. Iain Dale is whining. That's not extraordinary. But it is when it is about a new telly show called Any Black Questions (facebook group). Iain seems to be saying he finds this offensive. He has inferred that all the panellists are black. Which may be correct.

But then 100% of the last Question Time panel were white. And 80% male. Farage was a monster raving looney too. And that's not unusual. The BBC have of course just kicked off a season named White.

What is Iain on about? The norm on politics shows is a spectacular white male dominance. If nothing else this show gives some panellists the chance to learn the ropes and transfer with confidence to the mainstream. What's wrong with that?

Manchester: Teenage Pregnancy Implementation Manager

Just a taste of this Shoots and Leaves moment. Or the full advert banged up here, deadline is Monday. Hat tip: Newmania.

Guido Fawkes: Worried About the Integrity of Tax Return

Tax-exile, hedgie, charity commission investigatee, and reactionary loud mouth Paul Staines aka Guido Fawkes aka Mr GuF is worried about the integrity of his tax return. And that it could fall into enemy hands. Fat chance when there isn't one! Same presumably goes for Lord Ashcroft who is yet to make good on the promises that were the crux of his case for ennoblement.

Of course the William Hague supported Lord Shark is now doing Tory porridge as robber press baron. While Lord Cashcroft, also supported by Mr Hague, polishes his gross of Victoria Crosses. Awarded for the sort of courage and patriotism in conflict which Lord Mick has never himself shown.

Speaking of conflict GuF seems to have forgotten the stalwart peace-making duties of Prezza during the Brown-Blair years. After that Armenia ought to be a complete doddle. Should win by a KO in the first.

Iain Dale: From Cheers to Jeers in 9.5 Hours

LOL asked the question here. Iain Dale provided the expected answer here.
Lib Dems are heroes for defying the strange whims of Mr Whippy Clogg. But Ken Clarke is a Zero for honouring his personal commitment to Europe and his clear understanding that Lisbon is a side show. The wit of Dale's topsy turvy world.

Cllr Leech MP: "Clogg For Leader" Champ as Backstabber

When it is Council Day in Manchester and PMQs and such in Westminster the likes of Cllr John Leech have a problem. Where should they take their seat for scowling and nodding off? In the house? Or in the chamber? This time the councillor for Chorlton Park, who has recently owned up that he'll be keeping his word and giving way to Mrs Nepotismi, chose Westminster. Hurrah!

Then, according to Iain Dale's list he made a career move to die for, defying a 3-line whip requiring abstention. With approximately the 63rd least desired job in the team - responsible for leaves on roads and pavement bobbles - it's hard to see how chump Clogg will discipline him.

Iain's list goes thusly:

Brooke, Annette
Carmichael, Mr. Alistair
Farron, Tim
George, Andrew
Gidley, Sandra
Hancock, Mr. Mike
Heath, Mr. David
Hemming, John
Holmes, Paul
Horwood, Martin
Leech, John
Mulholland, Greg
Pugh, Dr. John
Williams, Mark
Younger-Ross, Mr. Richard

Fifteeen. Though two of them are imposters. Can you spot them*? I wonder how these cross check these folk with the Huhnies?? Leech of course supported Clegg when claiming to be 100% behind Kennedy, Huhne when Clegg cried off, and then Clegg in the latest musical leaders.

Iain will no doubt continue to support breaking a party whip in this kind of way as "the right thing" when it is Tories doing it?

LOL tend to when it is Left Labour and Centre Left MPs doing it - for example against the war - but I'd be furious if right wingers were serially voting down progressive bills. So I do understand the importance of discipline. And do continue to expect the comrades to rebel sparingly.

* DOH UPDATE: Iain Dale edited his list to remove Colin Burgon (Labour) and Gregory Campbell (DUP) while also adding a couple more Fibs. I fell for it. Sorry.

Sky News Graphics: Before and After Pics for Farron

Looks like Tim Farron (before, fresh faced) plus two alternative futures. One if he adopts beard and sandals, the other if he goes for the old forked tongue and pock marked modernity. Ghastly prospects both.

Former Tory Chair: NO to "Norris to Boris" Downgrade

Lib Dems celebrate defection of London Conservatives high up Dirk Hazell who despairs at "the Norris to Boris downgrade". Addled when it comes to remarks on Labour. But far from ga-ga when dissing Boris "Watermelon Smile" Johnson. Looks like Paddick did consider standing as a Tory (penultimate question) but baulked despite Winston. In respect for Mum's feelings.

BBC Pro-Cam Bias: Dawn Butler MP as Dale Squeals Foul

If you're going to criticize Cam's Conservatives on Iain Dale's watch you'd better don a hard hat. Iain Dale points up the BBC's obvious pro-Cameron bias. As raised by the famous Dawn Butler MP. Mr Dale fibs manfully that he's never heard of her. Apart presumably from these three recent references from the BBC-outed Tory Boy Blogger, e.g. slamming Boris "Picanniny" Johnson.

Cash on the Nail: How the Tories Treat Inner Cities

"You couldn’t make it up" concludes Cllr Iain Lindley in a rather petty, rather inaccurate, rather made up, attack on Salford MP and CLG Minister Hazel Blears. Our thrusting Salford Tory draws attention to a rather petty Sam Coates piece on Red Box. This concludes with an inaccurate spiel:

Hazel, in particular, related a frankly rather unpleasant tale of how she ambushed Daid Cameron at Salford "Lad's Club". He was there to get an autograph from members of The Smiths, who were performing. So the Communities Secretary organised an ambush mob with signs saying "Oi Dave - Eton's Lads' Club is 300 miles that way" and "Salford Lads not Eton snobs". He was forced out the back door and went home without an autograph.
And that night I sent him a photo of me outside Salford's Lads' Club, with greetings from Salford!
Charming...

What do the words "ambush mob" conjure up? Something rather like the running clashes of the Battle of Trimdon Green in the Sedgefield By-election? In fact this ambush mob comprised two or three stalwarts with scruffy signs occupying the ground just in front of the iconic Salford Lads Club to prevent Cam getting a propaganda snap, aping the original and best by my old mate Steve Wright. Cam went in and out by the back door. The autograph denial line is I think spurious Tory twaddle.

In comments Iain Lindley draws attention to more of his own propaganda and to the utterly ridiculous findings of the utterly ridiculous Channel M, a so-called community TV station. These were that they couldn't find anyone in the area who supported the protest. More likely that they couldn't find anyone in the area that had even heard of Channel M (total viewers ... two).

The area is not deemed worthy of receiving the local Salford Advertiser freesheet which plugs its broadcast stablemate: Granada's mini-me rather than a useful outlet for communities. A likely response would have been: "Let him come, but we remember Thatcher's destruction of our industry and our lives, and we'll not be voting for any Tory party round here."

This would particularly be the case if/when Cam's Conservatives put up another eligible socialite ladette like Bill Cash's daughter Laetitia Cash/Gunn - I kid you not - to take on Taste of Honey's gritty, realistic urchin Hazel Blears.

Laetitia has no respect for others whatsoever and flashes the gnashers but doesn't flash the cash.

She is around 40th on the Eh List and in a similar position on Tatler's list of society faces.

Green Transport Plan: Anti-Green Green Inkers Rumbled

A couple or three weeks ago the Manchester Evening News provided a list of businesses supposedly involved in something called Greater Manchester Momentum Group (GMMG) - all keen as mustard to derail the greening of Manchester road movements through time targeted fees to drive at peak times.

One of these businesses was allegedly big-five accountant Deloitte. Dave Ottewell has recovered from his urinal trauma and brings news that Deloitte are not remotely happy to be included among supporters of the un-Green green inkers:

A Deloitte partner has now written to leaders of the 10 Greater Manchester councils not only dissociating themselves from GMMG's latest letter, but pointing out the company is "not opposed" to road pricing and is indeed "proud to have been the delivery partner" for other congestion charge schemes.

How many more household names "associated" with these attempts to wreck Greater Manchester's green travel plans have had their names taken in vain?

Meanwhile there are signs on the ground here in Chorlton, M21 of preparatory work on road bridges and so on ready for a spring into action on the Metrolink tram services for our area. Hurrah!

Emergency Petition: Calling for Ceasefire in Gaza

I just signed an emergency petition calling for an immediate ceasefire to protect civilians. If you think this is a good idea, please visit AVAAZ here.

Dave Ottewell Exclusive: Pissed Off at Wonderwall

Dave Ottewell of the Manchester Evening News may have lynched an anomalous urinal user - he doesn't dare say. But could it be he acted as judge, jury and executioner without a full and frank deduction, and killed an innocent man? The supposed crime? Unnecessarily using the middle urinal in a bay of three. Breaking all the established laws of Piss-ics. But what's this?

ALBERT EINSTEIN WRITES: The man may have been a hangover from a set of urinals which were momentarily full with three users having been approached correctly. Obviously he must have been the third user under Ottewell Law One and Law Two, neglecting Law Three for the sneaky use of sit down facilities. And as third user would on average have been the sole survivor. Until that is Ottewell rocked up with his killer streak.

Hysterical Tory Bloggers: LOL Equals Comical Ali

Oh deary me. Iain Dale got a police PR visit approximately eight hours and several hysterical follow up calls after reporting an outbuildings "burglary", or possibly theft of roof covering, but meanwhile the ever sanguine loon-blogger and local Tory activist - but alas not elected representative or candidate - Paul Newman (no relation, but some scoping here from Bloggerheads) has compared yours truly in comments to Muhammed Saeed al-Sahaf, the comical former Iraqi Information Minister. This was over my futile attempts to suggest some sense of proportion was needed on police attendance at such minor crime scenes.

Of course the good works of Sir Ronnie Flanagan, the "no names, no pack drill, no paperwork" hero of the Omagh investigation is being used widely by rabid Tories in evidence of the need to cut non-essential paperwork.

Iain Dale: Has Been Burgled, Twenty Hours Ago

Oh dear. Iain Dale's outbuildings have been burgled. Not seven hours ago though. That's a fib. It was 12 or more hours before that more than likely.

Having been burgled a number of times, three times in one year being the worst spate - until we got are rather big, barky dogs that is - I sympathise.

But it must be said that even directing traffic or reinforcing the Met at a London derby football match - like the one Iain has been sobbing at this afternoon - are activities that require live police from West Kent more than a burglary that has taken place.

Possibly 12 hours before even being reported, in which no-one was harmed or even scared, in which there are no eye witnesses, in which - though you don't say - nothing much was gone apart from £400 of lead off the roof. Off the roof of some media tart's outbuildings.

If there are worthwhile forensic clues; if the guys that do great train robberies and bullion raids have a moment; and they do decide to send a SOCO they'll quite likely still be some clues there.

The last time the police didn't attend our place when they arguably should have done was when I had a good look at a big crack-addled burglar chappie checking out the back of our house.

Including full face, close up. In broad day light. And with the call within seconds of the miscreant leaving the scene. They have neither sent an officer nor even taken much of a description over the 'phone.

It is of course possible that they knew immediately from release schedules or the basic description who this was or had even picked them up. This is also possible in your case Iain.

We have far more police now than under the Tories. The unnecessary paperwork that has grown up under successive governments - not just Labour - apparently accounts for 3% of police time. Which is less than the circa 15% uplift in numbers.

If Iain Dale can explain why the police should prioritise a bitty blogger burglary over anything else I'd be interested to read it.

And if he could reassure us that he at no point told them he is a top boy blogger, Total Pants publisher and occasional Telegraph op-ed writer and would feature their incompetence en blog I'd be very relieved indeed.

Heavenly Hansard Typos: And Official School Trips

Some loverly typos spotted by Ditzy yesterday right here and also an indication that the government school wallahs do listen and have finally been to Finland. Where school education is cool, results are exemplary and they have retention to 18 of about 98% and further/higher thereafter towards 70%. Until recently they hadn't been to Heavenly Helsinki.