When Nadine Dorries MP pads up and hoiks the bat of truth to the wicket to defend the stumps of MP innocence by attempting to slog the BBC - and specifically presenters' expenses - for six then it really is too hard to resist straight-arm slinging a Malinga style side-arm yorker at middle and leg:
You're not an innocent MP Nadine now are you? You simply do not have a proper explanation for your "main home" arrangements. Your "second home" answers the description of your "main home" as you are there more than any other address. Your one remaining dependent child is based at that home and at (day) school nearby, your dog and apparently your childminder/dog walker/ex husband too. I really can't see the merits in yourself coming out to bat for "innocent MPs" or even jeering at Margaret Moran MP I see. What do you think you are doing?
Could you please publish the ratio of comments allowed versus total comments even if my honesty and precision don't pass muster this time?
On Sunday Nadine had a BBQ lunch for some local Tory ne'er-do-wells she tells us, on Friday there was a garden party at Westoning in Mid Narnia she tells us, on Wednesday "a mates night out" with Dave Cameron and some mysterions she tells us leaning on her being born and raised "in a Council House":
Something changed for me on Wednesday night. The kid from the backyard in Liverpool (picture on top bar, and reproduced here) had crossed the divide created over generations of suspicion, to the place where she trusts the kid from the country estate. That's a big deal where I come from and takes some doing.
Only a few days before she had "fessed up" to being born and raised somewhere else:
I had ordered a cab. My cab driver was Barry and on my arrival we had chatted all the way from Lime St to Oakfield Rd. I told him how I had been born only a few hundred yards away and spend my first few years in my Nana’s house, 12 Breck Rd. She had lived there up until I was 20 and I had spent many happy days with my wonderful Nana. The picture on the top of this blog (and reproduced here) of me holding the teddy and bottle was taken in her back yard.
Here she tells us about another Friday night/Saturday morning in Woburn (site of tax payer funded "second home") and here's another Friday night in Woburn (the second home) to be followed by a journey to and from Liverpool then onwards to a friend's house in the Cotswolds (site of the alleged main home) she tells us.
Here's a letter from yesterday's Bedfordshire on Sunday:
We deserve better ...
Sir – Our Mid-Bedfordshire ‘representative’ in Parliament, Nadine Dorries, was quoted in your newspaper as saying ‘I chose to have my second home in Bedfordshire rather than Westminster as I think it’s important to live the daily commute along with the rest of my constituents’.
Whose MP does she think she is? Surely the intended purpose of a second home is to allow MPs representing constituencies that are far from London to be able to contribute fully in parliamentary business, not to allow an MP whose constituency is close to London to maintain a house in the country, just for the weekends.
Ms Dorries’ skills as a self-publicist are beyond question but her claim to be sharing the pain with the rest of us really takes the biscuit.
On this occasion, she seems to have forgotten that the inconvenience of Bedfordshire’s location is far outweighed by the political comfort of a safe-seat sinecure.
To the Conservative party, I would say, as a life-long Conservative voter, when are you going to present me with a local candidate who will truly represent me in Parliament and for whom I will gladly vote? We Bedfordshire residents must surely deserve better than this.
Willow Cottage, Church End, Steppingley
This was in response to Nadine's "explanation" for her "main home" nonsense. Reported here. It doesn't really stack up.
Nadine's ex-husband's pied-a-terre in Chiseling Expenses is and was NOT Nadine's main home by any reasonable definition. If, as I tend to think, Mr Paul Dorries has re-located to Woburn for house-sitting, child-tending and dog-walking duties there is no stretch in the real world or for that matter Mid Narnia that can maintain the illusion that the rented Woburn Home is NOT Nadine's main home. As understood by any reasonable person from the Green Book and interpretations thereof.