Monday, July 19, 2010

Nadine Dorries MP: They Should Throw the Book at Her

Nadine Dorries: The Conservative Mum-P for Mid Bedfordshire has resumed her blogging parallel universe fantasy, showing an extraordinary lack of respect for IPSA, whose manual she claims was uniquely whisked from her desk and out of a waiting window by a gust of wind on the opening of her office door.

Here you go: "IPSA in the air", a title which refers to who knows what. Perhaps correspondents could comment to confirm the weight of the booklet in question? Perhaps too to comment on the design fault that allows opening an office door when a window happens to be open to distribute MP's private correspondence on the four winds? Perhaps on the strange lack of other wind-borne detritus?

On a day when we caught up with news that our old friend* and Nadine's Conservative colleague from the Gloucestershire-Warwickshire borders Lord Taylor of Warwick (peer's own website, we are especially liking the donations button) is to face the music, from the generally more lenient Lords expenses regime, for claiming for a "second home" when the South Midlands main home he claimed was a figment, HERE, you'd think that Missy Dorries would be keeping quiet.

* In which earlier post we asked whether the £70,000 or so Warwick had apparently trousered on the back of fictitious "main home" arrangements - he is in fact currently only being tried over £11,000 - made him worse even than Dorries (proceeding) and Rennard ("exonerated").

Lord Warwick had apparently put through his mother's home in Solihull, which he did not own, did not visit, did not pay for (etc etc) as his "main home" to justify the claiming of vast allowances from the taxpayer for his real main home in Ealing, London. Lord Warwick continued to claim thusly even after his mother had died and the tenuously related property had been sold on the open market.

LOL say: "Well fancy that!" and "Who'd have thunk it?" And LOL also point M'Learned Friends at Taylor's last blogpost, from October 2009. "Caught on Camera" was the tag. "Caught Red Handed" might be more to the point.

LOL have a very low opinion of Taylor from his patently shiny bonce to his patently shining tap dancing shoes. Here's just one sentence from his blogpost. In which the smarmy self-aggrandising tube promotes himself to a Law Lord with masterly word ordering:

This month the new Supreme Court took over the judicial functions of the House of Lords, a role which had previously been exercised by my Law Lord colleagues in parliament.


Chris Paul said...


We've done some research and some initial size and mass experiments.

The IPSA scheme is a 123pp a4 PDF. Printed to usual COI/HMSO spec this would weigh in at c 540g including 40g for a cover.

Printed single sided on cheapo 75gsm tesco value paper this would weigh c 600g neglecting the mass of the ink and the staples. Double sided, about half this, natch.

The IPSA Guidance is a 74pp a4 PDF. Printed to usual COI/HMSO spec this would weigh in at c 340g including 40g for a cover.

Printed single sided on cheapo 75gsm Tesco value paper this would weigh c 390g neglecting the mass of the ink and the staples. Double sided, about half this, natch.

We also note that the alleged direction of travel of these items is inwards to the atrium where one might expect a blizzard of paper in windy conditions, if the building were badly designed.

Initial Conclusion:

It is extremely unlikely that a book of 340 to 600 g would be lifted by a door breeze through an open window into an atrium.

We're going to take this up with the architects, perhaps they can explain this freakish behaviour. We will not leave any stone unturned. It cannot be that the Mum-P flung the IPSA MP torture manual from her office window at a passing official but having inscribed it:

"This booky book belongs to Nadine Dorries 52 and 9/8"

.. she be post-rationalising with a biblical gale.

Anonymous said...

I’m afraid that as ever you may be suffering from premature calculation when thinking of Nads. She makes no mention of a manual – although I understand that’s the word that springs to mind when you think of her. She writes about an “idiot’s guide to IPSA.” Surely that could be just a couple of stapled sheets.

Chris Paul said...

I think not. The documents that may be referred to are either 74pp or 123pp and there is no "idiot's guide" of lesser proportions. I'm sure there is some proper explanation, but the one you're attempting here is NOT it.

Perhaps Nadine would like to tell us whether she is referring to the Scheme (123pp) or the idiot's (sic) guide, also for clever MPs (74pp)?

Anonymous said...

Who's to say that some helpful researcher hasn't typed one up? Just because you can't find it on Amazon doesn't mean that one doesn't exist.

Anonymous said...

Looks like quite a big document, not a couple of pages of A4.

Chris Paul said...

If anyone can corroborate the existence of an Idiot's Guide - other than the official IPSA guidance (74pp) - then please step forward. If you can supply a physical copy or point me at an online copy even better. These things are not on sale at Amazon, they are freely circulated to MPs and the public.

That this thing was blown by the wind out of an inward facing window - uniquely among all papers in offices around the atrium - just beggars belief. The atrium roof would be littered with crap if there really was a problem. IMO.

Sad to say there is a chance that Nadine is making up a story to cover how this document found its way to this place. The investigation continues.

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Anonymous said...

I have a copy printed out in front of me. Five pages. Back to back that's three pages of A4. I might struugle to whip up enough wind to get it out of a window although I'm sure you could manage it with ease.

Chris Paul said...

Five pages anonymous 22:29? Are you sure you're not looking at the guidance to staff of IPSA on •their* expenses claims? That is indeed 5/6pp. If it is something else - i.e. any guide for idiots other than the said 74pp doc - perhaps you could point me at the download or email me a copy, thanks.

Several messages coming in confirm that the document on the roof was too substantial to be blown there by even the windiest MP. Several also puzzled as I am that there are not oodles of litter on atrium roof given this design fault.

Anonymous said...

"my Law Lord colleagues" amazing and a good spot : corrupt Tory bastard