Tom Watson found the following in The FT:Lord Tebbit, the former party chairman, acidly summarised the result as “Labour won, the Liberal Democrats did well, and Mr [Tony] Lit, the Tory candidate, and former Labour party donor, who stood under the banner of David Cameron’s Conservatives, did extremely badly”.
What do you know? All the talk of selling Voldemort and the Sun Dance Kid at half the price was a cover. ASDA are selling at 27.5% = £5. I'd not be surprised if Mr Cameron pops up near a crowd of wizard worshippers somewhere tonight - like the beaming personality-cultist Guilderoy Lockheart - before heading off to Rwanda.
Am I the only one who noticed the accidental parody of a Brown-Cameron PMQs in the third in the Shrek franchise (right)? The Scottish-sounding true-heir has been captured and slapped in irons while the English toff Charming pauses to monologue before despatching him and claiming the crown.
The humble and eminently reasonable Shrek wins the day. Hands down. CameronCharming is Dragon's toast.
DISCLAIMER: Should this observation save Mr Steve Bell's day on the currently tortured GB cartooning front ... this is nothing but nothing to do with me Gordon. (Steve: Cheques to the usual address).
John Redwood has spotted a bandwagon. But while reported crime may have gone up a little over new offences as he suggests there are greater, and positive reasons.
Numbers of crimes recorded has also been put up by the extension of CCTV systems - where many minor and middling incidents are logged as crimes and incidents with very little chance of clear up - and also the greater number of bobbies and PCSOs - more access, more reports by a larger factor than clear ups increase. The British Crime Survey is probably a more useful index.
Postscript: I've added a *hug* as Redwood is also falling back on the "brilliant, we've saved Ming" line.
This morning before college day there was a three-line whip to attend Patrick's leavers' assembly at Manley Park Primary School. This is a great school with excellent OFSTEDs including mentions in dispatches.
Things have changed since my day.
Instead of songs from the Sound of Music and blank verse we get steel pans, boxercise to eye of the tiger, massed voices believing they can fly, dramas and natch a leavers' video including just about all the year 6 kids - sponsored by Apple UK.
The down side from my point of view is that through faith schools of all stripes, state selective schools in nearby Trafford, independents and bussing the kids will scatter to the four winds. At least a dozen High Schools I'd reckon.
The school community is rather defined by white flight. Though it has some of the best absolute and value added results in the city. It's their loss as far as I'm concerned.
And while Patrick will host half a dozen of his school mates for a belated Birthday Party on Sunday he may not see most of them much if at all after the strangely orphaned "last day ever" on Monday.
INSTRUCTIONS: - Find a Tory weblog Personally, I have chosen to start by hugging Newmania, Salford's Cllr Iain Lindley poor dear, Dizzy Thinks, Mr GuF, and of course Comrade ID.
Tim has decided that because David Cameron has had such a wretched day, we should all... Hug a Tory.
- Leave a *hug* under 'comments'
- Leave
- Spread the love by repeating this message on your weblog... and include a link to your hug
Hat tip: Bob Piper
It's not all bad: "British kids do great in ... pregnancy tests."
Worth talking a look here. Comments are quite dense, in more ways than one at times.
The fibbing two-faced Lib Dem candidate above chose .... specs. Seemed like an ungracious arse when he spoke. Which is why we all hate Lib Dems. Has this themed facebook group been closed down?
Nigel Bakhai, Liberal Democrat 10,118
John Cartwright, Official Monster Raving Loony 188
Sati Chaggar, English Democrats 152
Salvinder Dhillon, Respect 588
Sarah Edwards, Green 1,135
Kuldeep Grewal, Independent 87
Tony Lit, David Cameron's Conservatives 8,230
Yaqub Masih, Christian Party 280
Jasdev Rai, Independent 275
Kunnathur Rajan, UKIP 285
Virendra Sharma, Labour 15,188 *****
Gulbash Singh, Independent 92
Labour hold. Turnout 43% (2005 56%). 2005 Majority 11,440. This time 5,070. Menzies Campbell 8 visits, Dave-id Cameron 5 or 6 visits. Including two cocktail parties.
Grant Shapps MP is on. As bad as Greg Stone. But no glasses. He is full of it. All sorts of bogus stats. Bogus glee. He's just bogus bogus bogus. 1989 since Lib Dems have not won a by-election where they started second he says. God, he's full of it. The Tories cannot fight a ground war says the reporter. Still he's full of it. Sadly the picture breaks up at this point.
Tony Lit arrives. Shakes hands with lots of Tory boy blog muppets and the like. Where is Gurcharan Singh? Oh dear, not here.
Results added at 02:30
BBC Results and analysis
Stephen Gash, English Democrats 177
Paul Gittins, Independent 1,885
Tim Grainger, Christian Party 177
Chris Haine, Green Party 348
Alan Hope, Official Monster Raving Loony Party 147
Toby Horton, UK Independence Party 536
Graham Robb, Conservative Party 4,082
Norman Scarth, Anti Crime Party 34
Andrew Spence, British National Party 2,494
Greg Stone, Liberal Democrats 5,572
Phil Wilson, Labour Party 12,528
Labour Hold. 2005 majority was 18,445. 2007 majority 6,953 Actually 6,956. Quite impressed with the Tory Graham Robb slamming the negative Lib Dems, the BNP and the Fourth Estate for not scrutinising either the Libs or the Fash crapulence in their pages.
The Northern Echo did take an advert from the BNP but gave the money to charity. That's not good enough. Greg Stone chose to wear his specs. But everyone still wanted to give him a slap.
BBC Results and analysis
Say Newsnight. Nick Robinson informed John McTiernan who is interviewed. There should be an independent inquiry into Shetland Angus and the nationalist cohorts. Guido will be gutted.
Word on the street says majority down from 11,000 to two or three. But hold. And the word is that following that fabled "late surge" the Lib Dems copycat will take a clear second with the Tories trailing in a sad third.
Lib Dems two tables, OK; Tories two tables, which is generous; Labour four tables; one to one bar. Fascists to beat Tories?
UPDATE 00:57: Lib Dems are saying Labour 43%. But the papers looks like more than 50% to these eyes.
In a couple of hours one of these plastered people will be MP for Ealing Southall. No such window displays in Sedgefield mind. Picture
The poor Geordie-Yorkie bar kid still cannot decide which to wear. Decisions! Decisions! Not something Lib Dems are used to having to make. Come on people help poor Greg decide! It's going to go to the wire! It's a two lens race! Monocles can not win here!
This one is not really good enough for press use in Manchester where local people are furious at this bare-faced cheek from their part-time MP and Cllr.
And he's got those blooming Blue Peter shoes on again.
Stephen Newton has a story of extortion and execution. With links to Amnesty International to allow you to intervene to save the life of this flautist. He killed a man when he was 16. In Iran they let children grow up before executing them. Which is a bit off as they promised not to.
Meanwhile if there is anyone who knows how long Cllr John Leech MP spent actually "sleeping rough" in Manchester in another Amnesty activity recently I'd be glad to have the details. If it was all night I'll give him credit for it with only mild qualification. But if he skipped most of it - as he did the anti-war demo he's also bragging about - I promise to be firm and thoroughly unfair.
Iain is rather self-righteously calling thusly: The BBC Must Take Full Responsibility. The accusations are in a nutshell that they are making mistakes, failing to take responsibility, and scapegoating others.
Iain reports in comments that when he has been involved in things with Channel 4 they have picked over it all with a fine tooth comb. Quite right too. Unlike say, Endemol, Iain's fact checking and policies could and should be far better than they are. BBC! Steer clear or do the same.
For a handy example Iain claims the production company RDF have been "banned" from ever making a programme again. In fact there is a simple and very reasonable "pause" while RDF, the BBC and the individuals involved fast forward to find out just how she-who-must-be-portrayed came to be so fiendishly "slighted".
Obviously Hilda is not a bad old stick. She has graciously accepted an apology from an ignorant colonial and from a cheeky and/or careless state broadcaster and their feckless minions.
But let's face it she is Thief of All She Surveys and that eternal truth is what's bugging Iain and his cast of thousands.
They think the BBC is run by a load of pinko republicans who are on to the fact that the Monarchy are simply the blow hards and in-breds at the top of the Robber Baron Tree.
That the royal succession has often been fudged, with a narrow escape for spawn-of-royal-bastards Dave-id "only me" Cameron, and that Britain would quite frankly be better off with some bicycling paupers doing pagaentry every now and then.
Three late surges. In homage to the Noble Lords Razzall, Rennard and the sadly sidelined Greavesy. But can you name them? Just for fun? By email if you want to let it run. Right to the wire. Two horse race and all that.
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