South Ealing Minicabbie: Pops Up on Newsnight

LONDON: How strange. Having completed almost the full list of Do-It-Myself tasks at Dr Huq's bijou des res in Ealing South I request my host to rustle up a local driver to get me to Euston on time.

In fact we drive down to the rank at "Olympic Cars" and the nominated driver - BP-rally-trained - climbs into Rupa's own battered car to speed us both to the terminus.

We arrive with fifteen minutes to spare following top navigation and extraordinary defensive driving. All the while some wild talk of SUN "paps" and a strange sibling-esque rivalry was working itself out between driver and host.

INTERMISSION

MANCHESTER: Very odd later to spot what looked like the very same mini-cabbie (left) on the television. Being interviewed in a Newsnight investigation into the Blue Men who were riding shotgun (or shotokan?) on the Olympic Torch.

Apparently Dr Huq's chosen cabbie had also been one of the Londoners who got to jog with that very torch aloft, had been jostled by a scampy protestor (BBC, YouTube, yet knew nothing much (that Newsnight interview) about the provenance of the "blue men".

LOL has a new proposal: Are these boys in blue actually a preview of a Boris Johnson police state bicycle thief snatch squad?

ANALYSIS

Looks like China is scoring own goal after own goal with this Greek Torch. Sportifs, celebs and even Ealing cabbies have conspired with the Chinese government to make their country a bit of a laughing stock.

The original Blue Men (above) were a radical theatre troupe from New York - as seen at PS122, and the Green room in Manchester - but they were (a) very good indeed and (b) "sold out" beautifully when the top dollar offers came in.

I'm not sure the Blue Men of the torch will achieve such greatness with their sticky fingers (this not this) and kung fu (this not this) fighting displays alongside their charge.

Please do try to remember that this torch is an Olympic Torch with some fine connotations. This is not an Imperial Chinese Torch of horrors. And try to recall what happened to the USSR/CCCP not so long after they hosted the thing.

Basically Russia lost their whole empire within a decade.

Remember too some of the more unfortunate activities of Imperial Britain in 1908 and 1948, never mind the USA in their various years as Olympic Hosts.

CONCLUSION

China are making a right Horlicks of the whole thing. Like The Great Dictator, but on a tour of self-imposed slapstick schtick.

Relying really on host countries doing heavy police. Adding a further layer of "fast as lightning" mysterious kung fu boxers and thuggies. And naturally meeting protest upon protest. Perfect ... if the aim is to debunk your own reputation worldwide.

They could hardly do more to disgrace themselves. It is our duty to provide them with a stage on which to do this. Judas was necessary for "Cheeses" (see comment from "JuanKerr") to get his and save us all. The same applies here. But with no fault whatsoever for the co-conspirators, most of whom are taking the chance to empathise with the protestors and criticise Mother China.

New Maoist New China: Have begun to let on that there are actually protests. Contrary to various reports that they are suppressing that. Screen grab below.



UPDATE 10:12 AM TUES: YouTube comment from Chinaupup (who is roundly smeared and insulted at that user page) :

Stop western media distortion, stop western style violence and stop attacking the peaceful olympic torch,stop lousy political act,this series of violent protests and riots make us clear who are destroying our chinese peaceful hope and olympic spirit. Now you western let us know your the false faces and we'll remember them from you forever.We chinese will never forget what you have done to all chinese. such as:distortion,attack,historical trespass,arrogant behavior and violience.

Is this is what Paul Mason would call a Zhongnanologist or the opposite? Being "China Up Up" or "China U Pup".

Lamb in Wolves Clothing: Tory Garden Poster Onslaught

Back in Manchester yesterday by the way spotted a Tory garden poster, and a cult of personality window poster, in a decidely non-Tory area. Unable to resist I knocked on, invited myself in, slipped my shoes off, and attempted re-education. I needn't have worried. 100% red socialist Labourite household displaying posters in some sort of horrific favour for a bare acquaintance.

One of the daughters of the house confided that the household were berating mum for this faux pass - and having to pass the ugly mug blueness every day - but alas it was a question of "There's no harm in it" and "We'll all vote Labour as usual." The kind of word of mouth we can only dream of. Good news for Amina and bad news for Cllr "Buzz" Bhatti, the plane spotter and police complainant (retd.).

London Frontline: Is There A Mayoral Election Going On?

Here is Ealing Southall there is almost NO SIGN of the close and tense mayoral election being protrayed on the blogs and inky and multi- media. Almost 24 hours wandering and a total of ONE window poster spotted, for Ken natch, and even the landmark SECC building (South Ealing Conservative and "Unionist" Club I believe) has narry a mention of the Bozmeister around its hallowed portals.

Worse still the hospitable blogger who has welcomed me to theirs has NO INTERNET in their home.

NONE, NADA, ZILCH, KEIN, a big PAS D'INTERNET.

UPDATE: Tuesday 14:34, In fact a total of FOUR posters were spotted in the area. Three Kens and one Green with "Ken for Mayor" added prominently.

Reasonable Tory Bloggers: Oh Yes, There Are One or Two

Long overdue links to reasonable Tory Liam trading as Cassilis and reasonable Tory Evan trading as Evan's Thoughts have been added.

Part of the CP-LOL mission is to rebutt some of the knee jerk nonsense of Farmer Dale and of course Dozy GuF, with catching them doing something right as a very occasional sideline.

But Cassilis is terrifically reasonable and mostly right. And Evan is terrifically legal, often reasonable, and always right of centre. The Price is right after all.

Apologies gentlemen for not linking sooner.

UPDATE: Liam at Cassilis is Centre-right and independent, and 'fesses to some Labour voting in General Elections. Certainly not a doctrinaire Tory.

Bitter Euro Wreckers: Throwing Stones at Cameron

Conservative Home has a bitter expose of the methodology used by Tories to select Euro lists. Poor old Sajjad Karim MEP gets it in the neck again.

His new office in Chorlton was one of those I attended when looking for legal support for Tarus in his hour of need. No solicitors present. No receptionist. Presumably the MEP office - also unoccupied - in the back is paying much of the rent and business rates?

Eager recommendation for another immigration lawyer was made, who shall be nameless for now. But this character demanded £250 up front "on account" to receive a fax, sign it, fax it back.

Incidentally, after the purge, it was good to see a Lib Dem site still featuring their former MEP HERE.

Born and raised in the small Lancashire town of Brierfield, he went on to set up Marsdens Solicitors in Nelson, where he is a partner working mainly as a criminal defence lawyer. He was a councillor in Pendle for eight years.

Perhaps "Marsden" is an old family name? Bitter Pendle Lib Dems and others shot the breeze HERE.

Iain Dale's Diary: More Chaos at the Home of the Blues

Mr Dale has more sloppy seconds. With un backed up assertions about what the police want on two unrelated matters. Detention and dope classification.

If the police don't want longer detention they've changed their tune. But what is Iain's source anyway? If the police do want reclassification of cannabis they have also changed their view. What is his source? There is a (copper-bottomed) comment saying police on the ground actually want declassification/decriminalisation/legalisation.

I'm agin the 42 days, but in favour of letting dope stay as is.

So Weak: Cokey Boris Johnson to Ban Alcohol on Tube

The Telegraph have been spun a yarn by Boris Johnson. He says he would ban alcohol on the tube if he were ever elected, heaven forfend.

So long as he doesn't ban spliff, coke and pills (not to mention consorting with crack whores) he'll probably get this one past Cam and GOO alright.

Hat tip: Farmer Dale who sadly forgot to hat tip the Telegraph who had it 15 hours before him.

So Weak: Guido Launches Proxy Attack on Tom Watson

Meanwhile Paul Staines aka Guido Fawkes aka Mr GuF is carrying on his poxy vendetta against Tom Watson MP. Tell you what Guido ... get serious won't you?

The relative in question may or may not be a good representative in Sandwell. That's for her constituents not for GuF to decide. Councillors do casework, attend community meetings, and governors meetings, and LAP meetings, hold advice sessions, refer matters to MPs and MEPs. There's a lot more to it than formal Town Hall meetings.

Even on that he says "four" when 175% of this = seven meetings were actually attended. Counting meetings only is obviously a gross underestimate of the workload of most councillors.

This post is yet more evidence of GuF's complete incompetence around money and numerical matters. And blog stats to boot. Moral bankrupcy upon statistical bankruptcy upon legal bankruptcy.

Oh, and an outstanding Charity Commission investigation.

GuF couldn't organise a piss up in a brewery. Scratch that, he could stagger through that. But that's just about his limit. Hat tip: Tim.

So Weak: Iain Dale Repeats Media Toddler Chit Chat

So weak! Iain, So weak!

Forgive him. He knows not what he is dabbling with! Comparing Gordon Brown to a Dementor. Still, if Gordy can suck all the life out of Boris, GOO and Dave then I for one will be pleased as punch.

But I prefer the Shrek III parallel myself.

This was of course the prime attack of Steve Bell and the media on grey peas, underpants John Major as he headed towards ... election victory and the nation's affection.

Lib Dem City Centre Round Up: The Clayton Strangler?

Cllr Kenny Dobson aka Dobbo (right) has been a member of most of the running clubs in Manchester down recent years. Starting at the YMCA with what amounted to prescribed exercise and certainly taking in Salford HAC and Sale HAC along the way. After that he started founding his own clubs. Yes, that's plural as he was apparently thrown out of the first of these - East Manchester Athletic Club - and had to form another, East Manchester Harriers.

Basically Kenny is a more-or-less unemployable corner boy who was refused membership of the Labour and WM Club (i.e. the drinking club) as a spotty youth and huffed off and joined the Liberal Party (i.e. another drinking club) instead. Later he became a councillor (basically for him another drinking club) before being drummed out in disgrace by his neighbours over various unpleasant incidents, heavy suspicions and collossal failures.

Now, I like Kenny alright, and will chat to him about anything but politics when I occasionally see him. So I didn't hesitate to cover the plot to oust him as a candidate in the City Centre sympathetically.

Even though I must say I think he is highly unsuitable to "represent" this ward and is on record muttering about how much he "hates the bastards" etc. Proper anti-capitalist nihilism really. Not a man to help sort a parking problem for your 4x4. Nevermind impersonate a Culture spokesman, an enthusiast for recycling, or a purple prose newsletter editor.

Kenny defeated the Lib Dem group leadership 4-3 5-4 as the massed ranks of two wards turned out for a close run selection.

The reason given for this attempt to throw him out was that he had pointed the finger at another candidate being up to his eyeballs in debt (c £40,000) and involved in dealing class A drugs. This was deemed uncomradely.

This fellow - who was in fact Chair of Manchester Lib Dems according to this Lib Dem Youth page - had apparently approached the newly Westminstered Cllr John Leech MP at the Town Hall for help with his £40,000 debt, even enquiring about details of Leech's repeated Chugging of a certain South Manchester pensioner for all his own sponney.

Kenny had warned the pensioner of that risk. He was allegedly put up to his reporting of the alleged nefarious activities by senior members of the group who then turned on him and chose to protect the other fellow - the alleged drug dealer - who was immediately back on their list of candidates, though disappearing (electorally only) without trace.

Anyhow, I digress. Kenny couldn't organise a proverbial in a proverbial.

In one of his rare "speeches" in Council he demanded new lights at the junction of two roads which do not meet. He rolls in late and out early from official meetings in running gear. Like Dave Cameron he cycles the wrong way down One Way streets. He is never exposed to community meetings or advice sessions solo. And generally he keeps schtum.

His total written reports in one recent council year comprised 24 scribbled words. All but six of them the names of meetings. I have a copy. There ought to have been five two page reports. And obviously he is forever getting into trouble with the running community for his half-arsed attempts at putting on races. Most recently last weekend at Clayton Vale.

A particularly troubling anecdote concerns a meeting a year or two back when our hero was supposed to represent his club at a committee meeting concerning the users of the Athletics Stadium at East Manchester. Kenny was unfashionably extraordinarily late, even by his standards, and excused himself by saying he had been shopping.

This did not go down well with the other representatives. At the end of the meeting it is alleged that he grabbed one ex-Great Britain International by the throat, saying: "Don't ever speak to me like that again". By my calculations this hot-headedness was just a few months before he was re-elected to represent the residents of City Centre ward.


In fact the Lib Dems City centre team are a right lot. There's Kenny the Clayton strangler (right). There's a woman called Elaine Boyes who has a comparable record - before being slid into what is probably the most middle class, professional ward in the city - of early hours drunken open air cat fights on the Openshaw Village Estate. She works in the NHS (centre).

Not quite as bad as "Peter" one of her Lib Dem ex-councilloring neighbours who was taken away in handcuffs at least once.

Oh and there's Marc Ramsbottom (left) (the Rambo archive), the one who is up this time round. A right old hypocrite on flyposting. Suspended on full pay for more than a year over allegations of financial irregularity. Eventually resigned in mysterious circumstances.

Yet still the Lib Dems have him as their Finance spokesman! He's the one that reassured Council in his alternative Powerpoint Budget that there'd still be £90 in reserves after he was done.

Actually believable given what the Audit Commission found (or did not find) in the coffers of Lib Dem Liverpool. "£90? Chance would be a fine thing", commented Mike Storey's puppet Fireman Bradley.

On May 2 Rambo should be gone. Dobbo and Boyesy will soon follow.

I'll be back to add the links and possibly a full P&P. Can anyone tell me whether that is necessary? Me, here, supporting Labour.

UPDATE: The allegedly offending candidate no longer has a place in the run down at Rambo's pages. Perhaps he is in jail? Or sleeping with the fishes? Luckily I have some screen grabs of the shady character in previous incarnations. No candidates are mentioned for Bradford Ward, Hulme Ward, Ancoats and Clayton Ward, or Moston Ward which are part of the constituency that Rambo is "parliamentary spokesman" for.

Don't think he's been selected for that just yet, actually.

LD Fools Day: Fitch, Pack or Farmer Most Foolish?

Early this morning Mark Pack ran the latest episode in an old old story on Lib Dem Voice. This concerned a batty Lib Dem pretender who was beaten in an election but where some votes were not counted. 4,000 or so according to the Press Association, as reported in the Worksop Guardian.

The logically-challenged Lib Dem loser and time waster, a Mr Fitch, petitioned all the way to the High Court that the election ought to have been re-run.

Reading the Press Association and other reports and indeed Salford Cllr Steve Cooke's post comment at LDV, immediately above my own, leads me to the conclusion that ALL THE VOTES WERE COUNTED and that the unintentional omission to count some at the proper time MADE ABSOLUTELY NO DIFFERENCE TO THE RESULT.

Clearly if it had made a difference the decision would have been different. In fact there wouldn't have been a petition at all, just a recount and an overturning of any incorrect results, something which this Lib Dem pretender didn't even ask for.

The only question to solve now is whether the waster John Fitch or the disingenuous Mark Pack is the more foolish here. Both confirming the Lib Dem predeliction for stunts and shameless weaselry.

Fitch seems to be petitioning to have another shot at winning a seat: AGAINST THE WISHES of the electorate. Because of a genuine procedural error. And one that made no difference.

As to Cllr Steve's puzzlement on the numbers 9,099 votes sounds like a huge turnout now that wards are more standardised at c 10,000. The missing 1,000 reported when the BBC covered the matter sounds far more accurate and around what you might expect for one of five or six polling stations.

In that report we find the following:

Mark Farmer of the Liberal party, who was a former councillor in the ward, said the only way to put the mistake right was to have a re-run of the ballot.
Three Labour councillors were elected in the Abbey ward. The party took control of the previously hung council winning 38 seats.
"The problem we now face is that result cannot be overturned locally it has to go to the High Court to decide if the result will count or if there will be a re-run of the election," Mr Farmer said.

Presumably it's Lib Dem party, rather than Liberal? But let's add Farmer to the mix. Which of the three is the most foolish?

Well done to Cllr Cooke for rising above this folly. The High Court have also decided not to award a re-run to a bad loser.

Iain Dale For Big Brother House: Vote Him In NOW!

It seems top blogger and former Tory PPC Iain Dale is all set to follow in the footsteps of the young politico Ginger John and the gnarled old tub slapper George Galloway and go on Big Brother. But only if enough people vote "Yes" rather than "No" or "Couldn't Give a Rat's Arse" HERE. I think he'd be excellent entertainment, plus there's a chance they'd stop him blogging for a week or two!

Nick Clogg: Solve the Following Three Equations for N

n = 1, where n is the number of referees on sexual prowess

N = much less than 30, where N is the lifetime number of female partners

N = n, obviously it must do

What is the value of N, and n?