Libdemologists: Hospital Hoax Leech Almost Escapes the Drop Zone

Stephen Tall provides a snap shot of Lib Dem media success, here. Despite self aggrandising and pretending to be a mimicster and front bench spokesman John Leech (Man Wit) is still in the BOTTOM TEN. As is Paul Rowen (Rochdale).

But as cheery glass half full Libdemologists they will be spinning this as a late surge with both Leech and Rowen climbing slightly from their low of six months ago. Mark Hunter (Cheadle) is surely doomed to relegation, seemingly growing roots at the foot of the table.

John's bird-of-a-feather cluster bomb hypocrite Willie Rennie remains just outside the drop zone.

Silent Movie: And Other Bo Jo Media Coups

Guido has a great story involving Boris being lost for words at his press launch. Thanks to James Cleverly? Boris understood to have been heard muttering (ironically, natch) "Trust a Bloody Darky".

Went to the Back Boris site expecting to see the great audiovisual communication there at least. But sadly no. But all is not lost. There were ALL Boris' press releases (above, all two, from 16 and 18 July).


And there was his his bustling media centre (again two items, bollocks to this) despite the encouraging:

Below you'll find the latest campaign news, however if you'd like to see the press releases or image gallery please use the links above.

The Gallery is there. A picture is after all worth a thousand words. And Boris' clever software makes him look even more like a fat head (top) than is strictly necessary (right).

NOTES FOR TECHIES:
The portrait pictures in the collection are shown in the wrong ratio.
As in a Hall of Mirrors.
Which Boris undoubtedly has at home.

Tory Funding: More Left-Right Squabbling

Iain Dale is wondering how Johan Eliasch ever made his money snapping "to rash judgements like this". Which may look a little like a rash judgement on Dale's part. Wheeler and Kalms saying Dave-id is not right enough then Eliasch saying he's too right.

John Rentoul, writing in The Independent puts the whole thing down to a clash between worldly Andy "Phone Tap" Coulson and other worldly Steve "Who He?" Hilton.

Times Online has the Tories saying: "Johann Eliasch has stood down as a deputy treasurer to focus on climate change issues, however, his full and financial support for David Cameron's leadership continues."

And there's more: Ben Brogan who had the Eliasch story early doors and also claimed "the surge is working" as today's polls are better has the much tipped defective John Bercow taking a new role:

I hate to add to David Cameron's difficulties, but I'm told on good authority that Gordon Brown has hired John Bercow to do some work for the Government. No, he hasn't defected, as many have expected, but something is being announced today apparently. It could be fairly innocuous. Whichever way you slice it up though, the fact that a Tory MP - and 'reformed' right-winger at that - thinks it's ok to get consensual with the Big Clunking Fist is an interesting test of the new politics proclaimed by Mr Cameron.

Scottish National Party: Snouts in the Trough

Ridiculous Politics tell us that the Napoleon and Snowball of the SNP are snouts deep in the trough. Already walking on hind legs shock. Taking cash for access like the established parties they criticise so freely.

And the amounts involved are not Teine. £10,000 for a Rock Salmond supper? Playing with fire as Angus MacNeil might attest.

Next thing they'll be wearing farmer Jones' old clothes and playing footsie and high stakes poker with the ruling class:

Many years pass, and the pigs learn to walk upright, carry whips, and wear clothes. The Seven Commandments are reduced to a single phrase: "All animals are equal, but some animals are more equal than others." Napoleon holds a dinner party for the pigs and the humans of the area (in the adjacent Foxwood Farm, run by Mr. Pilkington), who congratulate Napoleon on having the hardest-working animals in the country on the least feed. Napoleon announces his alliance with the humans, against the labouring classes of both "worlds". He then abolishes practices and traditions related to the Revolution ...

MSM corroboration: The Scotsman

Durutti Column: Vinnie Reilly Never Known (1982)

Iain Dale's Artwork: LOL Graphics' Mock Up

LOL Graphics have put Iain's masthead on the back burner to do him a 16-sheet. After Bloggerheads.

Oliver Marre, Ann Widdecombe, and btw Iain Dale

Oliver Marre leads the Observer's Pendennis today with a scoop concerning the fairly imminent departure of Ms Ann Widdecombe from the HoP to feature in pasta and cat food advertising:

It's farewell, then, to Ann Widdecombe, who tells me that she plans to stand down from Parliament at the next election. But do not despair. We are going to see a lot more of her in the coming months, for I learn that she has launched a new career in advertising.
...
Widdecombe explains that once she is free of her parliamentary shackles, she will be able to dedicate more time to writing and her budding television career, as well as considering more advertisements. 'I'd do it again, but only if it's decent, truthful and something I actually like,' she says. 'Catfood, maybe'.

This means that, unless there is an autumn election, and Ann's bones, like LoL's, she says, 'tell me there won't be', Maidstone and the Weald constituency will be a very attractive political freehold for sale or rent.

Can any reader think of anyone on the Tory list who's based anywhere down Kent way?


Incidentally, Iain Dale has only today changed his blog masthead back to include a visual reference to the HoP (above). This was mid afternoon I reckon. About when a busy Tonbridge gentleman might have got through his Sunday Times, Sunday Telehgraph and his whirl of media appointments to relax with the Observer. A quick change as a call for new designs was only yesterday.

The LOL graphics department were certainly thinking they had longer. I'll give them the hurry up.

Iain Dale was of course Ms Widdecombe's accomplice and chauffeur on various conversational theatrical engagements.

He boosted her as a London mayoral candidate, has conspired on audio publications.

And he has been an unashamed plugger of Ann's wares (right).

Tory Party: Funds from Gun Maker Redux

Notification has arrived at LOL HQ of a spectacularly silly comment on this LOL post. That story followed up this story: that the Tories have taken campaign contributions from a humungous global gun maker while mouthing off about gun crime.

There was a very sloppy Times story picked up by a Tory blog or two but not properly stacked up. Dealt with in the first link.



As it happens that company Heckler and Koch have been projecting huge sales for a weapon called the XM8. This is a lightweight assault rifle. The US Army postponed a decision on buying these things, sticking instead with the patriotic if prone-to-jam M4 carbine. H&K certainly haven't given up on the project and their annual sales target of 900,000 by 2021 cannot be ruled out at this stage.

Our anonymous friend seems to think that this setback somehow nails the "Tory Cash from Arms Maker" story. Obviously it does nothing of the kind.

Heckler and Koch make lots of other weapons and the point stands whether or not they ever manage to break though to the bloody mass market with their XM8.

Political Parties, in my view, should take care on the ethics of their funders. People making their cash by making fashion and mass market guns and knives should be off any list of acceptable donors. In my opinion.

Have done the relevant Companies House searches. I will get back to this story at some point in the not too distant.

Skipper: Nine Out of Ten Fat Cats

Skipper says "please chaps, there are other mouths to feed" which is a long way short of saying a blunt NO to fat-cattery.

My own cats have never been fat. They stay lean by (a) surviving on healthy basic Table d'Hote provided and (b) supplementing basic rations exploiting ancient hunting rights. There's plenty to go at - huge rats, prodigious magpies and pestilent squirrels outdoors, with the occasional mousey or mothy snack indoors.

This is as it should be. Boardroom pay is scandalously disproportionate to "contribution". 83% tax rates (excluding NI) may not be the most diplomatic answer.

In fact the time for diplomacy is over. Something must be done. First click above top image to see how fat cats, imperialists and pesky human populations almost wiped out tigers. Now imagine the revenge.

Skipper caught Simon "mad dog" Jenkins after he'd been out in the noon day sun. The cat in this story had a tail over two feet long. But lean not fat.

Iraq Surge: Success Shown in Weekly Bar Charts

This chart and explanation is from our own BBC by way of Zen Cabin. Post surge statistics in a bar chart.

There is a surge to DC on September 15th and Nancy Pelosi continues to receive symbolic objects.

Contradictory Medicine: What's Your Poison?

Black Triangle Blog is a beaut. This spot on medical poxy morons signposting Michael Fitzpatrick in the Times.

Good link too to the genius John Martyn.

General Election Timing: Still Betting 100 Weeks

Julian Glover, the Guardian's chief leader writer, has come out to play to Comment is Free after a six month hiatus. The allure of a snap election is laced with cowardice he claims, subtitling A prime minister who had faith in his own character would resist the temptations of going to the country early. So that's that then.

LOL reckon that Dizzy is now right to play it cool when he was so recently just a fool to fan the flames of rabid speculation.

They were all at it of course. Even though a "No 10 source" has told The Times: "There is no election announcement next week, this is just a diversionary tactic in the face of the Tory meltdown".

Dizzy's later post pointed to one of the snares and traps Gordon Brown may well be laying for the Tories viz. annual spending limits for which only Brown himself can or may know the window.

First weekend in June 2009 is still my best guess. I have been plugging that view pretty much since Brown took the helm.

"Wasting" a general election without boosting a local government or euro election would surely not be prudent. It's not really about bottle. Of course it is all about winning as "Idiot!" Julian's first commenter suggests. But in particular it is about winning well.

Those Euro elections may provide the best prospects of all. An upstanding 100 weeks from succession to own mandate. At least a couple more chances to wind Cameron up to spend his money.

Gordon Brown gets two elections for the price of one. Labour benefit royally from greater turnout in a side contest. Town Hall control recovered. Or best of a bad job with reducing numbers of Euro seats.

George Galloway: Rounds on His Comrades, Again

A pattern is emerging. Famous splitter and cat impersonator George Galloway has published an attack on his SWP comrades with Liam Macuaid providing the full text.


The SWP tried to get their retaliation in first, reminding me of some of the falling out in the Stop The War Coalition over issues including rather ugly "All Means Necessary" remarks.

Not so Nimble NIMBY Nick: A Right Herbert, and his "David Davis is Soft" Rumour Gathers Momentum

Within the Tory Party Nick Herbert MP has a bit of a reputation as law-and-order hardliner. Willing to go further than those many of us would see as tough to the point of harshness. This Herbert was acting seriously pissed when around 18 prisoners were released recently. A week or two early. From Ford open prison in his constituency:

At this Nasty Nick said:

“It is totally unacceptable that prisoners are being released early onto our streets, especially those who have committed violent or drugs-related offences. It is particularly worrying that a fifth of those who have been released have committed crimes sufficiently serious that they were originally sentenced to longer than a year in prison. The public is being put at risk as a result of the Government’s decision to ignore earlier projections of the future prison population and its failure to plan accordingly."

In others words he wants the government to build more and extend existing prisons. As he soon made clear:

"Total capacity will still be 4,000 places short of their medium projection for the prison population by that time (2012), assuming that prisons will be full to the gunnels, with prisoners continuing to be doubled up. As Harry Fletcher of the National Association of Probation Officers said,
“They’ve had eight, nine years and really done nothing... There’s been no substantial building programme and no provision for probation.”

That's clear then. Nick Herbert MP does not want prisoners released even a few days early. So Nick Herbert MP wants loads more prison places. LOL would like to see far less people in prison with a particularly bleeding heart liberal approach to those who really need treatment rather than incarceration, to those whose crimes are trivial yet persistent who are cell blocking, to those where community sentencing would be far far cheaper and far far more effective.

Seeing and ever growing prison population estate as a success story is as sensible as measuring health success by numbers staying overnight in hospital. In both cases less customers and more and better prevention would surely be a success?

Having said that LOL do respect a man who is consistent and willing to lead on difficult issues. So this story from Ridiculous Politics seems rather strange and very disappointing:

Nick Herbert, the shadow secretary of state for justice, has pledged that the Tories would boost jail capacity and make prisoners serve longer terms - but he has opposed plans to turn Ford Open Prison in his own constituency into a closed prison. Jack Straw MP said: "It is nothing short of hypocrisy for Cameron and his frontbench team to make a national pledge to increase prison places, and then we find out that locally they are against the very thing they promised".
Perhaps Herbert should join the Lib Dems who are into this sort of thing.

A self-dubbed "CCHQ insider" provides this insight at Conservative Home where Herbert was recently postally interviewed by his fanclub:

Herbert refers to Davis' responsibility because he is trying not to annoy Davis.
Herbert and Davis used to be very close friends. They have had a bitter fall out partly because Herbert is siding with Michael Gove and wants to be tougher on terrorism but Davis wants to continue building bridges with Liberty.
This fall out will surely be picked up by Her Majesty's press before long with lamentable consequences.
Davis should be sacked and Herbert given his job. Until then, we will struggle to be taken seriously on security affairs.

HM Prison Ford has been in the news several more times in the last 12 months. Nick Herbert's own parliamentary question revealled that 70 prisoners had absconded in ten months to October 2006.

And it was the Deputy Warden and another officer from Ford who were prevented from giving vital evidence in person in the Liarco Chindamo case. Another instance of Tory toffs talking top tosh and twaddle.

Lib Dem Voice: Welshing on Expenses?

Lib Dem Voice has a rough and ready analysis of Welsh Assembly election expenses. Rough and ready because it is based on the published figures as submitted by parties.

LOL would like to know whether they are going to give us the REAL figures as well as the PUBLISHED figures? For example:

John Leech 2005 election contributions from a single published source (there were others, including a loan from his mum) = £23,000 cash

John Leech 2005 published election expenses (there were others) = … less than £11,000 … cash and kind

Unrepentent Communist: Red Jukebox Jury

Unrepentent Communist does hard labour down this mighty mp3 mine. Deepest red anthems of the world. Graphic: Modernhumorist.com

Toffs Out!: London House is Falling Down ...

Samantha (and Dave-id) sold her last home in Notting Hill for £1.15 million to fellow toffs Timothy and Melissa. But just like Cameron’s “new” Tories, this doer-upper sadly is underpinned by inadequate foundations.

Immigration: Inaudible Dog Whistle, Midnight Bark

Over the Cameron Months we've been treated time and again to complaints from the Tory Boy Blogger in chief that Mainstream Media ignore all the gallant behind the scenes briefing from the Tories. But this morning things were quite different.

While Iain never tires of telling us the Tory machine is out placing and steering stories, that the dratted MSM are not playing ball, that try as they might only the LP gets access, that the BBC are worst of the lot ... none of which claims really stack up, but no matter ... then a glorious day dawns!

Coulson's team bring home the bacon (so far, await backlash). BBC Newsnight provide a huge platform (albeit it with a hidden trap door). Dave-id Cameron steps up. Some say he does a good job. He is not hung immediately anyway.

This "immigration story", whatever it might be, just having the word on the front pages will be seen as a win by the nasty old Tory rump, well that is just something the MSM spotted and chose for themselves. These twitching ears are convinced that it was one of those super-octave silent dog whistles, inaudible even to most dogs. But it is certainly audible to the late shift hounds of the press ... who then spread the word with that old staple The Midnight Bark.

Webcameron: Mandela Event Brilliantly Put Together

Dave-id Cameron congratulates Mayor Livingstone on a brilliantly put together event and President Mandela on being at the height of his powers.

Twisted cynics will no doubt wonder:

- What was student Dave's position on the horror that was Apartheid South Africa?
- Did student Dave join the Federation of Conservative Students' (FCS, predecessor of CF) deliberate boycott-of-the-boycott on Barclays Bank?
- Did student Dave instead oppose the Federation of Conservative Students' boycott-of-the-boycott?
- What was graduate Dave's position on Apartheid South Africa?
- How did Dave pubically or privately oppose Tory policy vs the scourge of Apartheid?
- What was Dave's position on sports tours to South Africa?
- Does Dave endorse his likely mayoral candidate (and Oxford and FCS colleague) Boris Johnson's many marvellous insights into Africa and African questions?
- Could Dave and Bozzer plan a piss up in a South African Brewery?

I'm a Rejoice! Rejoice! man myself. Sinners saved and all that jazz. Well done Dave Cameron. I for one am convinced.

Newsnight: Cameron Bravura Performance?

Iain Dale links to The Mail's Ben Brogan reviewing Cam on Newsnight:

On immigration he gave the plain answer I mentioned earlier -
"it's been too high" - while making the sensible point that under
Labour we've had inflammatory language but ineffective action,
and that needs to be reversed

Which divides into being half a fair point and half a bit rich from the man who coordinated the dog whistling for the "are you thinking etc" campaign of 2005. Labour would I think rush to agree a bi-lateral cooling down of immigration rhetoric.

As Ben continues:

(that said his solutions - transitional controls for new EU states and quotas - sound a bit woolly).

A bit woolly? Come on! Everything to do with Cam is more than a bit woolly and this was a lot woolly. Looks like a bit of a bottomless pit of emptiness there in the middle of that warm blue coffee table.

To be fair I only caught the last 60 seconds of this live and have yet to hit rewind. But in that 60 seconds and particularly the last 15 I thought that at least two of the esteemed panel were looking at him in a way that said:
"You are completely gaga".

Click the banner to launch the programme.