Exclusive: Could We Soon Be Seeing patkarney.blogspot.com?

Evening News Blogger David Ottewell has made a valiant attempt at explaining quite how Councillor Pat Karney gets to be in the Manchester papers quite so very often.

I'm not sure Karney watchers in and around Manchester Town Hall will swallow all this. Pat does have a bit of a reputation for having a big X in the publicity box. Surely that nice Mr Ottewell hasn't been got at?

But I've some exclusive news for him. Cllr Karney was today spotted attending a Blogging Seminar in the very heart of the Town Hall. Paying close attention. If he buys in to the idea we could be hearing a lot more - live and direct.

In fact if he simply scanned and blogged his cuttings as they came in he would quickly become one of the more prolific bloggers on the planet!

Pat is Labour's City Centre spokesman and in a tragedy come farce residents there don't seem to have cottoned on to the fact that Manchester is a Labour City and have elected Maverick Marc and His Marionettes. I'm sure it will be very much shoulders to the wheel in the months up to May 1 to finally send this great pretender packing.

CAPTION: Pat Karney is refusing to confirm or deny rumours on the design of the new Town Hall Santa.

Bloggerheads.com: On the Mend, Banners Running Again

Hurrah! The Bloggerheads banner advert at the foot of my page has resumed life and as the link is pointed at this domain this is heartening news indeed.

Ever get that sinking feeling Dave? Iain Dale says it's do or die. So which is it? Iain also strangely notes: "Talk of an autumn election would be for the fairies."

Mock the Week: Bit Rude at Times, But Quite Good Really

They've just been on. They think perhaps the Tories own goaled badly on the non-partisan Konnie Huq cycle thing. And the BBC too for grovelling to right wing chancers. Good call MTW you dirty bastards you.

Blogarrhoea: Purnell Accident Thankfully Close to Hospital

That's right, Tories in Guildford appear to have been caught rigging an internet poll to make a slightly 'wide' and clearly unpopular property deal appear popular. Nothing in the blogosphere or national MSM.

Meanwhile Rt Hon James Purnell MP is victim of a serious minor photoshopping accident at the local hospital and they're into blogarrhoea. Dale alone has already pooped twice. Methinks further emergency incontinence visits towards but not reaching the bathroom may yet be necessary.
WHOOPS UPDATE 23:40: Whoops, Mr Iain Dale almost made the little boys' room this time, but whoops again.


In the first post - linked to "pooped" - Iain was foolish enough to remind us of some real low down and dirty potato chopping that we, though not necessarily Iain's friend Ms Widdy, had forgotten about:

But just remember the Labour reaction to Ed Matts in Dorset at the last election when he photoshopped a photo on his election literature

Where Mr Matts hilariously changed an appeal for asylum into a dog whistle for racism. Ha ha ha. Just like being flirted into a PR photo for a major success for constituency MPs from Tameside.


Here's The Telegraph's take on events, but though they're using the MEN's photo (also above) there is no story there just yet.

The Guardian followed the Tory Dog Whistle story with readers submissions. And if I've cut and pasted the code correctly clicking Ed and Ann should open a Guardian gallery of eight submissions.

In fact you can still make your own. Sadly as Mr Purnell was not brandishing a message, later changed, Prohosting will struggle to do a number on this one.

Former: simply horrendous and culpable, crash and burn. Latter: simply not someone's finest hour, get over it.

The Lib Dems meanwhile I hear actually used to prepare pictures with MP or PPC with leader or Mimicster holding up an empty poster. Random message to be added later.

Perhaps they're still doing it? I've got a pic somewhere with an empty one downloaded from a careless Lib Dem website. But has anyone got an example used for more than one message? This one is I think one made by the candidate's own nursery aged children and beyond reproach.

Only a shame Lib Dem and Tory authorities have been voting against trams.

Creosotemanov: Another 2% Sir? Just a Wafer, Very Thin

Old Creosotemanov has increased his stake in the Arse to 23%. Arsene Wenger has rather drolly warned that English football is in danger of being overrun by blooming foreigners.

Blogsclusive: Tory Council Caught Rigging Poll to Validate Land Transfer of Dubious Value for Money?

Two stories for the price of one.

FIRST STORY: Tory Guildford Council are say the Surrey Advertiser planning to sell off the family silver for a few bob a week. Well alright then, I am exaggerating the thinness of the deal slightly ... more like £45 a week according to the paper's calculations, for the site of a luxury hotel with 180 bedrooms plus various ancillary licenced and other retail.

If their sums are correct - see update below - the lease cost per room computes to 25p a week or less than four pence per night.

Some consultants, Colliers CRE, who appear to be acting for the developer as well as advising the Council, appear to be saying this represents a £2.2 million payment for the 999-year lease the Tories wish to give the developer. Though, hold on, if it were paid on a drip as the paper imply that won't be at today's prices will it?

Under a section 106 "planning gain" agreement, the Council will also pocket around £150,000 from the developers to pay for relocating the toilets currently in the civic hall car park as well improvements to the CCTV cameras and road network in the area.

So far, so worrying for the people of Guildford whose assets might appear to be being stripped. But hey, on the face of it they don't seem too unhappy voting 6-4 against the idea that the people are losing out. Which brings us to ...

STORY TWO. "AN investigation is being carried out by Guildford Borough Council into a vote-rigging scam", report the Surrey Advertiser. That paper, in common with many others, runs reader polls on their stories and issues of the day. And like most of these polls - which have the statistical status of "for fun" even if they are not abused - each reader is supposed to only vote once. Just like an election.

Guildford Tories don't seem to accept this constraint.

They are of a more Ruritanian "Vote Early Vote Often" frame of mind when there is a questionable deal to protect. When the paper spotted the abuse and the poll was suspended it looked like this (above right).

One Town hall computer registered 14 votes - requiring some deliberate, expert and repeated cookie clearing - and another computer somewhere in the South East, not using the Council's network, slammed in 91 more votes. All these against the rather persuasive idea that this was a bad deal for the people. Four pence a night per room in a luxury hotel? Someone's having a laugh.

From some interested party's lap top perhaps? Again repeatedly, but rather clumsily, tricking the server that they had not voted.

Perhaps the council should find an independent internet consultant to carry out the investigation? Wouldn't want anyone to think they'd fiddled that too.

Perhaps they should also get someone in to scrutinise the land transfer for value for money just one more time? Just in case the developers' friends have missed a nought or two off the valuation.

UPDATE 18:55PM: Although the Surrey Advertiser story is unclear on this LOL believe there is a £2.2 million capital receipt and that the journalist has roughly divided this by 999 and then 12 to get an approximate value of £200 per month. In reality £2.2 million in a high interest account at 5% would earn £110,000 a year or a similar amount would be saved on borrowings.

So this is a truer valuation of the deal for the people of Guildford. It is also unclear the proportion of the finished development's value relies on the specific use of the former council land or its "marriage value". Have slightly amended the above.

Tory Commentators: Tending To Mickey Mousketeerery

There is a hilarious over reaction over at Dizzy's to today's Times article following up yesterday's wafer thin cover story (yes, this made the cover) based on Danny Finkelstein's Comment Central. Yes, Gordon's speech using a few words that he hadn't coined himself.

The Times hyperbolically talks of phrases being used "without attribution" from Clinton and Gore speeches of the last five years. Meanwhile LOL fisked da Fink and found he based his argument on NINE WORDS and the rather universal ideas that went with them in four source speeches. Absolutely none of which had ever been used before or since.

Being: 1. Too serious; 2. (Not) let you down; 3. Moral compass; 4. Waste.

Short of becoming like Johnson's dictionary (word first used xyz by abc) this story seems to be a hilarious death knoll for a former paper of record. This twaddle - imagined by a former magpie of a speechwriter - was yesterday's Times cover story.

The idea that ideas and the odd word recur in political speeches is nothing new. "If not now, when?" being an example with centuries of ancient pedigree. Though Tories latched onto Reagan as the supposed source.

Rather than my great great aunt Hilary Swank or some old Greek guy - see link.

Obama follows King as sure as night follows day.

Serious people know, thanks to French linguistic sophist Jacques Derrida, about the finite number of "sayables". That last being one of many words (and by defintion ideas) that JD used without coining them himself. Stoics did that 2000 years before as "lektas". Clearly in writing a political pitch the sayables list is shorter still.

Someone (definitely not me) will be having some fun fisking Tory speeches next week for the odd word here or there first uttered by Maggie Thatcher, Ghengis Khan or Edward Heath.

More likely to get Enid Blyton on Amelia Jane's new Gollywog, Richmal Crompton on Just Boris, or Mickey Mouse for everything else.

IMAGE: Via WIKI Mickey Mouse with fair use statement there.

We Are Bloggerheads: Anti Creosmanov List Gone Home

We Are Bloggerheads list is now here. There is still cut-and-pastable code here for those wishing to display the whole list with links. Tim has also succumbed to threats from small parties and changed his poll on which party you are going to vote for. So you'll need to vote again.

Libdemologists: No Legal Aid to Expose Manchester Withington Shenanigans Against Yasmin Zalzala

The Lib Dems appear to be very pleased about this decision.

LOL will soon collate some of the highlights of the evidence and admissions given by Manchester Withington Lib Dems.

Yasmin has been posting comments on the matter conveying each interview.

Many of the witnesses are serving councillors.

One is an MP. The MP that bumped Yasmin out of what turned out to be a winnable seat. If that is you are prepared to uses hoaxes and overspending. I'm not sure Yasmin would have done either.

Christie Hospital Hoax: Leech's Smug World Explodes

Cllr John "Hospital Hoax" Leech pretended that the Christie Hospital - our regional cancer hospital - was under threat of closure. He did this purely for personal electoral advantage. South Manchester Distorter Story.

He is not dim enough to believe at any point that it was under threat. And he is rightly ashamed that his bogus literature saying the hospital was threatened in this way was handed out to patients and relatives attending for life saving radio- and chemo- therapy.

Readers may be surprised to hear that we may be back to this one.

Will Parbury: Has Moved His Digital Home to Wordpress

Will Parbury has upped sticks and moved to Word Press. For the time being LOL maintain links to both sites.

Blogger Solidarity: Now 302 "My Name is Bloggerheads"

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Reconstruction: Best Ballot Form Graffito, What's Yours?

Above is reconstruction of M I A O W ballot. Below is a sample ballot for you to spoil to your own (dis)satisfaction.

Spoiled Ballot: Only 0.4% Take Up for Boris and Company

Mr GuF calls it a landslide and CCHQ appear delighted that more than 20,000 people voted. Not after spoilt ballots they didn't. It's a fib! Mr Lansley thinks Johnson's spin over substance there at the bottom (below). Nearly 200 short in fact.

As per the above table assuming around five million Londoners are on electoral registers and eligible the turn out was just 0.4%. This is pretty miserable. It's not the mayoralty in Clitheroe or Witney you know! This is the Greatest City in the World! With all 32 Boroughs now having had Old Etonian visits bestowed on them for good measure.

How many Londoners applied for and were sent ballot papers? How many in all were returned?

What was the best actual, real graffito observed by tellers on the paperwork?

LOL's favourite piece of spoilt ballotry ever heard of included a picture of a lovely cat and the letters M I A O W in the five boxes.

But in this case there were four boxes.

What would you write and what would you draw - without crossing the bounds of decency - if you wanted to spoil your London ballot in style?

Get thinking.

A template to download and send back completed will follow shortly.

Louise "Sarky Pants" Bagshawe: New Model Milk Snatcher

The problem Louise Bagshawe and her Tory Chums face is not only a severe sarcasm overload but also the lack of credibility of little Lord Fauntelroy's non-visible alternatives.

Out canvassing - somewhere in Manchester Withington - yesterday tea time I found the women who came to their doors, all women incidentally, had a lot of time for Gordon and no time for Dave-id.

They can see that Gordon is Solid and Dependable and they can smell that Dave is "chatting fart", to borrow from the patois.

There was one exception - a Tory household essentially - but even they were dithering between washed up Lib Dems and hopeless Greens!

Louise B may be right on one point though:

Gimmick Gordon strikes again with a classic!
It's not paperwork that's the problem, you see, it's paper. So we're solving that with "palm pilots for all". Much more funky than Cameron's outmoded ideas

This has been tried before on the cheap. Somewhere incidentally that Tories hold the purse strings. It will however work in the end. Once police blogger dimness, parlous battery life and Tory false economies are overcome.

CAPTION: Louise Bagshawe is a little to the right of Maggie Thatcher.

Lib Con Fight For Scraps: Devil is in the Detail Davis-wise

Well I never Lib Dem Voice have spotted some news on the Sky news blog:

In a further sign of turmoil and panic in the Conservative Party, Shadow Home Secretary and defeated leadership candidate [sic] David Davis has cancelled all his appearances at fringe meetings in Blackpool, a move seen as more evidence of the tension at the very top of the party.

Clearly the LDV Blogger Boys are not as truthless as some of their party associates. So they won't have made it up.

But at the link it has been changed to:

In a further sign of turmoil and panic in the Conservative Party, Shadow Home Secretary and defeated leadership candidate David Davis has turned down all invitations to appear at fringe meetings in Blackpool.
This is a move seen as more evidence of the tension at the very top of the party.

Meaning that someone fairly high up or lower down but very pushy has had the story changed. Just as Iain Dale and his chums moan ever more loudly and sourly about the media favouring Labour.

UPDATE: Iain Dale gave Sky the word, and the word was good, and they changed their blog. As Iain says: "To their credit they reworded it." Now all we need is for Iain to change a mistake he makes when it is pointed out to him!

Salford Tory Humbuggery: Did They really Blog That?

Goodness me, this is Tory humbuggery. The City of Salford is, as it goes, home to a predominantly white citizenry with the main communities within that represented on the Council. I'm not sure how many BME candidates were stood in the City of Salford by Tory and Lib Dem parties?

But in Manchester where there are far more BME communities represented Labour still has a way to go but - without falling for tokenism or communalism - has been doing better than other parties on both gender equality in terms of both candidates and councillors, and on different races being represented as candidates and councillors too.

Perhaps Iain Lindley could explain how the roster of 32 candidates put up (100% unsuccessfully!) by the Tories in Manchester this May was more representative than the 32 Labour candidates?

UPDATE: Cllr Lindley is carrying on a triangular conversation over at his blog. He says there were some BME candidates in Manchester last time. As far as I know there has never been a visible BME Tory councillor in Manchester, ever. And we all know about the parliamentary situation. Apart from the throwing stones from glass houses aspect of this and the lack of recognition that large incumbent groups are of course hardest to change, there is the implicit idea that ministerial Hazel Blears cannot give a challenge to all parties in local government - including her own. That's silly.

Libdemologists: Calling Others for Nasty Campaigning

In glass houses lobbing bricks in an extraordinary way. Don't hesitate to click through and comment. Use your real identity if you can bear it. They are calling Tories in Cheadle who copied Lib Dem smears verbatim. And they are ganging up on a refugee Muslim Iraqi Woman that they deselected in Manchester Withington after two successful parliamentary campaigns - attacking her ... under the pathetic Lib Dem cover of anonymity.

Derrida He Say: "There are Only Just So Many Sayables"

Dizzy Thinks has been playing with himself his new phone and so confesses to missing a stampede of two who are all fired up by some clever clogs tosh from Danny Finkelstein in The Times.

The jackanory story is that Gordon Brown's speech is overly close in wordage to some stuff by one Mr Shrum. Oh Come On! Do you not understand Danny, and Dizzy, that there are only so many "sayables"?

Gordon has apparently lifted, during the course of a 60-minute speech the following idiosyncratic elements:

1. Too serious
2. (Not) let you down
3. Moral compass
4. Waste

I thought when Dizzy pointed me to Danny it was going to be a bit more spectacular than one Brown speech having nine words in common with FOUR Shrum influenced orations.

I am not impressed! This by the way is Shrum with a war story about Gore, Bush and grand larceny in Florida:

Top Economics Blogger: Balderdash and Piffle

I'd like to thing this was wry humour from Iain Dale but I fear he's making a serious point. Why on earth did no-one else make it first? Would that be because it is utter twaddle? Alas, yes.

Britain's economy is now fifth rather than fourth largest in the world apparently. Boo hoo says Iain, Gordon't failed. What poppycock!

This ranking (1) will inevitably change downward as the international development we support is achieved and (2) is an interesting but not locally important statistic.

When China and India with 20x the population overtake us with their people earning an average of 5p in every £ we should understand that this is progress.

Creosmanov: "A Low Life Gangster?" B-heads Timeline

The case so far is laid out in some detail here which is great. Sadly, though Tim is normally a very respectful chap, he has had a go at Alisher Usmanov's fat bloated Monty Pythonesque corpulence. LOL think that is utterly disgraceful. Size is not important. Though as Ariel Sharon allegedly once said in swatting away Benjamin Netanyahu: "Better the fat crooked bastard you know!"

We think perhaps Tim has confused Alisher Usmanov with his distant cousin the art lover Alisher Creosmanov (right).

From Lib Dem Street: Gordon Brown Solid & Dependable

Under the title "When a Vote Becomes a Wasted Vote" Suz confesses:

Never in my wildest dreams would I have thought I'd ever admit it but listening to Brown's speech he sounded solid and dependable pressing all the right buttons. Opposition activists will no doubt be screaming out "rubbish" or something ruder. I'm just considering how he is beginning to be perceived by the voting public, especially women, who are not particularly committed to any party.

In fact Suz thinks that this warmth towards Gordon is such a good opportunity that he'd be a fool to pass it up. She thinks it would - despite their "bring it on" talk - depress the Tory party heartily. Though they would get a chance to palm Dave off on some charity or think tank. Oxfam perhaps? Saw that blogged somewhere.

Suz has been reading what passes for "analysis" at Mr GuF's these days. Talking of a Lib Con coalition in the now hugely unlikely event of a hung parliament. Although Lib Dems are in such coalitions in for example Birmingham, York (de facto) and Leeds our independently minded former Lib Dem and current Brownite Suz wonders: "how does anybody dare suggest such an extraordinary idea?"

Suz would obviously much prefer to be in bed with Gordon rather than Dave-id, politically speaking.

PARENTAL GUIDANCE: Interesting commentary at GuFs, but bad ass swearing.

Bloggerheads Opinion Poll: Lib Dems to Form Government?

REWRITE UNDER THREAT OF SANCTIONS: There has been various movement in Tim's Bloggerheads Poll. Would you put Ming into Number 10? Is Gordon a keeper? Could Dave-id be the Great White Shark? Please do go over, support Tim's return, and vote.

Uzi Usmanov: "A Low Life Gangster?" Under European Parliamentary Privilege

As Chicken Yoghurt sets out here with links the law firm Schillings - assuming they are not in fact double agents working for non-visible forces of goodness - have seen to it that their most visible client's reputation lies in tawdry tatters.

Are they on a bonus for a mention in the OJ?

They also link to this MP3 of Labour UKIP MEP Tom Wise making his statement. Go listen - it's dynamite. (Originally from Matthias at Swiss Metablog).

Click To Play

Graphic is from Unity

Luke Akehurst: "Finally Some Good News" - anon

What a shame. I'm almost crying here. Blogger and sometime PPC Luke Akehurst failed to prosper in the Labour Party elections for the newly boosted National Policy Forum (NPF).

Luke labels the champion and runner up Nicky Gavron and Alon or-Bach as soft left and other defeatees, like himself, Laura Bruni, Francis Prideaux and Lorraine Monk are labelled as Grassroots Alliance.

There are no labels then for Lisa Holman and Joanne Milligan who got on, or for Luke hisself, Mike Katz, or Chris Roberts who did not.

Presumably all representing the "moderate" aka "hard right" wing of the party?

"Finally some good news" writes anon in Luke's comments ... that was LOL, pause, LOL again. Just short of ROFL.

But I have a serious question for Luke and his ilk when neither the unreasonable bolshy and impolite hard right loyallest member in the land (himself) nor the reasonable bolshy but soft spoken and polite (L, F and L) cannot have an input at this body on party policy:

The biggest group in the NEC representing CLP members (elected by OMOV and not by sadly often unrepresentative conference delegates) - broad-based McDonnellite-to-Brownite Grassroots Alliance - won no seats on the NPF. If this is indeed the new touchstone of party democracy this really isn't good enough is it? Well is it Luke?

Tory Press: Hillary for President, Gordon over Dave-id

Yes, that's Simon Burns MP and Rt Hon "On Your Bike Dave" Norman Tebbit. (Cue: howls of anguish from right and far left alike)

Iain Dale: Still Playfully Pulling Plonkers on Poll

Iain Dale's Diary squealled last night You Gov Poll Puts Labour Eleven Points Ahead and therefore persists with the fantasy that Gordon Brown will call an election within a week.

The election will EITHER be in June 2009 to coincide with the Euro Elections thereby busting any remote BNP chance of getting a seat and also making the best first for Labour of the reduced euro seatage OR in May 2008 alongside Town Hall, Unitary and County elections - winning some seats and controls back.

LOL favour the former as a Europhile anti-fash. But the latter will do the trick if the conditions are right come March 2008. But I would like my little, alright sporting, 100 weeks wager to come in.

NOTE TO NUMBSKULLS: Any boost for Labour in local government elections is unlikely to overcome an incumbent and strangely popular councillor with a decent majority who is also the second party PPC. Poor analysis, again.

Boris Johnson vs George Galloway: On Buggeration

Luke Akehurst nicked a story from The Weekly Worker without a hat tip. Miserable so and so. Apparently the leader of RESPECT, George Galloway MP has some Unresolved Equality Issues.

Calling his potential parliamentary election opponent names for voting for increased Equality for gay people. In fact Galloway, who voted the same way possibly against his instincts, has said this says Cllr Bob Piper in comments:

"This is the government that has lowered the age of consent for buggery."

Despite his own well known problems with Equality Issues in general Boris Johnson is wooing the pink vote with support for polygamy for any and all sexual preferences. Something like that. Not that he thinks all gays are as promiscuous as he is ...

YES, apparently Boris is from a long line of polygamists himself.

EXCLUSIVE: Was London Mayoral Hopefool Andrew Boff Just Staggeringly Unlucky with Web Clicks?

At the end of August Conservative Home contacted a stonking 300 or so London Tories and their question on the Mayoralty saw The Bozz dominating at 80% plus with The Boff in second just under 10%. We wonder if the situation remains the same now. What with Iain's Boris book being hyped, by Iain himself, as an Eats Shoots and Leaves sensation. Readers will no doubt not mind that all the best bits have been left out (and lefty bloggers are being advance scapegoated for that).






LOL have tried to be fair in our coverage but there are times when we do wonder about the London tories.

For just one example - why is Boris' head twice as big as any of the others on the top graphic. Is it just that he does have an exceptionally big head? And that he needs to be given more prominence in case Tory members overlook him?

At the foot of the Tories "London's Top Job" web page there is a panel which shows one or other of the four candidates each time the page is loaded or reloaded. I'd expected this might be alphabetical and always begin with Boff. But having been faced with the gurning visage of Mr Lightfoot, the last alphabetically, three times in a row LOL decided to conduct a scientifically controlled and peer reviewed experiment.

After ten clicks Lightfoot had been served up five times, double his quota, Johnson had two and Borwick three. But Boff had to wait until click 15 to get a look in.

After 50 clicks Mr Boff was still tailed off at just seven appearances. Borwick had 12, Johnson 14 - twice as many as poor Boff, and Lightfoot was still in the lead with a hefty 17.

After 100 clicks there was thankfully a little convergence. Lightfoot was still looking like the webmaster's friend at 32, Johnson was coasting on 26, with Boff just edging Borwick on 22 to her 20.

So, this is certainly bad design that is inherently likely to be unfair to some candidates or others on a typical number of visits for any potential voter. This will not be the 200 or so needed to make the shares fare.

But is it worse than that? Is there something about it that is systematically biased?

Perhaps the usual Tory kind of prejudices? The longer name with the more barrels the higher one reaches in society? Girls always at the feet of their betters? Women! Know your place!

Cricket stats (Small, squashed print)

All but Borwick had a hatrick - three wins in a row; Borwick like Boff had a maiden - ten clicks in a decile with no appearances; Borwick and Boff also led on singletons with three and two respectively, Johnson (2), Borwick (1) and Boff (1) enjoyed their Four Fors. But Mr Lightfoot had four four fors.

Mr Boff finally rose up the rankings with one Five For (five wins in a set of ten decile).

Naturally Lightfoot trumped this with two.

Boff and Borwick dominated the "longest streak of dot balls" at 14 and 13 respectively. Lighfoot 10, Johnson 9.

The best "Over" in the match came in the sixth decile as Boff scored on clicks 63, 64, 66, 67 and 68. Five scores from six balls.

Croydon: Mystery Shoppers for Don Letts Diary Date

[Press release]Croydon Clocktower are looking for regular live arts goers to become mystery audience members. If you are selected, you will on occasion receive invitations from us to see a designated live event, for which you will receive a pair of complimentary tickets. After the event we will email you a brief questionnaire which will ask you about the event and your experience watching it at the venue.

You must be able to provide details about yourself, such as name, age & occupation.[/press release]

THIS WEEK: opportunities to see Don Letts and Hysteria, Inspector Sands and
Stamping Ground Theatre.

Details at VENUE website or Mail Oliver RIGHT HERE.

Giuliani Rainmakers: Old School Cocaine? Prostitution? New School Cute $9.11 Donations

The funster Rudi Giuliani (above) has apparently got a couple of charmers
into cocaine and prostitution to raise him cash and profile. This is perhaps something young Boris could try too?

But it is not these good old boys but rather some fresh young minds who have come up with the idea of collecting $9.11 donations from lots of small people in memory of Rudi once being a mayor when something happened.

Hat Tip: Dizzy Thinks

Libdemologists: Insufficient Deaths, Too Much Rain

Hot on the heels of bankrupt Liverpool it seems the Lib Con alliance in Birmingham are looking for scapegoats as their budget runs riot.

Just as well that the Libdemologists and Con merchants themselves who set the budget are not to blame. If so there could be a rout at the polls next May.

So just who are the guilty parties? According to the Birmingham Post the buck passing Lib Cons say main culprits are:

1. Old Folk who just won't die - the old hold outs!

People aren't dying quickly enough for Birmingham City Council to be able to balance its books. A £1.2 million shortfall in income from burial and cremation services is the consequence of a healthier population and a sharp increase in life expectancy, the council cabinet has heard.

2. Orphans, waifs and strays - the little buggers!

An increase in the number of children being taken into care by social services – a figure that has been rising steadily for several years ... overspent by £3.5 million by the end of the year ... Les Lawrence ... said the number of young people in care had risen by more than 100 in a year to stand at 2,153. There was no way of predicting further increases which were largely the result of social trends, he added.

LOL: Apart from that history of rising steadily for several years Les?
Tory Les: "I defy anyone to fix a budget to cope with this."

3. Surprise rain in Britain - water hazard golf courses!

A £269,000 overspend in the leisure, sport and culture budget is being blamed on the wet summer, which hit income from the city's municipal golf courses.

These three alone account for £5M of the gaping £7M budget defecit. And Lib Cons still must find scapegoats for a further £30M of efficiency savings they must make.

Some suggestions, please add your own or examples of Lib Dem and Lib Con scapegoating when their sums don't add up, in comments:

A. Walking on pavements - causes unnecessary wear and tear!
B. Kids in schools - won't teach to syllabus!
C. Refuse collections - mucky citizens produce rubbish!

More often than not Libdemologists and Tories promise council tax freezes or council tax cuts. Then having had ten or twenty years slagging off councillors, officers and hands on workers alike they are faced with some hard decisions.

When inevitably their sums just don't add up they blame: OAPs for not dying, Waifs and strays for increasing 5%, and unseasonal rainfall. Quite right too! As Ming Campbell assured us in his conference speech all those months ago - only Lib Dems know how to run the economy.

HAT TIP: Returning hero Cllr Bob Piper

Blogger-darity: Now 251 Plus Yoghurt and Bob

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