Iain Dale's Diary: Nadine Dorries MP on Gypsies

The Old Hag gives Little Dorries the mind-Poisoning Apple

Iain Dale has rightly taken some heat from posting, and defending a nasty piece of work by Nadine Dorries, a Tory MP who at this rate needs de-selection or at very least her wings clipping a la Patrick Mercer. On Friday 13th which was unlucky.

That post is excreable it really is. And excrementous to boot.

Nothing racist AT ALL says Iain when even his right wing clientele find their eyebrows rising? You're having a laugh ain't ya, well ain't ya?

The only thing that might have made it less than full on racist (but it doesn't) is the clever way the mid-Bedfordshire bigot has conflated Irish travellers, Gypsies (er, Tramps and Thieves too, lest we forget), and anyone who travels into some poorly remembered (but uniformly not genial and not loveable) mass of caravaners.

Is this a side swipe at Margaret Beckett? Or do Nadine and Iain really believe that taking responsibility away from local authorities for providing sites was a progressive and justifiable thing to do? Would Dave/id Cameroonie, the nu-age cuddly Tory gentle-man, and ex Bully Bullingdon Bullshitter, take the responsibility back off them?

Goodness knows travellers of all stripes can be one side of some local friction when they pitch up at non-sites with no waste disposal, plumbing or access. But that's the point. Sites with waste handling, plumbing and power and proper access make sense and Nadine Dorries MP is sadly a gibbering bigot.

Travellers cannot even buy land and create their own properly managed static sites because of rampant NIMBYISM. I covered some of this as a cub-reporter circa 1985 and in that case the "problem" was Showmen who travel with Fairs for six months of the year - enterprising, mobile, flexible, licensed and respectable businesses - and need a settled site for the other six months.

The objectors - including stalwart socialists and Labourists I'll have you know - wished the site to be transferred from some very suitable land in Collyhurst to some very unsuitable land in Rusholme (now regenerated as the heart of the curry mile). Why? Because the Cllr responsible - one Arnold Spencer - lived there.

Pathetic. It's difficult. But, sorry Iain, Nadine is ga-ga. And you are showing signs of this by linking to her excreable views. Makes me spit.

Whatever next? The way we do things in England does not include the smell of curry cooking, the extravaganza of carnival, the mounting of chavi satellite dishes, or alas the frummy curls (and hot girls allegedly at this link) of those orthodox jews over there?

Just in case you're thinking what I'm thinking ... the family name Dörries is apparently from the German: from a reduced pet form of the medieval personal name Isidor(i)us (Greek Isidoros, from Isis, the name of an originally Egyptian goddess + doron ‘gift’). These days the "overseas" Dorries clan are mainly settled in Lancashire, UK and Illinois, USA. It is not certain whether they reached the latter c 1860-1890 in a Caravan or on a new-fangled railroad. Five family members fought for the Union side in the civil war. The Bedfordshire crew might have been for the racist rednecks I fear.

COINCIDENCE: Interesting feature on the top-500 British Family Names in The Observer.

Peter Tatchell: Got Up Jailhouse Lawyer's Nose

John Hirst has this following the Tatchell interview substitued for the missing Mike Read's Mayoral Interview on 18 Doughty Street last week.

Peter Tatchell is I fear being rather misrepresented. What he was saying surely - and it was clear enough - was that 14 year olds in some countries and of all genders and preferences are legally allowed or practically tolerated HAVING SEX with one another with a narrow band of similar age. NOT Tatchell screwing 14-year-old boys. 14-year-old boys and girls screwing other 14-year-old boys and girls.

There is a huge difference between that proposal which is de facto law anyway and the smear being presented for the prosecution.

You may not agree with freedom for 14-year-olds in this regard, or perhaps you do. But that's another question.

EXCLUSIVE Burnage: Why (Like Arsonists) Do Weak Lib Dem Councillors Return to their Crime?

Picture of gurningly miserable man with burnt bus and list of his many "achievements" in three years of power to follow shortly.

Fibby On T' Fence: Fibs Vote To Keep Crappy Logo

Last comments on Lib Dem Voice's Poll on ditching their absurdy birdy:

Matthew Says:
April 1st, 2007 at 6:06 pm
...
It’s appropriate to keep the bird, as after the 2009 general election when we enter a coalition with the Conservatives, our birdy can perch in a branch of the tory green tree.

Bird Watcher Says:
April 7th, 2007 at 10:30 pm
We should have a bird flying to the right with a very small left wing for Tory areas and a bird flying to the left with a very small right wing for Labour areas. In Nationalist areas we are probably going to be shot down in flames anyway. But perhaps tartan and dragon scale versions could be developed?

Manc Boy Says:
April 11th, 2007 at 9:42 am
How about a rat?

Chris Paul Says:
April 13th, 2007 at 10:15 pm
Manc Boy - I didn’t send you here to say “How about a rat?” although the Chorlton Fibber is trying a rat on his this time round. Some nonsense about it being a Labour rat … but we all know that if you’ve got rats you get in a cat like my killer Tilley and you don’t get in a silly bird called Fibby. Fibby on a Fence (above) makes quite a good combination though.

Burnage: Rattled Out 850 Frank Duffy Leaflets

We also threw a cheery wave to the Lib Dem Cllr Donaldson across the Kingsway. His responding arm went up like lightning at a 45 degree angle but looked nothing whatsoever like sneaky seig heil mimicry, though perhaps like a man wanting to ask a question.

Sneaky Sieg Heils are SO distinctive don't you think? For the time being the LOL graphics department have been warned off sticking Donaldson's head onto a Nazi figure. Though if they happen to come across a genuine picture of the man with his arm straight out just above shoulder height then they have a green light. We've noticed he's been studiously NOT pointing at lamp posts and road signs this season.

Obviously any sneaked pictures of the incident from the chamber will be more than welcome. We know there were camera 'phones in there though the rumour of a candid CCTV camera is as yet unsubstantiated.

The incident? Oh, the time when Donaldson is alleged to have made a Nazi salute during a speech from Cllr Afzal Khan. He claims he was trying to get the Chair's attention to speak. But that really doesn't wash. The Lib Dems sans MP staged another blooming walk out. But were back in time for their municipal trough swill.

All Donaldson's leaflets I've seen begin by saying he's "hard working". That too doesn't wash. And soon enough I'll explain why I say that. It's there on the leaflets clear as day if you know how to read them.

POSTSCRIPT: I finished off my Chorlton iD wad yesterday evening before you ask.

Michael Meacher: Fair's Fair, What a GSOH He Has

Well, it's true. Following a parliamentary enquiry and a flurry of emails round the blog team Michael Meacher DID post my comment on his blog. It has taken me 25 minutes to find it there so here it is with someone's cheeky chappy comment added. Don't know when it was actually put up. Not as the time stamp. So oh go on then Dan, here's your appreciation. Thanks for posting my comment after four days. Buried under more bad news. And an apology: Sorry for not noticing.

Meanwhile I must also say that Michael's website and blog is brighter, in appearance at least, though the colour-clash flower I've pruned from the top doesn't work.

If nothing else the upcoming leadership and deputy contests are setting some new standards for parliamentary web sites.

Tom Watson MP: BBC's Alan Johnston, Missing But *Alive* (link) in Gaza

As Tom Watson MP blogs:
You can sign the petition or join the facebook group. OK it’s not a lot but it shows solidarity.

Manchester blogger Stephen Newton has a round up of the scandal of journalists killed and wounded in action and things you can do to help campaign for protection for frontline heroes of the press.

Michael Meacher: What a Cheeky Old Facebook Comrade He Still Is

Michael still has 56 Facebook members, none of whom has the power of nomination, but he has finally stopped nicking my "Class Act" comment out of context like some third-rate theatrical impressario.

He also removed my guillotine graphic (right) though some persistent blogger bloke has put it back, and so it see-saws onwards to humiliation for the rentier blogger who needs a PA using a parliamentary email address and a committee meeting to pass or likely spike a bloke's blog comment.

Screen grabs may follow. But is he worth it?

One Michael supporter - BECAUSE of the conspiracy theories - Matthew Devereaux Edwards has been assailing me with Aikido quotes, links and metaphors.

Perhaps I can add one from the grandmaster of St Catherine's, Jamaica: The Harder They Come, The Harder They Fall, One And All.

UPDATE: Michael's Researcher and in his own time campaign assister Dan Judelson has posted a couple of comments here and informs me that eventually some kind of link to my guillotine did appear on Michael's blog. I'll take a look and report back.

Iain Dale: Bloody Magistrates Are Revolting

Iain Dale had a post yesterday on a magistrate who has resigned as he doesn't like a sort of flat rate admin-come-restitution levy of £15 that they have to apply. Including to what the old fool calls "victimless crimes" whatever they are. He was an 'Alan'.

But fines are pretty arbritary anyway. Don't suppose this old buffer would have had a problem if there had been an unexplained £15 flat rate hike across the board? Not linked to restitution which may have been a presentation mistake - for some audiences at least.

We had our own Magistrate Alan (another Tory methinks?) making and getting away with "bloody foreigners" comments around the same time as Col "Blimp" Mercer got his.

And he allegedly used to boast at work (for a Council in the North, and he was a very lazy slacker by repute) how he had escaped punishment for drunken and dangerous driving (at 10 am in the morning) by pulling the "don't you know who I am" plus "I'm on my way to Sunday School" tricks.

Still - he didn't mow anyone down that time. It was a victimless non-crime thanks to his pulling rank.

Bloody Magistrates!

So It Goes: Kurt Vonnegut is Gone

British Broadcasting Corporation, New York Times, Washington Post, London Times, and the Manchester Guardian.

Here is a 25-year-old Obit from the San Francisco Chronicle from a long-dead writer. And THIS is a Paris Review interview from Spring 1977.

Google Maps: New York to Felixstowe the Hard Way

Try the above search at Google Maps and pay particular attention at point 23. This goes some way to explain the duration of the journey.

But how fast should leg 23 be completed if other sections average 40 mph?

EXCLUSIVE Mili Vanilli: Dress Rehearsal Scoop

Now they're giving contestants props for the final run through. But please don't tell Gordon. It's a surprise Okey-Cokey Koronation Karoake. This is an Update on This.

Dale on Mike Read: "The bastard!" Two Faced to Boot

"The bastard," mutters Dale. "He said that he asked someone to phone us last week, because he's 'on a charity walk' today. But no one did, and that's not much use with a live broadcast. Instead, we're going to re-broadcast an hour of Peter Tatchell. That seemed a fitting replacement."

Hat tip to DizzyThinks for pointing it out.

Leadership as X Factor: Leadership Nominations Online in Real Time

Perhaps instead it's Jeux Sans Frontieres: Games Without Frontiers, Wars Without Tears? Or Eurovision Song Contest: And from our North East jury: Charles Clarke Nul poins! Et cetera, et cetera and ad nauseum.

New Labour apparently intend to give hourly updates on leadership nominations on the website to engender interest in the country.

Nominations from MPs are due to be put up on the Labour party website on a near hourly basis as part of a plan to increase traffic and interest in the election. MPs will be given three Westminster sitting days to canvass nominations. Any candidate receiving more than 45 votes would have to accept or decline the nomination.

Over three days the competition will see twists and turns, analysis and speculation, as Gordon's alleged 200 nominations are farmed out carefully to keep things live.

Will any other candidate stage an ambush by keeping their powder dry until day three? Will some Brownies be swayed by the smell of the greasepaint, the roar of the paper tigers, and the froth of the rigged ITV phone vote operating alongside?

Will Miliband get a quick 50 nominations without even declaring? Will they be made transferrable in case Mili Vanilli declines? Will Brown deliberately lend some of his nominations out with plenary indulgences? To anyone-but-Mili?

Or will there perhaps be a show of force with Meacher's three being blasted onto the chart immediately for an early lead? To dine out over in dotage with family, friend(s), not to forget all his tenants. "I led the leadership contest once, you know? Now where's your rent you lumpen prole?"

Letter from Stoke-on-Trent: Tarus' Visa Letter

Well, it has arrived. Tarus is out running so we'll have to wait and see what it says. 28 days to get out we expect. More anon as they say.

John Harris: We will soon find out how bold Brown is ready to be

Harris, Brown, Blair and Bono ... all dreaming.

John Harris has blogged-for-Brown in the Guardian's Comment is Free. I continue to be very disappointed with the chattering but inaction from Compass and I replied :

Hello John,
As you know my contribution as a co-conspirator on your SNWDWVF blog project was to reject the idea that a reduced Labour majority would shift the party leftwards as the SCG held the balance of power and to urge voters to stand by Labour. I suggested that instead of this dream balance of power scenario Blair would rely on Tory votes to see his programme through.
Told you so! The same for my money would apply if the Lib Dems were notionally holding the whip hand. They are mavericks and apolitical crackpots and a Grand Alliance might be prefered to relying on them.
Look what they have done in Scotland! Constantly carping about decisions made by the Lib-Lab pact there. Even when they hold the portfolios!
Although we must - as socialists - live in hope, Gordon Brown's ascent to the throne would only be a small and partial recovery for Labour. It might be too little too late. And I must say even for the hopeful it is rather depressing to watch your moral Compass DO NOTHING but chatter and stand by watching Brown's coronation.
Don't you lot have anything about you? To ensure a challenge from both the Left in the shape of McDonnell AND the Centre Left in the shape of ... who knows. Aren't they members of the Compass group of MPs?
Whatever you may imagine Brown is but a small step back to "when we are Labour" and it is essential for the sanity and integrity of our party that he must have to treat with the party and movement to his left as well as, and indeed as more of a priority than with the much much smaller but more bullish forces to his right which provide ALL the challengers you mention.
Robin Cook was a good man. He made a principled decision over the Iraq war, which is more than can be said for the chump Michael Meacher, but he was a loyalist to a fault and a good long way from "when we are Labour" in most matters.
New Labour's marketisation and privatisation have been at the heart of Brown's economic miracle. A three card trick of delivering spending while holding tax in check. I'd rather pay more and not be in hock to the banks for 25 years. I'd certainly rather pay more than be in hock to Tories or Lib Dems for even one year.
Come on Compass! Come on the Parliamentary Labour Party. Stop faffing about. Let's have four or five names on the leadership ballot with at least two to the left of Brown. Let's have the debate Charles and Alan DO NOT want. And let's be Labour again.
Comradely greetings
Chris Paul

PS Have you got your NUJ form in yet John? There's no need for the cuttings. We know who you are and where you live.

Gweirdo: What If Recess Monkey Did Newsnight?

From er Gweirdo, didn't I say?

Exclusive: Tatchell Supports Righteous Assassination in extremis But Redemption for Saddam

18 DOUGHTY STREET: Asked when and where he'd like to be in history in some past interview Tatchell said "January 1933 in the garden of Ribbentrop's Berlin house ready to assassinate Adolf Hitler". But Mugabe he thinks should be assassinated by a black Zimbabwean and not by his good self. Iain Dale tries to extend that to support for the war on Iraq. But Tatchell wouldn't play. Will be interesting to see how Iain blogs this later. The interview is continuing. And will be archived HERE.

.. Tatchell has just claimed he had the opportunity on interrupting a motorcade - in an anti-war protest - to assassinate Blair! He says he spotted the fatal flaw in the armour plating of the limo. But as he believes in non-violence and didn't have his Uzi on him Teflon Tone was safe ...

IMAGE: Mugabe in Manchester.
WHY WAS IT TATCHELL?: Missed the start of the programme and didn't see why Mike Read was off. Just checked the ID and he pulled out at 3pm. The Tatchell interview was off the peg though this was not clear from the screening.

Google Adsense: Having an Almighty Struggle - Help!

Just now there are three or possibly four Ad panels showing on my template but just one advert showing on the live page. If anyone can advise on how to wrestle with the controls successfully I'd be glad of the help. What I'm aiming at is a smallish box top left, a thin links box immediately under the masthead (as Stephen Newton has), and some adverts embedded at the foot of first couple of posts (as DizzyThinks has), and that'll be that.

Blogger is also refusing to deal with uploads of pictures or graphics as page elements. For example I was trying to put the hats logo with the Withington index. Aaaargh.

Iain Dale: First of the Tory Mayoral Candidates to Die on Web TV Channel 18 Doughty Street

Iain Dale has a washed up DJ name of Mike Read on his prog tonight. Ostensibly to ask him about how his fading career can be revived by being a losing Tory Mayoral candidate. No that's wrong. How London's booming fortunes can be wrecked by replacing the incumbent cheeky chappy with Mike Read. A boring, inexperienced egotist with no skills and achievements to speak of. Oh he did write some crappy tunes like this one - "2nd floor: A Dirty Old Man, 3rd Floor: A Couple of Drag Queens ..."

Iain should ask him about these famous Cheeky Girls. Guido has tabulated the Tory tossery and linked to Dale's story about the Lib Dems being all of a dither. Not like them.

UPDATE: Read pulled out, er, at around 3pm or was it 3:35pm?!

Manchester City Council: Some Interesting and Strange Nominations

Twenty wards, of 32, have the standard vanilla quota of Tory, Fibs, Green and Labour. But in twelve there will be some wooden spoon interest as independents and specials vie with the Tories.

In alphabetical order, with a couple of vanilla wards with interest:

Ancoats and Clayton: John Hulse, allegedly with some murky associations with the NF, stands as an independent while the Libs do stick with Danny Valentine, also with some murky associations.
Baguley: Lynn Worthington is an Independent Socialist Save Our Baby Unit, which is interesting.
Charlestown: UKIP are in the pot and the Lib Dems field Whalley Ann Rodgers as a paper tiger.
Cheetham: Former councillor and PPC for Gorton the news whore solicitor Mr Kassim Afzal is dropped for taxi man Sham Raja. Nice chap, no chance.
Chorlton Park: sadly just the four, including our very own star John Hacking.
City Centre: sees an Independent Kin Cheng which is a very interesting development and worth a separate blog later. Kathy Crotty for Labour. Whiney Rob Adlard for Tories. Absentee and almost de-selected Lib Dem Kenny Dobson defending. And Brigit Vollm for the Greens.
Didsbury East: "Chicken" Geoff Bridson (Labour) tackles Helen "D" Fisher (Lib Dem). What a lightweight!
Didsbury West: UKIP PPC Robert Gutfreund-Walmsley is on the ballot.
Gorton South: Sabrina J Jones is standing as TUSP which I think may be The United Socialist Party but is could be a coincidental Tenants' thing. This is the home seat of the wobbling Lib Dem leader Simon Ashley with Julie Reid standing for no nonsense Labour.
Harpurhey: Bullock's for UKIP.
Higher Blackley: Joe Finnon, the student rabble rouser and undercover infiltrator moves across from Fallowfield. This was for a time hot Fash country with a sadly departed Lamb and Flag PH a focus. Shirley Reeve of UKIP also pitches for the right wingers.
Hulme: Former PPC Steve Durrant and anti-fash and anti-war activist (Green) stands again after being humbled into third last time in the Green's "stronghold". Will Cllr Vanessa do photocalls with candidates this time. Or is she still too self-important and picky?
Miles Platting and Newton Heath: Yes, we have Derek Adams for the BNP (he's bananas), Lisa Duffy competing with him in UKIP colours, June Hitchin for Labour and erstwhile Lab, Ind, UKIP now Lib Dem Damien O'Connor.
Moston: Some kind of Rellie of Shirley (Higher Blackley) Peter Reeve makes a matching pair across the boundary.
Rusholme: Nahella Ashraf is Respect's candidate. Bit too keen on the Labour bashing even among friends - e.g. Tony Lloyd MP at Pakistan Earthquake appeal supper had to hear a silly tirade. But she's a good worker.

Some of the Lib Dems go plain, some go "For a Fairer Britain", and some are "Focus Team". Strangely there are no candidates on a platform of an "Unfairer Britain" which means Ann Rodgers and the rest pass the LOL nonsense test.

Manchester City Council: In Half An Hour Nominations Are Published

When they are we will post a link HERE (Should be midday. Not live 12:15, 12:25, hurrah 12:35).

UPDATE: there are a few surprises, enough to blog separately, soon.

This much we know: Respect are NOT standing in Cheetham Hill and are encouraging a vote for Labour's Afzal Khan who has been stalwart anti-war campaigner, a great Lord Mayor and is thoroughly positive about immigration. Respect will stand in Rusholme, aiming to improve on their excellent 800 votes of 2006.

There may also be some independent socialist action in the Council Estates which recently voted for stock transfer and £114M of improvements. Burnage and Fallowfield in particular. Perhaps Chorlton Park.

The National Front stood in Manchester Central in 2005, polling less than the BNP did in ONE ward over EIGHT wards. Expect the BNP in Miles Platting and Newton Heath where the Lib Dem candidate has been a councillor (1), stood for (2), or at least temporarily been a been a member of (3) Labour (123), Independent (123), UKIP (23) and now Lib Dems (23).

Calling him a criminal is a bit harsh as it was only a couple of years fiddling his benefits. When he stood in the General and Local elections of 2005 and 2006 he had at least one helper with an NF history.

The BNP have also stood in Fallowfield - putting up the student chancer who infiltrated NW Respect and was the Treasurer for their Euro Campaign - and in Gorton South where they trounced Greens, UKIP and Tories, in that order.

Other interesting points from the Lib Dems will be whether they run with Danny Valentine again in Ancoats and Clayton, and whether they managed to convince the Green Party to take part in any shenanigans to help them out. Let's hope not.

As for the Tories - apart from their vocal but idle man in the muddle - all eyes will be on how Dave/id's mission to Wythenshawe to get down with hoodies and bouncers pays off in his candidate list for the area.

YouGov Polls: You Too Can Be Heard

YouGov are always looking for more people to take their polls. You can sign up HERE. The remuneration is but slight - lots of prize draws and 50p a shot - but you can also spread the word pyramid stylee and get paid for polls your recruits take as well. Can't be bad.

LibDem Polling: You Too Can Be Heard, Should 'Fibby' Stay or Should She Go Now?

Lib Dem Voice is running a poll on whether the absurd Bird of Fibbery should be superceded. But - just as Fib Dems voted against Lembit Opik for President when he wanted to stop running down opponents - Fib Dems are voting for the Fibbery to continue unchecked, flitting from branch to branch whispering porkies, squitting slime onto our pavements and fences (above), and more pestilent than a Trafalgar Square pigeon.

You too can vote. Above as promised the crapulent Kerron Cross Clan graphic cleaned up for the 21st Century. Aaaargh, I've posted the old one. New one below.

Luke Akehurst: If You Missed The Labour Achievement Film (LAF) Here's Luke

Luke's Blog yesterday covers The Observer on Tony Blair thinking he has been stitched up a bit and some of the key achievements glossed over. But here they are. And they are good. Town Hall achievements in places like Manchester and Hackney are also impressive as we face Local Government elections here - NOT a referendum on Foreign Policy.

Dale says "Boomerang": We say "Chance to Practice Gaelic" and Silly Innuendo

We were fascinated to read that the two bonnie lassies who found themselves abed with the quixotic SNP 'member' Angus MacNeil are one half of the gaelic grrrl power folk band Teine. We're not quite sure how that should be pronounced? Teeny perhaps? Tiny? But as we say in the gaelic: Is fheàrr teine beag a gharas na teine mòr a loisgeas. The little fire that warms is better than the big fire that burns. Or "Size doesn't matter". And remember if you ever find find yourself newly elected, alone and lonely, bladdered and soon to be a dad in a hotel bar and you spy two lovelies: Bàthaidh uisge teth teine. Hot water will quench fire. Hot shower and self-service-you-can-trust saves getting into hot water.

It's Started: This was Posted on an Ancient LoL Post

This article is fantastic; the information you show us is very interesting and is really good written. It’s just great!! Do you want to know something more? Read it... Glass Bongs and Bong featuring Herbal Smoke, water bongs, bongs online head shop, Marijuana Alternative,glass water bongs, Hashish, Ganja, homemade bongs, Smokeshop, cannibis, legal smoking alternatives for herbal highs and aphrodisia. http://www.breadshopinternational.com

Really chuffed. I have a discerning fan called Celia. She wants to sell hash on my site. Cheers. If that URL works it shouldn't as it's been fixed.

The last time I heard the "It's Started" line was from a fellow pet "long dog" owner as one of mine failed miserably at the simulated coursing at Tatton Country Fair.

Being pets they hate muzzles, which must be worn, and being part urban they have seen more plastic bags blowing about than you can shake a stick at. They know they are not tasty if caught. All three, and this fellow's pet, were very embarrassing. Though me lurchers won best pair in show.

Life on Mars: It's A Wonderful Life

Terrific telly. Beating up the wrong man. Constantly. Heaven and Earth. Life and Death. Love and Hate. BAFTA and RTS. The Shameless of 06-07. The Talking Heads track Heaven would have been fully a decade out of time. But there was plenty of that in this series. This is the tune and the lyric that came to my mind towards the denouement.

Everyone is trying to get to the bar.
The name of the bar, the bar is called Heaven.
The band in Heaven plays my favorite song.
They play it once again, they play it all night long.

Heaven is a place where nothing ever happens.
Heaven is a place where nothing ever happens.

There is a party, everyone is there.
Everyone will leave at exactly the same time.
Its hard to imagine that nothing at all
could be so exciting, and so much fun.

Heaven is a place where nothing ever happens.
Heaven is a place where nothing ever happens.

When this kiss is over it will start again. It will not
be any different, it will be exactly the same.
It's hard to imagine that nothing at all
could be so exciting, could be so much fun.

Heaven is a place where nothing every happens.
Heaven is a place where nothing every happens. MP3 HERE

TRIVIA MOMENT: This was perhaps the stand out song of the pre-purge Simply Red, Just Red, Simply Mick etc experimental band. A kind of Al Green fronts Buzzcocks. The smoothed out band did include it on their debut Picture Book.

Myself and Brooky who now lives at the other end of my road - as City Life Magazine - promoted the Red's last home town gig, at the late lamented Tropicana on Oxford Street, before they signed to Seymour "I must have that voice" Stein's Elektra.

Mog was the bass player in the rougher hewn version. Doreen sang BVs in both. The Cousins did 20 arena gigs with them to kick off their world tour 99-00. The band worked as a jazz-folk trio (NME) and this pissed Mick off as he liked the Bass and Drums on our recordings.

United vs Roma: Eight - Three Monstering

Last time I blogged United after six minutes - 3-0 up - they collapsed and only just held on at 3-2. Which would not have been enough tonight. After the first I predicted 6-0 and can be satisfied that it was a six goal margin.

Meanwhile one of Geoff's eggs - converted into a rubbery bouncing bomb - has actually exploded in son's room. Very little effect given the normal skanky detritus and debris.

On The Knocker: Chorlton

Spent 90 minutes out on the knocker in Chorlton just before tea time. Decided to knock even on the known againsts this time.

In some ways these are the most interesting. EVERY SINGLE ONE is happy with the way Manchester Labour is running the City. SOME have specific praise, for example for the bright new street lights.

Our own tribal supporters can be the most demanding. Did you know that Labour and Tories each have about 30% tribal supporters? And the Lib Dems only about 2%? Topped up with Against voters and ditherers. With the other 35% plus in play.

K and H know that Manchester Labour are terrific. But they hate Blair. The fact he's going transfers that hate by STV to Brown. They'll vote for Scargill or Galloway if they get the chance. Otherwise Green.

E and M report some issues with a licencing application although they are a long way from any licenced premises and the nearest two to their address have closed. However one of them is involved with a Club which sells alcohol and that may be it. Died in wool, true blue, but very fond of Tony Lloyd MP and won't dabble with the Lib Duds.

G strongly dislikes negative campaigning, as does LOL as you will be able to tell from the blog, but is right to feel that the Lib Dems are far worse on this as they continue to make idiots of themselves in smudgy print. Back with us.

J and M are Labour at heart but a compulsory purchase around seven or eight years ago - just as the market was picking up - left them feeling out of pocket. They know the Fib Duds are useless and will vote Green this time.

The "outs" win as ever. But of the "ins" we're ahead of any other party and in fact have a lead on all combined. It's only a small sample but it is always good to meet and greet real residents.

Moved on to campaign pictures in Chorlton Park. Lack of juice in 'phone means I miss a slot on the knocker there.

United vs Roma: Three-Nil in 18 Minutes

Aggregate 4-2 and counting.

What's This About?: Dog Walkers' Dirty Protest

Clueless dog walkers in the Mersey Valley appear to be making a point by putting dog pooh into little plastic bags and if they are shameless Lib Dem types chucking them in the bushes or if clever Greens and Tories starting little cairns all over the place - where, presumably, they think there should be dog bins at their convenience.

Well, it's not big and it's not clever. Dog waste bins away from city parks, never mind in the middle of wild country, are hard to sustain. Do these idiots imagine a pack of pooh rangers with rucksacs touring constantly to keep these scenic bins from brimming over?

Apart from which dog pooh before insertion into plastic bags is bio-degradeable and enjoyed by small and microbial woodland creatures; so get a stick and move it out of harms way - off piste. Or if you really want to increase the amount of pooh in plastic bags in land fill or making black smoke over incinerators then bag it and take it home.

Making cairns of pooh-in-plastic is quite frankly idiotic.

UPDATE: This post is dedicated to "Anonymous Troll" and the featured pooh cairn has now been cleared.

Burnage Campaign: Working Every Day to Elect Frank Duffy

Let's get Frank Duffy elected! Today twenty supporters turned out to deliver leaflets and letters across the ward. What a relief it must be for local people to get an honest word from an honest politician. Frank Duffy's Lib Dud opponent is the man reported to Standards and featured in the Manchester Evening News for allegedly making a Nazi salute during a speech from Cllr Afzal Khan in the Council Chamber.

Some incredulous local residents gave us copies of the Fib Dud effort and to be frank it stank. May blog it later.

Picture shows Frank after a Secret Santa effort to fix a Burnage resident's pergola which had blown down in strong winds.

If someone puts something to rights in Burnage without a fuss ... it's probably Frank Duffy.

PARBURY ANECDOTES: To follow soon.

Labour of Love Log Jam: There are Twenty Drafts on my Dashboard

Never was much of a completer-finisher to use Belbin's term. Expect an avalanche of posts over the next couple of days. Including: What we actually did with Geoff's eggs.

Willie Rennie: In The Sea, In The Sea, In The Sea

Cllr John Leech MP's buddy Willie Rennie MP is getting all knotted once again. Remember, the pair of them stood up together and asked probing questions about dumb cluster bombs and both have signed three laudable EDMs on the matter.

Only trouble is that Willie used to part-own and work for McEwan Purvis, the PR Agency which glossed the truth for multinational Raytheon - one of the world's biggest arms dealers and a maker of cluster bombs, bunker busters and all sorts of nasties. Rennie has even been to their factory since his shock election - a couple of constituencies away - and glad handed and soundbited about how great these purveyors of fun sized amputations and worse actually are.

He was well-paid to spin for the firm. He was well-paid for his shares. And now he is well paid to make hypocritical speeches, at the HoP.

Well, Ridiculous Politics brings a new twist. While slapping the Unions at Rosyth on the back and saying he is on side he has also been spotted in at least five clandestine meetings with bosses.

I've got to be honest I think Gordon Brown may be getting a new MP at the next election as this Lib Dem is even worse than the mediocre average.

Classless Society: Forged on the Playing Fields of Eton

"It was not often that a blogger could describe "classless" George Osborne as 'Far Left'. But then Dizzy remembererd that life's a stage, and stage left is Far Right."
Few days ago now Dizzy published a justification for surreal Toffs in government. Basically he said that if they're good enough then they're good enough. But there's a thought. Are they good enough? No, no, no.

Class mobility in both directions is overstated rather. The two questions for Osborne, Cameron and Johnson (and the other Etonian fuckwits) ought to be :

"If they were part of the Bullingdon Bullies Bollinger club with habitual activities including restaurant smashing, fox cub monstering, booze and drugs in excess ... can you be rehabilitated?"
and
"Why the hell are there so many Old Etonians on man-of-the-people DC's front bench ... actually quite a few of them are rather dim, but not nice. Not just toffs, but uber toffs."

PICTURE KEY and more from The Daily Mail.

Aaargh-sclusive: The BNP Field Candidates in Every Single Leeds Metro Seat

The fascist BNP are fielding candidates - hopefully not all harbouring 22 explosive components in their garage or race-hate in their hearts - in every ward in Leeds Metro.

This is a worrying development and we must hope that all those opposed to their disgusting politics will unite, not squabble. Keep them out!

The BNP also have a craven candidate in Skipton, though it is not the no-coon-jokes disgraced ex-LibDem mayor.

Anyone having the slightest doubt that the BNP are fascists in suits can observe the black-shirted Burnley BNP-er in LOL's picture (right).

He was remonstrating with police in support of a disgusting NF/Combat 18 protest (above) at Manchester Pride last summer and against our anti-fascist picket of it.

Dale Exclusive: Ministers Do Constituency Speeches

Iain Dale has this "hedging your bets" exclusive:

Ann Keen is a loyal woman. She's also PPS to the Prime Minister in waiting Gordon Brown. It's safe to say that she doesn't breathe without his say so. So it's all the more interesting to learn that she has invited David Miliband to speak to her Brentford & Isleworth Constituency Labour Party in May. Well, as Talleyrand might say, I wonder what she means by that...

Phew! Hold the front page. But what about this one, spelling corrected:

Labour North West Gala Dinner with special guest Rt. Hon David Miliband MP Secretary of State for Environment, Food and Rural Affairs
April 2007 (venue hush hush) ...
I am delighted that the Environment Secretary, David Miliband MP has kindly agreed to be our guest speaker. The dinner will be hosted by Salford MP and Chair of the Labour Party, the Rt Hon Hazel Blears MP.

Went to one of these in 2005. McCartney hosted - it was in Wigan. (This new one may be in Salford). Brown was Guest of Honour. Blears facilitated access to Brown for your blogger without having to pay the premium for Platinum tickets.

It was a day after Pope John Paul II died and Brown scrapped his political speech and was fantastic on support for developing countries. Without notes. More frightening was a complete lack of raffles and auctions out of respect for a dead pontiff. Very strange. They still had the Beetle Drive at the Vatican Cardinals Social Club after all.

What next Iain? "Blears seen in same room as Brown, Miliband, Johnson, Hain, Prescott and Harman?" and "Blears Backs Prescott for Crown".

If you got Hazey in a room with McDonnell - other than the chamber at the HoP - or Cruddas I'd be more impressed.

MacLibdemologists: Committed to Cut Crimes ... Committed by Lib Dems

Both Labour and Tories have spotted this cutting, and OK the Tories (Wale's second party(?!): Iain Dale), though not Dale, did get there first.

Fib Dems also have a heart-warming story about a Lib Dem MSP making a property killing (almost like Michael Meacher) on the tax-payer. Thank goodness John Leech isn't profiteering like this.

Come to think of it though, how much is John Leech's flat in London worth now, compared to what he paid for it less than two years ago? How much was the price under the odds at the time? And why didn't "honest John" insist on paying the correct price?

Will Angela Gallagher ever see sofas and drapes her contributions paid for? And is Leech REALLY trying to oust his main benefactor (£23,000 declared ++) using tax payers money for obviously party political leaflets?

Guardian Letters: Fawcett Society on Date Rape Drugs

In today's Guardian The Fawcett Society's Jon Collins has a letter published:

The Advisory Council on the Misuse of Drugs is right to be concerned about the seriousness of drug-facilitated sexual assault (New evidence on date rape prompts call for drugs ban, April 3). However, by focusing on the behaviour of the victim when giving suggestions on how risk can be reduced, for example in advising women not to go out alone, we risk missing the bigger picture. The focus of prevention work must be on changing the behaviour of perpetrators of sexual assault, not its victims. Women should be safe to go to clubs, pubs or parties without being at risk of sexual assault - anything else will be an admission of failure.
Jon Collins
Senior policy officer, Fawcett Society

There have recently been a number of faux jury programmes on telly. Contrived but engaging. Lord Archer was among the jurors on the latest.

The possible maverick parliamentary candidate Rosie Boycott was required to review this and stated on Newsnight review :

"Archer could not even be on a jury as a convicted felon". And she went on "We've reached the point in Britain where rape is a virtually unpunishable crime". And Spare Rib founder Rosie added that get taken to court and, given the statistics, you'd need to have done 20 rapes to get one conviction.

Archer is still in the Lords after perjury over a sexual liaison. The working class muslim boxer Prince Naseem meanwhile following dangerous driving ... is stripped of his MBE.

Thousands walk free from rape every day. I would say that the exact same number have this brutal invasion - still permitted by our system - to live with. But in fact walk free rapists and date rapists are very often serial offenders. And powerful men in respectable positions are perpetrators as well as smirking lads.

FOOTNOTE: One woman I know in Chorlton, Manchester has every reason to support the Fawcett Society's letter.

A year or two ago, after industrial drinking over many hours, she got a lift with friends to the end of her road. Then - just 300 metres from home but basically legless - she took a taxi with someone she trusted. She then allowed them to stay in a spare bed. Then she took a prescription drug to help her sleep. This allegedly became a self-administered date rape drug.

There was a complaint, forensic samples were taken and an investigation lasted for months. But it led to nothing. Greater Manchester Police even denied - to journalists - that they had interviewed the alleged perpetrator though he and a good friend did have a good old chat with a Detective Constable. After which - all dropped.

The conviction rate on rape is abyssmal. And the way powerful men conspire to avoid a brother's interview, never mind charging or conviction is a travesty.

Dizzy: Vetting Harms Children More Than Not Vetting

DizzyThinks is a great blog. Tory-minded, but still great. Finding facts, statistics and reports and worrying them like a terrier. Sometimes barking "wolf" up the wrong tree. But always interesting.

Dizzy's report on youth opportunities versus safeguarding of children agsinst predators and health and safety is very interesting. The Manifesto Club are campaigning against vetting and they may have a point.

Though I suspect the decline in what they call "Hobby Clubs" predates the rise in CRB checking and the like.

Various youth activities formed part of the LOL childhood, but predatory youth or adults were never a factor. Though there were some future jailbirds and habitual arsonists in my scout troop.

Now I am the father of two kids who take part in a number of activities (and to be completely honest I don't know whether everyone they are led, taught and supported by is CRB checked, and I'm not worrying).

I am a Trustee or Volunteer with various orgs that work with children and young people too. And I have a coaching qualification in athletics - though I coach only adults, I will need a CRB check to progress that.

For six months I worked on ex-coalfield estates with young people. I wasn't CRB checked though I should have been. And I doubt others - in contact with the young people - had had CRB clearance.

There is probably more danger within groups and between the 'adults' attached to participants. And that is simply not covered by CRB checks. Meanwhile tens of thousands of children are on waiting lists for cubs, brownies, scouts and guides. Possibly playing out unsupervised instead.

Vetting is not all that helpful in my opinion. But my impression is (a) there is still a lot of activity for children out there in most areas and (b) the decline in the more paramilitary parts of the "hobby clubs" provision began long before the ramping up of CRB or H&S rules.

Lucy Powell: South Manchester Reporter Feature

An excellent launchpad for Lucy Powell's campaign to win back Manchester Withington for Manchester Labour.

Meanwhile the disreputable incumbent Cllr John Leech MP is pretending that a motion he "has put down" in parliament could stop a development next to Marie Louise Gardens taking place. Newsflash: EDMs signed by mavericks neither stop nor procure anything.

My goodness he's signed some whacko ones and a super soaraway 623 already this session. But this one, trailed in the same edition of the SMR as the announcement of his Nemesis (above) is so whacko it isn't even coming up on his PIMS search page.

LOL expect it will be doing soon. But in the meantime instead of "has put down" honest people say "is going to put down". And instead of "threatened with closure" we say "will change for the better". What a blooming fibber!

EXCLUSIVE: Paul Delaires-Staines Forward, David Rose Regrets ...

Just off to go canvassing with Frank and JB. On my return I'll review the older stories and provide a full caption here. In the meantime careful comments welcome. Click to enlarge.

Flipping Hell: Pairs With Bully Bullingdon Bullshitters

Made by Tim at Bloggerheads for Guido 2.0. LOL must get faster hardware - but the flip score is good doncha think?

EXCLUSIVE Guido Fawkes Provides David Rose "Retraction"

Guido Fawkes has sent me a load of stuff which has just arrived at LOL mansions, though apparently sent at various times over the last few days.

My email has been playing up a bit though I'll have a good look at the full headers to track their progress and true timings.

One of these things is a scan of a letter from Mr David Rose (right) to Mr Fawkes stating some pretty hardcore regret for not reporting Paul Staine's alternative explanation for his undisputed contact with the BNP's Organiser in East Yorkshire.

Mr Rose did not believe Guido's explanation at the time, in fact thinking it "absurd", but four years later - and having spent time (quaffing?) with Staines - Rose thought it seems he should have been more benificent.

REVISED: Guido has sent me the scan to be posted. I Could retype the text. Rose has given Staines permission to show it to people but I have written to him for his point of view anyway.

My reading of the thing is rather different from the one Guido thinks it should have and it does not deal with other aspects of the 1986 Guardian report. Addition: But it would have changed the original story substantially.

Guido has also sent me "A photo of my father - NOT FOR PUBLICATION" and also forwarded his "legal" letter to three other bloggers of February 2007. He told them that it was not for publication. But that doesn't apply to LOL does it?

UPDATE: There have been more emails ... but there is a promise of no more direction communication. Dum, dum, daaar.

UPDATE TWO: LOL have now published the letter from Rose to Staines HERE. Careful comments welcome.

Radio Five Live: Openly Jeering at Lib Dems Grey Grey Grey Launch

RADIO FIVE LIVE 17:44PM: Amazing. News reporter recounts the dullest press launch ever. Andrew Stunnell MP was there it seems. Grey hair, grey suit. And W Menzies Campbell. Grey hair, grey suit. And a grey backdrop. Grey grey grey.

But naturally there was more. Some resolutely negative soundbites. "Vote Lib Dem because we're against whatever you're against". But you haven't asked us what we're against! "Don't have to! Whatever it is we're against it." Well I'm against Lib Dems! "We couldn't agree more."

The anchor and presenter also joshed amiably about the Lib Dem pamphlet which goes with the greyness of the whole thing. Eighty eight pages of non-policy after non-policy which anchor says: "I'm looking forward to reading at my leisure."

Misery for England and Misery for Wales. Lib Dems crowing about stopping our casino HERE and although we cannot find the current document we did found a similar one (download) HERE - but then again that one has some policies in it.

PHOTO: Ruddy Charles Kennedy standing against the same grey background in 2004. Andrew and Menzies faded into its grayness this time with the result that there are no suitable photos available.

Tony Blair: Letter To The Party Faithful

"PLEASE VOTE LABOUR". But please don't stick my photo on your leaflets. Regretably this no longer works.

University Challenge: Manchester vs Durham

Manchester currently monstering Durham as it should be. Last week UCL asked what three word term was used by the Reverend Jesse Jackson to describe the constituency he was looking for for support. They said "The Great Unwashed" which was not correct. Any answers?

UPDATE: Drawn away for 240:90 and a chance to defend our title. Anecdote about one of the insider clots who got in the sabb-packed team the year I tried out. The first year allowed back after the famous piss-taking of Aaronovitch and Co. When I can remember the traitor's name ...

Other People's April Fools: Chorlton Fib Dems, You're Having A Laugh Aren't You? Taking The Proverbial

OBVIOUSLY Laugh Out Loud Labour of Love is hot to trot when it comes to April Fools' Jokes. One at least of our stories yesterday was a wind up. Can you see which one it is yet?

But receiving a double-sided A3 leaflet from an allegedly bona fide political party containing continued ridiculous HospitalHoax Denial was really going much too far.

Probably some people will get this on other days than Sunday 1 April and it is undated. So THEY WILL NOT REALISE that the WHOLE THING is a BIG JOKE ON THEM and not more LIB DEM LIES. It should say "Focus April Fools' Special" on the top.

This is how the BBC covered the story in April 2005 and these Lib Dems have used quotes from less balanced reports from the days immediately after the hoax was set in motion instead of those in the cool light of day.

They could acknowledge that they had stirred up a minor turf war, which would have been resolved in a few days, into a full scale panic. About a dearly loved hospital allegedly closing and needing saving when it never was. But they just keep on digging,

Their smirking photograph - which is not evident on their web sites - shows I feel that they knew all along that their jackanory story was complete rubbish. They knew from the start.

Using press quotes from two years ago to counter the calmer analysis of today is absolutely desperate and inexcusable.

Eighteen months ago Cllr John Leech MP and I had a short email correspondence around his Christie campaign.

Leech clearly realised that distributing propaganda in waiting areas of a hospital, reserved for vulnerable patients and their anxious relatives, where 95% plus of visitors are from other areas, and many are terminally ill was absolutely inexcusable. Even if the story of closure had not been a pack of lies and distortions.

John stated that he had not put the leaflets there himself. As if that is any excuse. But when asked who had and who had supplied them with those leaflets ON THE FIRST DAY after they were printed he was completely embarrassed and silenced.

This was never a hospital under threat of closure. So it was easy to "save" even for the most Junior Member of the House. "Achieved" within a week of his election. As if.

John Leech is in a hole and must stop digging and start owning up. The people of Manchester Withington have friends and relations working in this Hospital and at the University, I know I have, they may work there themselves; and of course most everybody knows an out-patient or two. We ALL know it was never true.

Messing with people's minds and lives like this has been totally unacceptable. It was wrong. And taking us for April Fools with a leaflet repeating long-found-out-lies is I'm sorry utterly contemptible.

This is not a closely contested story. It is a busted flush. Everyone knows it was untrue. The Lib Dems were terminally wrong, they upset even Leech's own staunchest supporters, and Leech and the Lib Dems were bound to be found out.

This is by no means the sole reason Labour lost a vast majority which had taken 18 years to build in just a couple of weeks. But it is one of the many shameful monkeys on Cllr Leech's back.

The truth will out. At least this leaflet, riddled with fibs as it was, did not rubbish our Bobbies, did not hoax about our cemetary, and did not claim that the moon was made of green cheese.

But it was one for April Fools Day that IS for sure.

This Cure For Cancers 'in Five Years', from just one week before Leech and Co launched their storm of crap, is the potential of The Christie and it has been all along.

POSTSCRIPT: LOL still don't know what claims were included in the leaflet that the Lib Dems INCINERATED rather than distributed. If anyone can help with that please drop me a line.

Other People's April Fools: Carr on Dale

Calum Carr has posted a convincing April Fool story claiming that he has only just noticed that ID (Iain Dale) is at times - well all the time almost - a wee bit SMUG. Ha ha ha. ID hides it so well though doesn't he? This is exactly what we love about Iain Dale.

Along with his peculiar non-grasp of economics, statistics and the like; plus his maven qualities and his good grasp of political literature and intrigue. It's that old right brain - left brain dichotomy. Though some of us, natch, have both sides working tolerably well.

PS Calum, if you want to get your stats up you'll have to go over and nah-nahh-na-naaah-na on ID's and other Tory sites. Works a treat. Try picking up the old Guardian Paul Delaire-Staines story!

EXCLUSIVE UPDATE: Tory Boy Guido Fawkes/Paul Staines: Did He Really Make Common Cause in 1986 With Fascists? Has Guido Now Grown Up?

Paul Staines has sent LOL some stuff which he believes clears him. See EXCLUSIVE STORY HERE. There will be more certainly, timing depending on how permissions and so on unfold.


Jailhouse Lawyer has re-published a Guardian piece which reports Guido Fawkes' alter ego Paul Delaires-Staines in his old student days. Like grown up parties in some present day Student Unions his Federation of Conservative Students were according to the report having trouble with commies. He apparently reached out to the BNP proposing an alliance for "direct action" rather than forming a sensible Students 1st alliance with other grown up parties for democracy.

Paul Delaires-Staines wanted to smash the welfare state as well as commies and trade unionists, say the Guardian. Not to mention stalwarts of other bona fide political parties. And while he distanced himself from the BNP's un-nuanced racism the Guardian report the lyrics of a Staines-penned song which is redolent of gas chamber days.

Nice one. Obviously Mr Staines has (a) grown up (though not a lot) and (b) can comment here as LOL has never yet switched off real time comments*. Perhaps he'll send his thugs over to spray paint anti-democracy slogans on my bridges. The Tories were considering chucking him out. But I don't think they ever got round to it.

In 1986 Guardian was a broadsheet, not a tabloid!

Left hand video: Guido THINKS he is burning old media. Right: old media DO burn Guido. Vote on how this alleged-ex-collaborator-with-Nazis or rather his rather splendid alter ego ought to meet his end HERE. Link now live. Apologies.

UPDATE: Guido has been on threatening legal action if this blog post is not removed. LOL have replied that we will publish any rebuttals and that our policy is to apologise and correct real errors as soon as they are discovered. But we don't apologise for "errors" that appear to be "facts".

Our facts are: Guardian published this story in 1986 - their facts are XYZ - Guido is now surely grown up.

UPDATE TWO: Guido - the libertarian to end all libertarians - has been running to law (or threatening to run to law) - on this story for the last couple of months on and off but - don't know where our head was at the time - LOL missed the fuss in February. Perhaps blogging closer to home. The original article is still available in multiple locations on the web.

SEARCH TERMS like: 31 May 1986, David Rose, the Guardian, Paul Staines. Or as linked above.

UPDATE THREE: David Rose (the then-Guardian journalist who broke the story) is said to have moved on to the pre-Scott Observer and in some form or other recanted some of his piece. I've not yet been able to track that or even the date of it - some three years after the fact - down. But I've asked Guido to assist and I'm sure he will. He'd be helping himself.

I cannot see it serving him well to refuse not only to confirm or deny the Guardian's claims, but also to not assist in locating the second-hand reason why the story is in some way a wrong 'un.

SUGGESTION: It has come in off-blog that I should trade Guido taking this story down and apologising for he taking down and apologising for every single wrong 'un he has published and not recanted or apologised for. If we go for that formula I'll be back and offer wronged parties the chance to nominate stories.

ADDENDUM ONE: Clearly having left Manchester University only a few short years before Guido's time up at Hull Tech I lived through a time when we had right wing Tories in Number 10 and when both FCS and NOLS were populous forces in our unions. I also knew a number of silly Tories who were keen fellow travellers with fascist groups and their ilk including the National Front, the British Movement, and yes early-doors BNP. Nasty stickers at dawn. And yes, correctly spelt graffiti suggesting an assist from Tory boys and Tory girls to misspent thugs.

* I'm reminded. Apart from on two single posts where comments were finished. Or needed to be.

Follow Up: Breaking Story 3 - These Boots Are Made For Walking

It'll soon not be April Fool's Day. Hopefully unlike Will Parbury, you've noticed? Spoilt the surprise a bit but In a nutshell:

Cllr John Leech MP and quite a lot of other Libdemologists stuck out a very wonky Press Release about giving to charities. Firmly suggesting that no registered charity name means up to no good - which just isn't true - and that a registered company name also meant up to no good.

This was way wrong - although the Headline was lovely - and LOL as always blogged the truth, showing how globally respected charities like Oxfam also had various registered companies. In fact most charities that TRADE are required by statute to have Limited Companies.

Anyway, "do as I say not as I do" came into play when our hero made a big deal out of a photo opp in which he is shown giving a pair of shoes to Blue Peter's sectarian gaffer Zoe Salmon.

Going where? (a) to a programme - not a charity; run by (b) a corporation - not a charity; to be passed on to (c) a business - not a charity; to sell the shoes commercially, under the auspices of (d) UNESCO - worthy do-gooders, but not a charity and finally pass some of the profit on to (e) a charity.

All but one of these transactions have been proscribed by Mr Leech's whacko Press Release. Where is the "I was wrong" statement?

Meanwhile in the course of careful investigations with sources at Bloopers it was admitted that a good few MPs forgot to bring any shoes in to give to Zoe. So, they slipped out of the shoes they had on, took the picture from shin or waist up, and promised to send some on. Some Tories sent out to Poundstretchers or Quality Save for some cheap pumps.

Most of these naturally forgot, but still used the pictures and sent the press releases. Bloopers don't care much about the niceties because as we have discovered so often it's impression management they care about when Petra dies, when the 'phones don't work, or when they're a pair or two of corridor-of-power shoes down.

Which is where John Boys shoes on his shopping trip to ASDA jumped out at me. But a man can have several pairs of mid brown shoes after all. Leechy may be one of the good guys. But, do you know what dear reader, on this April Fool's Day - when I received yet another ChristieHoax Denial propaganda sheet, presumably NOT meant to be John and Paul's little April Fool joke? - I don't believe a word the man says any more. Not one. Do you?

What was he - as a megastore hater - doing in ASDA anyway? More on that anon.

Follow Up: Breaking Story 2 - Cllr John Leech MP To Stand Down? Really?

ALTHOUGH A WAVE of optimism has passed like wild-fire around Manchester Withington and neighbouring parts of South Manchester, and further grevious accusations have been added to the charge sheet here there is no confirmation from the leader's bunker on Manley Road. It is expected that when Gawsworth aka Carrow Road, the Home of the Canaries, hums into action there will be a press statement, despite young Leech's new found reputation as a media flop. Clearly those that spied on Labour's selection process will also tuck in their ratty tails and report on Lucy Powell's coronation as the people's champion.

Follow Up: Breaking Story 1 - Arrest in Arthog Road

DIDSBURY RESIDENT and former councillor Geoff Bridson, 64, is said to be helping police with enquiries following a raid on his home in Arthog Road, Didsbury at 11:00 am this morning.

Police sources are briefing that they have sealed off the area and evacuated some broody livestock as a deep cover investigation finally seems to be paying off.

Inspector Bobby Dibble, 42, confirmed:

"Certain comestible items have been changing hands in bars, restaurants and social clubs throughout the City of Manchester for incredible prices. All the evidence leads to Mr Bridson.
"What appear to be ordinary free range eggs in a variety of shapes, sizes, colourways and textures have been changing hands for up to £11 apiece. This is 65 times the market rate for the best free range eggs in Tesco's at Baguley where myself and Mrs Dibble do our weekly food shop. Very good it is too. Lots of loss leaders and that. Shame about our local shops.
"But I digress. Mr Bridson is a retired engineer, renowned horticulturalist and almost certainly the best councillor Didsbury ever had (1984-1992). Why is he mixed up in such a shady business?
"These eggs are revered like gold dust by the crowds at these gatherings. Sometimes they are auctioned. Sometimes they are the star raffle prize ahead of magnums of Champagne and collectible Malt Whisky. They have even been given out as prizes for community champions and the like.
"To make matters worse for him Mr Bridson personally annotates every carton with messages in a code which police cryptologists are still trying to crack. We know where he bought the biro he uses, but the fiendish cipher is impenetrable. The eggs are unmarked and unstamped.
"We've more Bobbies on the Beat than ever before. But we're flummoxed."
"The winners joke about their special attributes. 'Salmonella Specials', 'Bridson Bombs', 'Geoff's Golfballs' and so on.
"We have recently seized half a dozen from the home of a local 'bloke who blogs' following frivolous mentions of these in his publication.
"We have observed Mr Bridson rushing forward to congratulate the winners, making sure they handle the eggs with care, and having what look to be conspiratorial chats with them."

LOL have learned that a series of pictures of Mr Bridson in The South Manchester Distorter are also being treated as clues. Bridson is in the paper so much and was such an excellent local councillor that many local people believe he still is their councillor and find he treats their case work with more urgency and dedication that what are widely known throughout South Manchester as "the Lib Dem duds".

Readers are urged to come forward with any information however trivial it may seem to you. Can you help your local police to decipher the following secret message which is typical:
"DIDSBURY FARM EGGS 23/3/07 Cook well."

Breaking News 3: More Woes For BBC as Yet Another Blue Peter Scandal Emerges

TODAY 11:59PM

THERE ARE RED FACES all round today at the BBC and Blue Peter as yet another deception scandal has been leaked to the press. This folows hot on the heels of Wogan-Gate, Recipe-Gate, Blue-Peter-Phone-Fiddle-Gate, and Easter-Songs-of-Praise-Gate. The working title of this new cross "Gate" is said to be "Shoe-Shine-Shuffle-Business-Not-Charity-Gate. At least one North West MP is said to have colluded with the emerging scam.

Breaking News 2: Cllr John 'Two Jobs' Leech MP "Considering His Position"

TODAY 11:40 AM
COUNCILLOR JOHN Leech MP is today said to be considering his position after ongoing criticism for:

- A Hospital Closure and other Hoaxes
- Doing Two Jobs Badly
- Having Breathtakingly High Expenses
- Breaking Commons Protocols
- Associating With Duplicitous Politicians
- Signing Whacky Commons Motions
- Allegedly Overspending At Elections
- Being a Media Tart But Facing Relegation
- Procuring £23,000 From One Donor

A person "close to the MP" said he was faced with a difficult choice between returning to Manchester and taking up an offer to lead the Lib Dem Group in the Town Hall, while resuming work on behalf of neglected ward residents. Or continuing to get slapped down in parliament. In some 29 spoken contributions to Commons debates there was only one in which he had not been slapped down for schoolboy errors. And that was one of the five Lib Dem opposition debates. Do the Maths.

The insider categorically denied that the MPs bout of confusion and self-doubt was anything to do with Labour's selection of the strong local candidate Lucy Powell who was born and bred in the constituency and has the demonstrable connections and experience to actually get things done for Manchester Withington instead of talking the area down.

"He will not be relishing getting walloped at the polls. He is certainly not likely to be offered a peerage when he fails. But this has absolutely nothing to do with his crisis of conscience."

"This is all off the record, right?" they added, too late.

New Iscris-SORI Opinion Poll:

TODAY 11:15 AM
NEW POLLSTERS Iscris-SORI have today released the following headline results from their first Manchester survey.

Iscris-SORI asked 1,000 residents of Chorlton Park Ward:

1. Do you know Norman Lewis who is a local councillor for your area?

Never heard of him 53%
Seen him on blurry focus leaflets 18%
Seen him riding by on his bike once 11%
Got, NO scratch that, said he'd get my gate fixed once 3%
Cried wolf about our cemetary 8%
Cried wolf about our hospital 5%
He's a lovely bloke down the pub 1%
He's fantastic and I am not his family 1%

2. Do you believe that the Frank Gallagher character from Channel 4's Shameless programme, recorded in Manchester, resembles local Lib Dem councillor Norman Lewis? Residents were shown a picture of Mr Lewis as 53% had claimed they had no idea who he was.

Yes 98%
No 1%
Dunno 1%

3. Who do you think had most to lose by publicising this observation which had been placed on a scarcely seen "weblog" - a form of diary website attracting opinionated cranks and hobbyhorsists as well as serious commentators and journalists - to some 80,000 readers (VFD 42,000) of a respected local free newspaper. More answers than one possible.

Certainly not the Lib Dems 95%

Probably the Lib Dems 5%
Possibly Labour 65%
Possibly other parties 30%

Possibly Channel 4 90%
Possibly the blogger bloke 90%

4. Would you be surprised to hear that it was the Lib Dems themselves who gave the story to the paper?

I'm shocked and horrified 95%
Good for them 5%

5. Would you trust the Lib Dem party that would be this stupid to represent your community?

Never again 65%
Probably 5%
Am I bovvered? 30%

In breaking news Iscris-SORI have been reported to Polling ombudsman (a) for asking leading questions and (b) passing themselves off as Ipsos-MORI which Iscris-SORI categorically deny, saying "Ipsos-MORI are pants and now you've pointed this complete coincidence out we may change our name or force them to do so. We are named after our founder Bart Iscris-Sori".

Seems pretty conclusive. But more if this story develops.

Breaking News: Police Snatch Pensioner in Didsbury

TODAY: 11:00 am
POLICE HAVE sealed off a pensioner's home in Didsbury following an undercover operation lasting for "more than 12 months" which itself followed an anonymous tip off.

An unnamed pensioner, considered something of a local community hero, is said to be helping police with their enquiries. And in an unusual twist the RSPCA have attended the scene and taken some unspecified livestock into protective custody.

More from LOL as this story develops.