Thursday, May 07, 2009

Question Time Preview: Another Car Crash For Nadine?



UPDATED 21:47: Last time Nadine Dorries MP was on Question Time (above) in her native Merseyside the consensus was that it was embarrassing car crash, or Stansted Plane Crash, telly. The raving mythomaniac is on again tonight. She may get a further opportunity to spout about Smeargate, given Derek Draper's belated resignation. The pair of them have a lot in common if you ask me. The BBC have an hour's delay in which they can remove any and all defamatory twaddle and fibs she may come out with. Where is her legal action up to we wonder?

There is every chance that as a well-known former Nurse - albeit one who doesn't know her hustera from her ginglymus - Nads will be expected to have an understanding of H-1-N-1-A aka Swine Flu. But alas dear Nads is nowt but an ex-SEN, State Enrolled Nurse, the type that used to drop out of formal training after just one of the three or four years required for State Registered Nurses (SRNs) then as now.

She'll be out of her depth. Drowning not waving. I can't bear to watch. In fact I'll be popping out to the Irish Association Social Club on High Lane to watch Calvin Party, below with "Broken Flowers", and others entertaining. Bassy Kathy is an old friend of the family. Darwen tomorrow, Liverpool on Saturday. Perhaps catch Nads on the i-Player later.

Damian McBride: Missing? Working on "Diss-and-Tell" Book?


Guido is repeating BBC claims that Damian McBride is "Gone Missing" and speculating that he may be back in Ireland with a tumbler of Paddy's whiskey, a nice turf fire, a tureen of Bantry Bay Oysters (with no R in the month and all), and a poison pen going hell for leather. Rattling off a "diss-and-tell" volume to replace his missing gargantuan salary.

Alongside this I hear he’s working on an anthology of vicious kiss and tell pen portraits of Tory bloggers … Fawkes, Dale, and the raving mythomaniac Nadine Dorries MP.

No idea what he will call that one but I'm suggesting he calls his unauthorised auto-biography “Plenty More Last Straws ... But All My Camels’ Backs Are Now Broken”.

Further suggestions may be offered in comments. Camel Photo: Cyan Concept and design: LOL.

Iain Dale on Derek Draper: The Man is All Heart


Yes, he really is. Wonder how long it will last? More magnanimous than Yours Truly certainly. But Iain's suggestions for the new improved Labour List "Now With Added Ads, and a Conscience" seem to be a case of stating the blooming obvious.

Trial by Jury: Attention Seeking Tweeting or Snap Election?


The Jury Team have started a rumour of a snap election ... has Gordon really gone to the Palace?

Derek Draper Exiled: Call and Response to Happy News


Derek Draper was "rushed" into making a statement last night, by Iain Dale's pre-emptive and surprising revelations.

Inaccurate and self-serving from the very start. Draper not Dale. Either it was written a couple of weeks ago and Derek is too careless to change it to start "Four weeks" or it's just a case of "time flies when you're having fun".

Here it is in full, followed by my comment, excuse the French, for which I have been scolded at Labour List Nouveau, this is my homage to The Man.

Call:

Two weeks ago I posted on LabourList and said I was sorry for my role in the Damian McBride affair. Of course I regret ever receiving the infamous email and I regret my stupid hasty reply. Instead I should have said straight away that the idea was wrong.

I do ask people to remember, though, that in the end its contents were never published by me or anyone else involved in the Labour party and they would never have seen the light of day were it not for someone hacking into my emails and placing them into the public domain. Because of that, what was a silly idea ultimately destined for the trash can became a national scandal. Nonetheless, I should have made clear they were unacceptable from the very beginning.

On a much smaller note I also think I got the tone of LabourList wrong sometimes, being too strident, aggressive and obsessed with the "blogosphere". Having said that I am proud that I was the founder of LabourList. It really was a Labour of love. In just over 100 days there have been nearly 250 contributors, over 500 posts and 18,000 comments. I’d like to think one day I’ll be judged on all of that rather than just one, admittedly awful, email.

What has become clear, though, is that my continued editorship can only detract from what LabourList needs to do now. That is why, after a couple of weeks of reflection, I am passing on the editorship to Alex Smith, who has been a very able Deputy to me from the beginning. I have no doubt that Alex will steer the site to bigger and better things and I urge everyone who wants Labour to have a vibrant, active space on the internet to give him your backing and get involved in whatever comes next.


Response:

Come on Derek - No-one hacked your emails. That's just silly spin. Arrogant and irresponsible to the last.

YOU are a Grade A muppet who could not organise the proverbial piss up in a proverbial brewery. YOU are far too garrulous and far to "look-at-me" "aren't I the clever one" to conspire successfully.

YOU sent a provocation to Damian McBride's work email. YOU got the expected response. YOU said you liked it. YOU put the government in the way of danger. YOU put the Labour Party in the way of danger. YOU set the trap that McBride sprang. YOU are responsible. And because of where YOU put yourself and then stayed throughout this sorry affair the Danger and Harm was greater.

And now you've finally gone I'd bet the farm on there being more revelations and more trouble and more embarrassment. Let's hope I'm wrong. But we'll soon see. Guido is probably at the Sunday Times lining something or other up even as I tap.

If you had not put yourself front and centre and then stubbornly stayed there, trapped in the spotlights of infamy, gone to the danger as you did, and then stayed on site for any and all interview bids and your patent excruciating stumble-bumming ... The story MIGHT have got the "Dog doesn't bite man" coverage it perhaps deserved. But you put fuel onto the fire. NOT some made-up hacker who didn't nick your private emails now. YOU.

YOU *inevitably* became the story. That's what YOU do. Like Guido or Dorries or to a lesser extent possibly Dale or whatever. You WANT to be the story.

That characteristic perhaps could have made you suitable to start your own blog a la Dale. Perhaps you can still do that from exile on Elba?

But this is not the characteristic to make a suitable editor of a serious-minded alternative to Conservative Home. And of course trying to mix up serious party blog, personality blog, and attack blog - three of the distinct genres - was enormously foolhardy.

Tim Montgomerie is not generally speaking the story. Jonathan Isaby is not generally speaking the story. Mark Pack is not the story at LDV. Sunny Hundal is not the story at Liberal Conspiracy. Alex Hilton is not the story at Labour Home. Though he is sometimes at Recess Monkey. Which is OK ... because that's his private domain with no illusions of collectivism.

Alex Smith will not be the story. And he probably has more sense than to assume the role of talking head for hire just yet.

But you Derek shouldn't be handing this site over to Alex - to whom the very best of luck - "I am passing on the editorship" indeed?, you shouldn't be so fucking proprietorial about it. You should have been long gone. I'm sure you love Labour and the movement, but has this hanging around been a good way of showing it?

You "founded" the site. But others could have been more sensibly given that responsibility. And you certainly shouldn't have been the founding editor. Because you didn't have a clue about the web, about blogs, about editing, about collectivism. Admit it. Choosing yourself to be the editor-in-chief was the biggest mistake of the lot.

Looking at this drivelling resignation you've learnt very little from the experience. It wasn't one email. It was at least two. And probably hundreds of media appearances that followed.

You should have so clearly not have been the editor. No so much an accident waiting to happen as an immediate scrape in the carpark, before the get go, all set to become a huge multi-vehicle pile up.

Because you are so fucking accident-prone Derek Draper. Because you have a set of "corrupt spin doctor lobbyist" baggage from which there is probably no redemption. Not so close to home. Because you are so very clearly an unsuitable ambassador for the party and for our blogging.

Consider your buttons sliced from your tunic. Consider your epaulettes torn off and they too returned to the regiment. Consider your sword broken over our collective knees and thrown to the ground. Off to Elba.

Well done for starting something. Lighting the blue (or red) touch paper and standing back would have been wiser. Think on for next time. Good luck with whatever you do next. Good luck with your professional travails. And your growing family.

But I'm sorry Derek, it is a case of goodbye and good riddance when it comes to Labour List.

FOOTNOTE: M Dreyfus (thanks Simon) was publically cashiered, but was victim of a stitch up by horrid blogger Ferdinand Walsin Esterhazy, just like Mr Draper?

Wednesday, May 06, 2009

Derek Draper is Off Labour List: Tomorrow Apparently


Four to five weeks since any blog update or tweet from the Drape ... and Iain Dale manages to cover the enormously surprising news that Derek Draper is toast at Labour List without reference to LOL's specific call for his details to be removed, which they were, or LOL's call for his dismissal to be a public act of great humiliation, and robust language, last word "off". Here's hoping. Anyways, here's Dale's "Exclusive".

Still Nothing But Flim Flam: Cameron's Vacuous Election Broadcast




Cameron's riposte to Brown's Party Election Broadcast. There is not an ounce of real content in this thing. It's almost five minutes of flim flam. Tell us HOW you are going to make everything right YOU COMPLETE MUPPET DAVE!

Jacob Rees-Mogodon: Eton Chump in News Again for Muppetry



Our Exclusive Expose of Jacob Rees-Mogadon's spell check perfect illiteracy and arrant innumeracy didn't get a single comment here. But it has been picked up by the regional press. The Western Daily Press in particular, even naming LOL as an "influential" blogger! Even ran to an Editorial. Here's their take on that plagiarism from Trevor Kavanagh of The Sun.

Perhaps they'll come back to this and run the real story - about what is either Jacob showing off his innumeracy, odd for a hedge fundie, or being utterly dishonest. In fact Jake's dad William had such a reputation for shoddy financial predictions that he was known as "Mystic Mogg". I'll blog about that again with the specific problems with his maths later.

FOOTNOTE: LOL didn't name the "author" revealed in the Microsoft document and named by the WDP. She is the lowliest of the various Non-Poxbridge "potted plants" in Jacob's hedge fund LLP's operation. But as he's got a history of blaming one of her colleagues for the last gaffe, and it does "look like" she wrote the thing, we do think it's possible that JRM could go the scape goat route once more.

Joanna Lumley's Gurkhas: JL Seems To Have Been Won Over



Joanna Lumley is to ask the PM for "parity with Commonwealth soldiers". That's interesting that is. A so-far sure-footed campaign may find that while Commonwealth soldiers/military in general now have the same pay and conditions as UK soldiers/military she may be surprised at the history.

She is about to speak live to BBC News. "Extremely positive ... PM wholly supportive ... new solution by end of May ... I trust him, I rely on him, and know that he has now taken this matter into his own hands." The proposed parity is on current Gurkhas. Four years service, then two year window to make application for ILR (Indefinite Leave to Remain) or entry visa.

As I understand it Commonwealth soldiers may then apply for naturalisation. As I understand it they have no guarantee of ILR or naturalisation. And as I understand it these are pretty new arrangements for those Commonwealth soldiers. Where this gets potentially expensive for HMG I believe is where other crown servants are given parity with the gurkhas, in terms of backdating any and all concessions for example.

Gordon Brown: One of His Best PMQs Ever? And Opposition Worst?


Bit of a moment with that "Any Complaints Will Be Dealt With In The Normal Way" method acting "joke". But it seems to me that Gordon Brown has had an extremely good PMQs today. All things considered. But also in absolute terms. Gordon landed a good few mighty blows on the fatuous idiocy of David Cameron's Conservatives.

They made us wait until IDS 26 minutes in for any substantive issue to be raised. Gurkhas. Would the PM be bound by the Opposition Debate? Given the weasel words of Liam Fox last Wednesday afternoon I think he would do better to be asking his own Leaders whether they would be bound by their own hypocritical vote on the Gurkhas.

Graham "nice but dim" Brady manages another substantive issue. The Christie. But he misses his mark completely I think. Because of this heroic "play the man, not the ball" approach from the Tories. Obviously Iceland is the model for Tory economics and banking regulation. A Tory PM ran that country into the ground.

Will be interesting to see Iain Dale's scores on the doors for this. He will of course be delighted with the performance of his little snake in the grass chipmunk.

UPDATE 12:43 Scores on the Doors:

Brown 8 Clegg 6 Cameron 3
Labour back bench 8 (even McDonnell) Lib Dems 7 Tories 4 (two without IDS)

Did Tom Harris not get to ask his question?

Jonathan Freedland: Right About Labour MPs, But Journalists Too


Jonathan Freedland, writing at the Guardian's Comment is Free is right. Labour's spineless MPs should stop blaming Brown and show some fight. Spot on. But in passing he talks of Gurkhas and their rights. I wonder what he is on about. Journalists really need to grow some critical faculties and stop being sheep on a feeding frenzy whipped up by Fawkes and Coulson:

Can you please explain Jonathan what on earth you mean by "their full rights" when it comes to Gurkhas? Before 1997 FIVE were given resettlement rights. Since then, under Labour, it is 6,000. The Tory position - whatever it may actually be - doesn't seem too clever when set against that.

Are we talking about Gurkhas who have resettled before 1997 in Hong Kong and Singapore and Darjeeling and indeed in Nepal upping sticks, sacking their household servants, withdrawing from their communities, draining their wealth and income out of these countries? What does that do for the fragile ecologies and economies there?

I say "whatever it may be" vs Tory plans because within an hour or two of Cameron generously calling for all Crown Servants (not just Gurkhas) of whatever nationality, length of service, terms and conditions signed up for resettlement rights we had Liam Fox mumbling and muttering about giving Gurkhas (just Gurkhas) a leg up in the points-based immigration system.

Not really the same is it?

I'm towards the far liberal left spectrum on immigration. And a loyal Labour member and activist. I stop short of "No Borders" but I do hope that Gurkhas, other Commonwealth soldiers, and other Crown Servants get a fair crack of the whip. Though I'm not convinced universal resettlement rights are the right thing.

We need arrangements that we the public can afford and that will maintain public support even after the Ab Fab buzz of the current sentimental campaign.

On Saturday we went to the "status " party of Yousef from Sierra Leone. We polished off a whole sheep, pot roasted in a delicious sauce. Brilliant.

On Sunday I happened to meet a former KLA fighter and his daughter. We helped them get his "status" a year or so back. He was aghast at the apparent Tory ascendancy and hoping Labour maintained government.

I'm in favour of immigration in general and I think former Crown Servants may well have a good case for status.

However ... It is absolutely one hundred percent right and proper that our government test the likely quantums of cost and numbers ahead of changing their policy and practice on immigration in any significant way.

Nick Clegg we expect in this making grand gestures with other people's budgets. Cameron however is a pitiful hypocrite. But as you may be suggesting in your comment the Labour 100 on this issue are worse.

Utterly pathetic. Idiots many of them. Disloyal idiots. Hopefully they will realise as much and pull their socks up.

http://tinyurl.com/chrispLOL / @chrispLOL

Tuesday, May 05, 2009

Labour Party PEB: Tonight Gordon, You're Going to be ... Gordon




This is good. It's about Labour Party achievements and policies. It presents the true choice.

Between investment and invention as the way out of recession and back to almost uninterrupted growth as Labour propose. Or to the world of jeering, misery, cuts and every man for himself that David Cameron's no-longer cuddly Nu Conservatives counter with.

UPDATE 17:50: Couple of crowing rejoinders from Tories in the comments. There are 12-14 months to go. I'd hate for these crowers to be speaking too soon, wouldn't you? Meanwhile here's some web-only extras to tonight's PEB.

Aaaaargh! Meme Time: Thatcher, Bowie, Floyd and Palestrina


Aaaaargh! I've not only been tagged by Dr Rupa Huq, with Paul Burgin's 1979 General election meme, I've also noticed this fact and can offer no excuses for inaction. So here goes.

How old were you?

An erudite twenty two. Deeply immersed in Part Twos, or Finals in the vernacular. At the Victoria University of Manchester. A 20,000 word dissertation on "The Formation of Runoff in High Alpine Basins" was under my belt, including a marvellous sojurn at the "Bond-esque" Jungfraujoch Hochalpine Forshungsstation with Observatory, Restaurant, Tunnels-to-die-for, Huskies, Skidoos, and an Eiger piercing train.

Climbed the 4,000 metre Monch on that trip. Grossing out plodding identikit check and breeches Teutons with our free-spirited and mostly ropeless dash for the summit. Would climb Jungfrau itself twice in succeeding summers. And all the several summits of the Gross Aletschhorn. But never the Eiger. This being under 4,000 metres.

Exams in Geo-Politics, Advanced Cartography and Surveying, Environmental Geomorphology, Glaciology and Hydrology to look forward to. Plus a Philosophy of Science paper on "Theories Define Data, not Vice Versa", which title owed something to Sherlock Holmes I'm told but which herded the unwitting sheeple into leaden analyses of inductive and deductive reasoning. Joy unconfined!

After which would follow a summer in the Rockies minding glaciers for Le Governement Du Canada. With far too much Hotel California on the sound system. Plus the Devil Rode Down to Georgia that year as I recall.

What are your personal political memories, if you have any?

Had other fish to fry. No party politics certainly. Attended General Meetings in the MDH - Main Debating Hall - whenever I had no cross country races or track meets to attend to. Hard to remember the order of the political personalities there. Tories Hugh Carter who died in the yoke after a very public struggle with cancer. John Somers seemed an obnoxious little shit from Cumbria. On the left left we had John Anzani and Mick Hume. Steve Hewlett, the Baker's Union Pilsbury dough boy. Labour figures included Phil Woolas, and later John Mann.

Certainly took no part in local government or parliamentary activity at this point. Not until 82/83, when I also actually joined The Labour Party (in Hulme branch I was) and the first of a number of Trade Unions, being the NUJ, and the Cooperative Movement to boot as founder of a Workers' Cooperative.

Watched the election night coverage more-or-less end to end I believe. Though I'm not sure. I've not re-watched it to test that theory. I was rather pre-occuppied with exam preparation, having been a rather lazy (if brilliant!) student for the best part of three years. Coming from an era of relatively short governments and taking it in turns this probably seemed far less momentous to me than any election may do today in an era of longer stints. Perhaps we will now be back to the too-ing and fro-ing of old?

Loved school milk. Never failed to get to school, even in floods and blizzards, and often got to drink epic quantities of the stuff. Hated Maggie Thatcher, natch. Didn't think much of the grandiose patrician Sir John Hall, our MP in High Wycombe, re-elected at the last GE. Walked by his HQ most every day I seem to recall? Big picture of toff beaming down kindly?? The Tories seemed to have that town by the balls just then, though the lying scumbag Liberals had a gaudy orange terrapin-of-an-office just down the street.

Political Views Held?

Strong and strongly left-wing Labour supporter. Strongly Republican views both for UK and for Ireland. Some communists in the more mainland side of the DNA pool. Nationalists/republicans on the Irish side, though strictly of the Gerry Fitt kind of persuasion. Joke: RUC Recruits ask when to use truncheons? When you see Fitt! Ha, ha, ha, how we laughed. Interestingly we took The Daily Telegraph. For the crosswords and the sport. I continued to buy that more often than any other paper at uni.

Until one day one of my tutors, Bill Brice, who died last year, used my copy to mop up some spilled tea, saying that this was all it was good for. I liked Bill and I saw the light. I still did all the broadsheet crosswords Saturday and Sunday. But paid more attention to the Guardian.

Getting back to Ireland ... Great Grand Daddy was a gun runner I understand, back in the days when it was "different". And my mum's cousin Hugh was to be shot dead by soldiers in Derry, near st Eugene's Cathedral around the time of the Bobby Sands hunger strike and all. Parents were not active in the Labour Party at that point AFAIK. Irish uncles and cousins were active in civil rights struggle. Stopped a few rubber and plastic bullets and the odd truncheon between them.

Parents were later LP Branch officers and the like, though they're now in Ireland where there's no party infrastructure to speak of.

Where did you live?

Lived in the Humanities/Politics/Sociology basement stacks at the John Rylands and the Geology section in the Christie. Shuffling index cards. Reading and re-reading significant scientific and sociological papers, the abstracts of the second tier, lunch playing table football at Champions League standard in the Union most days, Ben Elton and co upstairs in the coffee bar near the pinball machine; teatime playing pool in the Bowling Green pub near the MRI; back in the Libraries until chucking out time. Absolutely no alcohol for two long months.

So mostly "lived" in the two libraries! Also then as now running along the Mersey Banks and in road loops of all shapes and sizes from "Fog Lane" (4) to "School Lane" (5) to "Parrs Wood" (6) to "Lancaster Hill" (10). Like Berlin U-Bahn and E-Bahn lines the runs were named after their farthest point. When I wasn't studying or running I had a bedroom in Fallowfield. In a Hall that was (a) infamous for ASB from sub-standard Hoorays and Hearties and (b) rather redolent of the Oxbridge world I'd deliberately opted out of. I was a rather successful Pinko agent provocateur.

By this point my family lived in Bristol, down by the then long-term closed Portway, near Sea Mills, but nominally in Stoke Bishop.

School/College/Workplace?

Victoria University of Manchester. See above.

Favourite TV Programmes?

Watched very little TV at this point. Obviously I'll now provide a long list of imagined watching. Top of the Pops and Whistle Test. Doctor Who. Dangerman, Avengers, The Prisoner, Quatermass too I seem to recall, rightly or wrongly I don't know. Match of the Day. Lots of news and documentaries. As much athletics as possible.

This was pre-marathon in the mass participation sense. But Dr Ron Hill MBE, a Manchester alumnus was a hero, and the Africans - particularly the Kenyans with the Ethiopians and Tanzanians bubbling under - now emerging as a world power in running. Also took an interest in the likes of Rose, Staynings, Ridler - all from Bristol and originally my club Westbury, but away having it large, before having it large was even invented, at the exotic Western Kentucky University.

Favourite Band/Music/etc..?

Tricky times these. By the end of my third year I had hair down my back, a full Castro beard, and would by necessity wear a bandana to race in. My graduation photographs are a joy to behold. But I had very, ahem, catholic tastes in music.

The December before this election had been up to Newcastle to see Bowie (and Iggy Pop guesting) at the City Hall, with a mate who claimed throughout this period that his middle initial "H" stood for "Himmler" and was not only running with the Tories in the Union, but also worryingly interested in the heavy end of the "small arms" continuum, and also the rise and rise and fall and fall of Webster, Tyndall and the National Front.

Will have sung plainsong, oratorios and polyphonic sprees at Clifton Cathedral, played abyssmal "jazz" on my scarcely-touched Euphonium, lunked up to Uni after a mispent youth in brass bands, pogo-ed relentlessly in the cellar-bar disco, and followed a little known pub-rock-cum-punk band known as Zoot Suit and the Zeroids, featuring one future BBC presenter Mark Radcliffe as frontman.

Later to become a drum legend with inter alia Frank Sidebottom. And the Shirehorses was it? Mark and Lard at large. I think wretched Pink Floyd at that wretched Stafford cattle market, really a cattle market and doing "Animals", was the following summer. But obviously I'll not be mentioning that one.


Aaaaargh. Someone remind me why I don't usually do these things? I'll come back and tag, link and illustrate this horrific confessional.

EXCLUSIVE Plagiarism, Pass-Bucks, Pedantry: J Rees-Mogadon




An old friend of mine, writing in the second ever issue of City Life Magazine, which was published in January 1984 but said "January 1983" on the cover, see I've known about embarrassing typos since time, said some words to the effect that Barney Albrecht and New Order were "ordinary people perfecting ordinariness". Above you will find one Jacob Rees-Mogg (wiki) explaining how he, and indeed all the other wingnut New Tory PPCs are indeed ordinary chaps and chappesses, representative of the cream of the cranks broad population of our country, unlike Cameron's Eh? List.

Watch it a few times and you'll warm to him, really. You may even become incandescent with warmth. But even if JRM is not representative of the broad population he may not be too far from the median* of the very reactionary Hoorays and Sloanes and yes yes a few over-promoted (but, worry not, suitably reactionary) "pot plants"* lined up in the winnables for David Cameron's completely refreshed, modernised, purged of toffee no-marks, Cuddly Nu Conservative Party.

* A statistical concept more relevant than "average" to JRM's banter.
** Please read on for an explanation of this characterisation.

Journalists such as Jacob's dad William "Mogodon" "Mystic Mogg" Rees-Mogg, sometime Editor of the Thunderer, really do not like plagiarism.

Nicking ideas off Guido is one thing. But stealing finished work wholesale? Beyond the pale, as any fool know. So when JRM got caught 'aving it away with some of Trevor Kavanagh's finest prose he apologises (Press Gazette) and apologises (Guardian) and apologises (Pater's Times) and apologises (Kavanagh's Sun) and even gets ribbed by Tom Watson MP for this lamentable lapse in standards.

Of course JMR was already quite famous by then for the above Newsnight interview and his reference to non-Poxbridge and Eh? List types as "Pot plants" incapable of correct spolling and grimmer, never mind becoming MPs. That was why he'd triumphed and become PPC for North East Somerset - he was a cut above the Aspidistra and heaven-forfend Marijuana class. Tom Watson MP naturally had a go for that too. What a cheeky oik that one is!

It was one week ago today that semi-literate plagiariser Tory candidate Jacob Rees-Mogg sent out yet another installment of shimmering non-pot-plant prosification.

Eton-educated Mr Rees-Mogg's press release has two spelling mistakes in the first few lines. There's 'as' instead of 'an', and 'pad' instead of 'paid'. Strictly speaking these are likely "typos" rather than spelling mistakes. As they are real words they pass muster in the Word spelling and grammar check. As do a couple of pretty odd verb agreement decisions.

If only Microsoft programmes had benefited from hours of advanced box analysis with the late great Captain Hollingsworth Rtd. There is also a problematic statistical non-sequitor that GCSE Maths and Stats for Commerce at a local secondary modern would have caught, but apparently not Eton and Poxbridge. And just as an aside JMR's online CV fails to mention either of these beneficial educational excursions away from darkest Somerset.

Clearly JRM had not actually written the plagiarised article. Doh! Trevor Kavanagh did didn't he? But there was more. JRM had not actually even NOT written said article. He blamed somebody else for that. That being one of his salaried staff at his own London-based hedge fund company, Somerset Capital Management, that did NOT write that one. And it looks like it's another of them that stuffed up the spollings on this one.

She - last in the list, and nominally the author of this JRM expertise - also cannot spell or proof read. So maybe it was he - first in the list, the plagiariser who'd never be allowed to not write anything for JRM ever again - all along? I think we should be told.

JRM is the bloke who told the Western Daily Press (July 2006)

"I have been very fortunate in being educated at Eton and Oxford, and I think policy
should be directed at creating an education system that is good for everyone."

Good to know that big money buys the very best edyukayshun.

The news release has been posted on JRM's website - WITHOUT human proofreading, without ordinary perfecting ordinariness verb agreements, and without basic statistical numeracy. At LOL we feel that we really owe it to all the slumdogs on Cameron's Eh? List and beyond to share this let down with a wider audience. MEANWHILE: Jacob's sister Annunziata is clearly a pot plant and needed the stoopid Eh? List to get selected in a winnable.

Monday, May 04, 2009

Sir Cyril Smith MBE: Who Wrote That Hooky Biography 2?


Many thanks to comments so far on our post about the Cyril Smith myth making operation. One online biography claimed that Cyril was a lifelong member of the Liberal Party. Others disagree citing around half a dozen changes of colours down the years. And the fact that Sir Cyril is the antithesis of a "liberal". But there's a good deal more to go at here.

Can anyone shed any light on the assertion that Cyril Smith was offered a seat in the House of Lords? And that he turned this down, thinking a knighthood would be plenty? The harmless and amusing Clement Freud didn't get ennobled, why would the harmful and disgusting Cyril Smith be offered one?

Paul Rowen MP has only just been able to overcome his instincts and stop defending and idolising Sir Cyril Smith MBE quite so very much. Quite a U-Turn from "there is no asbestos in our schools" to arrogating a position spearheading a campaign to have it all removed.

Surely Gordon Brown will know the history and burst the chancer's bubble when he rocks up at Number Ten? Part of the problem, NOT part of the solution.

The Rochdale Lib Dem McBridivist Dave Henn still has the sleazy old bastard, Smith not Rowen that is, on a pedestal of course, right up the monster's proverbial arse at the drop of a hat.

Rochdale Lib Dems and the Federal Party should renounce Sir Cyril.

Illiberal in the extreme, bullying and abusive to the extent that would see him locked up these days, culpably in the pocket of multinational asbestos killers, cheerleading for humungous miscarriages of justice. "Putting Cyril First" then now and ever after.

Sunday, May 03, 2009

EXCLUSIVE LOL Campaign Victory: eLL (Almost) Purge Draper



Last Monday Labour of Love suggested (above) that prominent links to Derek Draper's private website and twitterfeed should be removed from Labour List, along with Derek's bad karma brand. Tory Bear has the hot poop, LOL's word is LL's command. The main links are gone, though a full colonic irrigation would be recommended to get rid of the bloating and retained waste products.

Tory Bear also claim that there is a revelatory Kate Garraway story in the reliably racey Woman's Own, in fact it's in their always hard-hitting IPC sister publication Woman (90 pence). But the sad text is not online.

Meanwhile David Cameron has shown his commitment to women's equality by authorising Guido Fawkes to mess with the "caner" animated gif. This apparently had a "time bomb" in it, changing it to Cam's line on Women's Liberation. Can't say he didn't warn us.

Sir Cyril Smith MBE: Who On Earth Wrote This Hagiography?


During a recent in the Google-sphere LOL came across a rather comical pen portrait of the larger-than-life sexualised punishment, asbestos sell out, and illiberal funster Sir Cyril Smith. Who on earth provided the few facts and many assertions for this complete toss (2002) about the phantom but not bantam cheese and onion pie man of Emma street?

Apart from the general hagiographic tone and the embarrassing spin there appear to be a couple of really serious mistakes in it. Can you spot them?

Sir Cyril Smith MP MBE
Mayor of Rochdale
Cyril Smith was born in Rochdale on 28th June 1928. He first came to the public's notice as the newly elected Member of Parliament for Rochdale in the 1972 General Election, though he had already been a major player in Rochdale politics for many years. He had been just 22 years of age when he was first elected to the Rochdale Council.
A lifelong member of the Liberal Party, in 1966 he was appointed Mayor of Rochdale and was awarded the MBE in the Queen's Birthday Honours List. In 1988 he was knighted Sir Cyril Smith and was appointed as Deputy Lieutenant of Greater Manchester in 1991. By now his political career was drawing to an end and in that same year he announced his retirement as MP for Rochdale.
Sir Cyril always was a larger than life character, both in terms of his ebullient outspoken personality and his enormous size - he was affectionately known around the town as "Big Cyril", (though he has by now shed much of that mighty frame).
Upon retirement he was offered a peerage, but declined a seat in the House of Lords, regarding the honour of a knighthood as sufficient recognition of his services to politics and his local community. As a lifelong bachelor, he shared his home with his mother Eva until her death in 1994.
Respected for his tireless work in the constituency and for his support of the underdog - very much a peoples' champion. Sir Cyril now enjoys an active life on the lecture and public speaking circuits, which include the QE2.

Add in a few exclamation marks and squint through some Sunday afternoon beer goggles and you could think it was the work of the current Rochdale McBridivist Dave Hennigan. But it's from 2002 so it cannot be, can it?

Saturday, May 02, 2009

Win-Win Situation: Galloway Bitch Slaps Dale or Vice Versa


Not literally. Just a tricky 'phone call is all. We've all had them. Live on Radio. Less often. But still rather quotidien. Whoever won the day it's hard to feel anything but mild joy, "mild joy"? never mind. They're both professionals. They'll get over themselves. Eventually. Maggie Thatcher, You Can't Match Her. The Darling Of Us All. Will political pundits be getting so vexed over Blair or Brown in 2027, or Brown lui-meme in 2037? Will Dale and Galloway ever recapture magic moments as bessies in the Celebrity Big Brother House?

FOOTNOTE Sun 11:00: The MP3 is now available. In the first half goals from Galloway's forwards Steel and Coal were answered with an own goal from Scargill. 2-1. In the second half Cityboy (Feckless) forgot which side he was on and crashed one against the bar for Galloway's Workers United XI with his brother Cityboy (Rampant) finding the side netting at the correct end for Dale's Market Forces XI. Still 2-1.

Breathless end to end action before lapses in concentration saw Dale, on by now as Player Manager, watching his own loose back passes to Conservative Future in goal, intercepted and knocked in by the marauding communist Poll-Tax-Up-Your-Jacksy and then steered home by Lamont (og) whose sad lack of skills on ball or man were cruelly exposed. Full time 4-1.

The whole match had been in doubt for a time when a display of extreme petulance in the technical area and threats to "take my balls home" from Dale had been silenced by Galloway's cool Home advantage. And more especially by a text from the match sponsors offering "no whine no fee" advice to the former Norfolk Dynamo.

Margaret Thatcher, incandescent at the Dale let down, was overheard screaming into her Blackberry. "Find me Guido Staines!"

Reporter? Journalist? Crapster?: Gilligan Says "Gilligan Brilliant"




In essence London Evening Standard "journalist" Andrew Gilligan - rescued by Boris Johnson after his spot of bother at the BBC - left all sense of fairness and balance out of his "professional" life when he went after Ken and bigged up Boris. And when his antics got coverage he always had "sock puppets" speaking his language, defending their puppeteer. Hat tip: Bloggerheads.

Reporter? Journalist? Crapster?: Peter Oborne in Car-Bull/Carble



Last night I watched an extraordinary film featuring one Peter Oborne on camera and off, voicing over one of the most poppy-cocky-cal, directionless and cobbled together documentaries I've ever seen. And I've seen a few stinkers I can tell you. Some of the time it was from Cab-Bull, some from Carble, all the time from garbled. A shocking shame to the profession of journalism. Leading questions, random hearsay, possible and actual pictorial misrepresentations - including pointing a camera at "a hole" that had ceased to be one, arrant twaddle whose slightest hint of a direction of travel appeared to be towards a return to Happy Old Talibania. You may be able to catch up HERE.

AND I HAD A THOUGHT:
Next time Channel 4 commission a piece of tosh from the frontline, they should send Keith Floyd. There is a passing physical resemblance of course. But even ten sheets to the wind, in his cups Floyd is a professional journalist, can take his drink, and would not pass off an unprepared mess of offal tripe as a splendid dish fit to set before a TV audience expecting revelations.

Now, today, the morning after the shoddy garble of the night before we have this twaddle. For goodness sake! Oborne really is a crapulent crapster. In no position to tell anybody what to do over a glass of whisky and a loaded revolver.

Simon Jenkins is another. Channel 4 will probably have him doing a turn too. They haven't? Perhaps next series. But please don't think you can reveal: "There are beggars, bombs, and bent coppers in Kabul." It took some investigating but it's been done. To general amazement of the viewing public. Oborne really has lowered the bar.

Guido Fawkes Can't Dance: Links to Tame not Wild Lords of the Blog


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Guido has posted this Chipendales tribute. Left to right, on the screen at least: Tim Montgomery (Conservative Home), James Cleverly (Blogging MLA), Iain Dale (Iain Dale), Shane Greer (Iain's mini-me), and Mister GuF (Guido Fawkes). There you have it then. Guido is officially deeply embedded in Tory Blog Culture. Part of Coulson's Irregulars.

The only real surprise is that Guido has not linked to this animation, along similar lines, that is meta-JibJab post-modernity, outre and scatologically creative from Tim "Manic" Ireland. PG: South Park soundtrack; PG: Images calculated to offend.

Friday, May 01, 2009

Watching the Defectives: Guido "Scoop" on Lab -> Lib Flight


Apart from a relatively lovely, by S&M standards, cartoon ridiculing the unintentionally (?) extraordinarily disloyal to the workers muppet Charles Clarke ... Guido has an authoritative comment suggesting a Labour to Lib Dem MP defection over the weekend. Some suggestion of Frank Field being the one. Though he always seemed more of a to-Tory flight risk to me. Incredibly naive. Often precise yet inaccurate. Other nominees?

Tories and BNP in East Lancashire: Back Story Worth a Read



The back story for the heart-warming BNP-Conservatives hook up in Darwen Lancashire makes fascinating reading. BNP activist and parliamentary candidate Nick Holt was approached by Darwen Conservative Dy-nasty (mostly "nasty"?) The Slaters to stand as a Town Council candidate. He was very surprised, he says, but they persuaded him.

My old spar the Solicitor and newly wed James Jacob Gilchrist Berry, the Conservative PPC in Rossendale, apparently attended a strategy meeting with Mr Holt - who hates the Labour Party and the trade unions and is happy to hang with Tories, despite his race-fascist inner-hinterland - and this afternoon was due to host a Cameron Direct event, not far from Bacup.

Bacup being where LOL and LOL's newshounds took a spin this very afternoon. Including passing a nursing home named ABBA! Some consolation for Iain Dale as his party's political judgement - in the constituencies - nears new depths. Though it's touch and go whether this or incorporating Hizb_ut-Tahrir leaflets in your strategy takes the soggy biscuit.

Jake "the Fake" Berry: Becomes Jake "the Fash" Berry?



Back in 2006 I stood for Labour in Manchester City Centre ward. This was before the arrival of the master strategist Rob Addlard. My Tory opponent - who did succeed in finding a few Tory voters, without denting either the winning Lib Dem or runner up Labour support too much, was a busy busy Jake Berry.

He said he was a lawyer, and said he had lived in Manchester for some years. Later this was down-graded to "the outskirts" of Manchester.

In fact I already knew Jake. I'd spoken with him when I gave evidence to the Boundary Commission of England. He was on the Tory Back Bench as it were. Apparently from the Wigan/St Helens Tories. It transpired that at the time of claiming to live in the heart of Manchester he actually lived beyond Knutsford. The wrong side of the M6. And with far more affinity with Liverpool, where he had been a parliamentary agent.

Now, I don't know whether anything the kid - who is the Tory PPC in Rossendale, above with Dave Cameron, says can be trusted at all. But what I do know is that via Blackburn Labour we have learned that Cameron's man in Rossendale has allegedly been in talks with the BNP. Part of an alleged attempt to gain a defector for the blues.

Intriguingly Mr cameron will be in the Rossendale constituency this very afternoon. Could be interesting.

"Lawyer"? He'd say "solicitor" if he was one. So has he been some kind of Legal Executive or Conveyancing Assistant?

More like an estate agent than what most people understand by the term "lawyer"?


UPDATE 21:42: Thanks to David Boothroyd. << A search of the Roll of Solicitors confirms that James Jacob Gilchrist Berry is on it: admitted 15 September 2003 as no. 314052, and now working as an assistant for Halliwells LLP in Manchester. >> My apologies to JJGB for questioning this. CCHQ confirms. I'd change the CV to "solicitor" though.

Also spent the afternoon in and around Bacup. Bit surprised that the three different local papers I picked up in the newsagents opposite Bacup Conservative Club DID NOT have any coverage of this story. Though the GMG one "Rossendale Free Press" had coverage of the Q & A at Stacksteads. My hunting dogs McBride, Draper and Hennigan had a lovely sniff on the East Lancashire moors.

UPDATE: This news report has been running all day on local radio



Hat tip: Blackburn Labour.

Heeeres's Davey: No More Self-Inflicted Wounds Says Axeman



Above was the first scenario and headline that came to mind on hearing reporting of David Blunkett's upcoming speech. But, d'you know what? Read the Guardian Mayday exclusive. Actually the scenario is as below. "Dave, I'm Home!" says David, "You better have some policies on the table." More Shining References.

Cision Blog Rankings: Labour of Love Better Than Expected


SPIT! SPIT! and DEEP SWALLOW. I'd have to agree with Iain Dale's point of view. We sometimes do you know. Agree. And there have been times when we have even said so. Obviously Iain doesn't. He's a bit shy. But I'll not link to any of those just now anyway.

Iain's right. It's quite a surprise to see Labour of Love listed at Number 30: UK Top 50 Blogs - that's ALL blogs by the way, not just political witterings - by some folk called Cision. Tenth in the Political category. 11th if we decide Bloggerheads, ranked 15, is Politics rather than Marketing. Actually it is both. And a damn sight better at marketing than politics. According to My Gran, 103 last month, really.

Then again, as this is all blogs across all sectors, it would have to be a surprise to see Iain Dale ranked second. He couldn't even win an Orwell! He _couldn't_ win an Orwell. _Couldn't_ win an Orwell. _What_ a *fucking* _wanker_! Sang the terraces.

There are lots of omissions. Then again there were and still are lots of quirks in the rankings produced by Iain himself in his own name, and latterly through his organ Total Politics.

In the post Iain reels off some obvious omissions of the left, right and centre. Mostly group blogs as it goes. Conservative Home, arguably the greatest omission of the lot, he doesn't raise.

It is always a pleasure to exceed expectations. Labour of Love has been consistently ranked a top-50 to top-100 political blog by Iain's readers. Somewhere around 30th among these for actual traffic. Sometimes in the top-20 of referrers-to-Iain. By some way the most important measure of blog-portance. We are not worthy oh great Iain! But LOL's not 11th in anything quantitative anyway. Not yet.

We would like to think that the Cision list is based on quality rather than quantity, on fresh not stale, on stone truth over spin cycle, on humble insight over feeble bollocks, on self deprecation over stonking hubris, on climactic potential (going forward) rather than statwank achievement (going nowhere). We'd like to thank our parents, and blah de blah de blah...

That Cision List in full (nicked their code and the result's not so pretty) (stripped out all the code and corrected link 49):

1 http://mashable.com/ Technology
2 http://iaindale.blogspot.com/ Politics
3 http://www.hurryupharry.org/ Politics
4 http://www.badscience.net/ Science
5 http://www.order-order.com/ Politics
6 http://www.bbc.co.uk/blogs/technology/ Technology
7 http://ftalphaville.ft.com/ Finance
8 http://uk.gizmodo.com/ Technology
9 http://uk.techcrunch.com/ Technology
10 http://eureferendum.blogspot.com/ Politics
11 http://devilskitchen.me.uk/ Politics
12 http://timworstall.typepad.com/ Economics
13 http://www.guardian.co.uk/technology/blog Technology
14 http://politicalbetting.com/ Politics
15 http://www.bloggerheads.com/ Marketing
16 http://www.nevillehobson.com/ Technology<
17 http://www.techdigest.tv/ Technology
18 http://www.pickledpolitics.com/ Politics
19 http://b3ta.com/ Humour
20 http://www.eurogamer.net/ Games
21 http://simonwillison.net/ Technology
22 http://www.guardian.co.uk/politics/blog Politics
23 http://www.allaboutsymbian.com/ Technology
24 http://www.coolest-gadgets.com/ Technology
25 http://www.quickstopentertainment.com/Celeb
26 http://www.blog.spoongraphics.co.uk/ Design
27 http://www.davidairey.com/ Design
28 http://www.gapingvoid.com/ Technology
29 http://snptacticalvoting.blogspot.com/ Politics
30 http://chrispaul-labouroflove.blogspot.com/ Politics
31 http://www.forbiddenplanet.co.uk/blog Comics
32 http://www.eatmedaily.com/ Food
33 http://www.headshift.com/blog/ Marketing
34 http://www.guardian.co.uk/media/pda Media
35 http://econsultancy.com/ Technology
36 http://www.shinyshiny.tv/ Technology
37 http://samizdata.net/ Politics
38 http://www.guardian.co.uk/sport/blog Sport
39 http://www.vg247.com/ Games
40 http://www.mobileindustryreview.com/ Technology
41 http://www.hecklerspray.com/Celebrity
42 http://www.blogstorm.co.uk/ Technology
43 http://www.electricpig.co.uk/ Technology
44 http://www.chromasia.com/ Photography
45 http://takingliberties.squarespace.com/ Politics
46 http://www.opendemocracy.net/ Politics
47 http://www.looktothestars.org/ Celebrity
48 http://www.blahblahtech.com/ Technology
49 http://www.caroline-middlebrook.com/blog/ Technology
50 http://www.davidnaylor.co.uk/ Technology


FOOTNOTE Fri 10:19: The Cision methodology is interesting and far more robust than say the Total Politics rankings. Based on opt-in top-ten list creation from a network emanating from the deeply conservative Iain Dale's Diary. This one is based on in-bound links, traffic, number of updates, total posts, plus a little Cision nous ... and there you have it.