Rory Bremner: Jokers Charlie and Ronnie Melded

Rory Bremner TV and 'phone prank tormenter of pollies pulled quite a stunt tonight melding Lord Charlie Falconer with Ronnie Corbett.

Lord Charlie is Blair's old chum, quickly bounced into parliament by the back door, but that did not stop him joining Baroness Amos and "Good Lord" Geoff Hoon lecturing Labour Conference 2005 on "engaging with the electorate". I kid you not.

Two peers like Brighton itself. Telling rank and file Labour Party and Labour Movement folk how to do elections. What a cheek! We tried to stop it mind. Several of us moved "reference back" speeches to ditch the thing and I suggested replacing these clowns with a comradely address from Walter Wolfgang who had been so rudely ejected for saying boo to a goose.

Got more support in the room than most such things with the platform glaring and the unofficial whips whipping. But sadly we got the half hour of pointless peerage. Or patronisage?

Will see if I can dust down and blog Walter's thoughts - on Gordon Brown, New Labour, Trident and the like - which he gave me in an interview which appeared in condensed form in Red Pepper's Natural Born Rebel feature.

UPDATE: Partner who sensibly avoids Rory Bremner's work was bemused by my assertion that Bremner was seguing Falconer and Corbett. In fact they are from more or less the same street in Edinburgh. Good spot RB, and LOL.

Blogtastic: Little Pot Boiler

I'll be brief. Last night's party terrific, raffle magic taking home a half dozen of Geoff Bridson's Salmonella Specials (more - possibly recipes and pictures anon), some fantastic and very bloggable gossip.

Before that the food shop saw a renowned local anti-megastore campaigner shopping at one - outside his constituency - though this blogger couldn't attract eye contact as the sad man kept looking at his shoes. Then it dawned on me. There was something about those shoes ... more anon on that too.

This morning some sociable work on the knocker in Burnage, teamed up with Naheed and Tarus, and meeting the famous ex-Labour councillor Sam Darby and knife-waving Linda (more and picture anon). Jenny and Lucy also spotted. Latter in the midst of a "Clot" of Bradleyites. Not saying Nargis or Yogesh weren't there mind.

Naheed is going to do the Trotty hustings which means Lorenzo23 will be voting for Lucy - unless that is he changes his radical SWP-baiting position over the news that it is good Churchians wot did it.

Next stop: The White Swan in Ladybarn to help Withington BLP with their campaign (2pm, 3:30pm for lordly buffet). This was an old haunt of mine in cricketing days. Will miss watching the World Cross country with Tomas and Tarus (supporting Kenya and Ethiopia respectively).

There is just a chance that a Londoner will get in the mix. And the GB women may be medallists.

Kenyans have been less dominant, even beaten in the World Cross these last few years. Particularly by a Mr Bekele who has been doubling up and winning TWO races in TWO days.

But this year it is in Mombassa - zigging round a small part of a Golf Course - and the Kenyans'll be on home turf. And they've cancelled the second race ...

UPDATE: Good session campaigning in Withington. Five times as many volunteers as Dolores ever had last time out. Which seems desperately unfair. But so it goes. Some bloggables to follow. Meanwhile in Mombassa the thought of only having one race to win was too much for poor Bekele who dropped out. Kenyan teams won men's senior and junior races. A Kenyan woman won the women's individual as well. And if she had still carried a Kenyan passport that would have meant a clean sweep in the teams, but she's a Netherlander now. Cockney Mo Farah (GB) had an amazing run - as predicted here - for 10th.

Roy Harper Apologises: Should Have Kept Shirt On

A Sad Soul's Lament

When an old cricketer
Loses his shirt, yeah
Tis a very sad day for the game
So I've been on the Mac
And I've covered my back
And my chest for that
Matter, as well, yeah

Copywrong Roy of the Heath

Hackney Marshes: Isn't That Pathetic?

Some friends of Luke Akehurst have gone too far this time. They really have. They have apparently been impersonating councillors to get strange catch phrases and bizarre content into their local rag. Either that or the councillor geezer did himself in.

Thankfully only Lib Dems do that sort of thing in our town. Well not "thankfully", you know, they should be barred, but what I'm saying is that Labour don't do it. A letter full of cliches? For a bet? Must be a Lib Dem or a Tory letter.

Some Tory did one about rats near the canal the other day! Started "Didn't you just know ... there are rats near the canal".

Well I'll be blowed! Rats near the canal? You're having a laugh! Ain't yah? Well ain't yah? Particularly near all the crap Tory fecking candidates don't dispose of properly. You can see that LOL're very sympathetic?

The last time the Lib Dems made a habit of bogus letters they lost a councillor and many many hearts and minds. Quite right too. They are disgraceful liars and hoaxers.

RELOCATION: NO, it is NOT true. Your unofficial Manchester Labour blogger has not relocated permanently to Hackney. They already have lots of bloggers there in 21st Century Hackney. It's original and modern.

Diane Abbot: Let's Talk Real Politik Not Scurrilous and Frankly Unrealistic Gossip

Miles from Action-Without-Theory posted a wild story as a comment HERE (top of the pops) overnight. I promised to blog about it myself and started this post fully ten hours ago.

Essentially the story was that Diane Abbot was to be flung out on her ear after facing what sounds an excruciating and extraordinary process of being taken to something called a "Trigger Ballot" - shotgun for ya! This followed a delightful wind up of a story over at Dave Osler's place. Picture: Double Act of Abbot and Some Fella

In fact Diane Abbot "faces a trigger ballot" like every single sitting Labour MP. How does this work? Branch Labour Parties and affilated unions and societies get together and are provided with a whip's report and have a discussion. Then they vote, in this case, on the simple matter - should Diane be affirmed here and now or face a re-selection contest?

Generally speaking positive incumbency effects outweigh any negatives and the risk of starting from scratch with a new candidate, possibly less well known than the opposition's, and people tend to vote for the status quo.

But if most of them vote for a re-selection contest then there would be one. This is already a bit far-fetched - unless New Labour tried to push the Trade Unions to take part in a putsch and they agreed to play ball.

Seems to me that if this were to happen - and these things rarely do, even when (or especially when) hyped in the press - that Diane would (a) probably get a bit of roughing up then get a shortlist of one or (b) beat any and all contenders hands down.

But it ain't going to happen.

The preposterous story among the conspiracists and fantasists is that the LEFT would do Diane in. Absolutely blooming ridiculous. The right would be more likely. But then again they may also be more likely to understand the tactics and recognise the positive incumbency and the positive name recognition.

And having a couple of hours on political TV most weeks is probably seen as a GOOD THING by the general public and conscientious activists alike.

Obviously the ginger nut arms dealer would not be able to deal on this one as if it came to pass it would be an AWS.

Seems to me that naming three local councillors who may or not be available should the day come is rather scurrilous and just a bit "Trotty-Petulant", though perhaps not as bad/good as "giving good headline" to The Daily Telegraph outside Brighton Conference Centre and then showing your CLP badge and giving your name as the Ultra Blairite delegate instead of your own. (Sadly 18-24 months out in blood on carpet predictions.)

The good headline? In answer to the question "What did you think of Blair's speech?". the reply straight off the bat: "Dead Man Talking". The comrade - a Londonista, non-mocha division. This comrade LOL'd and took some flack for repeating the anecdote and the LOL'ing to a stern London MP. He had sadly flunked in the ritual Brightom Karoake and was in a grumpy mood.

The man most likely to organise a carve up in Hackney North has other fish to fry and reports TODAY:

Diane Abbott was on top form and extremely funny, and won my son's vote in the reselection trigger ballot by giving him a kitkat bar to keep him quiet.

Mr Osler's blog shows there is a degree of jitters in Diane's camp about the trigger process. I gather this is because the forces to the left of her (we have them in Hackney) might vote not to reselect her (because of her son's private schooling and her support for Livingstone's position on the East London Line Extension - i.e. private sector involvement).

I'm not convinced she has anything to worry about. Yes there are a lot of people who will vote against her in some of the ward parties, but I'm not sure they will carry a majority even of the wards, and almost all the affiliates will vote in Diane's favour.

Getting her triggered would require a lot of organisation - and as the person who would, if minded to, do that organising, I can report that I'm not doing it because a) the political disbenefits for Labour in the seat outweigh any advantages it would bring and b) I have other selection fish to fry in the coming months in Walthamstow.

For once I have to agree with Luke Akehurst. This analysis from the BBC concerns the Black and Minority Ethnic (BME) candidates for the main parties in 2005. Labour had less but many were defending or placed in realistic winnables - way ahead of the other parties on Equality.

Labour parties de-selecting black women sitting MPs as candidates anywhere is very unlikely I feel. Selecting more BME candidates however is very desirable indeed.

- How many BME MPs and MEPs do Labour have in the North West?
- What is the proportion of BME voters in our safest seats?
- Why on earth doesn't Greater Manchester has some BME MPs?

UPDATE: I'm told by a man in the know (Ginger Nut) that this seat would NOT see an AWS if Diane were de-selected. Tom Watson MP posted this comment at Dave's Part:

Hahahahahahaha.
You want to deselect Diane Abbott?
That would be the sort of nihilistic, self-hating idiocy of the hard left we have all come to love. You're seriously thinking about deselecting the most articulate voice the hard left has in parliament?
Her bourgeois antics deserve punishing. I mean, to communicate with the workers, peasants and intellectuals through the anachronistic medium of the wireless television. What a splitter.
God bless the 'Ackney Norf hardcore Trot cadre crew.
Posted by Tom | 11:56, 23 March 2007

Tom (at the link above) also has a fascinating excerpt from an interview with one of Cameron's Eton Rifles on defections to the Tories.

Bob Woolmer, Rest In Peace: When An Old Cricketer Leaves the Crease

Bob Woolmer's death has shocked the World of Cricket. Here in blogland it has found warring factions Prague Tory, Action-Without-Theory and Barry's beef united - just this once.

There is a Tribute and Trust fund site HERE and the Daily Gleaner's latest story from which the Fan's Tribute picture was taken is HERE.

Wiki link for Roy Harper's Song Here and this is connected because I saw the old folker in a room above a pub in Edgbaston, AND Roy was born in Rusholme, Manchester 14 scene of some of my own finest hours at the wicket, AND Roy played and watched much of his cricket in Lancashire.

When the moment comes, and the gathering stands,
And the clock turns back to reflect,
On the years of grace, as those footsteps trace,
For the last time out of the act.
Well this way of life's recollection
The hallowed strip in the haze,
The fabled men, and the moonday sun,
Are much more than just yarns of their days...

Big Issue John Bird: Renounced as Mayoral Candidate

Tory bloggers have turned on the man that their leader Dave/id Cameron was so keen to have as the Tory candidate for the London Mayoralty. Adam McQueen's reposted 2002 article on the subject of JB's management style is called in evidence.

This is not a blow to John Bird who will just roll his sleeves up and get on with his winning Chim-Chimeny ways down the Old Kent Road. But it is another major stain on Cameron's Cuddly Nu Tory copybook. His judgement is pants. Big pants.

CAPTION: Galloway for Mayor? Gratuitous red lycra with Pete Burns.

BBC Radio Five: Horny Dilemmas, Keep It Real

BBC Radio Five is my radio of choice much of the time. Kids and partner will agitate for Radio 1 or Cheese FM but if I have a choice it's often Five Live with an occasional dabble for TMS or DID on Four.

Yesterday on Drive Peter Allen introduced an item on dilemmas. His first example was of a group of survivors in a sinking life boat who knew that one of their number would soon die but leaving them aboard will sink the lot of them. I don't think that one is at all hard. Do you?

What would you count as a real dilemma, political or otherwise, that really needs one of those hard choices we speak of. Not just whether to tie Public Services to decades of debt. A real hard choice. The bull is charging. Dart left (above) or dart right? Answers in comments please.

Manchester Withington Selection: Disappointment from Lucy on Head-to-Head Hustings

Action Without Theory has just posted a Man Wit nomination exclusive. Miles is working on USA West Coast time or the like so please don't worry about his insomnia - just add seven hours.

Miles claims that Lucy has told the organisers that she thinks: "the selection is an 'internal matter' for party members". Which is something along the lines Lorenzo23 expressed in comments here last evening.

Presumably this means that Lucy would agree to take part in a head-to-head hustings with the other nominees so long as only Labour Party members are allowed to attend. Many would see that as a step in the right direction and would welcome organisation of this immediately before or after the public session.

At the time of writing only Jenny Lennox is known to have accepted the invitation - from a collection of church, community and single issue groups, leavened with a few politicians from assorted parties and sects.

Jenny said: "I think the Labour Party needs to engage with the anti-war movement in the constituency." Also invited are Cllr Nargis Khan, Dr Yogesh Virmani, and Naheed Arshad-Mather MBE.

UPDATE: I am told that as of tea time today Jenny, Nargis and Yogesh have accepted invitations and I believe that all are prepared to double up and do a members only meeting with Lucy.

Tory Blogger: Stunned By GB's Lesson for Tax Mad Tories Does Snot Joke

In fact it's a horrid (not very), childish (very) video with pervy childish tittering and mad crowing. Gordon fidgets, thumbs nose at Tories, and picks spanking new teeth, gnashing brilliantly like a croc ready to pounce on a colonial slaver.

MEANWHILE: On Tory benches Smug Marginal MPs sit happily.

They have rushed from their city jobs and hair of the dog breakfasts.

But they are 50 minutes away from brown trousers over Brown's Basic-rate Bombshell. A Tory Twilight Zone.

He's BEHIIIIND you!

Manchester Withington Selection: Anti-War Letters and Head-to-Head Hustings

Today's South Manchester Distorter Readers' Letters feature was the fourth in succession to carry a letter from a potential Man Wit candidate expressing opposition to the Iraq War.

In order of publication these were from Nargis Khan who opposed the war and Trident replacement, Jenny Lennox who did likewise and had attended the latest London Demo, Naheed Arshad-Mather who adds her anti-Trident letter this week, and now Yogesh Virmani. 80% of the remaining five candidates. Perhaps next week will bring a full house?

We are also heartened to see that Chorlton Against War have organised a special head-to-head hustings for the five prospective candidates with all welcome to attend. The meeting - on Thursday 29 March at 7:30pm will also give an opportunity to inspect the new meeting facilities at Chorlton Library. Will there be enough space?

Questions are expected to range widely across all areas of government policy and constituency issues.

After all money spent on making war cannot be spent on making our Metrolink better.

This one really is a five-line whip. Hopefully it will be filmed and YouTubed.

UPDATE: This post has triggered some heat in the comments on two red herring issues. One: a mischievious story about Diane Abbot being unseated. And two: some concern about a face-to-face hustings organised by Trots. For clarification although the blessed MK sent the letter in to the Distorter he did so on behalf of a broad group of local people of all parties and none. CND, churchies and mosquies prominent.

Dave Osler: Lists LOL and Addle

Dave Osler's Dave'spart blog has added both your humble blogger and friend Adele (Crazy World) to his blogroll. I'm chuffed.

Dave is a consistently good source of interesting and well-researched posts and being as he has worked his way back to Labour from the independent left he attracts some Trotty flame interest.

He has analysis of the phenomenon of Big Issue founder John Bird standing for London Mayor and of independents in general. Comments go off on tangents about Galloway and PR.

Bird was a WRP-er when the Libyan money was pouring into their paper. But that's not all. “Actually,” someone called John Bird told the Standard in 1997, “I was a member of something called the Socialist Party of Great Britain at school for a while. You had to pass an exam, you know. You could not just join”. I am now told by a comrade that this may have been John Bird of Bremner, Bird and Fortune. Nonetheless Big Issue John Bird is a former sectarian leftie.

We had The Big Issue in Manchester in 1992, soon after the 1991 launch in London and the sale of the previously fiercely independent City Life, which I had co-founded, sold to the auld enemy MEN that we had set up specifically to counter.

John Bird was impressed with Ruth Turner and sprang to her aid: “I just don’t believe this. She was religiously straight - almost like a zealot.” Which may translate roughly to 'Ruth simply wouldn't let me pull the fiddles I wanted'!!

AND ANOTHER THING: Despite his revolutionary socialist background Bird was courted assiduously by Cameron's Tories to be their candidate. They are making some strange moves on recruitment and selection. But no-one is taken in. Same old same old.

EXCLUSIVE (ish): Hazel Blears' Ginger Nut Coming At Ya on You Tube

Homage to Notting Hill and WebCameron.

A Taste of Honey with your ginger nuts?

A real shot in the arm for Salford - just the ticket on the estates.

Remember: Nargis Khan got there first. Still waiting for Jenny, Naheed, Yogesh and Lucy. We let the MEN break it though we've known for hours. What do you all think?

Back to Bloke's Blog: How Will They Follow That?

Spare a thought for the Chorlton Blogger waiting anxiously for the follow up to the Lib Dems' Shameless exposure of a blog story seen by approximately 50 Town Hall insiders to 80,000 readers.

Some fan mail has arrived at LoL which suggests that the fearless blogger was the only one to emerge with any sort of credit from the South Manchester Distorter's debacle.

The paper printed a "story" that was six weeks old on page three. The reporter was confused. Lib Dems railed against free speech. Labour had it both ways - "nothing to do with us" and "we'll have the bastard".

Confusing times in the strange world of the "Interweb" which these grey surfers sadly do not understand. Next instalment on mats shortly. We'll keep you posted.

Wimbledon Beckons: Anyone For Tennis?

Anyone for Tennis? You've seen the Wimbledon announcement presumably? Lord Levy might fancy a run out? He's at home in the courts I've heard. Steve Bell Merchandise.

Michael Meacher: What a Cheeky Old Comrade He Is

Mr Meacher has quoted this blog on his Facebook home - which has less adherents in the whole country than he needs votes from the PLP - without attribution and severely out of context. He cherry picks the words "class act" from THIS post where they were followed directly by:

But essentially Meacher has the same platform as John McDonnell without quite the same degree of integrity and judgement, something which Meacher himself salutes before spinning yarns about parliamentary nominations in the bag.

Backing Blair on Iraq, conspiricising on 9-11, owning millions of pounds of residential buy-to-let do not a wise leader or an exemplary socialist make. I look forward to Alex Hilton interviewing John McDonnell, and who knows another candidate who is from the centre left, yet distinctive from the left candidate, and unimpeachable.

A Class Act indeed. He has also strenuously resisted posting a link to THIS POST for some reason. And they say Gordon is the old Tanky?

TANKY TEST: Are you reading? If so please check your spelling of camapign@michaelmeacher.info which looks faulty.
McDONNELL LINK: on Facebook HERE.

John Bolton: Bush's Cheerleader Claiming He Was "Only Following Orders"

My, how very unpopular GW Bush's Iraq Strategy (and United Nations Strategy for that matter) has become when Mr John Bolton, wild-eyed and rather Stalin-moustachioed Bush ultra is now using the excuses so recently not employed by one Oliver Finegold when harrassing a certain Local Government politician at a party for the LGB Community.

Incidentally the Judgement from Ken's trial showed the absolute short shrift the Judge gave to Finegold and The Standard's arguments. Particularly in light of an unexplained exision from the famous tape and transcript. An exision which has received insufficient attention from the press who are presumably protecting their own.

Newsnight, including budget analyses and debate, with DC back to left parting after dabbling with centrism, and even Ming's own people nodding off during his bit, available ONLINE for 24 hours.

Bolton's apostacy is 32 minutes in.

Frank Luntz's GIMMICKY FOCUS is also there.

I've seen less manipulative and more scientific medium shows with Mystic Rose.

Derive: All Roads Lead From and To Chorlton Park

As blogged earlier I had a fine walk with my trusty dogs this morning. Only downside was a faltering camera. But there are always pictures out there if you know where to look.

Proceed to Chorlton Park, the Water Park to be precise, exactly one mile around and one of my stamping grounds for almost 30 years now. Along the high road to Mersey Bank fields and on and on along the banks through Didsbury to Northenden.

All the while meeting and greeting or at least spotting dogs and owners strutting their stuff. And in glorious sunshine, albeit with a nip in the air, this was a veritable Crufts and Scruffs of the Mersey Bank.

First noteworthy encounter wasn't actually an encounter. Distracting the dogs so they didn't see I watched some stern old trooper schooling a poor Whippet pup in how to walk nice. A vertical lead in his left hand pulling the poor little thing erect and a stick in the right keeping him eyes forward.

Sheesh, some way to live! My three have been shown at a couple of lurcher shows and have a collection of rosettes but I take the judges at their word when they say they can put up with some snarling and insolence as long as no blood is drawn.

Onwards down the banks to the weir at the Tatton Arms it is across the foam with a few close encounters and onto leads for a stroll through the village. At the top of Boat Lane bump into Edwin who is rushing home to feed his Jack Russell. A lovely chat about the new Council doggie by-laws, doggie nutrition and doggie care. Onwards past a "Doggie In the Window" scenario where the camera is a particular let down.

And on and on. Past Jehovah's Witness HQ, the scruffiest Hotel in the Western World, and on to Wythenshawe Park. Another of my most regular stamping grounds, again for 30 years. A place of triumphs and despair.

But today of new mown meadows with their aroma of global warming. Of walking through one "Round" and round another. Of a close encounter with a golden retriever puppy and her Kurdish owner. Of a march past old Cromwell, climbing up to inspect but alas not photograph the presentation rubric.

Onwards past the West Lodge to Rackhouse Road and Kenworthy Farm and down towards the river. Great chat with some Park Guys about a ridiculously huge sign proclaiming "Oil Interception" (or similar, no camera) which reflects a sump underground which collects chemicals spilt on the motorway.

"So is it to stop people digging there?" I ask, the spot having been both undug and unprotected by signs for at least 30 years. "Yes" they say "But who will dig there?!" I ask "We might" they replied but they were uncertain why a huge sign - readable from the motorway itself might be needed. Short chat about the dogs' varied hunting instinct ensues.

Onwards towards the Water Park. But two Horseback Bobbies (more soon, I promise) are approaching and I decide to duck the dogs through a putative hawthorn hedge and avoid any confrontation. "Bobby" shouts a thank you. And I allow the change of course to persist and the dogs are pleased to encounter new ground.

When we reach the "bumps" they know by the Electricity Station and I have a guy relaxing on a bench laughing out loud with some amazing anecdote I cannot now remember. But then a huge rabbit, or perhaps a hare, runs across our path. The dogs are off, but way too late. I decide if they catch it it will be (a) a dead hare and (b) definitely a hare. But it is probably a rabbit with a hole to go to and it certainly lives.

Back to the banks and we meet a fidgety Border Terrier and then onwards via a Giant Schnauzer to Chorlton Park and home.

All roads ... Chorlton Park, just at the moment.

Homophobia Special : Disgusted of Tonbridge Wells

Bloggerheads produced the above re-working of the following piece of "Christian" propaganda. Unfortunately we have now missed today's 1pm Fascist Rally in Parliament Square. This reminds me of the National Front protest at Manchester Pride last year. Which I may come back to and blog when I get a moment. But no promises. One of these days I'll catch up.



As Tom Watson and Hamer Shawcross say this is one of the worst pieces of propaganda ever seen on our shores. Presented under the title "What The Government Doesn't Want You To Know" you can also see it in context and read and perhaps add to the comments HERE. There are even fascist bigots writing in pretending to be gay, like this one:

"I'm gay, and quite happy to be one, but I think the government is perfectly capable of enforcing this kind of education. If you don't believe that, go to the Daily Mail webpage and type in 'Outcry over explicit sex education video shown to five-year-olds'

The Daily Mail! Hallelujah, that's God's honest truth then is it. The propaganda has been seen by around 15,000 and the most popular response video to date by just over 1,000.

Meanwhile lefthand mini screen below shows Peter Tatchell trying to have a civilised conversation with a mad cleric, known by the CCTV scum who produced this simply as "The Bishop". Just so everyone knows how wrong he is he is later endorsed by Papa Doc Ian Paisley. To the right is a reasoned six minute response to the major lies and distortions in the propaganda film. It has a more measured pace then the other items but is none the worse for that.

Guido Fawkes: Found on a HP Photocopier

Guido Fawkes - the blogger, not the failed left footed regicide (sorry Lorenzo) - is scrupulously careful and must therefore have something against one of Labour's Flintshire MPs.

Fawkes or his co-conspirators have found a helpful Gordon Brown form press release on a photocopier somewhere - or spoiling the illusion been sent one - by their own speedy MP keen to spread good news fast. But after blocking out almost all the clues as to where it's come from they've left in (or inserted) one clue that is "Flintshire".

So are they targeting and trying to turn Agent Hanson seen (above) spreading light and happiness with Comrade Miliband (eyes left and following his master in inadequate sockage), raised a devout Marxist; or would red spy Mark Hami (right) be Guido's delight, clutching a great Russian Dirigiste Bear close to his chest?

ACTION AGAINST MUGABE PETITION

Just been out for a lovely long walk in the sun with the dogs. Report later if I get a chance. Meanwhile click and sign to urge Mbeki and others to tighten the noose round Mugabe's activity.

Dumb Cluster Bombs: Victory For Dumb Arms Lobbyist Willie Rennie? Or Friendly Fire? Shooting Self in Foot? Or Even a Bomb Boon for Raytheon?

Back to this one later. No doubt the Johnnie-come-lately of arms restriction - LoL is blogging as someone who wore a CAAT badge on my school blazer c 1974 when it was first founded - will claim credit for this.

Open Democracy: Dizzy Worms in Zimbabwe

Zimbabwe is on its knees. Michael Holman proposes a surprise recovery plan, while Stephen Chan assesses Robert Mugabe's role. In short he is a brilliant scholar but he has soft hands. He has never worked the soil as a farmer. Open Democracy is a very good read and recommended.
ACTION AGAINST MUGABE PETITION

Wilberforce Lecture 2007: Hope Again Springs Eternal

Today's Wilberforce Address 2007 at The Emmanuel Centre, 9-23 Marsham Street, Westminster SW1P 3DW will be ending in 20 minutes or so. It is special, naturally as the 200th Anniversary of the abolition of the slave trade is commemorated.

Back in 1987 a certain member of the Bullingdon Boys might have been rather surprised to find himself on this particular platform 20 years hence. He has already of course apologised for the wicked Tory matriarch (more on whom anon) getting things so wrong on Apartheid.

I suppose he might be so moved by the Choir of Judah's spirituality that he adds an explanation on why he himself was tempted to defy the NUS campaign as a young Oxonian and bank in purdah with Barclays. As suspected by the rightist Prospect magazine in 2005, shortly before he got the Tory Boy top job.

He might also like to reflect on the fortunes of his Bullingdon chums and Eton classmates built literally on the backs of slaves. And explain the thinking behind his sadly unsuccessful monstering of immigrants in his dog-whistle campaign for Michael Howard's 2005 debacle.

Are you thinking what I'm thinking? Quite possibly. Good work DC! I'm sure the Conservative Christians and the Great British Public will be taken in and believe that you truly are a son of god, a su-un of god. And good golly, not a racist.

ILLUSTRATIONS TO FOLLOW.

Brim Full of ASHA: Hope Springs Eternal

Yesterday I went to the relaunch and Zion house warming of ASHA (Asylum Support Housing Advice) which is a fantastic organisation which helps asylum seekers and refugees who would otherwise be destitute by one route or another.

Principally it prepares Section 4 applications under the Immigration and Asylum Act of 1999. Destitution is not some unwitting function of the State's practices, rules and laws in my view. It is a determined tool to drive people - in fear of their lives - to go "home" to face mortal danger.

Asylum seekers themselves form 100% or currently 90% of the Management Committee and in the past couple of years 650 Section 4 victories have been won. The missing 10% who had just had a new claim open was arrested and eventually flown out of our welcoming country.

Asha means hope in Urdu - hence the song - Brim Full of Asha - and the stickers and numbers on their map detail of which I will add to this post shortly shows destitute people from most of the globe benefitting.

By far and away the largest numbers in the current scheme of things are from two countries: Iraq and Iran. When Boris Johnson bellyaches about some White Rhodesian chummy getting a bit of bovver from the IND at Croydon I'm sorry but I ain't all that sympathetic. Boris' chum has the friends and the funds to prosper. ASHA's clients do not.

TRIVIA MOMENT: Obviously it goes without saying that the glorious backing vocals on Brim Full of Asha on tour with Cornershop are often provided by the bootiful and talented Ms Doreen Edwards, singer of Distant Cousins op cit.

Roadside Bookseller: Impulse Purchases for Auction

Returning home from the paper shop I came across a roadside book seller with lots of titles for 50p. Decided to buy four - not quite at random, I can sniff a bargain book wise - and try to turn £2 (or £2.10 as the mendicant scoundrel affected to have no change) into, who knows? £10, £20, even £50 with some proficient eBaying.

Have I bought useful titles in this regard?

- Dennis Wheatley Traitors' Gate a new Gregory Sallust story
First Edition 1958 Book Club Edition i.e. pocket format and smaller print.
Good to fine, no pen marks or clipping except neat owners name on DJ which is also good to fine, intact with a few small tears. Street maps of Budapest inside F and B with Plan of Tower of London facing.

- Enid Blyton The Rockingdown Mystery Line drawings by Gilbert Dunlop
First/Third 1950, Collins
Fine + boards and pages, but no DJ except scrap as bookmark

- Capt WE Johns Another Job For Biggles Illustrated inc some pen and wash by Stead.
First edition 1951 and print. Hodder and Stoughton
12th of series. Fair. No DJ. Scouse, untidy scribble of owner. Tape marks.

And finally
- Enid Blyton Naughty Amelia Jane! Illustrated by Sylvia I Venus.
Seventh edition or printing 1947, George Newnes
Tight pages, spine faded, some splash on front cover
Big print for younger children and BNP members

I know, I know, a bag of nails. But I can see a major multiplier on my investment in stock and will spend no more than 30 minutes or so of hobby time listing on eBay ... The Wheatley may do the job on its own. One in a shop for £14.99 though there is a bit of a glut of copies.

Dale Free Day: Will LoL Hold Out and Not Link to Iain's Diary?

I can handle it. Graphic from Way 2 Quit dot com. How did they know how addictive the man's mutterings can be? Must confess I have been over and had a sneaky look. But so far so good.

Apple Computer: "1984 Won't Be Like 1984"

The Original and Best - I Thunk Different

With Sub-Titles - Ridley Scott Thunk of Everything

John Leech Biffed: "I Do Not Think the Hon Gentleman Has Been Following the Discussion"

See it in context HERE with Withington Observer decreeing "What a plonker". Not sure that is allowed really?

Think Different: Making Of

As a Macintosh person these last 20 years plus I have loved this campaign. Still no clip to hand of the original Superbowl Big Brother advert ... but I know it's out there ... and if I think Different I'll find it.

Hillary 1984: Revisited

Have comprehensively re-written yesterday's post about USA attack adverts. Politics really is a very dirty business in the US of A and the scales have fallen off my eyes. Thanks goodness there is not such intra-party warring in my neighbourhood!

National Rail Card System: Number 10 "Market Forces" Reply to Green Rail E-Petition

You recently signed a petition asking the Prime Minister to
"create a national railcard and make all train fares more
affordable than the corresponding car journeys, for the sake of
our environment."

The Prime Minister's Office has responded to that petition and
you can view it here:
http://www.number-10.gov.uk/output/Page11214.asp

Prime Minister's Office

Petition info: http://petitions.pm.gov.uk/Train-fares/

Some valid points under the marketised model. But surely time for HMG to phase out the privateers and re-unite the rail and the stock?

Anyone who follows a PTA or PTE's business (trainspotters of the world unite) will know that service subsidies are a racket which the operators play with panache.

Lord Turncoat: Gordon Brown "Stalinist Ruthlessness"

Hardly the big story which the bored media make it. Tomorrow: Pope "Wears Pointy Hat", Bear "Facilities in Woods", Dog "Bites Man".

David Blunkett: Still Thinks He's Home Secretary for the West Midlands

Dizzy has found a West Midlands police website that still has mega-rich-Sun-columnist-and-subject-of-satire David Blunkett as Home Secretary. Dizzy rather unfairly blames the Home Office rather than WMP although the former did give a link to the WMP site in a Press Release. Click here, click eye, click news and Blunk's still there. He really is! Oh yes he is!

Hillary 1984: "Barack Obama's" Classy Advert Gets Monstered by "Vote Smart"

Didn't find the big one (above) on Iain Dale's Diary. That would be the smaller one (below left, right with intro). I just let my own fingers do the walking. Is this accusing Senator Clinton of being a self-hating woman a precursor for Republicans to monster each candidate in turn using the Democrats' own material? Is it even the Democrats' own material? God this stuff is dirty. Would these Republican Trolls prefer Newt Gingrich or Rudy Guiliani for their feminism and their shenanigans? Clearly this very defamatory and ugly attack advert is not produced by the real Vote Smart which abhors negative campaigning. As well as ripping off a Barack Obama attack ad - which may well have nothing to do with BO, still less Apple and may instead be a "delete hillary" pre-roll, again trying to damage BOTH leading Democrat contenders - they are passing off as Vote Smart. Still no spoofs of Blair's "Am I bovvered?". Quite a way to get yet to reach The American Way. Thank goodness for that.

Just now I cannot find the Apple Superbowl advert "Think Different" on which these are all based.

DALE "EXCLUSIVE": Mirror Editor Joshes with Select Committee

High Tory blogger Iain Dale's knickers are in a twist. His political friend Dave/id Cameron has been the victim of some bin-nobbling by the rats of the tabloid press and their disgusting vermin investigators.

They have found lots of recyclables - but as yet no evidence whatsoever of policies - in the wannabe PM and former restaurant smasher and toker's rubbish bins.

Worst of all some distant managing editor has joshed with a PSC that they don't go through bins and (contradicting humourously) there is nothing much of value in them anyway. Laughter from Hon Members.

Dave/id Cameron should either get a lockable bin to hide his recycling gaffes OR, perhaps better, do a better job on his environmentally friendly mythology by sticking to it.

Out with lurchers, greyhound and partner yesterday met a brace of fantastic husky puppies. Perhaps three or four months old, soft and cuddly and ready to tow Mr Cameron's trike to the recycling bins at the drop of a hat tip.

CAPTION: Delighted children bussed out from NAS digs in Cowley are pleased to recycle tons of landfill created by Mr Cameron and his nuclear family. "Thank goodness Mr David is such a muck rabbit*" said one asylum seeker "Mr Gordon gave us nothing. * Translated from native Xhosa.

Michael Meacher: Claimed 30+ Backers Now Just Two? One of Whom is Himself

Grim Up North has posted a comment on my blog about Michael Meacher's candidacy, showing his quite impressive video but doubting the comrades can or should forgive him for his mistakes. GUN says that Meacher is now down to two MP Backers and that Political Betting have the story. Though not Ms Grim the assertion about Meacher having only two backers left.

PB say that Brown's people are briefing that McDonnell will get his 44. I've always thought they'd want it and that Brown of the Manse would adopt the Catholic Practice of the plenary indulgence (which Blair is himself relying on) for any centrist voting for left footer McDonnell to provide a sporting contest. So take a look.

No former Ministers, current conspiracists, or land rentier millionaires were harmed in the making of this LoL montage. The drying blood belongs to Tory dead cert David Davis.

UPDATE: Ms Grim not Mr Grim. Now asking LoL who the two are when she introduced the assertion that it is two!! I understand that his two backers are (a) Michael Meacher and (b) The Scarlet Pimpernel. No, what's this? There is a third you say? Madame Guillotine his-self?

EXCLUSIVE Dave/id Cameron: Parting is Already Moving Rightwards

Controversy over Dave/id's parting move from right to left this week ... well today he seems to be intermittently modelling a centre parting. He's washed his hair and can't do a thing with it. Same goes for Tory policies. But it doesn't wash.
UPDATE: Metro nicked this overnight so Guardian Diary won't pay. Have a heart guys. A blogger has to live.

Cllr John"Two Jobs" Leech MP: One Step Forward, Three Steps Back

There are moments when it looks like John Leech might grow up and stop messing about. But such moments are it seems bound to be dashed on the rocks of disappointment.

I thought I'd caught him doing right when he stood up against Cluster Bombs. But alas he was using a script prepared by the hypocritical charlatan Willie Rennie who used to part-own and lobby for McEwan Purvis who work for the major arms dealer who made many of the Cluster Bombs in circulation. And he hasn't put it behind him. In fact Rennie was fitting in arms factory visits to cluster bomb makers between handing questions to Leech to spout.

He is forever appearing to stand up for our police. But when the details are examined he is doing no such thing. Rather undermining our bobbies, hoaxing residents, telling untruths and insulting Hon Members at Westminster.

Hats off John for securing a Westminster Hall debate. But quite a birthday present for me when he had to repeatedly apologise to Hon Members he had INSULTED, had to admit the budget for next year is BALANCED, and his point on clawbacks - was now COMPLETELY UNTRUE.

Schoolboy error after schoolboy error.

Cllr Leech has failed to include his Chorlton Park ward in the list of those he represents as an MP on his website. And he has followed what I think is a rather disreputable practice of taking adverts in political leaflets to subsidise them without recording donations. One of the snags that his colleague Chris Huhne came up against in his futile leadership campaign.

But my particular cause for disappointment today is that he has let us all down by illegally spending taxpayers money on political literature for the SECOND YEAR RUNNING and by distributing this propaganda outside his constituency AGAIN. Mug shots of local government candidates throughout. It's a "parliamentary report" with no relevance in timing to the parliamentary year or his own second anniversary in the house. But good timing for interference in local elections.

He had raised my hopes by correctly referring a letter about Trident from my brilliant daughter to her MP Tony Lloyd just a couple of days ago. Bit of a waste of money sending a letter to her saying he'd done this. But he clearly knows we're not in his constituency. How many like this did he send? But anyway, hopes dashed again.

It's official and irrefutable. Leech is a wide boy and unworthy to be Manchester Withington's MP.

Parbury Politica: Less Carrot and More Stick For Manky Lib Dems

Will Parbury is back after a hiatus. Offering solidarity, endorsing comment here that Frank looks like Norman and Chorlton Park Lib Dems are Shameless, but as a dyed-in-the-wool Reidite* toughie he urges that sparing the rod will spoil the child :

Chris Paul - He's been getting himself into a little bother recently. First there was the Lib Dem councillor looky likey thing. Well I have news for people. There is a resemblence. It's fair comment.

But I personally have a complaint. I think CP was being far to easy on the Manchester Lib Dems. They are a complete waste of space, morally and politically bankrupt and couldn't run a bath let alone a city.

So CP keep up the good work but stop being so kind to the scoundrels. I know that you are a labour lefty so prefer the carrot to the stick but really it is not your responsibility to make sure that Manchester Lib Dems get their five a day. So less carrot more stick please.

Of course Will is the one that is sparing the rod. These Lib Dems are absolutely shameless and all their famous social liberalism policies - which yes can be quite popular in lefty intellectual circles - are well wrong on the estates.

Have a problem with under-age drinking? Lower the drinking age! Shortages of sputnik, skunk weed and crack stones? Re-stock the corner shop! Youth unemployment? Let 16 year olds perform porn!

Anti Social Behaviour? Oppose all measures for control! Need leaflets delivered? Give the kiddies sweets ... or tins of beer. These Lib Dem councillors are diabolical. Their beliefs and behaviour are a scandal.

* Actually a Cruddas-ite.

Gorton North's Loss is Chorlton Park's Gain

Bit late today for leafleting in Gorton North so turn home and arrange a tour of the Nell Lane Estate where I have been recently invited by admirers. But the only people I can see are a Frank Gallagher look-a-likey and some gangster guys with pick axe handles. There is a fresh grave dug in the deserted allotments which is a bit spooky. There is a floral tribute with "LOL" skillfully crafted in red roses. And the junkies scatter from the old railway like the streets clearing in a western B movie. So I'll have to go back to canvass another day.

God's Own YouTubers: God Tube and Islam Tube

Dizzy points out Godtube and Islamtube. Dizzy suggests that the latter includes some rather dangerous material. Which is true.

So does the former:

Oh Rapture! Good to know that guys like this have GW Bush's ear and were consulted before the high level bombing, invasion and occupation of Iraq.

TORY MUPPETRY on the Economy

Tory economic naif Iain Dale alleges that Gordon Brown has doubled my tax bill. Not true. I respond :

God you lots are muppets. For a start:

MORE PEOPLE ARE IN WORK hence more income tax.
Businesses are doing extremely well and hence CORPORATION TAX receipts are way up.
SALES TAX receipts are way up as we have more disposible income for "LUXURIES" like sanitary protection.
The land and housing markets are BOOMING and more are making great CAPITAL GAINS and buying expensive properties with STAMP DUTY on.
This aggregated figure with no analysis - not even allowing for Prague Tory's earnings point - which halves the so-called discrepancy - is
TORY MUPPETRY.

UPDATE: Iain Dale has visited and called me a muppet back. Comments.

Tories Fail New Mathematics: Sad Sums, Sets and Syllogisms

Iain Dale links to a silly Times expose of some Ministers maintaining good relations with Lobbyists HERE, DizzyThinks' predictable analysis of the story, and to a Sunday Telegraph Story about one particular supporter and to these eyes at least worthy appointee to public service at the highest levels.

Stephen Ladyman MP and Gerry Sutcliffe MP could be consulting M'Learned Friends on this as The Times piece is subtitled Ministers mired in ‘cash-for-access’ but shows absolutely no cash going to anyone - except their salaries - and being anecdotal and partial doesn't even stack up the idea of preferential access as there is no investigation into whether other lobbyists and contractors also enjoy cordial working relations.


Iain's analysis gets this comment from me. The diagram above has been photoshopped at great expense "cash-for-set-diagrams" to assist in Mr Dale's puny analysis :

What a load of nonsense Iain. Do you remember those New Mathematics your were probably taught at school? Nuffield Maths perhaps? Didn't they do something about "Sets"? Here are some sets you surely learned about earlier :

- Clever academic people who have made a contribution to the sum of human knowledge and could make a contribution to national life chairing reports, as advisors, or even as peers;

- Clever business people who have made a contribution to the wealth and happiness of themselves and perhaps if they're not scumbags to the wealth and happiness of their people and the nation ... and who could etc;

- Clever people in other walks of life - unions, local government, charities, house of commons, medicine, law, even sport ... etc;

- People who have personal wealth and political interests that lead them to support parties of all stripes and in various ways;

Someone can of course be in more than one set. While the last one alone should not be enough to get a P or a K - let's say they are a money launderer or a criminal.

But membership of one of the three sets that does qualify does not and should not disqualify citizens from becoming Ps and Ks under the existing system, even if they've got a bit of money and have given some to a political party.

Your whole case is illogical. Following it through (other than in stopping all honours and scrapping the Lords) is not in the national interest.

In a 100% elected system I would also not want to disqualify people who had lent or given money to pollies, even to your party!

So long as that isn't how they get elected e.g. by being in a place on a party's list that they don't deserve on merit which is one reason (along with the MEP experience) that I don't much like lists.