Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Auto Cue Geddon: Idea Whose Time Has Passed?



Iain Dale asks whether the day of the autocue is passed. And he wants speaking tips. So here goes ...

Seven Habits of Successful Speech Makers

First
, write an hour-long speech which is mostly style and with little substance, with that being the sort of old time dog whistles that your audience love.

Second, re-work and re-work and re-work it and learn it verbatim until you have it off pat.

Third, spin only that you are going to speak WITHOUT NOTES. There is no content in the speech anyway, so, yes, spin that it'll be delivered without notes - more or less.

Fourth, make sure you point out you're not using notes at least a couple of times near the top.

Fifth, deliver speech and enjoy the media adulation that despite going into the conference hall naked you have worked your cock and bull off delivering the thing WITHOUT NOTES.

Six, carelessly leave a couple of pages of scribble in camera view and discard them on stage. NB You are a "memory man" so try to remember not to scribble these on the back of your 100% scripted text that you have just spewed out verbatim.

Seven, similarly make sure there are no copies of the whole thing lying around. Discovery of these will blow the idea that you have actually extemporised from a couple of sides of scribble. Or that "mistakes" in fact and syntax are in the heat of the moment. If you are found out on your one spinning point: "Without notes", the lack of substance will become evident.


I've seen Peter Hain making a few speeches in my time. Without notes or autocue and with. In the former cases he has never failed to make a joke about "no heckling" and self aggrandise about his armed Special Branch officers. And he usually drifts or indeed lurches off message rather easily.

While Guido continues to think he single handedly scuppered Mr Hain's deputy leadership challenge I remember a pre-emptive undermining of his prospects at the 2005 Brighton Conference.

There was his own inability to use either of the screens - of the type used to hide himself by a shy future PM in launching his campaign - without moving his whole head, neck, torso, body 45 degrees west or east like the Thunderbirds puppet he inspired (top). But beyond this the script seemed, from his delivery at least, to be alternately stalling and racing.

Lovely work from Gordon's people I thought at the time. You can have all the ostentatious armed body guards you want and still get mugged at the lectern.

Lib Dem Clayton Barbarism: Dropping Historic Cinema


Dave Ottewell's politics are clear. He doesn't want the Lib Dem councillor Mark Clayton's bessie mate to knock down the third oldest cinema in the country. It would be extraordinarily sad.

Clayton, the greyhound kicker, is intimately involved with the developer. He lists the cinema address and his "former" business relationship in his Register of Members' Interests entry. Along with dozens of addresses owned by his "former' associate, and a few - including Clayton House on Piccadilly - that he owns himself. Under challenge he admitted - to the Northenden Civic Society - that, contrary to his declaration, he works for and with the developer still.

Another Lib Dem, presumably ignorant of Clayton's involvement, has been continually complaining about the flyposting and decay. And a third Lib Dem son-of-a-gun turned a blind eye to the flyposting on this cinema for the venue he used to manage. Before that is he left - after 12 months suspension - under a cloud of financial scandal.

The local freesheet, and the regional Manchester Evening News had the story about this councillor who was simultaneously claiming credit for stopping flyposters and failing to prevent promoters at his own building from being the worst of them all. But for some reason best known to themselves they did not run the story, despite mentions in the Council chamber.

They also did not cover the man's departure from this highly paid job following long time suspension over an alleged tax fiddle. What's up with our press?

No doubt, despite all their deep personal interest and involvement the Lib Dems will try to make hay. Personally, I see no good reason to let the developer proceed with this barbarism. Let's tell Clayton's Lib Dem wreckers to GTF. The MEN should be campaigning against this proposal - even if the planners agree to desecration. Clayton's hyenas would probably just sell the site on for a huge profit if they do get planning.

It is not inevitable that an historic cinema should be dropped unceremoniously. It is Lib Dem councillor Mark Clayton's developer mate taking the piss. That's all. As he will with the Tatton Arms also. Five years from now he'll be pulling that down too. They must be stopped from this hypocritical behaviour.

Please expose him now Dave. Manchester Evening News. Run a campaign. Make him sell it for 50p or thereabouts. As a preservation project .. as he bought it.

Monday, February 11, 2008

Conservative Resistance: Those Old Habits Die Hard


Seventy Five Percent of Conservatives choosing to take part in poll on Conservativehome.com would not want Helen Grant, selected to replace Anne Widdecombe in Maidstone and the Weald; Sajjad Karim, top-listed in the NW MEP list; or Tony Lit, 3rd placed candidate for David Cameron's Conservatives in Ealing Southall to have been selected as they were.
Grant had helped Labour and only just joined, Karim had been a Lib Dem MEP but defected, Lit was seen hob nobbling with Tony Blair moments before his career move. There is a suggestion in comments that the fact that high profile Johnny-come-latelies are BME increased the animosity to fast-tracking.

David Davis Sleaze Allegations: GuF Brings Home Bacon



Paul Staines aka hammy blogger Guido Fawkes aka Mr GuF has invented a piggy index for politicians. Trouble is he immediately applies it in a wholly biased way - giving peers a fulsome three little piggies for maxxing their expenses, with the story he links to appearing to say these were legitimate claims, while giving David Davis a mere one little piggy for a £20,000 leadership donation laundered by two of his litter of cronies, plus a similar sum through his own and, er, Derek Conway's declarations. Or was it the same money tumbling through the laundry?

Once again it is a case of well done to the boy Mann! As it goes the Independent on Sunday's investigation points out more than Guido lets on. That Davis and indeed our old friend the disgraced Del Boy Conway made parallel/repeat declarations to those of the jobsworth cronies.

All good clean fun from David Davis. The man who made [insert]many complaints against Peter Hain, though it was his near namesake the nonentity David Davies who made the [/insert] formal complaints about Peter Hain. And who But Davis has perhaps spat out the most holier than thou sound bites on such matters.

These donations via MPs Mitchell, Herbert and Conway were of course part of the "defeat from the jaws of victory" campaign coordinated by Tory Boy Blogger Iain Dale and supported by GuF himself. Mr Dale is very fond of reminiscing about how very prim and proper that campaign was. With every last thing declared properly. Obviously not! To turn Mr Davis' own rhetoric on himself: Davis appears to make a liar out of poor Dale.

FOOTNOTE: For some strange reason Staines/Fawkes/GuF includes an attack on the broadcaster Jeremy Paxman within his round up of alleged politician excess. Now why would that be? Has GuF got some kind of a problem with Newsnight or something?

UNDERFOOT NOTE: Well worth dragging up all the Basher Davis references in Guido's archive at this point. 114 - count 'em. Including Davis' memorable rebuke that Cameron: "Couldn't run a bath". Ho ho ho. Oink oink oink.

Saturday, February 09, 2008

Guido Fawkes: Continuously Unprofessional Scoundrel


GuF has thankfully not blogged the Sharia-phobia thing like Iain and the others. Instead he continues to claim the concept of "snouts in the trough" for himself.

His bar chart - allegedly comparing food costs in different circumstances - is to his usual poor standard. Every one of the bars is calculated on a different basis. The lowest - the school kids one - is ingredients only cost. Most of the others are some combination of ingredients plus labour costs plus overheads. The MP's one - unlike all the others - is a per diem. The cost of buying a free choice of meal(s) and drinks from capitalists in one of the most expensive areas of one of the most expensive cities in the world.

Which is not to say MP exes should not be scrutinised. But £20 is not an untypical per diem for London. In fact 15 years ago we used to give musicians and artistes around £15 pd in London. With the blessing of the tax man.

Comparing unlike with unlike like this is just ridiculous GuF. You know that. You are not dim. So stop making a meal of things.

Thursday, February 07, 2008

Archbishop: Who Will Rid Us of This ID-iotic Blogger?


Don't think Iain Dale is wilfully misunderstanding or misrepresenting the Archbishop of Canterbury as are some of his readers, and other commentators. But Iain is completely and utterly wrong.

The status of "Sharia Law" in this context is about the same as going to a Parish Priest or a Rabbi or a secular mediating body like Relate to sort out your relationship.

Binding if both parties agree before, during and afterward.

Meaningless and utterly trumped by the law of the land if they do not.

Less binding than Judge Judy. Such interpretation and guidance is already in widespread practice . . .

In mosques, in churches, in synagogues and in counselling and mediation offices.

EXCLUSIVE: Spring Chicken Plus Over Ready Turkey?



McCain's now the shoo-in oven ready turkey for the Republicans. But who should be his running mate? Iain Dale wonders aloud about McCain's 96-year-old mum (joke) but doesn't seem to have a clue where Magoo needs to look. Not Romney, not Huckerbee, not Quayle.

There was a good interview with Republican and Democratic pundits on BBC last night. The former suggesting McCain will do well to sign up a young charismatic running mate to counter any Obama effect and/or milk the new young enthusiasm for politics. The latter - a Clinton adviser - expected his woman to win through clearly on the super delegates if nothing else.

[Speculation]Here's a thought. Would a young-ish charismatic-ish black woman be just the ticket to counter either Clinton or Obama or both? Wonder what Condi has planned for the fall? Remember, you read it here first.[/Speculation]

Computer Age: Police Still Lose Paper Records Shock


You wait for a data loss story for weeks, and five come along at once. David Ottewell makes an anti-computerised data scoop today out of four cases of carelessness over paper records and just one of digital data loss. In each case the lost or mislaid data was recovered, no harm done.

It's a good set of stories. Though I'm not sure Tory hyperventilation on iD cards or breathless comparison with 25M records on CD-ROMs is balanced and proportionate. These are very much old school data losses of the kind that Life on Mars might have experienced almost daily.

The famous five: Crime Data 1 - Crime Data 2 - Crime Data 3 - Insurance Data -
Lib Dem Council Data. Only the last - an unencrypted data stick, reaching a Tory councillor by uncertain means - is digital.

iD Cards? I'm agin 'em. But sorry, these aren't a compelling case against them.

Wednesday, February 06, 2008

Bashing the Bishop: Murder in Cathedral Controversy


Great spot from Dave Ottewell on his MEN blog.

Boris Pasty Knack: Following Pasternak's Internal Exile?


Gilligan is everywhere. But, asks Tom Watson MP, where is Boris? Banished to Henley with his seditious twittery, for the common good of Eton Buller Man?

Andrew Gilligan: Boris's Little Helper With More Smears


Hilariously Andrew Gilligan, who is a major Boris cheer leader and Ken detractor, has variously had Johnson for an Editor or Proprietor but is slagging off various journalists and organisations for supporting Ken and not supporting Boris. And they've allegedly had work off Ken. Ha ha ha. There will no longer have to be much casting around for examples of psychological projection or humbuggery now will there? Gilligan is Silly-Man.

Meanwhile the GLA Labour Group has a new web look designed and built by Labour blogger Jon Worth. Rather than the clutz who did Guido's. Strange that.

John Leech Nailed, Again: More Good News for Christie


Amanda Crook of the Manchester Evening News has great news today. Cllr John Leech claimed, without a single shred of evidence or any factual basis, that The Christie Hospital was threatened with closure, forming a key part of his 2005 campaign. It is to expand in a £35M development.

Leech's spurious campaign even involved distribution of Hoax Closure leaflets to vulnerable chemo- and radio- therapy patients, most of whom were not voters in the constituency. Even though he was told he was wrong in no uncertain terms, before a single of his leaflets were printed, he pushed on regardless. He continually relies on "50 Doctors" or "60 Doctors" having signed a petition. But amazingly the document was (a) not a petition, (b) did not claim a closure threat, and (c) was not signed by anyone. Isn't the Freedom of Information Act a wonderful thing?

Since Leech's spurious campaign there has been announcement after announcement of good news and positivity for Christie.

The fashion among Leech's cronies and supporters has been to say that a campaign on which Leech led two glossy leaflets was nothing. Irrelevant to the result. The facts contradict this claim. In a recent letter to the South Manchester Reporter the author Cath Stanicliffe claimed that she knew instantly that the Christie claim was "twaddle". Many others were not so astute. And what's more Mr Leech won't own up to this obvious twaddle of his.

Without a shred of shame or an ounce of apology Leech has grabbed onto the shirt tails of every announcement and still claims to this day that he was right to launch the campaign. Even though it was based on a complete fiction. He will no doubt try to spin this latest major investment as the result of his good works.

LOL cannot get corrobation for a tip off from Lib Dem insiders that Leech has been trying to get his hands on a Health portfolio. This is to continue with his diversionary cover-up for a shameless hospital hoax. Sadly, though he makes an impression - busy-doing-nothing - Leech's busy-ness is mostly party political campaigning rather than of any value whatsoever to his constituents. I hope I'm never one of them.

Manchester Super Casino: It's Official "Rien Ne Va Plus"


Breaking news from BBC Online. No great surprise there. The $300M question being what on earth are Brown and Blears going to come up with by way of alternative regeneration for East Manchester with two to three thousand direct and accessible jobs with the creators of the jobs PAYING, via section 106 and other routes, for the privilege.

Lib Dem group leader "Simple" Simon Ashley who is hanging on by the skin of his teeth despite desperate debacle after desperate debacle will continue to pretend he was backing the thing.

He did not fulfil his promise to deliver the votes of the Lib Dem party in Westminster and couldn't even sway his old buddy Rev Cllr John "Fire and Brimstone" Leech MP.

Leech is perhaps best known outside Chorlton Park for his prowess in various modern languages. Conversational Exaggeration, strong reading and writing of Welsh, fluent Fibbery, and native Hoax.

Mr Ashley is among a number of Lib Dem councillors who have taken the Leech shilling in a high staff turnover milieu since 2005. No incompetent relatives, just incompetent cronies. Though looking at the town hall Register of Members Interests you wouldn't see it all that laid out in plain view.

Tuesday, February 05, 2008

Housey Housey: Another Game of Family Fortunes


Mr Dale is getting quite a bit of stick for sticking up for the Winterton's tax avoidance and "Family Fortunes" game.

The Wintertons do not have to push the envelope like this whatever their advisers may say. As well as being in the lowest quartile (even decile) on exes claimed they are in the lowest quartile on attendance etc.

The word up here in the NW is that they mostly stay in Cheshire kissing babies and opening supermarkets and making ill-advised jokes about cockle pickers at rugby dinners. Not to mention presenting prizes at races and fun runs. Which is where Tarus (10k Champ) and myself and dogs (5k Champs) met old Sir Nick in summer 2006.

Quite a good way to meet and greet "enemy" MPs as it goes. Also bagged Ken Clarke that way.

UPDATE: Swear blogger Devil's Kitchen would string them up. (PG)

The Wilson Doctrine: What Is The Scope of It?


With that snide friend of Con-way David Davis accusing the Prime Minister of lying we really could do with a definition of "The Wilson Doctrine" as opposed to "The Wilson Protocol". The Times had a go - before Davis started his slanders - and decided that bugging the meeting(s) concerned did not break the doctrine.

Labour Party: Barrister Volunteers for Money Job


Jack Dromey is a good fella. But I welcome a grassroots challenge for the job of Labour Party Treasurer from Barrister Mark McDonald. Although Mr Dromey could almost certainly marshal the votes to hold on he might see an opportunity to make a sharp exit. To Wolverhampton or wherever. He is probably planning that anyway. Depends whether the brothers and sisters want to hold on to the role.

Bad Form: Cllr John Leech MP Pontificates


There is a local interest angle on this expenses sleaze. Manchester Withington residents will have been ever so pleased to see Cllr John Leech MP on regional TV as the Con-way row broke pontificating, as only a Minister's son or a Pope could, and confirming his own high standards on expenses and the like.

Some might argue that by helping himself to three years of Councillor allowances, almost £50,000, less tax at 40% presumably - rather like Derek Conway who took four years' worth out of Gateshead I believe while representing a Midlands seat - and using his 2006 and 2007 Parliamentary Reports to play politics ... he was not qualified to cast the first stone on probity.

And that making his inaccessible office into a Lib Dem hoarding, and employing political hacks, and printing political leaflets in the back room, and taking paid adverts in those political leaflets, and refusing to be civil to anyone involved with any other party wanting advice, information or support were not the behaviours of the pure as the driven snow.

Then there's the less clear-cut matter of refusing to pay back campaign support that was allegedly supposed to be loans, and his over-spending so transparently in the 2005 campaign, and all that ... once again the biblical instance is apt. Why cast the first stone on probity and risk being hoist by his own petard?

Bad Form: Cameron is Dithery, Weak and Late


Iain Dale claims that Dave has seized the transparency agenda. But from my point of view DC's response to the scandalous "Family Fortunes" played by Del Boy Con-way is (a) dithery; (b) weak; and (c) late.

Why dithery? Well, following his dither on Con-way's carpeting from the Con-servatives, he announced reports from front benchers starting 1 April 2008. In other words the end of Q1 of the current year. In effect he's been got at allowed that to slip slide along to the end of Q2. Pathetic! As Dale himself might harrumph.

Why weak? Well, apart from Cameron's collapse over when it starts it's front bench only and so would not have caught Conway at it. It also would not have spotted the thoroughly legal but highly immoral wheeze of the Winterton's in renting a flat they kind of own off a Trust in favour of their children. In other words giving their children tax payers' money.

Why late? Well, we've touched on the six month delay to the first reports under this scheme, and on the dither. But Cam's interview indicated the Con-servative world view when it comes to expenses. That is that as Tory MPs think their wages are so very low - and they may have a point, but that's the deal they contracted to - they simply help themselves to whatever they choose to squeeze out of a rather liberal and rather flakey expenses system.

He should have dealt with that surely as soon as he had this Damascus moment? Or even perhaps when in May 2007 the conduct of Derek Conway MP was first reported by the Times and to the Standards Commissioner.

Guido: Cons 13 Times More Fraud than UB40s


Utter Guff from Guido. But using his sums Tory MPs are just over 13 times more likely to be cautioned or prosecuted for expenses fraud than benefits claimants.

Davis and Dale: Delboy's Old Mates Run Cover


When he's not reviewing fancy fish and chip shops Iain Dale is clucking manfully about terrorist-tap-gate.

Not only did these officials (and/or senior police officers) not tell a minister when they discovered an MP was being tapped - collaterally presumably - but they did tell an opposition mimicster instead.

That helpful soul says he sent a warning - by way of a riddle - six weeks ago to No 10. We're told it didn't arrive. Was it even sent? By what means? Does David Davis not have access to a 'phone and a 'phone number for the government?

Apart from anything else Davis is providing covering fire for the Con-party and Con-way over his profligate game of Family Fortunes.

Monday, February 04, 2008

Facebook Group: Eats, Shoots and Leaves



Wonder if there have been any mistaken joiners to this group? Even the full group intro, never mind the title, could appeal to both "sides".

George Osborne: Condemns Grasping Prole Conway


Good to see the rakish young blade, wallpaper heir, mendacious shadow minister, Buller Boy and Tatton toff Sir George Osborne apologising for Tory sleaze.

Conway's trade, don't you know? A grasping prole.

Wifey wouldn't work for me says GOO. Oh no. Ha ha ha. Couldn't afford her!

Kids too young. Not to mention completely and utterly feral. Blah de blah.

Pretty rich isn't it when donations of almost £500,000 are received by Osborne indirectly in a single year. And from parties very interested in his future policy decisions.
But were not linked to GOO either at the Electoral Commission or in the Register of Members Interests? Conway should get together with some other ruffians and scrag the weaselly toff.

The Polls, The Polls: Ringing the Changes


It has been amusing to watch Iain Dale's coverage of Opinion Polls since he swore himself off covering every one of them. Last June that was. He broke his promise after just fourteen hours. Hey ho. "Pie crust promises", as Ms Mary Poppins might have it, "Easily made, easily broken".

Iain is off somewhere in the developing world. In a failed state where gun deaths are such a commonplace that having them running 50% above the current violence death toll in Kenya does not merit any comment. But it's a shame he isn't covering the latest Ipsos MORI poll. That was carried out around ten days ago now. Giving Labour a 1% lead from 2,000 face to face interviews. NB Fieldwork before the curtain opened on the pantomime of Derek Conway's embezzlement.

Strangely, with fieldwork after the quantum of Conway shameless thievery began to become apparent, with Dave dithering like a two-headed donkey (tm GuF) the Tory ICM numbers improved to a 5% lead.

Mike Smithson at Political Betting suggests that the polled respondents are so fickle and shallow that if Dave's on the telly - good or bad, even dithering pathetically on the great Delboy robbery - his score goes up.

Sunday, February 03, 2008

Rochdale Lib Dem Meltdown: Like Porn Occifer?


Former Manchester councillor and latterly Rochdale and Sedgefield spin doctor David Hennigan apparently no longer works for Rochdale's Lib Dem Group. Probably getting difficult as the cracks began to appear in his other boss's relationship with that particular Rochdale Brains Trust.

The word on the streets is that Hennigan was all set to resign from Paul Rowen MP's employ also. There was a job offer. But sadly cut off in its prime.

Dave will be glad he doesn't have to spin his way out of this one. In fact it looks like they'll forget the spin cycle and hang the councillor concerned out to dry. Him being on the standards committee and all.

UPDATE: Thanks to comments stating that Mr Hennigan is back with the Lib Dem group as well as working for Paul Rowen MP. And that Cllr Elwyn Watkins the PPC for Oldham East and Saddleworth is on record sticking up for the allegedly drunken allegedly porno councillor.

Desperate Tories: Trying to Bury Conway News?


At last a story from a Tory about goings on in a prison cell near you. But alas not from Iain Dale's bessie Derek Conway who is going out of way to state that he doesn't think he "ripped anyone off" by passing loads of money to relatives and their mates while getting no work back.

Instead Iain Dale has his M & S XXLs in a twist over the bugging of Shafiq Khan MP. This occurred allegedly during a routine prison visit to a constituent who happens to be a USA target for extradition to face terror charges.

Confident Mr Dale claims there can only be four explanations and asks "which is it?" Mathematics and logic are not his best subjects however. Before any comments were published I came up with:

5. It was not authorised by the head of MI5 OR by a politician
6. The bugging was not carried out by a UK agency
7. It did not happen

Other comments have added still more possibilities. Including the fact that the bugging of the alleged other gentleman on the tape was authorised but the possibility of a prison visit from an MP was not factored in or not excluded.

What I have learnt from Iain Dale today: When you state that there are only X possibilities you'd better be very sure about that.

The story goes that David Davis somehow found out about this - he was keen to point out this was NOT from the horses mouth - and that he sent a warning letter to Number 10.

I'll need to check the letter text - but isn't it the case that Tories were spinning a letter which said something quite specific, that the letter Davis released was actually quite generic, and that Number 10 said they hadn't had a letter saying the specific thing?

UPDATE: The letter did not specify that a Labour MP was involved. Given the source that was not the first thing anyone who received such a letter would think of. Why would David Davis "send" a riddle to Gordon Brown? Because he's a complete "Mulholland" perhaps? Another mate of Conway. Text: Telegraph.

If a letter was this important one would want proof of posting or other dispatch and some form of a receipt for safe passage. Wouldn't you? Presumably Davis has that? Or did he follow the Duncan Borrowman example and use a second class stamp from a local post box?

Saturday, February 02, 2008

Right Wing Rags: Recycled Rubbish Over and Over Again


What complete and utter rubbish! Originally from the Telegraph, now landfilled on an FT-blog.

Horse Play: "Beware of ..." Signs on the Way Out?


Yesterday we took our dogs on a bracing walk in the Peak, along the Roaches. Snow, hail, wind, mud, wetness and towards the end of the six miles just a little winter sun. All the dogs, born to hunt, ran around "off piste" and picked up some gritty grazes.

But Jim excelled himself getting a gash to the bone from an arsey horse.

Usefully at the exit end to the field in question - crossed by a public footpath - there was an exhortation to keep dogs on leads and not to feed the horses. Clearly the former to save the dogs from vicious equines. Two tiny hairy ponies and a big black horse looked on sympathetically as the chestnut mare did her nowty thing.

Jim had to have a general anaesthetic and some serious stitches. We may also have to start saving up to have a troublesome "knocked up" toe removed.

The old "Beware of" sign spied on the way out of a field is a regular feature of country walking. Fortunately, where they say "Bull", they are not always accurate.

Friday, February 01, 2008

Guido Fawkes: Libertarian Anarcho GuF Blogger Bully


The libertarian right wing blogger Paul Staines aka Guido Fawkes aka Mr GuF is threatening fellow blogger Tim Ireland/Bloggerheads with legals. Over the apparently completely and utterly true observation that GuF is unprofessional in one of various obvious ways.

Yes Tim, GuF steals images and stories. Yes, he runs stories that are plain idiotic. Yes, he runs stories that are simply not true. Yes, he runs ropey stories that he changes repeatedly by way of U-Turns but without annotation. Yes, he either does not understand or ignores the law of defamation. But yes, he threatens bloggers with court action at a drop of his flaccid hat.

Ironically GuF is attacking one of the heroes of the resistance to Schillings and Alisher Creosotemanov. GuF is behaving like the kleptocrats and liberty-attackers he says he despises.

GuF spent a week or so threatening me with legals back in 2007. The stuff he demanded was removed is still up and never came down. GuF's all mouth and no trousers. Please back Tim on this one with a story and link on your blog.

Derek Conway: Must Go Now, Cannot Get Away With It


How can we as taxpayers and citizens stop the MP dubbed an embezzler - for obvious reasons - by Frank Field MP getting a maximum "resettlement" pay out when he gives up being an MP and being able to start taking a generous index-linked pension to boot.

The disgraced Old Bexley and Sidcup MP Derek Conway has had 20 years, in two stints, taking the piss in the Houses of Parliament. This moves him into pension heaven. Is there any way we can avoid this?

Ideally he and any co-conspirators: Wifey, Freddy, Henry, Henry's boyf; should GO TO JAIL.

If possible all pension bets should be off completely. As a chronic embezzler Conway MUST be penalized a tad more than ten day's suspension and withdrawal of the whip. More too than Jail.

The man is around 55. He could be trousering a huge pension from the British taxpayer he has cheated for decades. His family have ALREADY HAD THE PENSION out of the system. How about this for starters:

Immediately sack him as an MP;
Immediately demand a refund of the £80,000 ish paid to his sons, any money to their partners, and if overpaid or underworked the lion's share of the wife's salary etc too;
Take this off his salary and on costs retrospectively;
Taking him back at least a year;
So he's before the 20-year pension heaven.

That'd be something. Letting him continue as an MP is ridiculous. Letting him pick up maximum resettlement and pensions plus his wife's pension is also ridiculous. The pair of them have conspired to rip us all offer. The Conway Family must not prosper from this.

Let's make it Time and the Conways in an uncomfortable prison. Followed by disgrace and all bets off on pensions and benefits.

Guido Fawkes: The Bookies' Friend Naps Leslie to Fail


Mr GuF is advising his record number of muppets and readers to vote against one Mr Leslie being on the ballot paper when East Hull Labour Party select a candidate to take over the seat from John Prescott.

GuF might just be right when it comes to David Prescott, Prezza's son, but on Leslie he is way off the money. Full analysis soon. But Leslie will certainly be on the slip. And even now Prezza Jnr could make it.

Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Con-way Parallels: More Like Old School Tory Felony


Iain Dale covers the announcement by his bessie mate Derek Conway MP that he will not be contesting the next election. We can only hope that he'll still be in jail then and there will be a by-election before too long in Bexley Heath and Sidcup.

In justifying his decision not to "diss on" (sic) his friend Iain suggests that none of Wendy Alexander or Peter Hain's friends were calling for them to resign. But I'd say that at least some of their blogging friends were covering the case.

There is absolutely no equivalence whatsoever between Derek Conway's behaviour - carrying echoes of old school Tory feloniousness, you know Archer, Aitken, Hamiltons - and the cases of Wendy Alexander or as far as we know Peter Hain.

Wendy Alexander and her team did not pick up that a donor of £950 was not permissible. Even when it came to sending a thank you form letter.

In fact as we all know Cameron's own constituency did the same to the tune of 700% of the value.

Unfortunate, but hardly the same as directing £50,000 to one son and who knows what to his elder brother and not being able to account for a stroke of work done in return.

Peter Hain has a strange but as far as we know legal company vehicle for some donations and loans and he was a few months late declaring a six figure total of 17 plus donations. But in fact he was around four times quicker than George Osborne in getting things registered.

Whatever CCHQ may say there are almost £500,000 of donations to George Osborne's activities that haven't been reported by GOO to either EC or RMI.

The fact that CCHQ have reported them to the EC simply is not good enough. It doesn't do the job of showing transparently just which Hedgies and Toffs are backing GOO's bid to be Chancellor of the Exchequer. The electorate and the media should be able to see these links clearly on EC and HoP websites.

And that celebrated but laughable email from the commissioner does not get anyone off the hook in the slightest.

There is an assumption in the commissioner's answer that the money is already declared to the RMI. The question answered is whether it needs to be reported to the EC as well. Not the other way round. No sign the Tory Whip's Office enquiry was even linked to GOO's iffy situation.

Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Worst Council Finances: LibDem Liverpool, Con Southend


Number twelve in the Daley dozen is a Lib Dem Voice whine about the unfairness of the appallingly mis-run-by-Libdems city of Liverpool being designated appallingly mis-run-by-Libdems. It absolutely is appallingly run. With the Storey/Bradley conspiracies and cock ups flowing in equal measure as they muller one of our great cities.

A subject we may return to. But neither Mr Dale nor LDV seems to have paid attention to the actual Guardian report.

Southend and the Scilly Islands are in fact in the same bag. The former being officially Tory, with no eons ago Militant Tendancy to excuse themselves, and the latter being unofficially conservative, with a Lib Dem MP and more likely a Military tendancy than anything Trotty.

IT'S OFFICIAL: All three could provide services for £100 lower Council Tax.

Guido Fawkes: As Illogical as Two-Headed Don-Quixote



There are times when it must be said that the right wing Libertarian blogger Paul Staines aka Guido Fawkes aka Mr GuF appears to have completely taken leave of his senses. Today is one of them:

Did Dave dither? He says he slept on it and thought better, well he may have thought better not to lose votes, better not to annoy the activists, better to upset David Davis than Guido and Tim Montgomerie - who knows?
The important thing is, he has now dealt with the sleaze issue decisively. What is Gordon going to do? After the Abrahams scandal broke Gordon demanded the resignation of Peter Watt. He told the monthly press conference immediately afterwards that undeclared donations were unlawful and unacceptable and that was why Watt had to go.
Since then we have had Hain - he went - but we still have Harman, Johnson and Wendy. Why haven't they gone? They broke the law. Why are they still lawmakers and ministers of the crown?

So, a Tory MP who is bang to rights slushing the best part of £50,000 to his unqualified son Freddie, at an unfeasibly high remuneration rate, and with no visible return for the tax payer? Cameron stuck up for him but then threw a U-ey and, oo-er, set him free from the Tory whip? And so Brown should sanction H Harman, A Johnson and W Alexander who have respectively :
- Unknowingly taken, and incidentally declared, a donation via a secret agent, with both original donor and intermediary permissible donors;
- Received, carefully checked and declared everything rather well;
- Received £950 from an impermissible donor, which is roughly 14% of the amount David Cameron's Witney Tories trousered from similar sources.

What a crock GuF! Conway is so obviously far more culpable. The cases do not bear comparison. Are you blogging drunk after your liquid lunch you soak? Do you have no sense of proportion whatsoever?

Let's hope Conway goes to jail along with his co-conspirators. And let's hope GuF develops some kind of sense of proportion. This is just braying GuF. And Dave DID "dither like a donkey" as GuF coined in his stumbling Newsnight reprise. Which we'll give him as a possible first use. Unlike his attempt to pilfer the old as the hills: "Snouts in the trough".

Image of Don Guido Quixote on his dithering two headed donkey courtesy of Economist USA.

Mr GuF: Leads Lynch Mob, and Fantasy of Idiom Making


Fair play. GuF is leading the lynch mobs after Conway's neck ... but we have a feeling his claim to ownership of the expression "Snouts in the Trough" is even more ridiculous than some of his other recent vanities.

Iain Dale: Feels a Cameron Mini-Shuffle Coming On


Iain Dale wonders out loud if there's a Cameron mini-shuffle going on. Clearly he knows all about* his good friend Derek Conway as they worked together on the catastrophic David Davis campaign. But he doesn't seem to know about the DWP Shadow Mimicster and solicitor and barrister Nigel Waterson MP who spent 13 hours in police custody on Sunday/Monday over child battering allegations. His own teenagers as it goes. Telegraph stress - this was not a sexual attack. Waterson was described on BBC News 24 as a "close friend" of Dave Cameron.

Here he is on child protection (with respect to Section 28 in 2003):

The onus should be on the Government to come up with an alternative method of protecting our children, rather than that being left to the official Opposition?

An alternative method of protecting Mr Waterson's children is indeed needed urgently as he is on police bail until March. The Telegraph report states that the violent abuse is not a one-off but part of a pattern.

* Actually I'm not sure even Iain knew about the shady double life.

Tory Embezzler: Urgent Letter's in the Post, 2nd Class



While John Mann MP twists the knife in Tory embezzler Derek Conway's chest by asking the Commissioner to probe elder son Henry as well as young Freddy, the Lib Dem PPC for Bexley Heath and Sidcup and gratuitous Shilpa Shetty blogger Duncan Borrowman says he's sent a letter to the Met Police asking them to investigate what looks like Criminal Fraud and prosecute as necessary:

Dear Commander Mawer,
I write to you concerning the verdict of the House of Commons Standards and Privileges Committee regarding the activities of my local Member of Parliament, Derek Conway MP.
I note that the Committee has stated that Mr Conway's son Frederick (FC) was:
"unlikely to be able to meet his contractual commitments"
and
"no records appear to exist of either actual work that FC did for his father, or the work he was required to undertake…no-one outside of the Conway family was aware of the work."
further, they state:
"We note that FC seems to have been all but invisible during the period of his employment,"
and
"This arrangement was, at the least, an improper use of Parliamentary allowances: at worst it was a serious diversion of public funds. Our view is that the reality may well be somewhere between the two."
From the statements given by the committee it is clear that there is primae facie evidence that criminal fraud may have taken place, and I ask that you investigate the activities of Mr Conway in this context.
I should declare that I am Mr Conway's Liberal Democrat opponent at the next General Election, but believe this issue is important enough, especially in the present climate, to warrant police investigation.
Yours sincerely
Duncan Borrowman

LOL remember watching Chris Huhne on the Daily Politics claiming he'd sent a letter to Durham Police about planning corruption - strangely in an area where Development Control is in the hands of his own party - but looked a bit sheepish when Andrew Neill reported that the letter hadn't yet reached the police. "Was in the process of writing" perhaps? "Was minded to write a letter soon"?

The same has happened again. The police still haven't got Borrowman's sent letter, reproduced on his website yesterday afternoon. The reason? Apparently the unstoppable Lib Dem loveanti-corruption machine applied a second class stamp to the envelope.

Let's hope that when the missive does reach its destination it will be more effective than Huhne's very silly cry-babery and police time wastage.

BREAKING NEWS: Dithering Cameron has done a U-turn and withdrawn the whip from Derek Conway.

Monday, January 28, 2008

More on Con-Way: Con-servative, Con-Man, Convict?


Seems to me Tory MP and ex-Minister, ex-Whip Derek Conway was lucky to get away with his moonlighting but should be getting jail, a full refund plus interest, a humungous fine, loss of his seat through the jail sentence, and eternal shame.

Instead he is getting ten days gardening leave and getting let off more than two-thirds of what he has stolen. Unity expounds his sins, hat tip Bob Piper, and GuF is calling for Conway's head just as he did with Osborne's money laundering.

Stealing £45,000 or so is obviously far worse than late reporting of a donation or 17. Conway is the one who should face a police enquiry. Will GuF admit that?

Buller Dave: Greenwash Shown Up By Observer Food


Clearly a huge joke putting David Cameron in any eco top-40. Every eco-stunt he pulls gets found out in no time. Crappy wind turbine. Huge car or some say cars behind his bike. Jet to take huskies and DC to hug a glacier. Jetting everywhere else, paid for by Carbon-chomping zillionaires. Ha ha ha. 100% greenwash.

Congratulations to Polly Vernon for showing him up as completely and utterly unsuitable for the Observer's trick accolade.

Back Room: Mix of Incompetence and Suicide Attacks?


Westmonster suggests the price of a second hand Ford Fiesta is not worth getting hung about. Back room muppetry being largely to blame for any real mistakes.

My view of the muppets in the back room is that there are at least two types:

1. Incompetent, accidental muppets, probably evenly spaced through a parliament and
2. Competent, suicide muppets, clustered to order

Iain Dale gets a hat tip.

Derek Conway: Moonlighting Cop-MP Collared



Juggling two careers is never easy and it is no wonder that something gave in Derek Conway's busy schedule as he tried to juggle his fictional life at Sun Hill police station with his job as a Conservative parliamentarian and Whip where his plot lines had stretched to the dramatic ousting of a lame duck Tory leader, known rather quietly by initials only.

The poor chap had to endure four years out of the drama of the house 1997-2001 but giving up his television work - terminally written out in a bomb blast (2002) - Derek Conway regained a few stone and a seat in 2005.

Here's what Tory HQ say about him, glossing over his thespian activities:

Derek Conway was elected MP for Old Bexley and Sidcup in 2001. Previously, he was MP for Shrewsbury and Atcham for 14 years, up to 1997.
He contested his first Parliamentary seat in 1974 and was subsequently a councillor on Gateshead Borough Council and Tyne & Wear County Council. He was active in the TA and has worked for a number of charities, including Action Research for the Crippled Child and the Cat Protection League.
He was Parliamentary Private Secretary to the Minister of State for Wales from 1988-91 and to Minister of State for Employment from 1992-93. He was subsequently Assistant government whip from 1993-94 and Government whip from 1993-97.

Born in Newcastle, he is married with 2 sons and 1 daughter.
Contact Derek
Email: conwayd@parliament.uk
Telephone: 020 8308 0398
Postal Address: House of Commons, London, SW1A 0AA.

Cat Protection League is a really nice touch Derek.

Son Freddie was lucky enough to get a student scholarship from Slush Unlimited of more than £1,000 a month - on the tax payer - although we're now hearing that he did not get his homework finished.

Mr Conway said: "It is great to get a chance to play parts on both sides of the law. As a law keeper and a parliamentary law breaker. To be honest for just the once in my life I was bang to rights nicking £45,000 from the till at work. Ten days' gardening leave looks very much like a let off.

"I was lucky the Commissioner was a great fan of my fictional character and has so kindly supported my creative writing on the old expenses front. It could have been 18 months in an open prison, nicking £45,000?, I'll say."

Boris Johnson: Capital Plaything for Pootlers?


Lib Dem Voice has a kind of wishy washy competition to decide what on earth Boris Johnson was on about in one of his columns:

I have an infallible solution. You go to XXXXXXXX. To be exact, you go to those deceptively simple whirly teacup things, and you subject the human body to the most extraordinary stresses and shears. Your teacup rotates in one direction. The teatray spins the other way.

Potential participants should be honour-bound not to google their way to the route one answer.

But there is something more to this. In the Telegraph column from which the quote is lifted Boris (right) mentions a commercial brand and its derivatives, with which he is already rather strongly linked, rather more than 20 times. Until it rather hurts. The owner of the major derivative also has at least part of Sea Life in County Hall, and the London Eye outside, and Tussauds, and all kinds of other UK and worldwide visitor and entertainment businesses.

As Buzzle suggests "You're just not sure if he’s on medication or the result of an alien abduction gone wrong."

But there is another possibility in this case. The ultimate owners - those rather nice Goldolphin stables chaps from Dubai I believe - also own great swathes of London real estate.

They may just be planning a little campaign donation? And the Buller Buffoon - already in sctuck of course for accepting inappropriate donations from disputing developers and failing to declare appropriate donations fully - may just be planning a plaything? To turn the capital into a theme park? Capital!

Appropriate Boris tribute image from Pootling, with rather too much time on their hands for their own good.

Sunday, January 27, 2008

Coffee House: Fraser Fast and Loose With Stats


Fraser Nelson at the Spectator Coffee House blog likes Nick Clegg and dislikes the United Kingdom's ranking for total percentage change in the raw ratio of government spending to GDP right here. Bit of a mouthful that isn't it? The impression being given - particularly to those wanting to recieve that - is that the United Kingdom is a terrible big spender at second of 28 countries.

A pretty disingenuous table I'd say, right. UK is around 10th in the table on absolute ratio and France and Sweden and Denmark are much higher (and happier for it with more doctors and teachers etc per head etc). Germany is much the same as the UK.

As I recall UK still have less public workers than in the last years of Mrs Thatcher. Ranking by change or even rate of change of change etc are the means for the more ignoble of statisticians or their masters to give us the impression they want without necessarily reflecting more important realities.

Part of the camouflage for this statistical naughtiness is to point at James Purnell's interpretation of employment statistics. Rather than say worklessness ones that Fraser expects.

Comment is Free: Dr Rupa Huq on Suburbia



Far and away the best of the Huq oeuvre on CiF. Well done professor.

"Suburbia" is of course associated with a very distinct Betjemany, one-foot-in-the-gravey, shaun-of-the-deady, bend-it-like-Beckhamy "universal" and not with all places that are in fact sub-urban. But it's a living language of course. The term didn't use to be used much to cover council estates for example. Now it probably does cover some. Right to buy and all. If not all of them.

But there is another way, towards which some - like Ken's friend Trevor Phillips - say we may be tending in real life, in futurist literature like The Diamond Age by Neal Stephenson. He has "burbs" which are by and large ethnically specific ghettoes or, to try to be a tad more positive, culturally homogenous gated communities.

Stephen Patrick Morrissey was dragged up initially in Hulme and neighbouring parts of Stretford, four almost five decades ago, when I'd say they URBAN rather than, as now, tending to SUBURBIA. Though Aidan O'Rourke, whose pages provide the line drawing-like view of New Hulme under construction, calls the old Hulme "a Victorian working class suburb".

Did Alf Garnett live in a suburb? Or in a District? Is Coronation Street in the Suburbs? Eastenders' Albert Square?

Yet in boho flight Morrissey looked west, all of a mile down the road to Bed Sit Land in the latterly socialist republic of Whalley Range, then Tory I think - which now of course has a defected Lib-Con, a Lib Dem, and a Socialist as councillors - and further west again and again. Via Timperley to Los Angeles or wherever it is.

Was he suburban when he lived in Hulme and Stretford back then? One mile from the City Centre? Yet drawn out not in? Was he suburban as he wandered among Whalley Range and Chorlton HMOs? (Which had been distinctly suburban in their better Vicwardian days and have returned or aspire to return to that) He was certainly located in suburbia in Timperley.

But does being located in suburbia make a person suburban? Or can people in fact remain or become cosmopolitan, urban, urbane wherever they happen to be?

Friday, January 25, 2008

Dave's Part: Tesco Express Opens in Dalston


Dave Osler has a useful post on the latest Tesco Express opening. It's in Dalston. I agree with him. Apart from the surely satirical nonsense in the last paragraph about lamb price and Kenyan mange tout? I'll be doing a post about this particular Tesco of Dave's and perhaps the putative one just round the corner from the house of love next week. Probably Monday.

Tesco are OK on Unions encouraging Usdaw sign up; they pay NMW plus, with hols, sick pay, maternity and the like; they do proper health and safety and training; they have careers; are accountable for clear marking of origin; tend to have good stock, and feature offers and loss leaders - other than on mouldering old perishables.

In Dalston they are using the Job Centre for all recruitment. Excellent. When I worked for Manchester CC - in what the current leader Richard Leese annoyingly calls the chinese period, you know when the party decided the policy - we used to like Job Centre only. This meant our own residents and less over-qualified applicants and lower advertising costs for our people.

The independent retail sector vary. Some are really excellent on unions and wages and T&C and stock and ethics and all. Some are dire on all those things.

If it were a Co-op Late Shop it would be a consumer co-op and if Waitrose in effect a worker partnership. So those would be better.

The tescopoly lot are an extraordinary coalition. And whatever they may say they are mostly driven by Tesco-hate or selfish self-interest as competing shops. They rarely bother mounting a campaign against a micro Somerfield, Co-op, Nisa or even Sainsburys. I have yet to be persuaded they have a care for the workers - in shops, as shoppers, in the supply chain.

Many corner shops dream of becoming chains and doing a Tesco, yet they think local councils are there to protect one set of capitalists from another. Not so.

Haggis EDM: Cluster Bomb Rennie Laments



So disappointing that Cllr John Leech MP, the busy-doing-nothing shyster temporarily representing Manchester Withington, has not signed this topical Early Day Motion concerning a potential bleeding dry of Scottish butchery - apparently in an offal state. Steakholders in the industry claim that modern haggis making is tripe, the wurst ever, and ask the SNP to have the guts to put the heart back into Haggis training.

Mr Leech's pal the Rabbie Burns look-alikey Willie Rennie, given the Lib Dem campaign coordinating role by Calamity Clegg, is of course the famous cluster bomb hypocrite.

Before his lucky by-election win Will-lie made his living puffing the arms industry, particularly Raytheon who make the things, crossed several constituencies to visit their factory on his election and then scarcely blushed as he made speech and motion after speech and motion calling for cluster bombs to be banned. He's got two-facedness down pat.

Happy Cluster Burns Night again Mr Rennie!

Ministry of Truth: Sparkling on Election Watchdog


Unity at Ministry of Truth suggests small p political motivation behind the decision to dob Hain in to the peelers. Little short of a "Show Trial" to demonstrate that the Electoral Commission are not in fact useless and are in fact worth their millions.

LOL have added a couple of comments on specialist subjects Cllr John Leech and Sir George Osborne.

Guido Fawkes: Full Disclosure For Lobbyists?


Guido Fawkes says nothing today about his pasty appearance on Newsnight last night. Better than his previous endeavour I would agree. But there really could not have been more headroom after that now could there? He was exposed then of course as an utter numpty.

The idea that GuF has taken Hain's scalp - even if Diane Abbott MP thinks he has - or that GuF is anything other than a gutter gossip monger, with low standards at that, is utterly preposterous.

But I am excited by a development today. Mr GuF is supporting the foundation of a kind of voluntary standards body for lobbyists. Even though GuF is a little troubled that the Lobbying Transparancy is an initiative of the left.

To counter this he recommends that it be joined by the likes of the Tax Payers' Alliance, implicated in the ridiculous DWP Press Release Hoax, which GuF also fell for, only last week. They are of course largely funded by the Conservative Party's most famous slush fund organisation - the Midlands Industrial Council on which GuF also had a false story last week.

Anyway I come for once to praise Mr GuF not to bury him. Mr GuF is a lobbyist himself in effect. Lobbying for Hedge Fundies and Libertarian Profiteers and Privateers everywhere. So wouldn't it be a great idea to see him setting an example to his fawning fans on the right? With some disclosure of his interests here first?

Let's have an return of GuF's:

Business interests in full
Including his "Tax Players Alliance"
Domicile for tax
Residence for tax
Outstanding legal matters
Entertainment accepted in detail
Voting status
And so on and so forth

Anyone who wishes to start a full and frank disclosure on Mr GuF's behalf is very welcome to use the comments here using the above section titles or otherwise.

UPDATE: Thanks to David Boothroyd for this link to a Torygraph blog displaying a "Press Release" apparently from Guido but with all the Conservative Party rubric as footer. GuF is livid. He is NOT a member of the conservatives (anymore), he is also not maintaining his dalliance with fascists, or his dalliance with the SDP. He is not a number. He is a free man.

Thursday, January 24, 2008

Bond Fantasy: Quantum of Solace for S Generale


Quantum of Solace doesn't quite hit a home run as the name of the new Bond movie. But the film does have a timely fantasy French Bond Villain. Just as Jerome Kerviel has taken Societe Generale to the cleaners as a real life French bond villain.

Most reports even BBC Television and online on this are FAILING TO NOTICE the small print of the story which involves £3.7 Billion IN A SINGLE BOND TRADE made this Saturday. Jerome Kerviel could have at it for years. Radio 5 Live had that insight more than two hours ago.

UPDATE 17:14: Have changed the BBC Bond link as the Newsround one was not working. the Olga Kurylenko and Gemma Arterton pictured right star alongside Daniel Craig.

UPDATE Fri 10:22: Information is still a bit scarce but the Saturday trading spree described by Radio Five Live may in fact have been the Bank itself closing down Jerome's positions in which £30 Billion or so were at risk. There have been suggestions that the emergency recovery of these positions was a major factor in market wobbles.

Andy Burnham MP: Gets Culture Media Sport


Burnham's strongest suit of these three would be sport I'd say. Took part alongside myself, Dr Rupa Huq and others from the floor in a Channel 4 sponsored debate on football at Labour's Brighton Conference in 2005. All about the governance of the National Game. Which was the subject of the Conference Resolution I had wanted to take.

Forced by democratic structures to take something altogether more tedious. Along the lines of "Blair Must Go, Soon-ish". Although I got to speak from the platform about the Walter Wolfgang incident and on the floor of half a dozen fringe meetings I was sadly marked out of the game on the conference floor with that particular route one offering.

How Mr Burnham will fare with the hot potato of the Arts Council, Museums and Arts Galleries and so on I don't know.

RESHUFFLE: Yvette Cooper - Chief Secretary; Caroline Flint - Housing Secretary.

Work and Pensions: James Purnell New Hotseat


James Purnell MP has been promoted to Works and Pensions Secretary. He and another young James P, that's Plaskitt, were Junior Ministers in the Department in days of yore with Purnell having the former DSS side.

Apart from continuing the fast-tracking of Purnell this moves him out of the troubled waters of the Department for Culture Media and Sports where Arts Council musical chairs with Regularly Funded Organisations have gone down like a lead balloon.

Thoughts of Charles Clark, Alan Milburn or some other rehabilitation move, gone. Promotion for a woman perhaps for Culture. BBC say Yvette Cooper, LOL suggest Beverly Hughes. Wales? Who knows really. It cannot be a full cabinet post 'solo' as the quota of posts is full. Perhaps "attending as and when".

Plaid Cymru: Are These Boyos in Glass Houses?


Thanks to blogger GW for drawing attention to this Conduct Report: PDF download or online. It concerns Plaid leader Elfyn Llwyd who has not been slow in coming forward on the Hain case, Plaid's Adam Price who was accomplice to Angus MacNeill om police time-wasting who famously likes to play with fire, and Plaid's Hywel Williams singled out for particularly taking the piss on logo size.

They were all carpeted for spending their Communications' Allowances on heavily branded and simultaeneous press advertisements costing around £20,000 and forming I think six full pages of the South Wales Guardian. Shortly before the Welsh Assembly elections.

This trio of famous freedom fighters were forced to repay the money. And their successful attempts to get approval were slammed as being disingenuous. Which could of course be a precedent for slamming George Osborne's supposed off-the-hook email and the process round that - 11 months after the fact, and with an unsuitable question - as similarly unacceptable.

Very interesting indeed that the committee in effect asked the Commissioner for Standards to look at the relationship of so-called "Parliamentary Reports" with the campaigning period. As regular readers will realise the production of such documents by Cllr John Leech MP has clearly been related to election activity in both 2006 and 2007. Just before the formal election period perhaps, but clearly campaigning using tax payers' rather than party monies.

The PDF version of the document includes a copy of each advert in English and Welsh. One of each here for your delectation. Click to enlarge.

ASIDE: It may just be a misprunt of course - with even grocers' apostrophes appearing in the BBC News 24 captions of late - but the Hain story ticker is now saying: "More than £109,000" rather than "More than £103,000".

UPDATE 16:36: There is a great wazzock name of Angus Robertson from the Scottish National Party pontificating and claiming that his own party is immune. I feel a little googling activity coming on on that particular can of worms.

Tom Watson MP: Challenges Dale to Get Kit Off


Tom Watson MP has trumped behemoth Tory Boy Blogger Iain's Dale's fatty banter by taking his kit off on his blog. Absolutely awesome.

Political betting: No Book Yet on Hain Successors


But report that a bet of 7-1 against a resignation this month had been available not so long ago.

Peter Hain: Has Resigned from Work and Pensions


Still continuing as Secretary of State for Wales while he works to clear his name. This follows the Electoral Commission handing findings to Met Police. David Davies is on News 24, doing his level best not to break into a huge grin.

UPDATE: BBC Online got the story at 12.25.

UPDATE 12:50: Contrary to earlier report looks like Hain may be resigning Welsh Secretary role too. Lembit Opik called for him to stay? Plaid Cymru say he'd be welcome back as he has done a good job.

Health: Dale, Lansley & Lamb Piss on Labour Chips



Iain Dale has chosen to make a fat joke and misrepresent one of the ten or so measures and innovations in a £372 million package to turn the tide on the very real and serious problem of obesity. Perhaps his own half stone loss of the past month - many congratulations Iain - has made him giddy and light headed? Though fellow cast members at the Maidstone pantomime (above) claim there is yet to be any real sign of malnourishment.

But that's as cheap a shot as Iain's post.

The BBC summarises the announcements and provides a platform for Messrs Lansley and Lamb to piss on Labour's chips as it were. Iain latches onto the idea of incentives for health gains, just as firmly as "bad" cholesterol latches onto our arteries, with the hilarious observation that a voucher for a successful weight watcher handed to the great unwashed so beloved of the one nation Cuddly Nu Tory will go straight down the takeaway rather than the gym.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! As yesterday's laughing policemen might have chorused.

The headline measures and ideas as reported by the BBC:
* Identify at-risk families and offer early support and advice
* Make cooking lessons compulsory for children
* Increase children's activity levels
* £75m healthy living marketing campaign aimed at parents
* Work with industry to agree a universal food labelling system and to reduce portion sizes of fatty or salty foods
* A review of junk food ad rules
* Limit fast-food outlets near schools and parks
* Incentives to encourage weight-loss
* Personalised support via the NHS Choices website and more weight management services

Let's humour Iain for a moment. Vouchers for clothes or for gyms won't in fact buy a big mac and fries.

But for clothes horses on slighter budgets than Mr Dale losing each dress size means needing to afford new clothes. And healthy food need not be but certainly can be more expensive and/or difficult to prepare than junk. It's not cash Iain.

As I understand it the amounts could be a lite bite compared to Guido Fawke's daily lunch budget. Suggested as many of the measures as for voluntary introduction rather than some kind of state diet and exercise regime. And it is surely cheaper and wiser to prevent ill health than to deal with it down the road?

Tories believe on principle in incentives rather than penalties, no? And on voluntary guidelines to the food industry rather than that big fat State throwing its weight around?

This is incentives rather than penalties but should save the tax payer money. And it's voluntary rather than compulsory. So isn't it a good thing Iain? Rather than something to crack cheap fat jokes at?

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Thick Blue Line: Baseball Cap Heist Suspects Go Quietly


In an unprecedented occurence the Metropolitan Police are agreeing entirely with the estimates of some grim faced protestors in the capital. Both groups agree that 18,500 are marching.

The organisers back up their figures with hard evidence. They have run out of baseball caps for their burly activists. 15,000 were ordered, they claim, though we have not seen the receipts.

Rumours emanating from the Met that many of marchers are "cheap slags" who have taken one cap to wear and another to wash are dismissed as "false witness".

The clandestine motto of many "cells" of well drilled protestors, linked in a loose national network, in furthering their ends by "borrowing" from other groups is we're told "Stolen With Pride".

Bob Piper: Uber Blogger Iain Dale in Poll Fraud Hypocrisy


Many thanks to Councillor Bob Piper who has revealled that Iain Dale in criticizing the Lib Dems for facing both ways on electoral fraud is guilty of the very same thing himself. Not one year ago, not one month ago, not one week ago, but this very day! Omitting to provide a link to the newspaper source or refer to the conviction on two offences of personation of the cousin of Tory councillor, but only just, Altaf Adalat:

Meanwhile, (quoth the Birmingham Post in the same article Dale quotes) a Birmingham man was found guilty of rigging votes in a Coventry Council election last week.
Iftikar Hussain, 31, the cousin of Tory councillor Altaf Adalat, denied using the identities of two other people to place fraudulent votes in the Foleshill Ward election on May 4, 2006. Councillor Adalat won the ward by six votes.
A jury at Birmingham Crown Court took just over an hour to unanimously agree that Hussain was guilty on two counts of personation.
During the trial, the jury heard that he used the identities of Abdul Khaliq and Mukhtar Hussain, who were not in the UK at the time. Hussain is due to be sentenced on February 1.

Iain Dale: Libdemologists in Poll Fraud Hypocrisy


Good to see a flurry of posts from Iain Dale late evening after an unexpected 24 hours of silence. Since he revealed his diagnosis with Type 2 Diabetes, which created a treasure house of advice, reassurance and goodwill for anyone facing such a diagnosis, any absence of activity is more noticeable. Best wishes Iain.

This morning normal service is resumed with a juxtaposition of some "holier than thou" Lib Dem Voice crowing with the realities of a Lib Dem on the ground (and in the courts) in Birmingham.

Iain is perhaps a bit quick to agree with LDV that this is a problem of Labour's making. Such shenanigans were of course a feature of British political life long before there even was a Labour Party.

And to bring things right up to date Lib Dem Chris Davies MEP tried to smear his erstwhile colleague Sajjad Karim MEP, the latest Tory MEP and very pleased to be listed as such for 2009, with allegations of underhand tactics in the LD selection.

Pretty rich given that the upsurge in LD fortunes in 2004 was largely fuelled by a communalist campaign by Davies and company, exploiting Karim to the max.

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Media Ethics: BBC Man Impersonating Gordon Brown


Disgraceful. Undermining all that is good and holy a BBC Journalist attempted to impersonate our Prime Minister with a view to personal gain.

Guido Fawkes: Lavishes Praise on Gordy For 3% LSE Win


This afternoon that chancer Paul Staines aka daft blogger Guido Fawkes aka Mr GuF gives Gordon Brown the credit for today's business at the LSE. Nice to see the super soaraway gain of 3% on the day at close of play. Praise for Gordy doesn't come that often from this direction. He will certainly treasure the accolade.

Andrew Gilligan: Is He Boris Johnson's Little Helper?



Boris Johnson's little helper Andrew Gilligan has yet another smear story in The Standard today. Under the headline Ken aide "breaks rules over election website" Gilligan shows no such thing. Do go and have a read and see how many deliberate mistakes you can spot.

As Mark Twain might have said confronted with this rather than Victorian science: "the wonderful thing about Gilligan's journalism is the huge return of conjecture one gets from such a small investment of fact".

Conjecture, innuendo, smears and in the case of the headline what is on the face of it arrant rubbish. Essentially the new facts in the piece are these:

1. Three web domains were registered all pointing to a campaign website;
2. Apparently registered by a web design company;
3. One that like dozens more has had some GLA or LDA contracts;
4. They used their own postal address;
5. But the contact name of one of Ken's advisors was given;
6. The registrations were made at 11:37 on Friday 13 July;
7. On that date at that time the advisor was working at City Hall.

Sadly, so far at least, The Standard have not published the comment I left three hours ago.

What is the accusation exactly? That someone spent 10 minutes and 5p of council tax precept on a private 'phone call while at work? No it's not even that really is it? You don't know when the call was made or from where or by whom do you? Or that someone else didn't use their name and contact details at 11:37? This is thin Mr Gilligan. Just an excuse to repeat other smears and half stories. It is very thin indeed. Are you actually working for the Boris Johnson campaign yourself? Is that true? Getting paid by The Standard but actually working for BoJo? Sweet.

As indicated above various other stories are rehearsed incompletely. That there was an issue in 2004. That there had been an investigation on grants. And so on. Without indicating the results. Smearage plain and simple.

For all I know this guy has spent five minutes of work time and either a mobile, a web browser or 5p of landline registering these sites. Then again there are many other possible scenarios to explain the facts. Such as: the web design company registered the site. Then there is of course the implication that this design company has been favoured in some way in the past and is returning that favour. But that's odd you know. Because as I say in the rehearsal of the facts above many companies will have won contracts from the GLA, LDA and related accounts.

Coming hot on the heels of the pile of steaming Martin Bright polemic on Channel 4 last night - including of course a reminder of the Standard/Finegold's action against Ken, though not that it collapsed - this shows basically how Ken's enemies know that there is literally NOTHING GOOD ABOUT BORIS versus the Mayor of London's Job. So instead of attempting a positive job selling that gaffe prone clown they are trying to nail Ken with flimsy "investigations" and flagrant dishonesty. Like that presumptuous headline of theirs.

Monday, January 21, 2008

Andrew Gilligan: Is He BoJo's Right Hand Man?


According to Chris Gale in Comments at Tom Watson's blog the famous journalist Andrew Gilligan, who has been using the festering and diseased organ that is the London Evening Standard to attack Ken Livingstone, is deeply implicated in Boris Johnson's campaign. "Right hand man" even. And there was the world thinking Gilligan was an anti-war lefty.

Sunday, January 20, 2008

Baby Sitting: Bribing Big Brother to Play Nice?


Extraordinary. At last night's Chorlton Labour Quiz we found a parent who paid the biggest child in their brood to not beat up their sibling(s) in front of the babysitter. This sounds like a protection racket by the child on their parent. Any other examples of strange contracts between parents and offspring?

Guido Fawkes: Boris Johnson Pants Down Fixation


Ho ho ho. Sewer blogger Guido Fawkes aka Mr GuF has updated his tedious media sleeping with the enemy story by claiming those of the left who think he's a pillock and more importantly betraying his supposedly libertarian philosophy by moralising in this way ... are hypocrites.

GuF's saying everyone on the left was up for jeering when it was Boris Johnson being caught with his big pants round his ankles.

Actually it is mostly the Tory sewer press that enjoy covering this stuff. But anyway, the difference is that Boris is an elected politician, a shadow mimicster, a London mayoral candidate. He's not a mere scribbler or TV presenter.

Perhaps I should give Guido another example?

If the recently defected Manchester councillor Faraz Bhatti - now a Cuddly New Tory, ex Libdemologist - was not an elected member but was instead a journalist and was caught adulterising ... his community might well be scandalised.

Perhaps his wife's family would give him "a good talking to" for dishonouring their family name?

But as he is an elected member he would also stand to lose his so-called "personal vote". And he couldn't complain if the newspapers went after him for it.

This is of course why most political parties aim to select level headed and highly moral individuals as candidates. David Cameron will have done his due diligence before accepting Faraz Bhatti's highly principled request to join the Tories.

POLITICAL INSIGHT: One possible political difference between Faraz and the Manchester Lib Dems has emerged recently. Enough to cause his defection?

The Lib Dems have been ignoring true falls in crime figures and rises in police numbers since 1997 and calling for more police while simultaneously calling for less action on anti-social behaviour.

Following a recent misunderstanding with police officers in a car park near Manchester Airport Faraz Bhatti is campaigning for less police and more turning a blind eye. "Don't you know who I am officer?"

Hazel Blears Triumphs: Tory Iain's are Polarised


Iain Lindley, a Tory of Salford's Fair City, has been parading his lack of insider knowledge for more than thirteen months now. Iain Dale believed his forename sake. Back in December 2006, and again a few days ago.

Lindley's propaganda has basically been that Hazel Blears will get run very close or actually lose the candidacy for the seat of Salford and Eccles. Last time Mr Lindley came out with this crock and Mr Dale drew attention to this we went to L's site and provided a comment predicting that Hazel would win by 2:1.

Yesterday afternoon it emerged that Hazel Blears had won ... by 2:1.

Mr Dale keeps up his adulation as immortalised by Theo Spark (right) and referred to in one of LOL's very earliest posts.

Mr Lindley continues to whine disingenuously.

He is a Tory after all. What do you expect?