Tom Watson found the following in The FT:Lord Tebbit, the former party chairman, acidly summarised the result as “Labour won, the Liberal Democrats did well, and Mr [Tony] Lit, the Tory candidate, and former Labour party donor, who stood under the banner of David Cameron’s Conservatives, did extremely badly”.
What do you know? All the talk of selling Voldemort and the Sun Dance Kid at half the price was a cover. ASDA are selling at 27.5% = £5. I'd not be surprised if Mr Cameron pops up near a crowd of wizard worshippers somewhere tonight - like the beaming personality-cultist Guilderoy Lockheart - before heading off to Rwanda.
Am I the only one who noticed the accidental parody of a Brown-Cameron PMQs in the third in the Shrek franchise (right)? The Scottish-sounding true-heir has been captured and slapped in irons while the English toff Charming pauses to monologue before despatching him and claiming the crown.
The humble and eminently reasonable Shrek wins the day. Hands down. CameronCharming is Dragon's toast.
DISCLAIMER: Should this observation save Mr Steve Bell's day on the currently tortured GB cartooning front ... this is nothing but nothing to do with me Gordon. (Steve: Cheques to the usual address).
John Redwood has spotted a bandwagon. But while reported crime may have gone up a little over new offences as he suggests there are greater, and positive reasons.
Numbers of crimes recorded has also been put up by the extension of CCTV systems - where many minor and middling incidents are logged as crimes and incidents with very little chance of clear up - and also the greater number of bobbies and PCSOs - more access, more reports by a larger factor than clear ups increase. The British Crime Survey is probably a more useful index.
Postscript: I've added a *hug* as Redwood is also falling back on the "brilliant, we've saved Ming" line.
This morning before college day there was a three-line whip to attend Patrick's leavers' assembly at Manley Park Primary School. This is a great school with excellent OFSTEDs including mentions in dispatches.
Things have changed since my day.
Instead of songs from the Sound of Music and blank verse we get steel pans, boxercise to eye of the tiger, massed voices believing they can fly, dramas and natch a leavers' video including just about all the year 6 kids - sponsored by Apple UK.
The down side from my point of view is that through faith schools of all stripes, state selective schools in nearby Trafford, independents and bussing the kids will scatter to the four winds. At least a dozen High Schools I'd reckon.
The school community is rather defined by white flight. Though it has some of the best absolute and value added results in the city. It's their loss as far as I'm concerned.
And while Patrick will host half a dozen of his school mates for a belated Birthday Party on Sunday he may not see most of them much if at all after the strangely orphaned "last day ever" on Monday.
INSTRUCTIONS: - Find a Tory weblog Personally, I have chosen to start by hugging Newmania, Salford's Cllr Iain Lindley poor dear, Dizzy Thinks, Mr GuF, and of course Comrade ID.
Tim has decided that because David Cameron has had such a wretched day, we should all... Hug a Tory.
- Leave a *hug* under 'comments'
- Leave
- Spread the love by repeating this message on your weblog... and include a link to your hug
Hat tip: Bob Piper
It's not all bad: "British kids do great in ... pregnancy tests."
Worth talking a look here. Comments are quite dense, in more ways than one at times.
The fibbing two-faced Lib Dem candidate above chose .... specs. Seemed like an ungracious arse when he spoke. Which is why we all hate Lib Dems. Has this themed facebook group been closed down?
Nigel Bakhai, Liberal Democrat 10,118
John Cartwright, Official Monster Raving Loony 188
Sati Chaggar, English Democrats 152
Salvinder Dhillon, Respect 588
Sarah Edwards, Green 1,135
Kuldeep Grewal, Independent 87
Tony Lit, David Cameron's Conservatives 8,230
Yaqub Masih, Christian Party 280
Jasdev Rai, Independent 275
Kunnathur Rajan, UKIP 285
Virendra Sharma, Labour 15,188 *****
Gulbash Singh, Independent 92
Labour hold. Turnout 43% (2005 56%). 2005 Majority 11,440. This time 5,070. Menzies Campbell 8 visits, Dave-id Cameron 5 or 6 visits. Including two cocktail parties.
Grant Shapps MP is on. As bad as Greg Stone. But no glasses. He is full of it. All sorts of bogus stats. Bogus glee. He's just bogus bogus bogus. 1989 since Lib Dems have not won a by-election where they started second he says. God, he's full of it. The Tories cannot fight a ground war says the reporter. Still he's full of it. Sadly the picture breaks up at this point.
Tony Lit arrives. Shakes hands with lots of Tory boy blog muppets and the like. Where is Gurcharan Singh? Oh dear, not here.
Results added at 02:30
BBC Results and analysis
Stephen Gash, English Democrats 177
Paul Gittins, Independent 1,885
Tim Grainger, Christian Party 177
Chris Haine, Green Party 348
Alan Hope, Official Monster Raving Loony Party 147
Toby Horton, UK Independence Party 536
Graham Robb, Conservative Party 4,082
Norman Scarth, Anti Crime Party 34
Andrew Spence, British National Party 2,494
Greg Stone, Liberal Democrats 5,572
Phil Wilson, Labour Party 12,528
Labour Hold. 2005 majority was 18,445. 2007 majority 6,953 Actually 6,956. Quite impressed with the Tory Graham Robb slamming the negative Lib Dems, the BNP and the Fourth Estate for not scrutinising either the Libs or the Fash crapulence in their pages.
The Northern Echo did take an advert from the BNP but gave the money to charity. That's not good enough. Greg Stone chose to wear his specs. But everyone still wanted to give him a slap.
BBC Results and analysis
Say Newsnight. Nick Robinson informed John McTiernan who is interviewed. There should be an independent inquiry into Shetland Angus and the nationalist cohorts. Guido will be gutted.
Word on the street says majority down from 11,000 to two or three. But hold. And the word is that following that fabled "late surge" the Lib Dems copycat will take a clear second with the Tories trailing in a sad third.
Lib Dems two tables, OK; Tories two tables, which is generous; Labour four tables; one to one bar. Fascists to beat Tories?
UPDATE 00:57: Lib Dems are saying Labour 43%. But the papers looks like more than 50% to these eyes.
In a couple of hours one of these plastered people will be MP for Ealing Southall. No such window displays in Sedgefield mind. Picture
The poor Geordie-Yorkie bar kid still cannot decide which to wear. Decisions! Decisions! Not something Lib Dems are used to having to make. Come on people help poor Greg decide! It's going to go to the wire! It's a two lens race! Monocles can not win here!
This one is not really good enough for press use in Manchester where local people are furious at this bare-faced cheek from their part-time MP and Cllr.
And he's got those blooming Blue Peter shoes on again.
Stephen Newton has a story of extortion and execution. With links to Amnesty International to allow you to intervene to save the life of this flautist. He killed a man when he was 16. In Iran they let children grow up before executing them. Which is a bit off as they promised not to.
Meanwhile if there is anyone who knows how long Cllr John Leech MP spent actually "sleeping rough" in Manchester in another Amnesty activity recently I'd be glad to have the details. If it was all night I'll give him credit for it with only mild qualification. But if he skipped most of it - as he did the anti-war demo he's also bragging about - I promise to be firm and thoroughly unfair.
Iain is rather self-righteously calling thusly: The BBC Must Take Full Responsibility. The accusations are in a nutshell that they are making mistakes, failing to take responsibility, and scapegoating others.
Iain reports in comments that when he has been involved in things with Channel 4 they have picked over it all with a fine tooth comb. Quite right too. Unlike say, Endemol, Iain's fact checking and policies could and should be far better than they are. BBC! Steer clear or do the same.
For a handy example Iain claims the production company RDF have been "banned" from ever making a programme again. In fact there is a simple and very reasonable "pause" while RDF, the BBC and the individuals involved fast forward to find out just how she-who-must-be-portrayed came to be so fiendishly "slighted".
Obviously Hilda is not a bad old stick. She has graciously accepted an apology from an ignorant colonial and from a cheeky and/or careless state broadcaster and their feckless minions.
But let's face it she is Thief of All She Surveys and that eternal truth is what's bugging Iain and his cast of thousands.
They think the BBC is run by a load of pinko republicans who are on to the fact that the Monarchy are simply the blow hards and in-breds at the top of the Robber Baron Tree.
That the royal succession has often been fudged, with a narrow escape for spawn-of-royal-bastards Dave-id "only me" Cameron, and that Britain would quite frankly be better off with some bicycling paupers doing pagaentry every now and then.
Three late surges. In homage to the Noble Lords Razzall, Rennard and the sadly sidelined Greavesy. But can you name them? Just for fun? By email if you want to let it run. Right to the wire. Two horse race and all that.
This is a poster from Dr Rai. He is the agreed candidate of the bearded, turbaned, visible Sikh community who felt upset and underrepresented when Gurcharan Singh and two other long listed candidates in their niche communal grouping were not shortlisted. But what's going on?
- Why did Gurcharan and two other turbaned Sikh's defect and support Dave-id Cameron's secular and unsympathetic Tony Lit? What has been promised?
- Why have the Sikh Federation, Sikh Sangat and fellow travellers who insist they are interested only in getting a visible Sikh (man) selected and elected punished the Labour Party - who have done the most BY FAR to advance their cause as representatives, Exec Members, Mayors - and backed a party which has done nothing? Which didn't even have a selection process? What has been promised?
- Why did Sikh Sangat publish a most scurrilous story - claiming that the champion of their cause, Dr Rai, had hanged himself, associating this claim with various false and highly defamatory claims, accusations of racism, calls to remember an assassination in 1984 and the killing that followed it, and naturally plugs for Tony Lit - when they are out to see backing for a bearded, turbaned, visible Sikh, like Dr Rai, and not some cross-dressing trans-political millionaire?
- What involvement, if any, has Grant Shapps, or his agents and allies, had in this ridiculous, malicious, communalist carry on?
Does anyone recognise the geezer on the far right, as it were?
Does this help remind anyone?
Or perhaps you need this?
W Menzies Campbell is due to visit. All enquiries and requests for interviews to Dave Hennigan on 07*** ******. MPs confirmed to visit over the next few days include Charles Kennedy MP, Nick Clegg MP, Chris Huhne MP, Alan Beith MP and winner of the Dunfermline By-election Willie Rennie MP amongst others.
Sadly, Ming was yesterday's man. LOL Archive.
Apart from playing fast-and-loose on the blogs the Tories are playing fast-and-loose on the poster front. Just how much money are Tony Lit and Grant Schweppes spending on this by-election?
ASIDE: It is always a good laugh for me when Lib Dems belly-ache about flyposting! One day I'll blog it.
In order - so it seems - to assist the Sikh vote for Tory Tony Lit and reduce the chances of "the Racist Bhaman", by which they mean Labour's Virendra Sharma, Sikh communalist hotheads at SikhSangat.com (registration required) and in comments here and elsewhere are pretending that Dr Rai - the agreed candidate for the visible turbaned Sikh - has committed suicide (above and below top). 
This is totally and utterly untrue (above).
Will they stop at nothing? And why are these hotheads favouring the greasy and secular Lit over the man - chosen in a council of bearded Sikhs - who is carrying the torch for them? Perhaps Grant 1234 Shapps has learnt to impersonate Sikhboy text talk? Innit?
UPDATE: Sock Puppet Killer-in-Chief Tim Ireland at Bloggerheads is out to nail the culprit. The originator has only been on the forum for 8/9 days ... around when Mr Shapps was being caught at it elsewhere. Though that must surely be a coincidence?
My pal Jon Henley at the Guardian Diary has finally managed to run a non-squirrel story. Concerning Gary Bushy Tail. Sorry no Jon, no Jon, nay, that is Gary Bushell:Say what you like about Mr Gary Bushell's upstanding English Democrats (slogan: "Not left, not right, just English"), they certainly know their England. Picked out of a recycling bin in election-crazy Ealing Southall on Tuesday night, an English Democrats leaflet featuring "a message to the voters of Sedgefield". Bless.
Up Sedgefield way there is a rather confused story from the By-Elections Blog here. Looks like despite the headline the Northern Echo ran a BNP advert AND a lively editorial supporting free speech. Desperate.
Even for nasty fascists who waste police time concocting tyre slashings, peddle hatred, fail as councilors, and get suspended? Though, phew, not in a Benito Mussolini kind of way. Heaven forfend.
The Political Betting story on an unlikely Sedgefield upset has become a bit of a scrapbook for comments on both by-elections. Just after 6pm "Baskerville" posted a link with the annotation: "Isaby has intelligence from the front line - make of it what you will…" It's the Little and Large blog at The Daily Telegraph. (Now taken down on legal advice)
Labour blogger Political Penguin picked this up too, wisely screen grabbed the page (below, click etc), and analysed the possible election offences being described.
The numbers blurred on the grab have appeared several times (in permutations) in the comments at Political Betting. There's been an hour or so of "don't panic" etc and attempts to advise the blogger in chief there to take them down. Therre is in fact a police investigation now going on. According to Sky News, and later BBC Web/News 24.
Having been a teller at various postal and other vote countings I think they'd have to be getting way, way too much help from the staff to have numbers with any sort of confidence.
I must therefore suggest that whether or not the high Tory Isaby and/or his informants really have the real numbers they have mostly made the published numbers up.
If that is so Isaby has described and impersonated an electoral offence. But none may have been committed in the real world. Which will be bang to rights according to comments. Apart that is from There will certainly be the very serious matter of wasting police time.
Sadly telling porkies in by-elections, even on blogs, is not much of an offence to go at.
Here are a couple of the comment posts:9. Tressage I don’t know on what basis but John Loony thought 3000 odd would have been cast in ES ( he had the figure for numbers applied for which was obviously a bit higher). If the Telegraph blogger is right they split Lab ** Con ** LD *.
by blue moon July 18th, 2007 at 6:43 pm
Another version said *.* for LD. And then there was this:27. 9. Sorry to spoil the party but if that blogger is right about the postal votes then a bet on the Lib Dems should be in order. Their postal vote machine will have been poor beside the other two, especially Labour. So in that range is interesting. Also it suggests 17% others.
To be honest I do not believe a word of it, and feel that more fool anyone who does.
by dave (s) July 18th, 2007 at 7:47 pm
UPDATE: I would also predict that in Ealing Southall many "postal voters" will have hung on to their "betting slips" until the last minute and will be taking part in the walk up after the last minute hits, denials and scams.
Lots of murmuring to the contrary. But here's why.
Over at Political Betting Mike Smithson must be very pleased with his £200 at 6-5 on Labour having less market share than 58%. And he has got a good price of 33-1 on a Lib Dem win. And what's more the "squeeze" leaflet they have produced is plain talking. But it just won't work.
Telling these good folk what's happened in Newcastle is a reminder that their man is a Geordie usurper, which, from a party of fetishist localists would seem to be a schoolboy error. And geographically it's almost as bad as telling people in Ken Clarke's patch in Rushcliffe, Notts that there are no Tories in distant Manchester.
I wouldn't bet on Tories in this area giving up on their tribal allegiances. But if they do it may well be to clobber the Geordie-Yorkie (Thanks Alan) rather than Labour! I think Mike's bet on market share should win but there was free money at 3-100 on a Labour win ...
Unity has subjected Iain Dale's peculiar loss of marbles and rampant Gordonophobia to the throughgoing frisking and frottage it deserves.
Still time to get another couple of votes in. Is no-one else going to plump for glasses? Is it me or does the RH one look a bit squiffy?
Like Ealing Southall it's neck and neck, or Schnick und Schnack.
Iain Dale throws stones at the voting record of Gordon Brown on Gay Rights. How queer! Dave-id's is worse. Dave-id has appointed Ms Spelman and Ms, sorry, Baroness Warsi to be shadowy mimicsters. And of course senior figures on all sides have portfolios to run and are regularly missing from divisions.
Perhaps there should be a proxy system for such votes? But perhaps the fact that all these government measures went through by 100 of more votes should be taken into account?
This is quite a reasonable analysis of Ealing Southall and a generally thoughtful new (to me) blogateer.
Well I don't know. Tom Watson has drawn attention to Iain Dale's Comment is Free piece in the Guardian. IDD is, naturally enough, spinning that Tories are in a win-win situation in Ealing Southall with first, second, or third all constituting a great victory for the great leader.
Something like that anyway. It's a bit hard to follow.
Iain has not linked to this guff from his blog and it can be lonely without his greek chorus of male muppets (86%) and hideous harpies (14%). So to keep him company I've posted this comment:Hardly any comments Iain? Not like your blog then. Then again here one has to be a signed in person with bona fides.
I tend to agree with your thesis. (Second is the prize.) And with Tony Lit lying third by all accounts Thursday/Friday will be very sad days for Cameron's Conservatives. The beginnings of a death by 1000 cuts for poor Dave-id.
Never mind Ealing Southall betting. What are the odds on Cameron being out of a job before Campbell ever is?
The alleged tricks laid at Grant 1234 Shapps' door will mark him out for all time as a Tory with something of the Libdemologist about him.
Meanwhile you Tory Boy Bloggers have missed the story that the Lib Dems sent Cllr John "Two Jobs" Leech MP to reassure the people of Ealing Southall that Nigel Bakhai would be a "Full Time" MP. How very ironic.
Iain (aged 45 exactly) has a hissy fit at Tom (apparently aged 39 and 3/4 here. Apparently both have always wanted to be MPs. Tom Watson has been one - with spells in the government - for years.
CAPTION: It is a little known fact that Am-Dram Iain last year landed a dream role in Panto as the Jester in Snow White.
Guido is boasting of repeatedly receiving stolen goods in the form of PDFs of Campbell's Diaries.
One of the thiefs, an anal creature, has counted all the swear words like some giggly nine-year-old. The count is high. But as this is 15 years worth and hardly matches a week of Guido's comments some would say it has been seriously expurgated.
Or else AC is simply much nicer and more polite than Mr GuF's guests?
What a roller coaster ride this Ealing Southall campaign is! Longsight Lib Dem lightweights were used in Tory Grant Schweppes' impersonation scam. And now a Manchester Lib Dem expert on short-changing and two-facedness has been brought in by the Lib Dems themselves to big up their candidate's honourable Full Time intentions!The crowd held a sign reading 'Shortchanged by Sharma' ... and Local resident Nigel Bakhai, said:
"Mr Sharma has short-changed the people of Southall and they are clearly fed up.
"Mr Sharma's failure to attend Council meetings - despite being paid to do so - just reveals how much Labour takes local people for granted.
"I promise to be a full-time MP and to fight for a fair deal for the people of Ealing and Southall.
"If people want value for their vote, this is what I can offer."
Hee hee, Naughty Nigel could be talking about Leech himself. Still a Councillor as well as an MP and on one or two Town Hall committees. His record hasn't been that great as I recall. Indeed, even if he does make a Council meeting it generally means he's missed PMQs or some other Westminster responsibility.
He is yet to do any real campaigning work there - recorded on his web or in an EDM - for his own ward constituents in Chorlton Park ward. It isn't even in the list of wards he represents. And his list of EDMs supported seems to be thrown ever farther afield.
He appears to use his council payment of £15,000 as part of his party political campaigning funds.
Possibly even to fund that Campaign Organiser job.
Cllr John Leech MP has been most famous locally for his Hospital Hoax when he pretended a couple of weeks before polling day that our regional cancer hospital faced closure. He announced it was saved about a week after his election on what seems to have been a rather false manifesto. Leech's material was even handed to chemo and radio therapy patients.
And they even issued a denial that it was a hoax - on April Fool's Day!
Way to go Nigel Bakhai! You are now a laughing stock! Drafting in "two jobs" "Hospital Hoax" Leech to announce you will be full time.
Ha ha ha ha ha.
CAPTION: Sadly the Lib Dems don't identify the Asian Gentleman on the left. Then we have Nigel "Who He" Bakhai and John "Hospital Hoax" Leech. If there's a better picture somewhere please send it on. Thanks.
What can have got Tom Watson this excited and yet taciturn?
Has the Lib Dem defected to Labour? And/or the Tory? Do we now have three candidates running in one by-election?
It has to be something pretty serious.
Far and away the best programme I've seen on 18 Doughty Street.
Recommended. But ignore Iain Dale's almost puerile 30-second escalator script which does not do it justice. Directed by Mike Rouse.
The piece is almost one hour. The player does not allow pausing and recapping which is a great shame. And a transcript would be a great boon.
Sunny has been a roving reporter this very evening. Sunny suggests Gordon Brown has promised to personally castrate Kingmaker Keith Vaz if this were to go bad. The post-cocktail Tory and the Labourite didn't attend. Nige' was late.
Labour's Joan Ryan poses some tough questions for Dave-id Cameron:Whisky Sours all round as Tory Campaign Collapses
Labour talks to local residents whilst Cameron throws a cocktail party
Whilst all the other political parties are on the doorstep talking to local voters about their concerns, David Cameron's Conservatives will be toasting Tony Lit at an exclusive cocktail party tonight.
Joan Ryan, Labour's Vice Chair Campaigns said: "With breathtaking arrogance and staggering complacency David Cameron's Conservatives are oblivious to what is really going on in Ealing and Southall.
"If there was any sense of reality it would be whisky sours all round.
"When he turns up for his fourth visit to Ealing instead of drinking rusty nails,he should be courteous enough to answer the questions local residents continue to ask David Cameron:
"When did David Cameron know that Tony Lit's Sunrise Radio handed over a £4,800 cheque to the Labour Party on 15 June?
"When did David Cameron know that Tony Lit attended a Labour Party fundraiser on 20 June?
"Did Tony Lit tell David Cameron the truth before he was hand-picked by Cameron for the Ealing Southall by-election?
"Did David Cameron tell Ealing Southall Conservative Party members that his hand-picked candidate had been at a Labour fundraiser eight days before he was appointed as by-election candidate?
"Does David Cameron agree with Tory campaign manager Grant Shapps that "We've learned a lot from recent by-elections. We've learned you have to have the right candidate, and if you do, that completely changes the story of the campaign."? (Observer, 15/7/07)
"Does David Cameron still believe that "Tony Lit is a brilliant candidate"? (Mail on Sunday, 15/7/07)
"Does David Cameron still agree with Alan Duncan, who says on webcameron "I've run by-elections when it's all gone the wrong way, this one just feels as though it is going the right way"?.
Political Betting (click their graph for markets) reports betting markets suggesting Labour winning in Ealing Southall. Meanwhile this is what the Libdemologists are telling their own members:BY-ELECTIONS: “LIB DEMS BACKED FOR BY-ELECTION GLORY” SAY BOOKIES
The Liberal Democrats have been backed to win both of [this] week’s by-elections with William Hill, who have slashed their odds from 5/1 to 3/1 to win the Ealing-Southall by-election; and from 33/1 to 16/1 to win in Sedgefield. “The Lib Dems traditionally fare well in by-elections and as ninety per cent of the money we have taken for these two is being placed on that Party there is clearly an expectation that Sir Menzies Campbell’s leadership could be in for a boost next Thursday” said William Hill’s spokesman Graham Sharpe.
Text taken directly from William Hill press release, ‘Lib Dems backed for by-election glory’, 14/07/07
While there have been some surprises over the past couple of years, betting wise, the fact that the Lib Dems are being "backed to win" puts them in the same position as many of the fallers at the Grand National. A 40-horse race that one.
There is now a exceedingly unscientific "poll" on Ealing Southall voting intentions.
It's on the Ealing Times site.
Towards the bottom of the Editor's Choice column.
My own feeling is that the Tories and Lib Dems are closer than this nonsense suggests (25:25 or close) but that the Labour figure is about right.
Applications by midnight I guess. This Campaign Organiser advert doesn't actually specify:
£17-18k depending on experience, plus travel allowance
The 34 strong Group is looking for an Organiser to help them gain seats across the City in the next couple of years. You will be responsible for producing artwork, literature and campaign plans for target seats, and report directly to the Group Leader.
We are offering a 10 month fixed contract in the first instance, with a view to a permanent appointment next June. You will need to have some campaigning experience, be highly motivated with good Computer/DTP skills and a Car. An ability to get on with a diverse range of Councillors, Members and Activists is a must. Some weekend and evening work will be necessary.
closes 16 July 2007. Interviews week starting 30th July in Manchester. Start date: 3rd September.
contact Please send a CV (with two referees) and covering letter to Cllr Simon Ashley, Group Leader, at 18 Dorlan Avenue, Gorton, Manchester M18 7NA, or by E Mail to simon@gorton.org by the 16th of July. For more information and a job description contact Simon on 0161 234 3354.
website http://manchester-libdems.org.uk
Oh. didn't I say? It's working for the Manchester Lib Dems, sorry.
From Dr Wakefield's cock and bull stories to the Mirror revelation that Cameron's Tory "Tony Lit" has no interest in party politics whatsoever.
Meanwhile as Dave-id visits for about the fifth time for a Cameron's Conservatives' Cocktail Cornucopia Tom Watson is inviting the campaign team, including the virtual brigades, to suggest a Conservative Cocktail we would be and why.
Well, clearly a Long Island Iced Tea (LIIT) might hit the spot? Or a Take Ealing Slammer may await naughty Grant Schweppes, or Take Ealing Sunrise for that matter? 
There's always a Kensington Court Special or a Savoy Corpse Reviver as the nearest thing to Lit's alleged-by-sockpuppets Chelsea mansion and impending doom.
A large Blueberry Tea or a Blue Hawaii may remind of the flag of convenience, or a Cameron Bull Shot may be just the ticket.
JOIN IN AT HOME: Recipes and Cocktail Internet Database.
The BBC news site leads on the story that Dr Andrew Wakefield added a £5 to children's party bag takings if he let him extract their blood. All in the interests of science naturally. Dr Wakefield and his chums caused a reduction in MMR coverage from 92% (DoH target is 95%) in 1998, when they published what peers have called "a crock of shit", to 80%. Even the Guardian and other serious papers were taken in by all this. MMR take up has since bounced back to 88%.
This is Wakefield's official CV at 'Thoughtful House' and he is pictured above with feisty new country singer Natalie Maines of the Dixie Chicks. Let's hope the war-opposing star doesn't get it in the neck to go with the hit to her wallet at the dodgy Doctor's fundraiser.
UPDATE: The party bag trick apparently escalated to a "Trip of a Lifetime" to America for kids to get lucky with a risky and, in UK, ethically unacceptable lumbar puncture that no UK hospital's ethics committee would sanction. I'm told Wakefield's blood suckers made out that BUPA and all that had been roped into a government conspiracy to thwart his potty research.
This will come up anon in a case which may last several months. On anon.
MORE: Black Triangle is an excellent source for MMR truth.
I would like to congratulate Iain Dale for conducting and presenting this interview (taster above) on 18 Doughty Street tonight (8pm).
Not altogether happy with Mr Dale's 30-second elevator pitch. But I haven't seen the programme, so perhaps it is spot on. We'll see later on.
Iain's rather rabid commentators seem to have taken their clue from their host. They might instead consider what a spokesperson for the State of Israel might say if pressed on their nearest equivalent of the three issues Iain highlights. The first answers in italic are the Palestine Ambassador's positions, verbatim as mediated by Dale. The rejoinder in bold is what an Israeli Ambassador might say:
* That rocket attacks on Israel from Gaza, the West Bank or Lebanon are justified - even if innocent civilians are killed;
That strafing of innocent people in Gaza, Cana, anywhere really is justified for Israel's Security.
* That the famous footage of Palestinians dancing for joy on the streets on 9/11 was faked by the Israelis;
That XY and Z have been faked by Arabs and anti-semites (and I'm not saying that either assertion is true or untrue before anyone starts).
* That Hamas should apologise to the Palestinian people; and says that while the Taleban may have been a little excessive in their modus operandi, at least they kept order.
That Hamas should apologise. And that while the wall, the border crossings, the shooting of peaceniks, the strafing of Lebanon, the potential nuking of Teheran are a little excessive in their modus operandi, at least they kept or will keep order.
As so often in these cases the discourse is horribly similar on both sides of the argument. We can say there is no equivalence as loudly and as often as we wish as we choose to promote one side or the other.
But the discourse is mirrored.
If we want progress we need to break that cycle. [touch of irony]Which is where honest brokers like Daniel Pipes and Tony Blair come in.[/touch of irony] I wish Blair luck by the way and don't think Pipes is quite as bad as people say ...
Well done to Iain Dale and His Excellency the Ambassador for producing this. I'm not sure about the 30-second elevator pitch. And clearly the programme is in a well known context of Tory TV. But I will be watching this one with interest.
Unity has celebrated Boris Johnson's elevation to the possibility of perhaps being the gaffe-riddled Tory London mayoral candidate by promoting an ancient civilization. Boris, before he was an MP, being done up like a kipper on Have I Got News For You. Reminded of his tape recorded agreement to help convicted fraudster, Old Etonian, biffer of royalty, and Bullingdon Boy Darius Guppy in tracking down a NOTW journalist the latter wanted to bish. It is probably too much to hope that DG is the unidentified 10th man in the Cameron/Johnson Bullingdon portrait. If not he was perhaps enjoying a night in a cell somewhere. Both Johnson and Guppy make the BNP List of Criminal Tories.
Meanwhile, The Daily Mail does a fine job of reporting a thunderous punch up between Earl Spencer and the lad Guppy.
The latter believed, with some justification if the gossip of the day were to be believed (which I don't), that Spencer spent Guppy's 13-month jail sentence trying to get off with Guppy's wife. Meanwhile Boris goes "Ape".
So there you go. Ken - called a reporter a few names. And got called some back - strangely excised from the tape. Boris - recorded agreeing to help a notorious hothead find a scribbler for a proper old fashioned, but non-fatal or at least not premediatated as fatal, kicking.
Which thankfully never happened due to Boris' incompetence which also saw him sacked from the Times - for making up quotes.
No-one has yet been able to pin down Lib Dems in Ealing Southall paying over "lottery winnings" for those displaying window and garden posters. But the Lib Dem Geordie all alone and at sea in Pitmatics or at a push Mackem land has been caught bang to rights furtively handing something to this "local resident".
Two garden posters means double the chances presumably. Naturally, the local is in fact one of the tiny handful of party members in County Durham and it can be hoped the money the something will be recycled.
Highly amusing of course is the Lib Dem reporting of the bookies' odds:
What a triumph! The odds say that the Tories are MORE THAN 23 TIMES less likely to win that the glorious Lib Dems. Isn't that absolutely pathetic? Perhaps someone could work out the multiplier between the Lib Dems who must surely be hot on Labour's heels to be crowing so much? What's that you say? SEVEN HUNDRED AND THREE times less likely to win? How ridiculous is that? But you can still get free money from the bookies. For every £100 you are prepared to risk the bookies will give you £3 if and only if Labour win.
As the sayings go: "It's a two horse race. The Tories cannot win here. Only Lib Dems can beat Labour here."
One of the Lib Dems' favourite fibs over the past few days has been that Wil-lie Rennie's odds were the same as this a week out. While that might just be true the lie of omission here is that Labour weren't on 1-33 on!
Let's hope that when Will-lie visited Sedgefield yesterday he took the chance to visit some local cluster bomb factories and congratulate them as he has done in Scotland ... before standing up with John Leech (another young man who has trouble with fact and fiction, integrity and hypocrisy) and tried to get the factory's produce banned!
HERE Labour of Love scripted an attack advert against this Cluster of Lib Dem Bombers; HERE we speculated about fibber Rennie and fibber Leech's poor re-election prospects; and HERE with links to earlier Fib Dem and LoL stories we wished Willie a happy Burns Night.
Meanwhile LOL reckoned Will-lie deserved a dunking for his two-facedness with Unions and Management.
Pollcode.com is I believe set to accept one vote per IP per 24 hours. Is no-one else going to plump for glasses?
Boris Johnson is an A List Bullingdon Buffoon (BBC Media Player). Three cheers for BJ. Hip pip, hip pip, hip pip. And toodlepip from LOL!
Will Grant 1234 Schweppes follow through on his hissy writ threat?
Lib Dem Voice, being Lib Dems, are familiar with dirty campaign tactics, innuendo and hoaxes. Now they are guilty of psychological projection in accusing Tom Watson of trying to smear them, or being wrong.
Not guilty on both counts. Tom reports police being called to some party political argy-bargey involving unnamed oppositionists. Absolutely true. According to the LDV account Tories (one party) were scrapping with Supporters (not Labour, so at least two parties) and Lib Dem activists were involved only by arriving at the scene as this kicked off (so two or three parties in all).
There are nominally ELEVEN strands of Opposition in Ealing Southall, even discounting two folded independents there are NINE. Methinks these Lib Dems protest too much in this case. Why do they try to smear Tom by claiming he meant the Lib Dems rather than permutations of the other eight? Guilty feet, no rhythm etc etc.
This has also been a day of speculation on whether the outing of Tony Lit even further as an opportunist could come back to bite Labour by driving votes to the Lib Dems. It seems to me that, having had the info for four weeks Labour have played this beautifully.
The calculation for "why now?": anti-Labour element of PVs on balance may have gone to Lit who is of course a Sikh and a smoothy. However if Lit's war position is known - there's quite a chance he was all for it, I don't know - the Libs will also get a fair run in PVs. But perhaps the Tories will be ahead of the two as the bookies have had them.
Then all this beautifully timed Lit-bashing puts the 2nd and 3rd back together at say 25% and leaves Labour safe at say 40%. Greens and Respect a few points down, sharing 10% or so with the Independents. Great timing IMO from Watson.
Political Betting also seem worried about this but thinking Lit could benefit by showing he has influence across several parties.
It boosts Lit's profile certainly. As an opportunistic rogue though. Is that the image the Tories want to press home? What with the single issue hothead Gurcharan Singh and the Hounslow "defectors" who crossed to the Tories via a community party standing for "Total Democracy" and founded by a former NF organiser and ABH jailbird it is surely the Tories looking all wrong here?
Every now and then some wag will reel out the joke about the age old cliff top dilemma:There is a Tory opponent and a Lib Dem opponent standing on the proverbial cliff top.
Which do you push off first?
Chorus: The Tory!
Why?
Business before pleasure!
Make no mistake Tom Watson's eyes are set on Dave-id Cameron himself with this latest development.
The polls are running for Labour. All this defection trouble is showing up Cameron more and more by the minute. And having some by-election smarts TW has waited until the voting is almost over! There are a high proportion of votes in most constituencies now that are executed by post. They aren't usually wait-until-the-last-minute types. Most will already be in the box.
The timing of this intervention will turn off some tribal Tories for the walk up vote. But many of them, in a three-way fight, still have enough self respect to back their hearts or not vote at all. They won't back the Lib Dem.
Nearby Nigel may get some swings at this stage but I do think this will be fairly limited. The whole thing must be looking a bit confused all round. Which favours the incumbent. Sharma is the closest to Piabra in style and approach. A safe bet with 25 years of delivery in the Borough.
He will win with a sound majority. At the next General Election - particularly if it is June 2009 - he may even stand aside having had his short but sweet ten minutes.
Then we will have an All Women Shortlist and more fun and games.
Tapestry has been commenting left, right and centre on this story I think. But the home blog doesn't cover it. Instead it is about shooting down the Europhiles - before it's too late. Deselecting them. Driving them away. Managing to combine a "nothing against gays" line, with the idea that "gay" names like Quentin (and John and Ken?) can help sniff 'em out ... Cuddly Nu Tories. Don't you just love them?
Sadly Mr GuF has not yet printed my comment on his story about the charming David Basher Davis needing a new HoP worker. Wondering aloud whether Basher would consider an "Out" socialist for the job, seeing as he has scared off the Tories with his brutal constructive dismissal approach to personnel relations.
I also informed fabled fascist fighter Fawkes that the Hounslow Two, the ones Cameron, Murdoch and Dale wrongly called defectors, had reached the Tories via a strange "Total Democracy" community party founded by an ex-NF activist and ex-jailbird.
Sticking in the area of speculation on defections and imagined defections Conservative Home seem, despite their own protests, to be absolutely convinced that John Bercow MP will join Labour at the moment of maximum impact. PMQs Wednesday?
This comes after years of being antagonised by the deeply un-Christian, churchian values of IDS.
Meanwhile a far more interesting question than the odds on a Geordie shock in Co Durham to these eyes at least is whether the losing Lib Dem fantasist, seen above with Tinkerbell possibly sprinkling more fairy dust on a consolation trip to Paris Disney Land, should wear lenses or goggles for the declaration on Thursday night.
On the face of it it's 50:50, rather like how Lib Dem votes fall in a free vote, being a party of coherent politics and all, but perhaps you'd like to take a free punt on the eye wear question and help this poor Geordie leave Co Durham with dignity? He has agreed to be bound by the result, however grim, and whatever the turnout.
Nigel Bakhai, a more resolute and less weasel tongued man, says he will continue with his glasses half full whatever the result.
Richard Huzzey is looking forward to counting his £172 winnings, on a spread bet stake of £5.16, if their man beats George Bush's candidate in Sedgefield. He is even urging his readers to send good money after bad. They can "win almost as much" he says with a dabble at 33-1 on the nose.
An alternative way of looking at that proposition is that one could LOSE more than twice as much angling for £172 with a bet of £11 at odds of 16-1 as now pertain.
With a humungous weigh-in of Postal Votes already in the box it must be said that this price is crashing because of Lib Dem lemmings piling in on the back of the LDV nap. Doh! And sensible hedgers covering a 100-1 in the real world with a very small wager. Just in case.
With apologies to the poets what wrote it. But, as Unity revealled overnight in comments and in the more rigourous and extended form we expect back at base, Mr Lit not only paid £4,800 for a table at a recent Tony Blair departure dividend banquet (below). But also successfully bid just £4,000 - which account he is yet to settle (skillfully circumnavigating the £5,000 disclosure threshhold 'til after the by-election) - for a schmooze cruise with blue stocking Ms Hillary Rodham Clinton. No doubt incorporating a chance to give haphazardly to a political campaign.
Additional reporting from Melissa Kite, Iain Dale's ex-friend, ever since he called her a shit reporter OWTTE, explaining - as a revered authority on both journalism and maturity - that she should "grow up". Happy 45th for today Iain.
Speaking of Blair's departure dividend this also included papal indulgences for some bad boy Tory bloggers which I have so far forgotten to plug.
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