Manchester Casino: Come in Hazel B, Your Time is Up

If Hazel Blears does not come up with some demonstrably equally good or better ways to regenerate the proposed casino site, at what used to be called Eastlands, presumably Gordon Brown will be giving the casino plan the green light? David Ottewell exclusively reveals another slip between cup and lip.

What do we need? 3,000 jobs. And when do need them? Now! Mostly C1, C2, D walk to work jobs. Yet well paid. Providing immediate starts, careers, and strong local multipliers. We do not need an ABC1 mix that would be the lion's share of a quango or public office. Come on Hazel, deliver for Gordon or give us the Casino.

More Guff from the Gufster: Guido Fawkes Plays Thick

More GuF I'm afraid. Is Guido expecting us to believe he's thick as crusty dung? The Granite/Northern Rock relationship is clear and has been for months. Surely Guido is not so thick that he doesn't know the difference between owning something and having inward and/or outward obligations to partners?

Earlier the dyed-in-the-wool all-mouth-and-not-trousers bully boy was expecting us to believe he was so thick and juvenile - like the freshest and very thickest clotted cream perhaps - that he thought it was clever to split hairs on whether a person or transactions they are allegedly involved in are being investigated by the Metropolitan Police.

Obviously Guido flunked his degree - crashing and burning pitifully from some benighted yorkshire Tech - but there's always lifelong learning to offer a second chance. Would anyone join me in pledging £1 to a Guido Education Trust?

Alex Salmond: State Funded Limo for CurryPolitics?

'Oi, Salmond, pass the Mars Bar Pakoras jimmy, with a good old dollop of tax payer gravy.

Ridiculous Politics catches Salmond using a parliamentary chaffeur and limo on late night curry duty, not to mention to SNP political meetings.

Great stuff from the party of snouts in the trough and lest we forget playing with fire.

Still More Kiddy Politics: Blogger Staines Rings and Runs

Looks like the right wing blogger and bon vivant, now the main source of hot economic analysis for the towering heights of capitalism has rung the bell for round one in a billion dollar scrap - centred on his persistent mendacity and thievery - and immediately thrown in the towel. Tim "Manic" Ireland, the champion, would have mashed the pudgy dipsoid.

More Tory Kiddy Politics: 400 Words When 40 Will Do

Juvenile Manchester Tory letter writers might have said :

"We disagree with Phil Woolas MP raising the issue of persistent marriages between first cousins - particularly prevalent among Pakistanis from rural backgrounds - and accuse him of blowing a dog whistle and pandering to racist elements in his constituency."

What they actually said is a very tedious and malformed rant. I'm surprised that the Manchester Evening News Postbag indulged them quite so much. Perhaps it has been edited down already?

Either way they - Messrs Adlard and Ali - are wrong in various regards. They impugn Mr Woolas by putting words into his mouth that were in fact press concoctions. They refuse to engage with a very serious issue. Are they supporting this kind of nonsense analysis?

Are Adlard and Ali effectively supporting that old tosh? This is of a kind with creationism, literalism and fundamentalism around Biblical texts. The learned Sheik's wishful thinking may say different. But it actually ignores the Quran. This cites the Prophet as commanding to: “marry those who are distant”.

These Tory Toddlers should not resile (like that Mary?) from having the debate. As on Pickled Politics where Bartholemew comments and posts a link to the NY Times which confirms that it is repeated cousin marrying cf toffs, royals and superstitious rural people that brings the dangers.

FOR THE RECORD: Phil Woolas is a tireless fighter against the BNP. And he has very publically slam dunked some local Lib Dems for very specific pandering and mirroring of racist attitudes. Reading his text and explanations is recommended rather than relying on the Daily Mail. First cousin marriage repeated generation upon generation is a very serious problem. Whereas as a one off it has little risk.

Adlard and Ali will very likely get a proper twatting from Phil himself in tomorrow's paper.

Total Propaganda: Iain Dale Skies One on PMQs

Mr Dale's spar on Sky News this evening: "the ever fragrant Julia Hartley-Brewer" as he calls her; scored PMQs Gordon ****; Davey ***; Nicky ***. In the right ballpark I'd say. Following that Dale scored the tap dancing contest Gordon **; Davey ****; Nicky ***. Ridiculous bias or runaway Tory Boy Blogger enthusiasm? Bit of both I'd say.

Even Adam Boulton clearly thought Iain was addled on this one. Pointing out that Gordon's "student union politics" (above, a younger Cam left, with other Oxenford yah boos) was the concept that would stick, that Iain was a silly hypocrite to criticise that soundbite, that Davey had fumbled the ball by letting Clogg go first on Northern Rock, that Gordon looked statesmanlike compared to manic trotty Cam, that the Labour back benches were on good form. Even perhaps that Iain's favourite Freedom of Information Act question was in fact big pants.

Amazing isn't it? Gordon is getting better at this rather irrelevant tap dancing audition, while memory man and song and dance specialist Cam has lost his sparkle. Yet Dale claims Cam is twice as good as Brown? What codswallop!

Hilarious that Boulton was feigning concern that his audience was 80% behind Cam (Gordon 10%, Clogg 3%, None of the Above 7%). CLUE ADAM: Sky News is a highly biased parody "Agenda News". Going where even "Drop the Dead Donkey" feared to tread.

Iain Dale's Diary: PMQs on Sky News at 8.30pm

Iain Dale seems to think that swivel-eyed mania and nastiness won PMQs for the boy David. Not so.

Didn't catch it live today. But I think that Gordon's "student union politics" is on the money. So who dear reader did you think 'WON" this today?

The crankier and more manic Cameron and GOO are on this matter the less people will vote for the Tories. Which is good. So crank it up to 11. Not even "third form" as we used to say in old money. (Year nine). 11 is the approximate age group informing the wit and repartee from the Blues. Put another one-bug on the fire Dear Flashman!

Everyone that could reasonably have been helped in this Northern Rock business has come out if not exactly smiling then at least relieved.

This Freedom of Information gambit from Little Boy Blue seems poor actually. Though "private and confidential" plus "commercial in confidence" is customarily excluded anyway it seems reasonable to cut off the mischief before it begins.

The Tory latter day conversion to the nuclear option on this ailing, very minor, third tier mortgage bank would very clearly have been far far worse. Much as it was attractive momentarily as an alternative to bailing out foolish capitalists it would have hurt working people more. Making the "Dead Man Walking" jibe from the Baronet Sir GOO of Tatton extraordinary.

Answering a question with a question is of course absolutely within the rules of engagement for this particular sport. Why is Iain Dale questioning that? Can he not remember Maggie at the dispatch box? It's meaningless banter and yah boo for the most part. Requiring to have to do it well to be considered by Dale and Co to be a sound PM is like having to undertake a tap dancing audition when you're applying for a professional services job. Pathetic nonsense! Mr Dale should know better than to take this process too seriously.

You might have a laugh as the best-qualified candidate fails to plié to order; but they still get the real job. The preening young principal boy can go swivel. As we say from time to time up here in Manchester.

Tories are looking nasty. Wild-, nay swivel-eyed. The louder they wail the more their toff in-breeding comes to the surface.

Is that an inexcusable personal comment? No. That's just an appropriate way to critique PMQs the way David "end to yah boo politics" Cameron is playing it. This was my take on the real issues of the Rock, yesterday.

Period Drama: Private Equity Lil-lets Pensions Travesty

LOL'll certainly not be buying any more of this product. Hat tip: Unite.

Northern Rock: History Will Vindicate Darling

So says Hopi Sen here. LOL agree 100% with all three predictions.

1. Northern Rock will be a money spinner;
2. Natasha will have time limited effect on Five;
3. Gordon will edge PMQs tomorrow.

Five are going to be on an upward swing anyway because of factors other than the lovely NK so it may be a little difficult to analyse the out turn.

On Nothern Rock old Peston - the former lothario, not short of self-regard - reminded us on Radio 5 Live of this being "his" story, said he agreed with or at least accepted the arguments to be patient until mid January but thought the temporary public ownership should have started then.

So what has changed in the last few weeks for the worse? The share price? Er no. That was already rock bottom. The depositors' lot? Er no. Still sorted. The borrowers' lot? Er no again. The workers' lot? Er no, another few weeks of secure employment before any storms on the horizon.

The Lib Dems? Who cares? The Tories? Well, yes actually, their lot has substantially worsened. They dithered and failed to commit to any coherent stance for longer. Their whining has become more and more nauseating. GOO has got more and more manic, more and more silly, and more and more toff-like.

Clearly the sky has not fallen on anyone's head through the management of events, post cash flow crisis. Clearly households are not really three thousand pounds apiece worse off. We have NR's assets and not just liabilities. Besides it's paper.

The Tories have been crying wolf about this and everything else. The world can now see that. The counter proposal to have let the thing go bump immediately was (a) not what they said at the time and (b) not in the tax payers, depositors, borrowers or workers interests. How would that have benefitted shareholders.

It is George Osborne and David Cameron who have been incompetent. Politically incompetent. And Gordon will punish them tomorrow afternoon for that.

UPDATE: Liam of Cassilis has a different take. Guido has ejaculated prematurely on the same matter.

USA Primaries: Obama Admits Burning Riffs

Six thousand six hundred comments and counting. Clinton team kick Obama for plagiarism. And what comments they are too.

Guido Fawkes: Karl Marx Predicted End is Nigh

Oh dear me. The half-baked prattlings of the right wing libertarian blogger, hedgie, charity commission investigatee, unmitigated self aggrandiser, false prophet, infiltrator of both fascists and SDP, and pernicious tax avoider Paul Staines aka Guido Fawkes aka Mr GuF are, according to the great dramatist himself, to form the new foundation for the decisions of those scaling the towering heights of global capitalism.

This could be the tipping point that Marx was waiting for.

Meanwhile: Speaking of tipping points, a generous hat tip to GuF for pointing his cavalier tifter at Slugger O'Toole and BBC for coverage of the beginnings of the downfall of Paisley Junior. Last time I was in North Antrim the word was the uncharismatic chip off the old block was out of his depth in hot waters over land deals in the Bay which nestles round Giant's Causeway. More anon I'll be bound.

Revolting Tories: Badgering Bullshitter Dave Cam

Country boy - Essex stylee - Iain Dale is actually getting a bit of a kicking over his gung-ho attitude to, unsupported assertions, and superstititious twaddle on badger culling. Including from at least one farmer who is dead set against culls on their land.

As far as I can recall one of the small farmer USPs that gets trotted out all the time to justify extension of subsidies, even an application to join the public sector pay roll, is the old "guardian of the countryside, creator and saviour of animal habitats" one.

Clearly there is some - probably modest - connection between some badgers and some bovine TB, and some cows and some badger Tb for that matter. More so though between land and stock management and more bovine TB.

Spending some time most weeks walking and running over farmland all over these fair isles with my dogs I can assure you Iain that the quality of the boundary fences and stock management varies wildly.

If you have bovines grazing near badger habitats you need very good fences and to stop badgers sharing your cattle's water, rations, straw etc.

Obviously Cam is an upper class twit who is full of bull. His mate George is the same, but with more deliberate mendacity in my view. But culling our dear badgers mercilessly is not the answer to any sensible question.

What Iain Dale's post actually represents is not so much a superstitious attack on badgers so much as a renewal of hostilities from the Davis camp - which included Mr Conway and Mr Dale and Mr Fawkes? among others - on the toffee nosed twittery of Cameron, Osborne, Johnson and the other Cuddly Nu Tory forces.

UPDATE: A reasonably even-handed review of cow-badger relations from wildlife online, also the source of the photo.

Man Libdemologists: Another One Bites the Dust

LOL's coy post of last night about Simon Ashley's frantic attempts at telesales to his own disillusioned councillors was posted ten hours after another of the Lib Dem group had announced their decision to leave and join Manchester Labour. The second to go in 2008.

Cllr Abid Chohan (37) (pictured, courtesy MEN) a solicitor and former Labour member has come back to the fold rather than chasing Cllr Faraz Bhatti and Sajjad Karim MEP into the Tories.

Lib Dem group "leader" Simon Ashley, who has been under-performing for years, is claiming to have "taken the whip away" from Abid ahead of the Sunday High Noon meeting in Cllr Richard Leese's Town Hall office which sealed the deal.

Shortly after petulantly slamming the 'phone down on him - not the greatest persuasion technique in the world.

As Dave Ottewell reports in today's early edition of the Manchester Evening News Cllr Chohan had been selected to sit with Nick Clegg MP at a jolly fundraising dinner this Wednesday Thursday evening in Gorton constituency. And with Abid weighing up his ways out of the miserable Lib Dem group for around three months now Ashley would do well to fall on his sword ahead of Clogg's visit.

The Lib Dems are now in the wonderful position a couple of months out from polling day of not having a clue which of their candidates up for election on 1 May 2008 are planning to switch sides* if and when they win.

And what's more they don't know how many more of the class of 2004 - like Cllr Faraz Bhatti (Con) and Abid Chohan (Lab) - will cross the floor either side of polling day. As we proclaimed at the start of January Bhatti's defection is the gift to Labour that simply keeps right on giving. Both Bhatti and Chohan have until 2011 before they face re-election. Any Lib Dems returned this time who then choose to switch will have until 2012.

* LOL is not prepared at this time to provide a list, let's keep them guessing!

Tory Sleaze: Del Boy Con-way Loses Cherry

Thursday LOL demand Tory Sleazebag Del Boy Conway loses his bonus pay and Friday tea time the BBC report that our requirement has been met unconditionally.

Intercept Evidence: Ashley Like Headless Chicken

Ever since the ambitious young plane spotter Cllr Faraz Bhatti booked a room and started a kissy kissy love in with Dave Cameron's Conservatives poor old Manchester Lib Dem "leader" Simon Ashley has worn a worried frown rather than his more customary addled village idiot grin.

Intercept evidence now reaching LOL finds Simple Simon ringing round one or two or three or four of his wandering flock - the ones considered to be the biggest flight risk - seeking their expressions of fealty. Any who will not instantly kiss his ring, metaphorically speaking, find the 'phone slammed down on them.

Big questions are doing Lib Dem rounds on Ashley's choice of cold calls. The question is not "Why Me?" among the waverers he does identify. But "Why Not Me?" among those he has missed. "Doesn't he care if I leave?" they implore.

When, or if, Cllr John Leech MP gives up his council fiefdom the two who remain there will become a definite flight risk. Shameless Norm and Semi Tone are both Labourites at heart and will very likely look upon the newly elected Councillor Hacking as the Officer material to replace the perennial NCO Leech.

Method to Madness: Tory Trot Cross Makes Sense

If revolting Tories are to "take to the streets" as suggested by one of GuF's commentators it does explain how the crossing of a revolutionary communist SWP Councillor to the Tories is so welcome in Tower Hamlets Conservative circles. The "webel" is Bengali too as it goes, so may know a thing or too about Sharia Law. Which is the basis of the ever so reliable Mail on Sunday story GuF takes so seriously.

Watch out for Tory Workers Party stalls on a high street near you, the launch of the new Tory Worker newspaper, and a proliferation of special interest groups such as Eats Shoots and Leaves-esque "Fighting Unions Campaign", plus "Toff War Against Terror" and "Conservatives against Climate Change" perhaps?

Nasty Party: Funny Game of Doctors and Nurses

Kevin Maguire carries on the good fight against the wallpaper heir, future Baronet and former Buller Bully Boy Sir George GOO Osborne:

George Osborne has appalled fellow Tories with a sick jibe about another shadow chancellor.
Moderates in the party revere Iain Macleod, who suffered a heart attack just weeks after entering the Treasury when Ted Heath became PM in June 1970.
But that did not stop Osborne making fun of him at an event organised by the Policy Exchange think-tank.
The shadow chancellor said: "I'm a great admirer of Iain Macleod but I'm not planning to die within a month of becoming Chancellor of the Exchequer."
It is not the first time Osborne, who changed his first name from Gideon to sound less posh, has caused massive offence.
The wallpaper firm heir branded Gordon Brown "autistic" at the Tory party conference two years ago.

The Tories are always at this sort of thing with Iain Dale throwing about mental health diagnoses like confetti.

As Iain the patient argued Diabetes Can Be Beaten. The question is: Can Tory joshing and gybing based on medical complaints and amateur diagnoses be shown the road too?

Mr Fawkes: Spintistics and Bushwhackanomics

Right wing blogger Paul Staines aka Guido Fawkes aka Mr GuF had a go at Newsnight this morning for wonky economic statistics. But only yesterday GuF was reporting a repossessions surge in the UK. Thing is the rate of these in the UK has doubled since early 2005. But in the USA they have gone up by a humungous factor to 2 million, ours are at 27,000.

Our rate is proportionately one fourteenth of that under Bushwhackanomics. Tragic though repossession is for investors or residents the UK has gone from "not that many" to "a few more"? But GuF likes Bushian economics?

My oh my! Mr GuF has reminded us about Tory repossessions. And he's confirmed that, like Dubya, Tories in general and right wing GuFsters in particular stand for cutting tax on the rich and crucifying the poor.

Perhaps next time he'll compare with the peak repossessions rate of Tory times, which I can tell him was 333% of recent figures. Perhaps he can total the last ten years of Tories and compare that with the first ten of Labour? Perhaps he can consider how these days many of the repossessions are from unfortunate rentiers who get in too deep?

Absolutely Fabulous: Tories Nick One From Respect

Ted Jeory at the East London Advertiser has a corker. Particularly as this one is a revolutionary socialist of the SWP.

Amazing! I was speculating ten months ago - towards the end of this - about how Respect would manage if they had the opportunity to form an opposition in Tower Hamlets with the Tories ... :

"Respect in Tower Hamlets also need to realise that grown up electoral politics is not quite like a Students Union. When you roll up with a minority motion the main party will generally speaking spike it and deal with their own business. Which may not mean they disagree with that motion. In a year or two Respect could perhaps form a Coalition with the Tories and be in the box seat themselves. I look forward to the revolutionary explanation for that if it happens."

BREAKING: Ken Agrees to Jasper Gardening Leave

Ken Livingstone has suspended his Senior Race Advisor Lee Jasper at the embattled battler's own request. So that he can clear his name. Silly Man Gilligan will be dancing in the streets. One less watermelon smile on the block, eh Boris?

Meanwhile the eminent psychiatrist Iain Dale throws around mental diagnoses like confetti. Seems he's backing the sleazy serial adulterer, foot in mouth specialist, fibber, and aider and abetter of the criminalist toff Guppy for the Mayor's job.

This is because allegedly Boris unites people. Presumably in uncontrollable laughter at the decision of Dave and George to stick up a buffoon to run the second greatest city in the world.

UPDATE: Sunday 10:55 am, Have corrected the Dale link, sorry. There is a new spoof site also here.

Bozo Johnson MP: Caught Fibbing on the Underground

Cheeky chappy Boris Johnson has done well to escape with a clip round the ear from the conductor for serious mendacity on youth crime on London Transport.

Boris suggests that naughty youth should have their free travel taken away from them temporarily or permanently according to the seriousness of their misdemeanours. That is EXACTLY WHAT HAPPENS under his rival Ken Livingstone. It is therefore a marvel that Channel 4's Factcheck gives his claims to the contrary just 60% (3.0 of a possible 5.0) for mendacity.

Is the bumbling and muttering Johnson an incompetent fool? Or is he a lying, cheating, dissembling Tory Buller Boy Buffoon. You decide.

Conway: Go To Jail, Do Not Pass GO or Collect £13,000

The continued rewarding of Derek Conway with £13,000 "extras" for his honourable chairing of meetings is absolutely disgraceful. We must stop this by popular acclaim. And stop him getting the maximum resettlement and pensions amount. Send him and his co-conspirators to jail, not to easy street.

Cllr Simon Ashley: Same Old Tired Old Deja Vu, Again

Today we have a disappointing response to Manchester's budget consultation. Perhaps people are reasonably content? Perhaps the local and regional media - such as the Manchester Evening News - didn't provide enough build up? Perhaps opposition politicians have poisoned everyone with misery and cynicism?

Whichever it is, we get the same old muttering from Lib Dem leader Simon Ashley. Who presumably knew all about the consultation and didn't even attempt to get his own minions to take part. Ashley is quite frankly hopeless.

Just look at Liverpool where the Lib Dem leadership are, believe it or not, twice as good as Ashley and his crew.

See them propping up the national table for financial management. See them getting the wooden spoon as the worst council of the lot. See them having less than one million pounds in reserves. Which must be about one day's worth of the city's budget. Which is not adequate by anyone's standards.

Cllr John McLeech MP: Wake Me Up Before You Go Go

Cheers to The Daily Pundit for the above CT scan of Buff and Leech and Vultan in various stages of arousal at Clogg's offering at PMQs. That was - purely serendipitously - about mind numbing drugs. Which is a serious issue of course.

Cloggy could do with some help with hair trigger problems. He's got up in the house with only one third data to hand. Why would he do that?

Not quite as bad as Cllr John Leech MP claiming to have "carried out" a constituency wide health survey. Before rather pathetic survey leaflets were even fully distributed. Never mind the usual half a dozen responses in.

The above dead on his seat look is absolutely typical for Mr Leech. Still sleeping off Roy of the Rovers exertions for the McParliamentary football team.

The Daily Pundit also has a mysterious Valentine for Letwin and Clogg and news that, in Belize elections, "Lord" Cashpoint is sportingly batting for both sides.

Whacko Waterson: Family Get Ducks in a Line

I'm not sure I'd have called this one "cleared". I think I'd have said Dave Cameron's mate has rather escaped by knocking his family's stories into shape like a proper authoritarian.

Nigel Waterson says he is going to complain about "heavy handed policing" which in one of those brilliant accidents of symmetry is more-or-less what he was accused of himself.

There are two ways for the story to go now. One, most likely, all the complaints and the like are quietly dropped, quite soon. Two, Nigel Waterson is found to have been completely wronged by the powers that be. Smoke without fire. Nothing to see here. Teenagers who said "and it isn't the first time" found to have been wrong several times over. Hurrah.

Faraz "Buzz" Bhatti's formal complaint of police heavy handedness has it seems evaporated. This was from when he was cautioned recently for inappropriate behaviour with his girlfriend at a carpark/lover's lane well known for dogging, car rocking and er, plane spotting.

Strangely enough the itinerant soul, who famously followed Tony Lit, Gurchuran Singh and Sajjad Karim into David Cameron's Conservatives, and is sadly parted company from wife and three kids at the "address of convenience" he uses for elections, has decided that discretion may be the better part of valour on this one. His pranks are already severely trying for the "personal vote" that is his excuse for not letting the electorate decide whether they want a Tory councillor, or not.

Iain Dale would appear to have turned off comments, links and the like on his strange assertion that Waterson has "been cleared".

Brown 'Kulturkampf'? Dale, Heffer, Vaizey Philistines?

Sorry to obsess people. But I can't let Mr Dale's easy recourse to lazy epithets pass without ... joining in.

Funnily enough it is often the "modernity" that Heffer, Vaizey and Dale label as Stalinist or Kulturkamph and actively affect to despise - rather as Stalin and Hitler did with their demands for fascist realism - that washes its own face. Artists like Gormley, Emin and Hirst are doing fine thank you very much - and the traditional figurative and "high arts" conservatives like - such as Wagner's Ring which Hitler famously kissed - that needs the public gravy.

A huge proportion of the funding from the public purse goes to those high arts and very little relatively to the new expression that is the lifeblood of our world beating creative industries. Not lifeblood directly necessarily. But through a perfectly invidious inspiration for those industries. Including architecture, advertising, music, film and television.

Personally as someone with an interest and some appreciation across the full gamut from high to low and old to new and popular to unpopular I don't think the balance is too bad at the moment but that if anything the "old school" arts are getting too much.

Heffer is a porcine Philistine and probably has little idea of where the balance of funding is these days. Are Dale and Vaizey Philistines too?

Iain Dale: DFID Pull Plonker With Viral

Ha ha ha. Ho ho ho. Happy Valentines! Iain Dale has posted an EXCLUSIVE on how DFID have made a video for Valentines that will "never be seen". And posted that video! Chump!



Seriously though, commissioned "publications" don't always get passed for formal distribution. Clearly Doughty Street would run virtually anything, but others have higher standards. This sort of thing happens under both parties of government. Some years ago under Maggie Thatcher's vile regime Manchester City Council commissioned a video about upcoming Job Creation plans.

Maggie "Milk Snatcher" Thatcher put this into reverse with a great axe taken to northern town halls, job freezes and cuts. Although the Manchester Soviet managed to avoid compulsory redundancies, the video had to be scrapped.

The presenter as I recall spent much of his time "on his bike" taking Norman Tebbit's advice. If I can get hold of a copy I'll get it published.

Bashing the Bishop?: Sunny Bashes BBC Instead

Sunny at Pickled Politics is peeved at BBC Coverage of the Arch Bish Mish on Sharia. He's right. They fell for it all hook line and sinker. One of the dangers of 24/7 news and evolving stories. Sometimes they edit the idiocy out as things settle down. On this one they went with the flow and showed little if any sign of having read the speech.

Not sure what Sunny would make of the coverage at Ummah Pulse. The ABC is seen as in cahoots with various liberal reformists UP don't much like. Interesting post. Interesting comments.

Auto Cue Geddon: Idea Whose Time Has Passed?

Iain Dale asks whether the day of the autocue is passed. And he wants speaking tips. So here goes ...

Seven Habits of Successful Speech Makers

First, write an hour-long speech which is mostly style and with little substance, with that being the sort of old time dog whistles that your audience love.

Second, re-work and re-work and re-work it and learn it verbatim until you have it off pat.

Third, spin only that you are going to speak WITHOUT NOTES. There is no content in the speech anyway, so, yes, spin that it'll be delivered without notes - more or less.

Fourth, make sure you point out you're not using notes at least a couple of times near the top.

Fifth, deliver speech and enjoy the media adulation that despite going into the conference hall naked you have worked your cock and bull off delivering the thing WITHOUT NOTES.

Six, carelessly leave a couple of pages of scribble in camera view and discard them on stage. NB You are a "memory man" so try to remember not to scribble these on the back of your 100% scripted text that you have just spewed out verbatim.

Seven, similarly make sure there are no copies of the whole thing lying around. Discovery of these will blow the idea that you have actually extemporised from a couple of sides of scribble. Or that "mistakes" in fact and syntax are in the heat of the moment. If you are found out on your one spinning point: "Without notes", the lack of substance will become evident.

I've seen Peter Hain making a few speeches in my time. Without notes or autocue and with. In the former cases he has never failed to make a joke about "no heckling" and self aggrandise about his armed Special Branch officers. And he usually drifts or indeed lurches off message rather easily.

While Guido continues to think he single handedly scuppered Mr Hain's deputy leadership challenge I remember a pre-emptive undermining of his prospects at the 2005 Brighton Conference.

There was his own inability to use either of the screens - of the type used to hide himself by a shy future PM in launching his campaign - without moving his whole head, neck, torso, body 45 degrees west or east like the Thunderbirds puppet he inspired (top). But beyond this the script seemed, from his delivery at least, to be alternately stalling and racing.

Lovely work from Gordon's people I thought at the time. You can have all the ostentatious armed body guards you want and still get mugged at the lectern.

Lib Dem Clayton Barbarism: Dropping Historic Cinema

Dave Ottewell's politics are clear. He doesn't want the Lib Dem councillor Mark Clayton's bessie mate to knock down the third oldest cinema in the country. It would be extraordinarily sad.

Clayton, the greyhound kicker, is intimately involved with the developer. He lists the cinema address and his "former" business relationship in his Register of Members' Interests entry. Along with dozens of addresses owned by his "former' associate, and a few - including Clayton House on Piccadilly - that he owns himself. Under challenge he admitted - to the Northenden Civic Society - that, contrary to his declaration, he works for and with the developer still.

Another Lib Dem, presumably ignorant of Clayton's involvement, has been continually complaining about the flyposting and decay. And a third Lib Dem son-of-a-gun turned a blind eye to the flyposting on this cinema for the venue he used to manage. Before that is he left - after 12 months suspension - under a cloud of financial scandal.

The local freesheet, and the regional Manchester Evening News had the story about this councillor who was simultaneously claiming credit for stopping flyposters and failing to prevent promoters at his own building from being the worst of them all. But for some reason best known to themselves they did not run the story, despite mentions in the Council chamber.

They also did not cover the man's departure from this highly paid job following long time suspension over an alleged tax fiddle. What's up with our press?

No doubt, despite all their deep personal interest and involvement the Lib Dems will try to make hay. Personally, I see no good reason to let the developer proceed with this barbarism. Let's tell Clayton's Lib Dem wreckers to GTF. The MEN should be campaigning against this proposal - even if the planners agree to desecration. Clayton's hyenas would probably just sell the site on for a huge profit if they do get planning.

It is not inevitable that an historic cinema should be dropped unceremoniously. It is Lib Dem councillor Mark Clayton's developer mate taking the piss. That's all. As he will with the Tatton Arms also. Five years from now he'll be pulling that down too. They must be stopped from this hypocritical behaviour.

Please expose him now Dave. Manchester Evening News. Run a campaign. Make him sell it for 50p or thereabouts. As a preservation project .. as he bought it.

Conservative Resistance: Those Old Habits Die Hard

Seventy Five Percent of Conservatives choosing to take part in poll on Conservativehome.com would not want Helen Grant, selected to replace Anne Widdecombe in Maidstone and the Weald; Sajjad Karim, top-listed in the NW MEP list; or Tony Lit, 3rd placed candidate for David Cameron's Conservatives in Ealing Southall to have been selected as they were.
Grant had helped Labour and only just joined, Karim had been a Lib Dem MEP but defected, Lit was seen hob nobbling with Tony Blair moments before his career move. There is a suggestion in comments that the fact that high profile Johnny-come-latelies are BME increased the animosity to fast-tracking.

David Davis Sleaze Allegations: GuF Brings Home Bacon

Paul Staines aka hammy blogger Guido Fawkes aka Mr GuF has invented a piggy index for politicians. Trouble is he immediately applies it in a wholly biased way - giving peers a fulsome three little piggies for maxxing their expenses, with the story he links to appearing to say these were legitimate claims, while giving David Davis a mere one little piggy for a £20,000 leadership donation laundered by two of his litter of cronies, plus a similar sum through his own and, er, Derek Conway's declarations. Or was it the same money tumbling through the laundry?

Once again it is a case of well done to the boy Mann! As it goes the Independent on Sunday's investigation points out more than Guido lets on. That Davis and indeed our old friend the disgraced Del Boy Conway made parallel/repeat declarations to those of the jobsworth cronies.

All good clean fun from David Davis. The man who made [insert]many complaints against Peter Hain, though it was his near namesake the nonentity David Davies who made the [/insert] formal complaints about Peter Hain. And who But Davis has perhaps spat out the most holier than thou sound bites on such matters.

These donations via MPs Mitchell, Herbert and Conway were of course part of the "defeat from the jaws of victory" campaign coordinated by Tory Boy Blogger Iain Dale and supported by GuF himself. Mr Dale is very fond of reminiscing about how very prim and proper that campaign was. With every last thing declared properly. Obviously not! To turn Mr Davis' own rhetoric on himself: Davis appears to make a liar out of poor Dale.

FOOTNOTE: For some strange reason Staines/Fawkes/GuF includes an attack on the broadcaster Jeremy Paxman within his round up of alleged politician excess. Now why would that be? Has GuF got some kind of a problem with Newsnight or something?

UNDERFOOT NOTE: Well worth dragging up all the Basher Davis references in Guido's archive at this point. 114 - count 'em. Including Davis' memorable rebuke that Cameron: "Couldn't run a bath". Ho ho ho. Oink oink oink.

Guido Fawkes: Continuously Unprofessional Scoundrel

GuF has thankfully not blogged the Sharia-phobia thing like Iain and the others. Instead he continues to claim the concept of "snouts in the trough" for himself.

His bar chart - allegedly comparing food costs in different circumstances - is to his usual poor standard. Every one of the bars is calculated on a different basis. The lowest - the school kids one - is ingredients only cost. Most of the others are some combination of ingredients plus labour costs plus overheads. The MP's one - unlike all the others - is a per diem. The cost of buying a free choice of meal(s) and drinks from capitalists in one of the most expensive areas of one of the most expensive cities in the world.

Which is not to say MP exes should not be scrutinised. But £20 is not an untypical per diem for London. In fact 15 years ago we used to give musicians and artistes around £15 pd in London. With the blessing of the tax man.

Comparing unlike with unlike like this is just ridiculous GuF. You know that. You are not dim. So stop making a meal of things.

Archbishop: Who Will Rid Us of This ID-iotic Blogger?

Don't think Iain Dale is wilfully misunderstanding or misrepresenting the Archbishop of Canterbury as are some of his readers, and other commentators. But Iain is completely and utterly wrong.

The status of "Sharia Law" in this context is about the same as going to a Parish Priest or a Rabbi or a secular mediating body like Relate to sort out your relationship.

Binding if both parties agree before, during and afterward.

Meaningless and utterly trumped by the law of the land if they do not.

Less binding than Judge Judy. Such interpretation and guidance is already in widespread practice . . .

In mosques, in churches, in synagogues and in counselling and mediation offices.

EXCLUSIVE: Spring Chicken Plus Over Ready Turkey?

McCain's now the shoo-in oven ready turkey for the Republicans. But who should be his running mate? Iain Dale wonders aloud about McCain's 96-year-old mum (joke) but doesn't seem to have a clue where Magoo needs to look. Not Romney, not Huckerbee, not Quayle.

There was a good interview with Republican and Democratic pundits on BBC last night. The former suggesting McCain will do well to sign up a young charismatic running mate to counter any Obama effect and/or milk the new young enthusiasm for politics. The latter - a Clinton adviser - expected his woman to win through clearly on the super delegates if nothing else.

[Speculation]Here's a thought. Would a young-ish charismatic-ish black woman be just the ticket to counter either Clinton or Obama or both? Wonder what Condi has planned for the fall? Remember, you read it here first.[/Speculation]

Computer Age: Police Still Lose Paper Records Shock

You wait for a data loss story for weeks, and five come along at once. David Ottewell makes an anti-computerised data scoop today out of four cases of carelessness over paper records and just one of digital data loss. In each case the lost or mislaid data was recovered, no harm done.

It's a good set of stories. Though I'm not sure Tory hyperventilation on iD cards or breathless comparison with 25M records on CD-ROMs is balanced and proportionate. These are very much old school data losses of the kind that Life on Mars might have experienced almost daily.

The famous five: Crime Data 1 - Crime Data 2 - Crime Data 3 - Insurance Data -
Lib Dem Council Data. Only the last - an unencrypted data stick, reaching a Tory councillor by uncertain means - is digital.

iD Cards? I'm agin 'em. But sorry, these aren't a compelling case against them.

Bashing the Bishop: Murder in Cathedral Controversy

Great spot from Dave Ottewell on his MEN blog.

Boris Pasty Knack: Following Pasternak's Internal Exile?

Gilligan is everywhere. But, asks Tom Watson MP, where is Boris? Banished to Henley with his seditious twittery, for the common good of Eton Buller Man?

Andrew Gilligan: Boris's Little Helper With More Smears

Hilariously Andrew Gilligan, who is a major Boris cheer leader and Ken detractor, has variously had Johnson for an Editor or Proprietor but is slagging off various journalists and organisations for supporting Ken and not supporting Boris. And they've allegedly had work off Ken. Ha ha ha. There will no longer have to be much casting around for examples of psychological projection or humbuggery now will there? Gilligan is Silly-Man.

Meanwhile the GLA Labour Group has a new web look designed and built by Labour blogger Jon Worth. Rather than the clutz who did Guido's. Strange that.

John Leech Nailed, Again: More Good News for Christie

Amanda Crook of the Manchester Evening News has great news today. Cllr John Leech claimed, without a single shred of evidence or any factual basis, that The Christie Hospital was threatened with closure, forming a key part of his 2005 campaign. It is to expand in a £35M development.

Leech's spurious campaign even involved distribution of Hoax Closure leaflets to vulnerable chemo- and radio- therapy patients, most of whom were not voters in the constituency. Even though he was told he was wrong in no uncertain terms, before a single of his leaflets were printed, he pushed on regardless. He continually relies on "50 Doctors" or "60 Doctors" having signed a petition. But amazingly the document was (a) not a petition, (b) did not claim a closure threat, and (c) was not signed by anyone. Isn't the Freedom of Information Act a wonderful thing?

Since Leech's spurious campaign there has been announcement after announcement of good news and positivity for Christie.

The fashion among Leech's cronies and supporters has been to say that a campaign on which Leech led two glossy leaflets was nothing. Irrelevant to the result. The facts contradict this claim. In a recent letter to the South Manchester Reporter the author Cath Stanicliffe claimed that she knew instantly that the Christie claim was "twaddle". Many others were not so astute. And what's more Mr Leech won't own up to this obvious twaddle of his.

Without a shred of shame or an ounce of apology Leech has grabbed onto the shirt tails of every announcement and still claims to this day that he was right to launch the campaign. Even though it was based on a complete fiction. He will no doubt try to spin this latest major investment as the result of his good works.

LOL cannot get corrobation for a tip off from Lib Dem insiders that Leech has been trying to get his hands on a Health portfolio. This is to continue with his diversionary cover-up for a shameless hospital hoax. Sadly, though he makes an impression - busy-doing-nothing - Leech's busy-ness is mostly party political campaigning rather than of any value whatsoever to his constituents. I hope I'm never one of them.

Manchester Super Casino: It's Official "Rien Ne Va Plus"

Breaking news from BBC Online. No great surprise there. The $300M question being what on earth are Brown and Blears going to come up with by way of alternative regeneration for East Manchester with two to three thousand direct and accessible jobs with the creators of the jobs PAYING, via section 106 and other routes, for the privilege.

Lib Dem group leader "Simple" Simon Ashley who is hanging on by the skin of his teeth despite desperate debacle after desperate debacle will continue to pretend he was backing the thing.

He did not fulfil his promise to deliver the votes of the Lib Dem party in Westminster and couldn't even sway his old buddy Rev Cllr John "Fire and Brimstone" Leech MP.

Leech is perhaps best known outside Chorlton Park for his prowess in various modern languages. Conversational Exaggeration, strong reading and writing of Welsh, fluent Fibbery, and native Hoax.

Mr Ashley is among a number of Lib Dem councillors who have taken the Leech shilling in a high staff turnover milieu since 2005. No incompetent relatives, just incompetent cronies. Though looking at the town hall Register of Members Interests you wouldn't see it all that laid out in plain view.

Housey Housey: Another Game of Family Fortunes

Mr Dale is getting quite a bit of stick for sticking up for the Winterton's tax avoidance and "Family Fortunes" game.

The Wintertons do not have to push the envelope like this whatever their advisers may say. As well as being in the lowest quartile (even decile) on exes claimed they are in the lowest quartile on attendance etc.

The word up here in the NW is that they mostly stay in Cheshire kissing babies and opening supermarkets and making ill-advised jokes about cockle pickers at rugby dinners. Not to mention presenting prizes at races and fun runs. Which is where Tarus (10k Champ) and myself and dogs (5k Champs) met old Sir Nick in summer 2006.

Quite a good way to meet and greet "enemy" MPs as it goes. Also bagged Ken Clarke that way.

UPDATE: Swear blogger Devil's Kitchen would string them up. (PG)

The Wilson Doctrine: What Is The Scope of It?

With that snide friend of Con-way David Davis accusing the Prime Minister of lying we really could do with a definition of "The Wilson Doctrine" as opposed to "The Wilson Protocol". The Times had a go - before Davis started his slanders - and decided that bugging the meeting(s) concerned did not break the doctrine.

Labour Party: Barrister Volunteers for Money Job

Jack Dromey is a good fella. But I welcome a grassroots challenge for the job of Labour Party Treasurer from Barrister Mark McDonald. Although Mr Dromey could almost certainly marshal the votes to hold on he might see an opportunity to make a sharp exit. To Wolverhampton or wherever. He is probably planning that anyway. Depends whether the brothers and sisters want to hold on to the role.

Bad Form: Cllr John Leech MP Pontificates

There is a local interest angle on this expenses sleaze. Manchester Withington residents will have been ever so pleased to see Cllr John Leech MP on regional TV as the Con-way row broke pontificating, as only a Minister's son or a Pope could, and confirming his own high standards on expenses and the like.

Some might argue that by helping himself to three years of Councillor allowances, almost £50,000, less tax at 40% presumably - rather like Derek Conway who took four years' worth out of Gateshead I believe while representing a Midlands seat - and using his 2006 and 2007 Parliamentary Reports to play politics ... he was not qualified to cast the first stone on probity.

And that making his inaccessible office into a Lib Dem hoarding, and employing political hacks, and printing political leaflets in the back room, and taking paid adverts in those political leaflets, and refusing to be civil to anyone involved with any other party wanting advice, information or support were not the behaviours of the pure as the driven snow.

Then there's the less clear-cut matter of refusing to pay back campaign support that was allegedly supposed to be loans, and his over-spending so transparently in the 2005 campaign, and all that ... once again the biblical instance is apt. Why cast the first stone on probity and risk being hoist by his own petard?

Bad Form: Cameron is Dithery, Weak and Late

Iain Dale claims that Dave has seized the transparency agenda. But from my point of view DC's response to the scandalous "Family Fortunes" played by Del Boy Con-way is (a) dithery; (b) weak; and (c) late.

Why dithery? Well, following his dither on Con-way's carpeting from the Con-servatives, he announced reports from front benchers starting 1 April 2008. In other words the end of Q1 of the current year. In effect he's been got at allowed that to slip slide along to the end of Q2. Pathetic! As Dale himself might harrumph.

Why weak? Well, apart from Cameron's collapse over when it starts it's front bench only and so would not have caught Conway at it. It also would not have spotted the thoroughly legal but highly immoral wheeze of the Winterton's in renting a flat they kind of own off a Trust in favour of their children. In other words giving their children tax payers' money.

Why late? Well, we've touched on the six month delay to the first reports under this scheme, and on the dither. But Cam's interview indicated the Con-servative world view when it comes to expenses. That is that as Tory MPs think their wages are so very low - and they may have a point, but that's the deal they contracted to - they simply help themselves to whatever they choose to squeeze out of a rather liberal and rather flakey expenses system.

He should have dealt with that surely as soon as he had this Damascus moment? Or even perhaps when in May 2007 the conduct of Derek Conway MP was first reported by the Times and to the Standards Commissioner.

Guido: Cons 13 Times More Fraud than UB40s

Utter Guff from Guido. But using his sums Tory MPs are just over 13 times more likely to be cautioned or prosecuted for expenses fraud than benefits claimants.

Davis and Dale: Delboy's Old Mates Run Cover

When he's not reviewing fancy fish and chip shops Iain Dale is clucking manfully about terrorist-tap-gate.

Not only did these officials (and/or senior police officers) not tell a minister when they discovered an MP was being tapped - collaterally presumably - but they did tell an opposition mimicster instead.

That helpful soul says he sent a warning - by way of a riddle - six weeks ago to No 10. We're told it didn't arrive. Was it even sent? By what means? Does David Davis not have access to a 'phone and a 'phone number for the government?

Apart from anything else Davis is providing covering fire for the Con-party and Con-way over his profligate game of Family Fortunes.

Facebook Group: Eats, Shoots and Leaves

Wonder if there have been any mistaken joiners to this group? Even the full group intro, never mind the title, could appeal to both "sides".

George Osborne: Condemns Grasping Prole Conway

Good to see the rakish young blade, wallpaper heir, mendacious shadow minister, Buller Boy and Tatton toff Sir George Osborne apologising for Tory sleaze.

Conway's trade, don't you know? A grasping prole.

Wifey wouldn't work for me says GOO. Oh no. Ha ha ha. Couldn't afford her!

Kids too young. Not to mention completely and utterly feral. Blah de blah.

Pretty rich isn't it when donations of almost £500,000 are received by Osborne indirectly in a single year. And from parties very interested in his future policy decisions.
But were not linked to GOO either at the Electoral Commission or in the Register of Members Interests? Conway should get together with some other ruffians and scrag the weaselly toff.

The Polls, The Polls: Ringing the Changes

It has been amusing to watch Iain Dale's coverage of Opinion Polls since he swore himself off covering every one of them. Last June that was. He broke his promise after just fourteen hours. Hey ho. "Pie crust promises", as Ms Mary Poppins might have it, "Easily made, easily broken".

Iain is off somewhere in the developing world. In a failed state where gun deaths are such a commonplace that having them running 50% above the current violence death toll in Kenya does not merit any comment. But it's a shame he isn't covering the latest Ipsos MORI poll. That was carried out around ten days ago now. Giving Labour a 1% lead from 2,000 face to face interviews. NB Fieldwork before the curtain opened on the pantomime of Derek Conway's embezzlement.

Strangely, with fieldwork after the quantum of Conway shameless thievery began to become apparent, with Dave dithering like a two-headed donkey (tm GuF) the Tory ICM numbers improved to a 5% lead.

Mike Smithson at Political Betting suggests that the polled respondents are so fickle and shallow that if Dave's on the telly - good or bad, even dithering pathetically on the great Delboy robbery - his score goes up.

Rochdale Lib Dem Meltdown: Like Porn Occifer?

Former Manchester councillor and latterly Rochdale and Sedgefield spin doctor David Hennigan apparently no longer works for Rochdale's Lib Dem Group. Probably getting difficult as the cracks began to appear in his other boss's relationship with that particular Rochdale Brains Trust.

The word on the streets is that Hennigan was all set to resign from Paul Rowen MP's employ also. There was a job offer. But sadly cut off in its prime.

Dave will be glad he doesn't have to spin his way out of this one. In fact it looks like they'll forget the spin cycle and hang the councillor concerned out to dry. Him being on the standards committee and all.

UPDATE: Thanks to comments stating that Mr Hennigan is back with the Lib Dem group as well as working for Paul Rowen MP. And that Cllr Elwyn Watkins the PPC for Oldham East and Saddleworth is on record sticking up for the allegedly drunken allegedly porno councillor.

Desperate Tories: Trying to Bury Conway News?

At last a story from a Tory about goings on in a prison cell near you. But alas not from Iain Dale's bessie Derek Conway who is going out of way to state that he doesn't think he "ripped anyone off" by passing loads of money to relatives and their mates while getting no work back.

Instead Iain Dale has his M & S XXLs in a twist over the bugging of Shafiq Khan MP. This occurred allegedly during a routine prison visit to a constituent who happens to be a USA target for extradition to face terror charges.

Confident Mr Dale claims there can only be four explanations and asks "which is it?" Mathematics and logic are not his best subjects however. Before any comments were published I came up with:

5. It was not authorised by the head of MI5 OR by a politician
6. The bugging was not carried out by a UK agency
7. It did not happen

Other comments have added still more possibilities. Including the fact that the bugging of the alleged other gentleman on the tape was authorised but the possibility of a prison visit from an MP was not factored in or not excluded.

What I have learnt from Iain Dale today: When you state that there are only X possibilities you'd better be very sure about that.

The story goes that David Davis somehow found out about this - he was keen to point out this was NOT from the horses mouth - and that he sent a warning letter to Number 10.

I'll need to check the letter text - but isn't it the case that Tories were spinning a letter which said something quite specific, that the letter Davis released was actually quite generic, and that Number 10 said they hadn't had a letter saying the specific thing?

UPDATE: The letter did not specify that a Labour MP was involved. Given the source that was not the first thing anyone who received such a letter would think of. Why would David Davis "send" a riddle to Gordon Brown? Because he's a complete "Mulholland" perhaps? Another mate of Conway. Text: Telegraph.

If a letter was this important one would want proof of posting or other dispatch and some form of a receipt for safe passage. Wouldn't you? Presumably Davis has that? Or did he follow the Duncan Borrowman example and use a second class stamp from a local post box?

Right Wing Rags: Recycled Rubbish Over and Over Again

What complete and utter rubbish! Originally from the Telegraph, now landfilled on an FT-blog.

Horse Play: "Beware of ..." Signs on the Way Out?

Yesterday we took our dogs on a bracing walk in the Peak, along the Roaches. Snow, hail, wind, mud, wetness and towards the end of the six miles just a little winter sun. All the dogs, born to hunt, ran around "off piste" and picked up some gritty grazes.

But Jim excelled himself getting a gash to the bone from an arsey horse.

Usefully at the exit end to the field in question - crossed by a public footpath - there was an exhortation to keep dogs on leads and not to feed the horses. Clearly the former to save the dogs from vicious equines. Two tiny hairy ponies and a big black horse looked on sympathetically as the chestnut mare did her nowty thing.

Jim had to have a general anaesthetic and some serious stitches. We may also have to start saving up to have a troublesome "knocked up" toe removed.

The old "Beware of" sign spied on the way out of a field is a regular feature of country walking. Fortunately, where they say "Bull", they are not always accurate.

Guido Fawkes: Libertarian Anarcho GuF Blogger Bully

The libertarian right wing blogger Paul Staines aka Guido Fawkes aka Mr GuF is threatening fellow blogger Tim Ireland/Bloggerheads with legals. Over the apparently completely and utterly true observation that GuF is unprofessional in one of various obvious ways.

Yes Tim, GuF steals images and stories. Yes, he runs stories that are plain idiotic. Yes, he runs stories that are simply not true. Yes, he runs ropey stories that he changes repeatedly by way of U-Turns but without annotation. Yes, he either does not understand or ignores the law of defamation. But yes, he threatens bloggers with court action at a drop of his flaccid hat.

Ironically GuF is attacking one of the heroes of the resistance to Schillings and Alisher Creosotemanov. GuF is behaving like the kleptocrats and liberty-attackers he says he despises.

GuF spent a week or so threatening me with legals back in 2007. The stuff he demanded was removed is still up and never came down. GuF's all mouth and no trousers. Please back Tim on this one with a story and link on your blog.

Derek Conway: Must Go Now, Cannot Get Away With It

How can we as taxpayers and citizens stop the MP dubbed an embezzler - for obvious reasons - by Frank Field MP getting a maximum "resettlement" pay out when he gives up being an MP and being able to start taking a generous index-linked pension to boot.

The disgraced Old Bexley and Sidcup MP Derek Conway has had 20 years, in two stints, taking the piss in the Houses of Parliament. This moves him into pension heaven. Is there any way we can avoid this?

Ideally he and any co-conspirators: Wifey, Freddy, Henry, Henry's boyf; should GO TO JAIL.

If possible all pension bets should be off completely. As a chronic embezzler Conway MUST be penalized a tad more than ten day's suspension and withdrawal of the whip. More too than Jail.

The man is around 55. He could be trousering a huge pension from the British taxpayer he has cheated for decades. His family have ALREADY HAD THE PENSION out of the system. How about this for starters:

Immediately sack him as an MP;
Immediately demand a refund of the £80,000 ish paid to his sons, any money to their partners, and if overpaid or underworked the lion's share of the wife's salary etc too;
Take this off his salary and on costs retrospectively;
Taking him back at least a year;
So he's before the 20-year pension heaven.

That'd be something. Letting him continue as an MP is ridiculous. Letting him pick up maximum resettlement and pensions plus his wife's pension is also ridiculous. The pair of them have conspired to rip us all offer. The Conway Family must not prosper from this.

Let's make it Time and the Conways in an uncomfortable prison. Followed by disgrace and all bets off on pensions and benefits.

Guido Fawkes: The Bookies' Friend Naps Leslie to Fail

Mr GuF is advising his record number of muppets and readers to vote against one Mr Leslie being on the ballot paper when East Hull Labour Party select a candidate to take over the seat from John Prescott.

GuF might just be right when it comes to David Prescott, Prezza's son, but on Leslie he is way off the money. Full analysis soon. But Leslie will certainly be on the slip. And even now Prezza Jnr could make it.

Con-way Parallels: More Like Old School Tory Felony

Iain Dale covers the announcement by his bessie mate Derek Conway MP that he will not be contesting the next election. We can only hope that he'll still be in jail then and there will be a by-election before too long in Bexley Heath and Sidcup.

In justifying his decision not to "diss on" (sic) his friend Iain suggests that none of Wendy Alexander or Peter Hain's friends were calling for them to resign. But I'd say that at least some of their blogging friends were covering the case.

There is absolutely no equivalence whatsoever between Derek Conway's behaviour - carrying echoes of old school Tory feloniousness, you know Archer, Aitken, Hamiltons - and the cases of Wendy Alexander or as far as we know Peter Hain.

Wendy Alexander and her team did not pick up that a donor of £950 was not permissible. Even when it came to sending a thank you form letter.

In fact as we all know Cameron's own constituency did the same to the tune of 700% of the value.

Unfortunate, but hardly the same as directing £50,000 to one son and who knows what to his elder brother and not being able to account for a stroke of work done in return.

Peter Hain has a strange but as far as we know legal company vehicle for some donations and loans and he was a few months late declaring a six figure total of 17 plus donations. But in fact he was around four times quicker than George Osborne in getting things registered.

Whatever CCHQ may say there are almost £500,000 of donations to George Osborne's activities that haven't been reported by GOO to either EC or RMI.

The fact that CCHQ have reported them to the EC simply is not good enough. It doesn't do the job of showing transparently just which Hedgies and Toffs are backing GOO's bid to be Chancellor of the Exchequer. The electorate and the media should be able to see these links clearly on EC and HoP websites.

And that celebrated but laughable email from the commissioner does not get anyone off the hook in the slightest.

There is an assumption in the commissioner's answer that the money is already declared to the RMI. The question answered is whether it needs to be reported to the EC as well. Not the other way round. No sign the Tory Whip's Office enquiry was even linked to GOO's iffy situation.

Worst Council Finances: LibDem Liverpool, Con Southend

Number twelve in the Daley dozen is a Lib Dem Voice whine about the unfairness of the appallingly mis-run-by-Libdems city of Liverpool being designated appallingly mis-run-by-Libdems. It absolutely is appallingly run. With the Storey/Bradley conspiracies and cock ups flowing in equal measure as they muller one of our great cities.

A subject we may return to. But neither Mr Dale nor LDV seems to have paid attention to the actual Guardian report.

Southend and the Scilly Islands are in fact in the same bag. The former being officially Tory, with no eons ago Militant Tendancy to excuse themselves, and the latter being unofficially conservative, with a Lib Dem MP and more likely a Military tendancy than anything Trotty.

IT'S OFFICIAL: All three could provide services for £100 lower Council Tax.

Guido Fawkes: As Illogical as Two-Headed Don-Quixote

There are times when it must be said that the right wing Libertarian blogger Paul Staines aka Guido Fawkes aka Mr GuF appears to have completely taken leave of his senses. Today is one of them:

Did Dave dither? He says he slept on it and thought better, well he may have thought better not to lose votes, better not to annoy the activists, better to upset David Davis than Guido and Tim Montgomerie - who knows?
The important thing is, he has now dealt with the sleaze issue decisively. What is Gordon going to do? After the Abrahams scandal broke Gordon demanded the resignation of Peter Watt. He told the monthly press conference immediately afterwards that undeclared donations were unlawful and unacceptable and that was why Watt had to go.
Since then we have had Hain - he went - but we still have Harman, Johnson and Wendy. Why haven't they gone? They broke the law. Why are they still lawmakers and ministers of the crown?

So, a Tory MP who is bang to rights slushing the best part of £50,000 to his unqualified son Freddie, at an unfeasibly high remuneration rate, and with no visible return for the tax payer? Cameron stuck up for him but then threw a U-ey and, oo-er, set him free from the Tory whip? And so Brown should sanction H Harman, A Johnson and W Alexander who have respectively :
- Unknowingly taken, and incidentally declared, a donation via a secret agent, with both original donor and intermediary permissible donors;
- Received, carefully checked and declared everything rather well;
- Received £950 from an impermissible donor, which is roughly 14% of the amount David Cameron's Witney Tories trousered from similar sources.

What a crock GuF! Conway is so obviously far more culpable. The cases do not bear comparison. Are you blogging drunk after your liquid lunch you soak? Do you have no sense of proportion whatsoever?

Let's hope Conway goes to jail along with his co-conspirators. And let's hope GuF develops some kind of sense of proportion. This is just braying GuF. And Dave DID "dither like a donkey" as GuF coined in his stumbling Newsnight reprise. Which we'll give him as a possible first use. Unlike his attempt to pilfer the old as the hills: "Snouts in the trough".

Image of Don Guido Quixote on his dithering two headed donkey courtesy of Economist USA.

Mr GuF: Leads Lynch Mob, and Fantasy of Idiom Making

Fair play. GuF is leading the lynch mobs after Conway's neck ... but we have a feeling his claim to ownership of the expression "Snouts in the Trough" is even more ridiculous than some of his other recent vanities.

Iain Dale: Feels a Cameron Mini-Shuffle Coming On

Iain Dale wonders out loud if there's a Cameron mini-shuffle going on. Clearly he knows all about* his good friend Derek Conway as they worked together on the catastrophic David Davis campaign. But he doesn't seem to know about the DWP Shadow Mimicster and solicitor and barrister Nigel Waterson MP who spent 13 hours in police custody on Sunday/Monday over child battering allegations. His own teenagers as it goes. Telegraph stress - this was not a sexual attack. Waterson was described on BBC News 24 as a "close friend" of Dave Cameron.

Here he is on child protection (with respect to Section 28 in 2003):

The onus should be on the Government to come up with an alternative method of protecting our children, rather than that being left to the official Opposition?

An alternative method of protecting Mr Waterson's children is indeed needed urgently as he is on police bail until March. The Telegraph report states that the violent abuse is not a one-off but part of a pattern.

* Actually I'm not sure even Iain knew about the shady double life.

Tory Embezzler: Urgent Letter's in the Post, 2nd Class

While John Mann MP twists the knife in Tory embezzler Derek Conway's chest by asking the Commissioner to probe elder son Henry as well as young Freddy, the Lib Dem PPC for Bexley Heath and Sidcup and gratuitous Shilpa Shetty blogger Duncan Borrowman says he's sent a letter to the Met Police asking them to investigate what looks like Criminal Fraud and prosecute as necessary:

Dear Commander Mawer,
I write to you concerning the verdict of the House of Commons Standards and Privileges Committee regarding the activities of my local Member of Parliament, Derek Conway MP.
I note that the Committee has stated that Mr Conway's son Frederick (FC) was:
"unlikely to be able to meet his contractual commitments"
and
"no records appear to exist of either actual work that FC did for his father, or the work he was required to undertake…no-one outside of the Conway family was aware of the work."
further, they state:
"We note that FC seems to have been all but invisible during the period of his employment,"
and
"This arrangement was, at the least, an improper use of Parliamentary allowances: at worst it was a serious diversion of public funds. Our view is that the reality may well be somewhere between the two."
From the statements given by the committee it is clear that there is primae facie evidence that criminal fraud may have taken place, and I ask that you investigate the activities of Mr Conway in this context.
I should declare that I am Mr Conway's Liberal Democrat opponent at the next General Election, but believe this issue is important enough, especially in the present climate, to warrant police investigation.
Yours sincerely
Duncan Borrowman

LOL remember watching Chris Huhne on the Daily Politics claiming he'd sent a letter to Durham Police about planning corruption - strangely in an area where Development Control is in the hands of his own party - but looked a bit sheepish when Andrew Neill reported that the letter hadn't yet reached the police. "Was in the process of writing" perhaps? "Was minded to write a letter soon"?

The same has happened again. The police still haven't got Borrowman's sent letter, reproduced on his website yesterday afternoon. The reason? Apparently the unstoppable Lib Dem loveanti-corruption machine applied a second class stamp to the envelope.

Let's hope that when the missive does reach its destination it will be more effective than Huhne's very silly cry-babery and police time wastage.

BREAKING NEWS: Dithering Cameron has done a U-turn and withdrawn the whip from Derek Conway.

More on Con-Way: Con-servative, Con-Man, Convict?

Seems to me Tory MP and ex-Minister, ex-Whip Derek Conway was lucky to get away with his moonlighting but should be getting jail, a full refund plus interest, a humungous fine, loss of his seat through the jail sentence, and eternal shame.

Instead he is getting ten days gardening leave and getting let off more than two-thirds of what he has stolen. Unity expounds his sins, hat tip Bob Piper, and GuF is calling for Conway's head just as he did with Osborne's money laundering.

Stealing £45,000 or so is obviously far worse than late reporting of a donation or 17. Conway is the one who should face a police enquiry. Will GuF admit that?

Buller Dave: Greenwash Shown Up By Observer Food

Clearly a huge joke putting David Cameron in any eco top-40. Every eco-stunt he pulls gets found out in no time. Crappy wind turbine. Huge car or some say cars behind his bike. Jet to take huskies and DC to hug a glacier. Jetting everywhere else, paid for by Carbon-chomping zillionaires. Ha ha ha. 100% greenwash.

Congratulations to Polly Vernon for showing him up as completely and utterly unsuitable for the Observer's trick accolade.

Back Room: Mix of Incompetence and Suicide Attacks?

Westmonster suggests the price of a second hand Ford Fiesta is not worth getting hung about. Back room muppetry being largely to blame for any real mistakes.

My view of the muppets in the back room is that there are at least two types:

1. Incompetent, accidental muppets, probably evenly spaced through a parliament and
2. Competent, suicide muppets, clustered to order

Iain Dale gets a hat tip.

Derek Conway: Moonlighting Cop-MP Collared

Juggling two careers is never easy and it is no wonder that something gave in Derek Conway's busy schedule as he tried to juggle his fictional life at Sun Hill police station with his job as a Conservative parliamentarian and Whip where his plot lines had stretched to the dramatic ousting of a lame duck Tory leader, known rather quietly by initials only.

The poor chap had to endure four years out of the drama of the house 1997-2001 but giving up his television work - terminally written out in a bomb blast (2002) - Derek Conway regained a few stone and a seat in 2005.

Here's what Tory HQ say about him, glossing over his thespian activities:

Derek Conway was elected MP for Old Bexley and Sidcup in 2001. Previously, he was MP for Shrewsbury and Atcham for 14 years, up to 1997.
He contested his first Parliamentary seat in 1974 and was subsequently a councillor on Gateshead Borough Council and Tyne & Wear County Council. He was active in the TA and has worked for a number of charities, including Action Research for the Crippled Child and the Cat Protection League.
He was Parliamentary Private Secretary to the Minister of State for Wales from 1988-91 and to Minister of State for Employment from 1992-93. He was subsequently Assistant government whip from 1993-94 and Government whip from 1993-97.

Born in Newcastle, he is married with 2 sons and 1 daughter.
Contact Derek
Email: conwayd@parliament.uk
Telephone: 020 8308 0398
Postal Address: House of Commons, London, SW1A 0AA.

Cat Protection League is a really nice touch Derek.

Son Freddie was lucky enough to get a student scholarship from Slush Unlimited of more than £1,000 a month - on the tax payer - although we're now hearing that he did not get his homework finished.

Mr Conway said: "It is great to get a chance to play parts on both sides of the law. As a law keeper and a parliamentary law breaker. To be honest for just the once in my life I was bang to rights nicking £45,000 from the till at work. Ten days' gardening leave looks very much like a let off.

"I was lucky the Commissioner was a great fan of my fictional character and has so kindly supported my creative writing on the old expenses front. It could have been 18 months in an open prison, nicking £45,000?, I'll say."