Green Party: Call on Clogg to Back Berry not Paddick

Looks like the scourge of the photoshopping classes - Lib Dem Voice - are not practicing what they preach. Now there's a surprise.

In essence they are running an attack on Ken Livingstone, Gordon Brown and Sian Berry - the Green Mayoral candidate - for being cosier together than they should be. By calling for second preference trading. Rather than the Greens defaulting to the Liberal Democrats. A party who are as we all know still too yellow to be green (and too yellow to be fair) and whose stock in trade is squeezing greens 'til the pips squeak.

Lib Dem Voice are following their party's tradition and not even beginning to deal with Sian Berry's New Statesman piece claiming that Paddick is neither a "real Lib Dem" (whatever that may be) nor a supporter of even mainstream green-ish policies. They have even called on Nick Clegg himself to switch to backing Berry. He is weighing that up.

There is also a rather worrying acceptance from the LDV commentati of their party being in bed with Booby Boris Johnson's Conservatives. Surely London Lib Dems should also be calling for 2nd pref votes to Ken not Boz? Over the war. Over a very good level of community leadership after 7/7. Over the Green stuff too. Instead there is just smearage, even outrageously alleging Ken somehow supported the "execution" of Jean Charles De Menezes.

Berry's points re Paddick's policies need a response. And apparently wishing for a Tory Mayor for London and a great boost for Dave Cameron's Conservatives - mostly at the expense of the Lib Dem Party! - also needs an explanation from Lib Dems who like to have it every which way but true.

Tory supporting? Not something that will go down well among their very strange coalition in our urban centres. Liberal Democrats want to do business with Tories. Iain says so here: second preferences 39.4% to Tories, just 14.2% to Labour . And so do LDV in their vote tory strand.

That is Tories who were 1% against the war, rather than 40% from the PLP. Tories who clearly harbour plans to slash the public services. Tories who deliberately destroyed employment, distinctly dog whistle on race, and diligently deny community. Is that the party that Lib Dem voters borrowed from the independent left, working communities, and the greenish should support? Along with tactical Tories?

In my own ward the Lib Dems are desperately trying to squeeze Greens to vote for them. With empty propaganda that bears no relation to their own sham or non-existent greenery where they hold power. Most notably in NW in poor Liverpool.

Commenters at LDV have called Greens names for siding with Labour in Bristol - against Lib Dems who were removing subsidy from local trains, threatening to ban door mats, amd giving themselves a humungous pay rise - and in Sheffield where their reign was short though not sweet.

Even more on the plus side we have the Greens support in Manchester for a cross-party initiative on no cooperation with the BNP. Probably even the Nu Tory will sign that. Lib Dems have refused the opportunity to sign up to this on at least three occasions. The Greens are highly likely to lose their solitary representation on our Council on May 1. Now is not the time for their supporters to be drifting away to Paddick's crew - in this case a right young fibber - who will say anything it takes to get elected.

With her boss even lying - in "utter twaddle" to quote one of their own most enthusiastic supporters - to cancer patients waiting for chemotherapy.

Luke Akehurst also has coverage.

Farmer Dale: Some Blogs Are More Unequal Than Others

Speaking of babbling confusion we have Iain Dale mocking Wendy Alexander for giving herself a perfect 10. Iain's clearly opening the door to some unpleasant misogynist, body fascist banter, though more moderate than GuF would orchestrate. But he ends with a strangely inappropriate quote from George Orwell's Animal Farm.

In which work the incumbent "farmer class" are usurped by the insurgent "animal class" whose leaders then sadly go on to become decadent, wear clothes, smoke cheroots, and walk on two legs. Treating and partying with their former oppressors. Which is not a bad comparator to the snout-wise Scottish Nats, as LOL suggested seven months ago, but seems pretty dismal in relation to Wee Wendy. What is Farmer Dale on abaht? And why does he set up these opportunities for sock puppets and gutter snipe rascals? Salmond passes the Mars Bar Pakoras.

BBC Category Error: Broadcasting Babbling Confusion

Sometimes, quite often even, I wonder whether today's journalists have the intellectual tools to report fairly, logically or even factually. This is the BBC no less reporting on "Speaker Michael Martin's ... improvements".

Now clearly there are issues with MPs expenses, including some related to Mr Martin personally.

But there is a huge difference between repairs and refurbishments and indeed furnishings for a "tied cottage" grace and favour address which will, generally speaking remain in situ for whoever next serves, and items from the John Lewis List which immediately belong to the MP purchasing them, may add to the value of the freehold or leasehold for their address, and can later be sold on separately or in situ by them.

The speaker, whether Mr Martin or someone else before or after, cannot sell their grace and favour home or its furnishings on. Now can they?

The British Broadcasting Corporation is guilty of the sort of category error that is all too common in today's media.

Immigration and Borders: What a Day We've Had

Many thanks to Tony Lloyd MP and Liam Byrne MP and everyone else involved in the release from detention today of Elly Kiptarbei Tarus (right), a young Kenyan athlete who has been trying to join the British Forces and has become an overstayer in the process.

Tarus is still liable to be detained and removed, if he does not leave voluntarily or sort his status out, but not let's hope in this remarkable way.

He has an unused return portion of an Emirates ticket which can be re-dated for $80, he has never had any recourse to public funds, he has been in no trouble whatsoever, and he has suffered mistakes and/or unintended consequences from four (count 'em) different government departments.

Unwittingly, and at times with intended kindness and generosity, conspiring to prevent his joining British Forces.

He had already agreed to go back to Kenya voluntarily at his own expense should his attempts to correct these mistakes ultimately fail. That way he would be 95% likely to get back in and be able to serve in the forces as he wishes. My running club has guaranteed he won't need recourse to public funds in the meantime.

Today when he attended a routine interview to "collect his passport back". He was instead detained and put in a cell. This broke a series of clear promises and agreements that had been made to him or with him. That being at an initial interview I attended myself.

Tarus was later I believe shipped to Manchester Airport, from whence he would have been transferred to a detention centre for five nights at tax payers' expense, before being bundled on a flight - without his possessions - at tax payers' expense on Wednesday.

Perhaps with a little post modern torture in Terminal 5 thrown in.

Papers - specifically representations to the Minister - had been lost somewhere in the mix. Today we were able to right that, just in time. But even so, this was quite a carry on given the assurances we had been given.

Many thanks to those that did help. And quite an anecdote collected on the way from some North West solicitors who certainly did not help us out one little bit.

NW Libdemologists: There's Nowt as Queer as Folk

What a strange old world those Lib Dems live in! One side of the M6 they're resigning due to Stalinist plots preventing de-selection of a councillor. The other side they're resigning due to Stalinist plots achieving de-selection of a councillor.

There's really nowt as queer as Lib Dem folk.

Lib Dem "Green" Propaganda: Latest Waste Paper

Oh dear. A second piece of Lib Dem propaganda through the door in 12 hours and the fourth in five days or so. Is there an election coming up soon or something?

Hilariously given this flood of wasted paper and wasted ink and wasted fibs this last leaflet is on green paper and partly in green ink and, laying things on a bit thick this, claims green credentials too in case we missed the point.

Perhaps I'll have the time later to come back to this heaving pile of dubiosity. Just one word for now: LIVERPOOL.

FOOTNOTE: This thing arrived with the post. Have the Lib Dems actually paid for today's delivery?

Dizzy Thinks: Ex-Tory Ex-Councillor is Lefty

Yes, that's right. Anything wrong in the world of politics is by definition leftist, according to Dizzy Thinks. Certainly making a monkey of Croydonian who provided an endorsement claiming hilariously that Phil Hendren thinks before he blogs. As if!

Still, he does get a visit from the ex-Tory ex-Councillor "lefty" himself. His finger slipped and he posted before he had polished his turgid sermon:

The article went up erroneously before being completed, and that (like the rest of the material that (Ed's insert) went up) was a quote I had taken from elsewhere -- actually last September -- and was trying to find the original source when I was interrupted (pushy 'cold caller' at the door!).
I had to dash out after he'd held me up, so I never finished the job.
Actually, I have since found the link (in Google Blogs) though the page itself has been taken down -- just as I did with mine for that matter, once I realised what had happened.
Anyway, the point was to show that this kind of extreme thinking was already out there, and we need as a nation to 'brainstorm' a better solution before the economic crunch forces Gordon B into one his typical dithers followed by panic draconian measures.
As always, where possible I prefer 'carrots' to 'sticks'.
Of course, the hatchet men of the media [Ed: Lefties like the Mail] weren't interested in that, as they had their own agenda...
Anyway, for good, pragmatic reasons, I have now resigned, and (as I have blogged HERE) it is a weight off my mind.

Just like Enoch Powell, John M Ward was quoting from elsewhere when he made his headline grabbing contribution.

Tibet Petition: Beyond One Million in a Week

Thanks to those who have signed the petition for dialogue not crackdown on Tibet. Beyond a million in just seven days. Now shooting for two million.

Another Day Off Blogging: Musing on Rape Case

Another day off blogging. Sorry. Busy with various work things. But no excuses.

Also considering what to do about the request in comments for an exposition of the part of John Leech and others in the accused rape raised there.

GMP also have a lot of explaining to do on that IMO. And local media that let it go. But I'll let you know.

So Weak: Mr GuF Too Crashes on Bio-Science Bill

Mr Paul Staines aka Guido Fawkes aka Mr GuF has also had better days. But has certainly outdone Dale ... by having some content.

But then again. What silly content it really is. That gratuitous Emily Maitlis thigh picture again. And the good old boy homophobia.

The prospect of using shell animal eggs plus human stuff to make stem cells for life-saving experiments (99.99% human but very non viable and short-lived) is referred to with the F word. Is GuF a libertarian or not? Does the pope shit in the woods? Probably if he's caught short. But do Bears wear pointy hats? Err, NO!

Does GuF have a brain or not? Is Guido Fawkes the blogger pretending to be some centuries old dissident? Or is Staines himself a pathetic catholic drone in the here and now?

Why is the flat earth libertarian GuF not actually saying what HE THINKS or HE FEELS about the issue of scientists using their brains to solve human problems? Dale doesn't either. Pathetic, the pair of them.

In case you don't read comments at Dale's place I'd like to say that I am utterly in favour of the spirit of this Bill. It is crazy to oppose science to resist Parkinson's and the like. My dad has it. And it is not pretty. It's certainly a huge pain for him.

My mother, a card-carrying pro-life marcher, now faces quite a quandary. But to me it is so obvious - as Jim Devine MP has stated in a very heroic way in my view - that the church(es) is/are way wrong on this. I hope that Catholic Ministers and MPs use this opportunity to vote for modernity and science over medievalism and superstition.

This is the blessing of a free vote on clauses as far as I'm concerned. Let's see just who has so little regard for science and modernity that they vote with the more stupid bishops, cardinals and nazi popes. With clerics that scarcely seem to have even the slightest moral or ethical argument against saving and enhancing lives with science.

The image of the "heretic" Galileo comes from the Roshi Bob Blog.

So Weak: Dale's Diary, Weakest Five Posts Ever?

It is just possible that the last 24 hours or so have been the weakest ever in the history of Iain Dale's Diary. Looking for some acute political analysis from Britain's top political blogger today has been needle in haystack fruitless.

Instead we have had tedious treading water on the failure of Tory planning and highways authorities in Kent; the amusing antics of the nutty NUT,
specifically on military preying on schools (both NUT and Iain Dale are wrong); some vacuous twaddle on the conscience wrestling over the Frankenfurter Bill; some fillyblogbusting over alleged fillybustering from Jack Straw and some absolute tosh attacking the speaker of the house.

Presumably Iain has promised himself that there will be four posts a day and he's not had much time; but he's still hit the target, albeit with nonsense. I blame Total Politics, the new Cashcroft vehicle, substantially slower than the Dassault jet, but supporting the Tories direction of travel none-the-less.

HoP Poetry: Cabinet of Curiosities or Wunderkammer?

Was interested to hear Alex Hilton of the reactivated Recess Monkey blog on Radio Five Live yesterday. Musing and amusing about the muse that has infected the HoP (right).

Denis MacShane told the Mail: "I think a rather better poem would be:

Pity poor Dave
So rich and so blue
The Tories to save
Nothing he'll not do."

Which is almost bad enough to constitute a confession. But I think the whole thing's Balls. Which might be an accusation. Or it might be literary criticism. More likely perhaps is Cam or Goo or Gove; or perhaps the person of persons unknown who carved a four letter word on Blair's dispatch box. As Mr Hilton revealled.

Cllr John Leech MP: Crying Into His Glass Fully Empty

Labour's candidate for Chorlton Park John Hacking catches Cllr John Leech MP having no mates here and here and here. In reverse order for his "raucous students provide cover for rapists" gaffe, for his latest "I'm voting with the Tories" moment, and for his solo Early Day Motion about a Mail sorting office which is now only staying open for only two hours longer than all the others.

This has attracted a record level of support: John Leech - nul poins. The story was one of Lorenzo's over at the Withington Co-op Party Blog and Lorenzo got it from Graham at Greater Manchester Fabians.

Perhaps Mr Leech's lack of popularity among his fellow MPs - and John Hacking's exposure of it all on Tuesday 11 March - was what led him to seek refuge in another solo drinking session at The Sports and Social at Westminster that very evening. This being the haunt of the parliamentary underclass low life of researchers, secretaries and tea children.

LEECH HEALTH WARNING: Children, Don't Do As I Do.

Salford Oppositions: Crying Wolf Over Snouts in Troughs?

It is always interesting when oppositionists on Councils start complaining about ruling group gravy trains as Cllr Steve Cooke (Salford) does.

Four points spring to mind:

1. Presumably the Executive Support Members (ESMs) in Salford have similar demanding roles to (paid) deputy chairs/cabinet members in other authorities? Including Lib Dem and Lib Con authorities?

2. Presumably Cllr Steve Cooke knows that the basic allowance enjoyed by (often idle) back bench Libdemologists in Manchester is almost at the ESM level he derides?

3. Presumably, though he does not say anything, he knows about the big INCREASE Lib Dems brought in in Bristol on their fairly temporary accession to rule? And he must have an insight into the equivalent payments in the atrociously managed (it's official) Lib Dem Liverpool. But that goes unnoted as well. Any reason for that?

4. Presumably he also knows about the Hospital Hoaxer Cllr John Leech MP who is trousering his £60,000 from HoP, £22,000 John Lewis List, £10,000 Communications - which he is using for hybrid political leaflets, PLUS payments to Lib Dem activists, PLUS his councillor wages of £15,000+. Similar to Paul Rowen in Rochdale and John Hemmings in Brum and others for all I know.

Leech promised to donate these "council expenses" - after tax presumably - to local Lib Dem constituency funds. Yet last time I looked of c £45,000 only £3,500 has darkened the door of the Electoral Commission register.

In fact now we're on the subject there is a great mystery with Manchester Lib Dem funds in that they appear to have a professional campaign worker and fairly deep pockets in general but scarcely any donations are recorded. How does that work?

I applaud Cllr Steve Cooke's intention of giving transparency. All things considered he seems to be worth more than half a dozen of the Manchester Lib Dem half-arses put together, even though he feels hard done by with 34% less in allowances.

But perhaps he would also try for fairness and shine the light of righteousness on Lib Dem authorities showing how things should be done? Which goes for Cllr Iain Lindley who hat-tipped Cllr Cooke when it comes to Tory Councils running cities.

Meanwhile if anyone has any examples from round the country of snouts of any political hue in the public trough then please do share in comments.

Closer to Home: Tory Boy Bloggers Wrong Wrong Wrong

Closer to home the Tories are also full of it. For goodness sake Cllr Iain Lindley! There is no need to follow that buffoon Cameron even where he is clearly mistaken. The record shows that the Rt Hon man Ed Balls said “So weak!” which is one of his stock phrases actually. It is scandalous that Lindley is believing partisan spin over Hansard, the mother of all journals of record.

Councillor Lindley also seems to believe all the guff about Cem's musical tastes scam and shows disdain for a Guardian G2 article by John Harris on the very subject. This mentions one of my outdoor concert confections by name and with much fondness. A story for another day perhaps.

Guido Fawkes's GuF: Still More Schoolboy Errors

Mr Dale isn't the only one who can't manage maths. Hedgie Paul Staines aka swear blogger Guido Fawkes aka Mr GuF commits schoolboy errors in an "analysis" of MPs' expenses claims.

God he's an incompetent and illogical idiot. More deprivation, more casework. More and better staff, more stationery and post costs, more telephone calls. More distance from centre, more Labour constituencies, more travel costs. And so on.

Total Pants: Iain Dale Recommends "Join the Eurozone"

Speaking of disingenuity and malice - how's about this mischiefery? Obviously Iain Dale doesn't have the grasp of economics to see that it's arrant propaganda. Making the Eurozone look like a great prospect to boot. Is that what he intended? Total Pants, wet with a streak of Tory blogger boy widdle.

Freedom of Information: Is This More Hospital Hoaxery?

Looks like Dave Ottewell, the Manchester Evening News' numero uno snooper and blogger may have been stymied by Hospital Hoax investigation disingenuity and weaselry following a Freedom of Information investigation. I've commented. Not up yet. Perhaps the progenitors of earlier FIO searches might like to join in?

Rochdale Bully Boy: Calls Congestionists Names

David Hennigan has written a letter to the Evening News, and what's more they've printed it.

It's all over the place, like one of those rare Lib Dem policy positions, but essentially is in support of Cllr Roger Jones, Chair of the GMPTA, who has it seems been personally targeted by Tory-backed and Tory-backing pollsters who, wait for it, support congestion. These pollution champions set professional pollster attack dogs asking attack questions in Jones' Salford ward.

Implicit in this letter is harsh criticism of Cllr John Leech MP who has continued to take opportunist pro-con positions on the matter - currently seeming to support more congestion and pollution, certainly failing to provide leadership.

Friend Hennigan concludes:

This will send a clear message to self-interested companies like Peel Holdings that their bullying tactics don’t work, and neither should they. Dave Hennigan, Heaton Chapel

An interesting home address for a localist Libdemologist working in Rochdale and Oldham East and Saddleworth! But no matter. More interesting is renowned bully boy Hennigan's alleged stance against bullying.

Here he is sticking up for a vee sign councillor, and here defending racist dog whistling from another councillor and PPC, and just one more recent occasion, "standing in the middle of the road in the pouring rain having a fit, shouting abuse and generally making an utter fool of himself" embarrassing Rochdale with his own bullying tactics.

He should perhaps lie down in a darkened room and consider his position.

McTories: Ready to Jump Into Bed with Salmond?

When I just mentioned the Daleian/Tory status as ex-Unionists I had no idea of the level of blue enthusiasm for the bedding of the toothsome Salmond.

Iain Dale: Likes His Bull in a China Shop

Iain Dale mistakes Nationalism for "local democracy". The Nu-Maoist centre are of course happy for the people of Tibet to decide which pavements get resurfaced and what colour to paint the lamp posts, to control local planning, and to manage the village pump.

But accession from China is the polar opposite of "local democracy". Of course now that the Tories have become ex-Unionists Iain cannot be expected to have any empathy with any central government.

NEXT WEEK: Why Texas should leave the United States.

Wrong 'Uns: Lord Ashcroft, Iain Dale, John Leech

Lord Ashcroft is providing a goodly part of the start up finance for the "politically neutral" Total politics. Iain Dale is now quibbling over the description of this as "bankrolling". He says it is a purely commercial investment.

Tom Watson doubts this. Though in fact the verb to bankroll is not loaded as specific to either charity, loan or commerce. For example:

Cllr Angela Gallagher was persuaded to use her retirement nestegg to bankroll the hoaxer John Leech in his rather mendacious campaign for Westminster.

And there's more:

Mrs Gallagher believed her contribution was by way of a loan and was rather disappointed to say the least when Hoaxer John refused to countenance any payback. Especially considering he had used it to tell lies about the Christie Hospital.

And finally:

"Really" she said "I'm a pensioner and he would take me out for a lovely meal or a big drink and end up persuading me to give him another cheque. All together I gave him twice the spending limit, and that was on top of whatever else he raised."

At the time Mrs Gallagher was said to be particularly upset that Leech was splashing out on sofas and curtains and what have you. Presumably though that was all paid for off the John Lewis List and all £23,000 of Mrs Gallagher's donations were used for the campaign. Limit £11,000.

Withington watchers are looking forward to the complete disclosure of all Mr Leech's runnings. He has been taking adverts in party political leaflets, mixing politics into parliamentary reports produced with taxpayers money for three years on the trot, and also - according to the official list - reneging on his promise to make donations of all councillor expenses from his neglected job in Manchester.

£45,000 plus received, before tax, a mere £3,500 recorded as donated. He's a wrong 'un that John Leech, he really is. GRAPHIC: Courtesy of The Sun.

Essex Boy Vacancy: Have UKIP Turned a Tory?

Haringey Lib Dem councillor Matt Davies kindly reproduces Bob Spink MP's CCHQ gloss. Spink is rumoured to be headed for UKIP as a sole Westminster MP.

Who knows what will happen in the General Election? If Tories were to select Essex boy Mr Iain Dale as their PPC - despite his record in propagating reverse swing as well as unplayable spin - there is even a chance that Spink will hang on.

Guido Fawkes the GuF Blogger: Has Cloth Ears

Looks like the anarcho-imperialist hedgie swear blogger Paul Staines aka Guido Fawkes aka Mr GuF has cloth ears like his master's voice "Dave" Cameron. Actually that's not fair. I take it back. Both of them know full well that Ed Balls said "So Weak!" rather than "So What?".

Both sadly are shameless fibbers and mischievists.

BBC Online is balanced while failed Lib Dem councillor Norfolk Blogger is clearly unbalanced, insisting he is right even when Hansard and indeed the Video (above) uploaded by GuF simply shows the feeble Cameron lying about the original Balls heckle. Recorded as "So Weak!" in Hansard.

Environment: Peak District "Pollution" versus T5

An interesting juxtaposition on BBC Breakfast. School kids helping to track the "pollution" emanating from the Peak District's weathered peats. And the Queen due to open Heathrow's sparkling Terminal Five. Which is worse? Allegedly the peat bogs chucking out rather than soaking up CO2 are SEVERAL TIMES worse than the whole of Heathrow.

Interesting stuff. When natural processes and a naturally occuring gas are termed "pollution" are we getting rather mired in gobbledy gook?

Iain Dale: "Thought" for the Day, Heralds Slash and Burn?

Iain Dale needs to explain what the Tories plan to cut, apart presumably from the shameless doh-brain soundbites?

Sir George GOO Osborne MP: He's So Full of It He Stinks

In November GOO stated that people in Manchester would be £50 per week worse off this year under Labour plans, £50 more per week the following year, and so on and so forth. Today he's claiming the figure is about £2 per week. A 94% reduction in alarm and mendacity. Which is nice. Still not right though.

Mike Todd: Chief Constable, Found Dead in Snowdonia

Shocking news. Greater Manchester's Chief Constable Mike Todd has been found dead in Snowdonia. Attempts are being made to recover his body. Radio Five report that notes to his family have been recovered.

When I met the man and discussed policing issues and the fight against racism with him in Spring 2004 I was very impressed with him. He told me that he loved being a police officer. Every day he said was like Christmas. Excepting the day when Detective Constable Stephen Oake was killed, in the course of an arrest.

Libdemologists: Depths of the Yellow Streak Franchise

Iain Dale has the story of the defection - to the Tories, yeuch - of former LD PPC in Hull East with some interesting comments to follow. After Clogg endorsed Elywn Racist as following Lib Dem principles - reported yesterday - this is yet another instance of the evil franchise exposed.

Having said that this is not a universal plague. I was saddened to hear today of the death of local Lib Dem and before that Liberal activist Charles Sinclair (1929-2008) in the Carlton Club Newsletter.

Charles was a true believer. One of the few Manchester Lib Dems who actually put in the vigil hours alongside those of other parties and none over the war. With a good technical understanding of planning, transport and other issues. And a well directed skill with letters to the editor. Not to forget a generosity with tea and biscuits when passing the time as an election day teller.

Cllr John "Cancer Hoax" Leech: "Will Face Consequences"

Whippy Clogg has made it known that he's (a) gunning for the ne'er-do-well John Leech, and (b) excusing a Sheik's bookman and PPC for Oldham and Saddleworth from repeating hard racist views without comment, by way of a dog whistle report the Manchester Evening News.

The Lib Dems are it seems constitutionally obliged to be apolitical. To quote Clogg, to "represent the views of his constituents, which is what we all have to do - even if we don't like it." Er, no, Whippy, that's actually contemptible and weak. There are times when elected representatives should LEAD. Lib Dems are bang out of order FOLLOWING pig-headed racists.

This was the excuse of Lib Dem activists either side of the Leeds Road in the latter constituency when they supported a mosque's planning application one side of the street and disparaged it the other. Contemptible and weak.

Iain Dale: Cold Leads from the LibDem Spring Conference

Iain Dale (2:32 pm) has a set of four anecdotes from the Lib Dem Spring Conference here. Far from being exclusives from his "undercover reporter in Liverpool" they are all old news. LOL had the best story - on Lib Dem money laundering - yesterday, as did our credited source GuF, and GuF also had the second one at 11 this morning. The first - about autocues - was frankly obvious.

Leaving the fourth - about a non-photograph. Which is what journalists would I believe call a non-story. As Tory bloggers did when it was Boris Johnson who didn't get photographed the other day.

The post is only really good for a link to Archbishop Cramner's destruction of Whippy Clogg's speech. Amen to that.

Mr Whippy Clogg: All Over the Place on Europe

Guido had the above rag out of a Lib Dem press release late yesterday. They meant "Cameron". Quite a stream of abuse aimed at Lib Dems - surrounding a dodgy racist analysis of racially motivated homicide statistics - including some [irony]absolutely hilarious[/irony] definitions of the word "Clegg".

Once again Guido's readers are around ten weeks behind LOL.

Violence Against Women: John Leech Gets in a Pickle

Incidentally Lucy Powell has used half her Guardian Blog this week to comment on violence against women and the recent march in Manchester (right). Domestic violence, sexual assault and rape. South Manchester Blogger Stephen Newton has drawn attention in comments to an extraordinary letter, leaked to the South Manchester Reporter.

This was from Lucy's main opposition in Manchester Withington - a ruthless self-publicist who will it seems stop at nothing - in which the clot claimed that student hubbub provides a cover for rapists.

When I first saw the story in the South Manchester Reporter I was half hoping that it was going to cover another shameful incident involving this weak parliamentarian, his close friends, and his appalling attitude to such matters. But alas, not this time. The matter in question was either not properly investigated or any investigation covered up by the police. One day, one day.

Daily Mail Object Lesson: Outing a Sex Complainant?

One advantage of taking son to have a haircut is that current Mail and Express are proffered in the waiting area. Celebrity barber asked permission to do what the boy wants, immediately given. As some other dad said he's the one that's going to have to walk round with it. And spookily he's actually choosing to have the cut that I'd always resisted as a youth myself. Aka "short back and sides". Other dad also explains how his son was asking after how he got his widow's vee styled ...

Anyways, in the Mail we find out all about this story of a Cambridge post-grad with glittering prizes behind him - along with a "nine-month hell" that he says Nietzsche-like has "made him stronger".

Rather paradoxical of the public spirited Mail to put this guy’s name, CV and various photos - one clearly caned - looking like a shady scrote and all that, across an early double page spread. Given that his identity should they claim be protected?

The Mail print various pictures. One with the guy drunken, with a blonde whom the paper edition gallantly identifies as unconnected, though the website does not. Scrolling down one with his rowing team with a lady coxswain - not remotely answering the description. Plus another with rowing colleagues at a bit of a do.

Is the girl in that last picture, a recent Trinity College eight's coxswain I'd wager - and someone that the Mail pointedly DO NOT disassociate from the story - the sexual assault (NB not rape) complainant with the famous celebrity parent perchance?

Must agree with the commenter who suggests that given the low level of convictions in such cases it is to be hoped that the story does not discourage complaints. If I'm right about the picture the complainant should sue the pants off the Mail for deliberately leading to her identification in this way. And yes, I am aware that I'm drawing attention to the issue.

Guido: Liverpool Being Taken to the Cleaners by Libs?

The disastrous Lib Dem regime in Liverpool is hosting the Libs' Spring Conference. Guido spots some money laundering on behalf of an Exec Member and PPC for Liverpool Wavertree.

Lady Thatcher You Can't Match Her: The Darling of Us All

Kirsty Wark ended Newsnight tonight by reporting that Lady T has been rushed to hospital for "precautionary tests".

BBC Online has a little more.

POSTSCRIPT: Guido had a timely caption competition this afternoon.

Black Questions: Sauce for the Goose and for the Gander

Extraordinary. Iain Dale is whining. That's not extraordinary. But it is when it is about a new telly show called Any Black Questions (facebook group). Iain seems to be saying he finds this offensive. He has inferred that all the panellists are black. Which may be correct.

But then 100% of the last Question Time panel were white. And 80% male. Farage was a monster raving looney too. And that's not unusual. The BBC have of course just kicked off a season named White.

What is Iain on about? The norm on politics shows is a spectacular white male dominance. If nothing else this show gives some panellists the chance to learn the ropes and transfer with confidence to the mainstream. What's wrong with that?

Manchester: Teenage Pregnancy Implementation Manager

Just a taste of this Shoots and Leaves moment. Or the full advert banged up here, deadline is Monday. Hat tip: Newmania.

Guido Fawkes: Worried About the Integrity of Tax Return

Tax-exile, hedgie, charity commission investigatee, and reactionary loud mouth Paul Staines aka Guido Fawkes aka Mr GuF is worried about the integrity of his tax return. And that it could fall into enemy hands. Fat chance when there isn't one! Same presumably goes for Lord Ashcroft who is yet to make good on the promises that were the crux of his case for ennoblement.

Of course the William Hague supported Lord Shark is now doing Tory porridge as robber press baron. While Lord Cashcroft, also supported by Mr Hague, polishes his gross of Victoria Crosses. Awarded for the sort of courage and patriotism in conflict which Lord Mick has never himself shown.

Speaking of conflict GuF seems to have forgotten the stalwart peace-making duties of Prezza during the Brown-Blair years. After that Armenia ought to be a complete doddle. Should win by a KO in the first.

Iain Dale: From Cheers to Jeers in 9.5 Hours

LOL asked the question here. Iain Dale provided the expected answer here.
Lib Dems are heroes for defying the strange whims of Mr Whippy Clogg. But Ken Clarke is a Zero for honouring his personal commitment to Europe and his clear understanding that Lisbon is a side show. The wit of Dale's topsy turvy world.

Cllr Leech MP: "Clogg For Leader" Champ as Backstabber

When it is Council Day in Manchester and PMQs and such in Westminster the likes of Cllr John Leech have a problem. Where should they take their seat for scowling and nodding off? In the house? Or in the chamber? This time the councillor for Chorlton Park, who has recently owned up that he'll be keeping his word and giving way to Mrs Nepotismi, chose Westminster. Hurrah!

Then, according to Iain Dale's list he made a career move to die for, defying a 3-line whip requiring abstention. With approximately the 63rd least desired job in the team - responsible for leaves on roads and pavement bobbles - it's hard to see how chump Clogg will discipline him.

Iain's list goes thusly:

Brooke, Annette
Carmichael, Mr. Alistair
Farron, Tim
George, Andrew
Gidley, Sandra
Hancock, Mr. Mike
Heath, Mr. David
Hemming, John
Holmes, Paul
Horwood, Martin
Leech, John
Mulholland, Greg
Pugh, Dr. John
Williams, Mark
Younger-Ross, Mr. Richard

Fifteeen. Though two of them are imposters. Can you spot them*? I wonder how these cross check these folk with the Huhnies?? Leech of course supported Clegg when claiming to be 100% behind Kennedy, Huhne when Clegg cried off, and then Clegg in the latest musical leaders.

Iain will no doubt continue to support breaking a party whip in this kind of way as "the right thing" when it is Tories doing it?

LOL tend to when it is Left Labour and Centre Left MPs doing it - for example against the war - but I'd be furious if right wingers were serially voting down progressive bills. So I do understand the importance of discipline. And do continue to expect the comrades to rebel sparingly.

* DOH UPDATE: Iain Dale edited his list to remove Colin Burgon (Labour) and Gregory Campbell (DUP) while also adding a couple more Fibs. I fell for it. Sorry.

Sky News Graphics: Before and After Pics for Farron

Looks like Tim Farron (before, fresh faced) plus two alternative futures. One if he adopts beard and sandals, the other if he goes for the old forked tongue and pock marked modernity. Ghastly prospects both.

Former Tory Chair: NO to "Norris to Boris" Downgrade

Lib Dems celebrate defection of London Conservatives high up Dirk Hazell who despairs at "the Norris to Boris downgrade". Addled when it comes to remarks on Labour. But far from ga-ga when dissing Boris "Watermelon Smile" Johnson. Looks like Paddick did consider standing as a Tory (penultimate question) but baulked despite Winston. In respect for Mum's feelings.

BBC Pro-Cam Bias: Dawn Butler MP as Dale Squeals Foul

If you're going to criticize Cam's Conservatives on Iain Dale's watch you'd better don a hard hat. Iain Dale points up the BBC's obvious pro-Cameron bias. As raised by the famous Dawn Butler MP. Mr Dale fibs manfully that he's never heard of her. Apart presumably from these three recent references from the BBC-outed Tory Boy Blogger, e.g. slamming Boris "Picanniny" Johnson.

Cash on the Nail: How the Tories Treat Inner Cities

"You couldn’t make it up" concludes Cllr Iain Lindley in a rather petty, rather inaccurate, rather made up, attack on Salford MP and CLG Minister Hazel Blears. Our thrusting Salford Tory draws attention to a rather petty Sam Coates piece on Red Box. This concludes with an inaccurate spiel:

Hazel, in particular, related a frankly rather unpleasant tale of how she ambushed Daid Cameron at Salford "Lad's Club". He was there to get an autograph from members of The Smiths, who were performing. So the Communities Secretary organised an ambush mob with signs saying "Oi Dave - Eton's Lads' Club is 300 miles that way" and "Salford Lads not Eton snobs". He was forced out the back door and went home without an autograph.
And that night I sent him a photo of me outside Salford's Lads' Club, with greetings from Salford!
Charming...

What do the words "ambush mob" conjure up? Something rather like the running clashes of the Battle of Trimdon Green in the Sedgefield By-election? In fact this ambush mob comprised two or three stalwarts with scruffy signs occupying the ground just in front of the iconic Salford Lads Club to prevent Cam getting a propaganda snap, aping the original and best by my old mate Steve Wright. Cam went in and out by the back door. The autograph denial line is I think spurious Tory twaddle.

In comments Iain Lindley draws attention to more of his own propaganda and to the utterly ridiculous findings of the utterly ridiculous Channel M, a so-called community TV station. These were that they couldn't find anyone in the area who supported the protest. More likely that they couldn't find anyone in the area that had even heard of Channel M (total viewers ... two).

The area is not deemed worthy of receiving the local Salford Advertiser freesheet which plugs its broadcast stablemate: Granada's mini-me rather than a useful outlet for communities. A likely response would have been: "Let him come, but we remember Thatcher's destruction of our industry and our lives, and we'll not be voting for any Tory party round here."

This would particularly be the case if/when Cam's Conservatives put up another eligible socialite ladette like Bill Cash's daughter Laetitia Cash/Gunn - I kid you not - to take on Taste of Honey's gritty, realistic urchin Hazel Blears.

Laetitia has no respect for others whatsoever and flashes the gnashers but doesn't flash the cash.

She is around 40th on the Eh List and in a similar position on Tatler's list of society faces.

Green Transport Plan: Anti-Green Green Inkers Rumbled

A couple or three weeks ago the Manchester Evening News provided a list of businesses supposedly involved in something called Greater Manchester Momentum Group (GMMG) - all keen as mustard to derail the greening of Manchester road movements through time targeted fees to drive at peak times.

One of these businesses was allegedly big-five accountant Deloitte. Dave Ottewell has recovered from his urinal trauma and brings news that Deloitte are not remotely happy to be included among supporters of the un-Green green inkers:

A Deloitte partner has now written to leaders of the 10 Greater Manchester councils not only dissociating themselves from GMMG's latest letter, but pointing out the company is "not opposed" to road pricing and is indeed "proud to have been the delivery partner" for other congestion charge schemes.

How many more household names "associated" with these attempts to wreck Greater Manchester's green travel plans have had their names taken in vain?

Meanwhile there are signs on the ground here in Chorlton, M21 of preparatory work on road bridges and so on ready for a spring into action on the Metrolink tram services for our area. Hurrah!

Emergency Petition: Calling for Ceasefire in Gaza

I just signed an emergency petition calling for an immediate ceasefire to protect civilians. If you think this is a good idea, please visit AVAAZ here.

Dave Ottewell Exclusive: Pissed Off at Wonderwall

Dave Ottewell of the Manchester Evening News may have lynched an anomalous urinal user - he doesn't dare say. But could it be he acted as judge, jury and executioner without a full and frank deduction, and killed an innocent man? The supposed crime? Unnecessarily using the middle urinal in a bay of three. Breaking all the established laws of Piss-ics. But what's this?

ALBERT EINSTEIN WRITES: The man may have been a hangover from a set of urinals which were momentarily full with three users having been approached correctly. Obviously he must have been the third user under Ottewell Law One and Law Two, neglecting Law Three for the sneaky use of sit down facilities. And as third user would on average have been the sole survivor. Until that is Ottewell rocked up with his killer streak.

Hysterical Tory Bloggers: LOL Equals Comical Ali

Oh deary me. Iain Dale got a police PR visit approximately eight hours and several hysterical follow up calls after reporting an outbuildings "burglary", or possibly theft of roof covering, but meanwhile the ever sanguine loon-blogger and local Tory activist - but alas not elected representative or candidate - Paul Newman (no relation, but some scoping here from Bloggerheads) has compared yours truly in comments to Muhammed Saeed al-Sahaf, the comical former Iraqi Information Minister. This was over my futile attempts to suggest some sense of proportion was needed on police attendance at such minor crime scenes.

Of course the good works of Sir Ronnie Flanagan, the "no names, no pack drill, no paperwork" hero of the Omagh investigation is being used widely by rabid Tories in evidence of the need to cut non-essential paperwork.

Iain Dale: Has Been Burgled, Twenty Hours Ago

Oh dear. Iain Dale's outbuildings have been burgled. Not seven hours ago though. That's a fib. It was 12 or more hours before that more than likely.

Having been burgled a number of times, three times in one year being the worst spate - until we got are rather big, barky dogs that is - I sympathise.

But it must be said that even directing traffic or reinforcing the Met at a London derby football match - like the one Iain has been sobbing at this afternoon - are activities that require live police from West Kent more than a burglary that has taken place.

Possibly 12 hours before even being reported, in which no-one was harmed or even scared, in which there are no eye witnesses, in which - though you don't say - nothing much was gone apart from £400 of lead off the roof. Off the roof of some media tart's outbuildings.

If there are worthwhile forensic clues; if the guys that do great train robberies and bullion raids have a moment; and they do decide to send a SOCO they'll quite likely still be some clues there.

The last time the police didn't attend our place when they arguably should have done was when I had a good look at a big crack-addled burglar chappie checking out the back of our house.

Including full face, close up. In broad day light. And with the call within seconds of the miscreant leaving the scene. They have neither sent an officer nor even taken much of a description over the 'phone.

It is of course possible that they knew immediately from release schedules or the basic description who this was or had even picked them up. This is also possible in your case Iain.

We have far more police now than under the Tories. The unnecessary paperwork that has grown up under successive governments - not just Labour - apparently accounts for 3% of police time. Which is less than the circa 15% uplift in numbers.

If Iain Dale can explain why the police should prioritise a bitty blogger burglary over anything else I'd be interested to read it.

And if he could reassure us that he at no point told them he is a top boy blogger, Total Pants publisher and occasional Telegraph op-ed writer and would feature their incompetence en blog I'd be very relieved indeed.

Heavenly Hansard Typos: And Official School Trips

Some loverly typos spotted by Ditzy yesterday right here and also an indication that the government school wallahs do listen and have finally been to Finland. Where school education is cool, results are exemplary and they have retention to 18 of about 98% and further/higher thereafter towards 70%. Until recently they hadn't been to Heavenly Helsinki.

Lucy Powell: Guardian Blogging on the Casino

Lucy Powell's third Guardian blog post leads on the consolation prize for the casino let down here. All down to John Leech and his sanctimonious MP chums from leafy suburbs. Plus the Blackpool posse. Who seemingly failed to notice that their bid was last. They were not close.

This is LOL not Lucy talking. Mr Leech is ignoring the desperate joblessness, over two and three generations in Openshaw, Clayton, Ancoats and Bradford which a leisure-anchored development could tackle with a good supply of C1C2D walk to work jobs of the range unlikely to ensue from any government office.

NOT TRIVIA: The Rev Leech was not even born when the famous Bradford Colliery was closed down on Friday, 6 September 1968. Eye witnesses tell me the workforce went off on their "wakes" and came back to find themselves locked out and redundant. The pit was still very rich in reserves, employed 1500 men, but was causing subsidence.

I was told that the clincher was the erection of the CIS building under which vicinity the workings were planned to extend. But that's not quite right as the tower was opened in 1962.

Breaking News: 14 MP Reprimand on Donations

Oh dear oh dear. Including Nick Clegg - now reprimanded in just two weeks for two £15,000 totals recorded late. And David Cameron - only now declaring a whirlybird ride in 2005. Plus Spelman, Huhne and ten others.

Young Turks: The 2005 Committee Wants to KO Conway

Reports Iain Dale. Inspiration perhaps from the Backbench 1922 Committee formed after the 1923 election precipitated by a 1922 move to break coalition with the Liberals.

This might be seen - in conjunction with Cam's bad fist of PMQs this week - as an attempt at a Clause 4 Moment. A year or so out from a General Election.

EXCLUSIVE Time Travel: When Harry Met Mummy

The Society of Editors drew a veil over Harry's deployment to Afghanistan, but they have missed the above evidence of time travel by the young yahboo.

Tory Donors: Why Do Coleshill Donate Thousands?

Wouldn't it be interesting to find out who exactly is behind "Coleshill Campaigning Services" with decades of experience campaigning against Labour and the Lib Dems who are apparently giving so much to the Conservatives. In the form of office accommodation allegedly worth almost £20,000 per quarter. £40,000 per quarter in all, according to this anonymous comment.

The BBC Politics Show, West Midlands explains why Coleshill could be at the epicentre of a Tory money-throwing Failure to progress.

No Smoke Without Fire: The Fat Owl of the Remove

Light-fingered Boris Johnson MP nicked some nick-knacks from the battlefield in 2003. From a condemned man's lodgings as confessed in the Torygraph. Question is, as he is fessing up to this outrageous looting will he now provide a full list of all items stolen? Instead of protesting inanely that the Art and Antiques Unit of the Met should be working on jay walking and double parking?

Hat tip: Cllr Bob Piper.

Iain Dale 'Reheats': Same Old Same Old Tory Moaning

Iain Dale reheats the old Tory cry about "re-announcements". Leaving aside the sloppiness of the examples given of this phenomenon it's an attempt at cheap points anyway.

If we assume that Iain Dale is an intelligent man who has been round the political block a few times you'd think he's understand that "re-announcement" is in the nature of these things.

Here for example are ten "announcements" that might form part of the gestation and birth of an idea:

1. Consultations
2. Policy forum
3. Conference
4. Green paper
5. White paper
6. First Reading
etc through HoPs
7. Law passed
8. Pilots run
9. Pilots appraised
10. Roll out/Mainstream

If Tory Bloggers (and indeed historic Tory govts) have a way of doing this without several mentions then perhaps Iain could share it?

Iain Dale: Are the Tories Becoming a National Party Again?

In a word Iain Dale the answer would be: NO!!

Dizzy: Supposedly Thinks Before Posting, Not This Time

Dizzy manages a Eats Shoots and Leaves headline: Stealing Tory Arguments and Praising Dictators before mangling arguments in both parts of his treatise. Just a core dump from a Dizzy head. Not an instance of corroboration or context.

Queen's Silver Jubilee: Two Wrongs Don't Make a Right

Two wrongs do not make a right. But hey ho. If it is a straight choice between ignoring (or not) the notable anniversary of a young man's victory at all costs, then the celebration wins. Wikipedia. Luke Akehurst, centre right, with fingers in all the pies.

Sarko: Tells Pauvre Proletarian to "Sod Off", On Camera

Derby Day: 300 Simultaneous Defectors? No, Sorry, 25

Losing three hundred valued Labour members to the Tories in one fell swoop seemed a little unlikely. Though as we reported it was not going down well in ever-decreasing Tory circles anyway. A clever chap called James Maskell at Conservative Home commented thusly:

I would urge caution. If it sounds too good to be true, then it probably is. I would put money on it that they all know each other. Its a basic political tool to sign up a political party in order to create change from the inside. Espionage and spying are key tactics in political subterfuge to gain advantage.
Posted by: James Maskell | February 24, 2008 at 13:50

In fact as local press reports after the "mass defection" it was a bit of a damp squib. Just one councillor crossed. And only about two dozen ordinary members. And the Tory deputy leader is standing down.

Thanks to Graeme Smith for the tip off. He says he'd rather cut off his toes than join the Tories. He switched from Lib Dem member to Labour when he found he was still minded to vote Labour! Graeme is now a councillor.

Derby Day: Three Hundred Simultaneous Defectors?

Sheikh Mohammed has long since entered the establishment, above on a traditional Derby Day.

A plot for entryism from some 300 Labourites on a less traditional Derby Day is however causing some consternation in Tory Circles.

Conservative Modernity: Lady T's Bust Goes on Display

Apparently Lady T's bust is to be on permanent display in reception at CCHQ. Seems a bit risqué and blue that. But that's the modern cuddly new tories for you.

Auschwitz Gimmick: Cameron & Osborne as Lame Ducks

When my daughter and her schoolmates went on a school trip to Auschwitz last year, age 14, it was parents who footed the bill. Around £200 for a few days as I recall. This cost must have affected which students were able to make the immensely valuable trip. The Government plan to subsidise such educational visits, and specifically this one, is hardly a gimmick. The money could be directed at those most in need of support to provide free trips rather than general subsidy. My only quibble with the scheme is that it is directed only at sixth formers.

The Guardian slam Cameron here and again here for his thoughtless folly. With Michael White eavesdropping a failure in comprehension from CCHQ that there is even a problem linking the words "Auschwitz" and "gimmick". Reading between the lines I don't think even Guido believes that Cameron is not responsible or that this gaffe is not a gaffe.

To be fair every one of this PDF list of "gimmicks", with Auschwitz at No 4, comes in pretty rich from Cam.

The man who flew in a Carbon-belching executive jet to commune with Huskies; who went to great lengths to reap a whirlwind of guffaws for a half arsed wind turbine; who had a car or cars trail his PR bicycle, at least wearing a fetching helmet unlike Boris; who overnighted with an Asian family but imposed a phoney Tory for his cult-of-personality new party; and let's not forget the opportunity to referendum for more loos.

As Dominic Lawson pointed out last August that Cameron needs to learn the ropes if he's going to trade in gimmicks. With this insight into the Saatchi/Hilton/Cameron Axis of Gimmickry:

It was one of the men who helped get Mrs Thatcher into power, Lord Saatchi, who this week landed the most savage blow on Mr Cameron. The great master of the brand image declared that the "modern, compassionate Conservative Party" did not seem to realise that "a political party is not a brand." Saatchi analysed Cameron's method to date and asserted it to be little more than an exercise in "brand decontamination". "Unfortunately," said Saatchi, "the nature of the supposed strain of contamination - 'nastiness' - is irrelevant to electoral outcomes.
It is a truth universally not acknowledged that politics is about money ... there is only one discriminator between electoral success and failure - the party rating for economic competence."
You need to know a little personal history to understand the passion in this brutal critique. It's not that Maurice Saatchi was Conservative Party chairman under the previous leader, Michael Howard - although he was. It is that Mr Cameron's strategy of "brand decontamination" - ridiculed by Saatchi as "nicey-nicey" - is entirely the creation of his "special adviser", Steve Hilton. Mr Hilton is a former protégé of Lord Saatchi - the advertising magnate recruited him to his agency, and reportedly said that "no one reminds me as much of me when young as Steve." The two men fell out during the 2002 Conservative Party conference, allegedly because Mr Hilton did not agree with Saatchi's insistence on tougher policy commitments - and the peer eventually disposed of his services.

This is presumably why - alongside their own gimmicks and lies - Cam and Goo continue to launch silly attack after silly attack on financial events which the Great British public ignore, like water off a duck's back. Are this "dream team" of a new relaxed conservatism - that we never actually believed in - quietly or rather manically becoming a pair of lame ducks?

Northern Rock: It's All George Osborne's Fault

Well, not quite; but PoliticalHackUK reports some poll results which support the complete vindication theory of the Rock and the Hard Place. Around 80% of the public in all rightly hold a factor or factors other than the skilled handling of a complex problem by the Treasury as being responsible.

Doctor Emmanuele: Ten Years Search For The G Spot

The Guardian report that a Dr Emmanuele Jannini has established a further medical basis for the G Spot, or Not which the Tories and GuF have so spectacularly failed to hit on Northern Rock. Doctor Emmanuele who sports a remarkable amount of facial hair for a hot soft porn babe (above) considers herself born to be a sex doctor. She has subtly changed her spelling to avoid litigation from the official two LL franchise.

Hat tip: Political Hack UK. Diagram: New Scientist 2002.

Speaker of the House: Who Is Next For the High Chair?

Adam Boulton's crew are suggesting a couple of Tories to take over from Gorbals Mick should he cross over to the ermine. But who would Labour put up? For the next year or so Bob Marshall-Andrews would make a superbly skilled speaker, picking up a reward for backing Brown rather than Campaign Group colleague McDonnell. But Denis Skinner could be rather better value. And Diane Abbott would be a ground-breaking choice.

Norman Baker MP: Hollywood Fantasy Screenplay?

Comments over at Dizzy's suggest that Norman Baker MP's bill for book-researching Written Parliamentary Questions alone could be £54,000. Plus the £32,000 we calculated for his own and office time compiling the things. And then there are the Freedom of Information requests. And any time involved in writing the damned book.

[spoiler alert]Suggestion even that a Hollywood Fantasy screenplay is even now taking shape in the Palace of Westminster. When My Left Foot came out my own mother informed a stunned household that this was about "an heroic mother". So Baker's screenplay is about the sleuth uncovering the conspiracy rather than the poor dead scientist, featured only in swirly flashback mode. Baker to be played by Jack Black, Kelly by Daniel Day Lewis, who else? I believe "Baker/Black" wakes up at the end and all the toss in the book turned out to be just a dream. In fact Baker/Black had been hypnotised by Al Queda's Osama Bin Laden (John Cleese) and done the deed himself. Quite a 'reveal' there at the end.[/spoiler alert]

Guido Fawkes: Another Rubbish Graph and Analysis

Guido has published a classic "look mum no brains" graph which makes little sense. The figures are real enough but highly selective and with insufficient data for worthwhile analysis. Even for his own worthless analysis. GuF claims that Northern Rock actually has the worst mortgage book in the business.

This spurious conclusion is based on a comparison of absolute number of delinquent mortgages with four other lenders - but not Nationwide, or Halifax, or A&L, or AIB, or even RBS/Nat West.

Under water-boarding torture the GuFster has admitted in comments that rather than gathering the data himself as he implies he nicked it from a comment at Housepricecrash.co.uk.

These mysterious folk are predicting a house price crash literally TEN TIMES the quantum of the average change for the blue chip predictors. And the latter have the change going upward.

Blue chip and LOL say: 3.5% growth. HPC and GuF say: 35% crash. Now it is speculation but I would guess that the people behind this site and GuF himself are betting on a crash and stand to gain handsomely if there is one. Guido will no doubt deny this vehemently if it is not true.

UPDATE: Guido has added a proper hat tip, shock. Looks like GuF has not only bottled the scrap with Manic but also turned over a new leaf as an honest broker. Credit where credit's due as it were.

Question Time: PPC Greg Stone Was the Twit at the End

Lib Dems always claim their glasses are half empty. Should their Sedgefield Candidate Focus on glasses or lenses to accept defeat on Thursday night?
	He should wear Glasses
	He should wear Lenses
	He is away with the Fairies
	Who cares?
pollcode.com free polls

Greg Stone, the failed Lib Dem PPC in Sedgefield pointed out on Lib Dem Voice that he was in tonight's audience. More than this, he got more-or-less the last word and made some rather empty schoolboy point. What a waste of such an opportunity. He chose the "with glasses option" this time out.

Shaos Theory: Hob Nobbling Bloggers Cause Quakes?

Chaos Theory would have us believe that a butterfly flitting through the Amazon rainforest may cause a Tornado somewhere in the West Midlands.

Iain Dale highlights a very special case of this phenomenon, accepting the word of Shlomo Benizri, of the ultra-Orthodox Jewish Shas party of Israel, that earthquakes in the region are in fact caused by inappropriate "genital shaking" in Tonbridge Wells. Noble Mr Dale has taken a vow of chastity henceforth.

Certainly Mr Dale's most useful and amusing post for a week.

Crying Wolf Dinner: A Showcase for Lib Dem MP Diversity

Tonight's Lib Dem Function in Manchester is for the Crying Wolf Fund. The flier boasts the mug shots of eight attending M(E)Ps. Snow White plus the seven dweebs of the North West. At a glance one can see the tremendous success of the Party's Diversity Strategy. Fortunately the Crying Wolf Fund isn't in aid of that. It's for what passes for "fighting the BNP" in Lib Dem circles. More later.

Norman Baker MP: Dizzy Says £8,000, LOL Says £40,000

Dizzy wants to send Libdemologist conspiracy theorist and whacko Norman Baker (right) a bill for £8,000 in Parliamentary Questions as blatant research for his David Kelly book. This figure is based on the cost of answering such questions - all outside any portfolio he held or his constituency interest. There's also his time drafting 54 confounding questions, relevant staff time, office space and overheads. And all the rest of it.

Let's say it is three weeks' work. That is say £4,000 for starters, or with the expenses overhead of around 300% £16,000, and with the House of Commons overhead doubling the salary and costs -> £32,000. Plus Dizzy's £8,000 marginal cost. We must hope that no parliamentarian time or overhead was spent thunking up, typing, editing, touting and launching the book.
That would be in addition. Didn't he take a bit of a sabbatical? From holding any portfolio and blah de blah to write the thing, and to go out swivel-eyed into the media world bigging it up? Perhaps lying down in a darkened room would have been a better option.