Guido Fawkes: Worried About the Integrity of Tax Return

Tax-exile, hedgie, charity commission investigatee, and reactionary loud mouth Paul Staines aka Guido Fawkes aka Mr GuF is worried about the integrity of his tax return. And that it could fall into enemy hands. Fat chance when there isn't one! Same presumably goes for Lord Ashcroft who is yet to make good on the promises that were the crux of his case for ennoblement.

Of course the William Hague supported Lord Shark is now doing Tory porridge as robber press baron. While Lord Cashcroft, also supported by Mr Hague, polishes his gross of Victoria Crosses. Awarded for the sort of courage and patriotism in conflict which Lord Mick has never himself shown.

Speaking of conflict GuF seems to have forgotten the stalwart peace-making duties of Prezza during the Brown-Blair years. After that Armenia ought to be a complete doddle. Should win by a KO in the first.

Iain Dale: From Cheers to Jeers in 9.5 Hours

LOL asked the question here. Iain Dale provided the expected answer here.
Lib Dems are heroes for defying the strange whims of Mr Whippy Clogg. But Ken Clarke is a Zero for honouring his personal commitment to Europe and his clear understanding that Lisbon is a side show. The wit of Dale's topsy turvy world.

Cllr Leech MP: "Clogg For Leader" Champ as Backstabber

When it is Council Day in Manchester and PMQs and such in Westminster the likes of Cllr John Leech have a problem. Where should they take their seat for scowling and nodding off? In the house? Or in the chamber? This time the councillor for Chorlton Park, who has recently owned up that he'll be keeping his word and giving way to Mrs Nepotismi, chose Westminster. Hurrah!

Then, according to Iain Dale's list he made a career move to die for, defying a 3-line whip requiring abstention. With approximately the 63rd least desired job in the team - responsible for leaves on roads and pavement bobbles - it's hard to see how chump Clogg will discipline him.

Iain's list goes thusly:

Brooke, Annette
Carmichael, Mr. Alistair
Farron, Tim
George, Andrew
Gidley, Sandra
Hancock, Mr. Mike
Heath, Mr. David
Hemming, John
Holmes, Paul
Horwood, Martin
Leech, John
Mulholland, Greg
Pugh, Dr. John
Williams, Mark
Younger-Ross, Mr. Richard

Fifteeen. Though two of them are imposters. Can you spot them*? I wonder how these cross check these folk with the Huhnies?? Leech of course supported Clegg when claiming to be 100% behind Kennedy, Huhne when Clegg cried off, and then Clegg in the latest musical leaders.

Iain will no doubt continue to support breaking a party whip in this kind of way as "the right thing" when it is Tories doing it?

LOL tend to when it is Left Labour and Centre Left MPs doing it - for example against the war - but I'd be furious if right wingers were serially voting down progressive bills. So I do understand the importance of discipline. And do continue to expect the comrades to rebel sparingly.

* DOH UPDATE: Iain Dale edited his list to remove Colin Burgon (Labour) and Gregory Campbell (DUP) while also adding a couple more Fibs. I fell for it. Sorry.

Sky News Graphics: Before and After Pics for Farron

Looks like Tim Farron (before, fresh faced) plus two alternative futures. One if he adopts beard and sandals, the other if he goes for the old forked tongue and pock marked modernity. Ghastly prospects both.

Former Tory Chair: NO to "Norris to Boris" Downgrade

Lib Dems celebrate defection of London Conservatives high up Dirk Hazell who despairs at "the Norris to Boris downgrade". Addled when it comes to remarks on Labour. But far from ga-ga when dissing Boris "Watermelon Smile" Johnson. Looks like Paddick did consider standing as a Tory (penultimate question) but baulked despite Winston. In respect for Mum's feelings.

BBC Pro-Cam Bias: Dawn Butler MP as Dale Squeals Foul

If you're going to criticize Cam's Conservatives on Iain Dale's watch you'd better don a hard hat. Iain Dale points up the BBC's obvious pro-Cameron bias. As raised by the famous Dawn Butler MP. Mr Dale fibs manfully that he's never heard of her. Apart presumably from these three recent references from the BBC-outed Tory Boy Blogger, e.g. slamming Boris "Picanniny" Johnson.

Cash on the Nail: How the Tories Treat Inner Cities

"You couldn’t make it up" concludes Cllr Iain Lindley in a rather petty, rather inaccurate, rather made up, attack on Salford MP and CLG Minister Hazel Blears. Our thrusting Salford Tory draws attention to a rather petty Sam Coates piece on Red Box. This concludes with an inaccurate spiel:

Hazel, in particular, related a frankly rather unpleasant tale of how she ambushed Daid Cameron at Salford "Lad's Club". He was there to get an autograph from members of The Smiths, who were performing. So the Communities Secretary organised an ambush mob with signs saying "Oi Dave - Eton's Lads' Club is 300 miles that way" and "Salford Lads not Eton snobs". He was forced out the back door and went home without an autograph.
And that night I sent him a photo of me outside Salford's Lads' Club, with greetings from Salford!
Charming...

What do the words "ambush mob" conjure up? Something rather like the running clashes of the Battle of Trimdon Green in the Sedgefield By-election? In fact this ambush mob comprised two or three stalwarts with scruffy signs occupying the ground just in front of the iconic Salford Lads Club to prevent Cam getting a propaganda snap, aping the original and best by my old mate Steve Wright. Cam went in and out by the back door. The autograph denial line is I think spurious Tory twaddle.

In comments Iain Lindley draws attention to more of his own propaganda and to the utterly ridiculous findings of the utterly ridiculous Channel M, a so-called community TV station. These were that they couldn't find anyone in the area who supported the protest. More likely that they couldn't find anyone in the area that had even heard of Channel M (total viewers ... two).

The area is not deemed worthy of receiving the local Salford Advertiser freesheet which plugs its broadcast stablemate: Granada's mini-me rather than a useful outlet for communities. A likely response would have been: "Let him come, but we remember Thatcher's destruction of our industry and our lives, and we'll not be voting for any Tory party round here."

This would particularly be the case if/when Cam's Conservatives put up another eligible socialite ladette like Bill Cash's daughter Laetitia Cash/Gunn - I kid you not - to take on Taste of Honey's gritty, realistic urchin Hazel Blears.

Laetitia has no respect for others whatsoever and flashes the gnashers but doesn't flash the cash.

She is around 40th on the Eh List and in a similar position on Tatler's list of society faces.

Green Transport Plan: Anti-Green Green Inkers Rumbled

A couple or three weeks ago the Manchester Evening News provided a list of businesses supposedly involved in something called Greater Manchester Momentum Group (GMMG) - all keen as mustard to derail the greening of Manchester road movements through time targeted fees to drive at peak times.

One of these businesses was allegedly big-five accountant Deloitte. Dave Ottewell has recovered from his urinal trauma and brings news that Deloitte are not remotely happy to be included among supporters of the un-Green green inkers:

A Deloitte partner has now written to leaders of the 10 Greater Manchester councils not only dissociating themselves from GMMG's latest letter, but pointing out the company is "not opposed" to road pricing and is indeed "proud to have been the delivery partner" for other congestion charge schemes.

How many more household names "associated" with these attempts to wreck Greater Manchester's green travel plans have had their names taken in vain?

Meanwhile there are signs on the ground here in Chorlton, M21 of preparatory work on road bridges and so on ready for a spring into action on the Metrolink tram services for our area. Hurrah!

Emergency Petition: Calling for Ceasefire in Gaza

I just signed an emergency petition calling for an immediate ceasefire to protect civilians. If you think this is a good idea, please visit AVAAZ here.

Dave Ottewell Exclusive: Pissed Off at Wonderwall

Dave Ottewell of the Manchester Evening News may have lynched an anomalous urinal user - he doesn't dare say. But could it be he acted as judge, jury and executioner without a full and frank deduction, and killed an innocent man? The supposed crime? Unnecessarily using the middle urinal in a bay of three. Breaking all the established laws of Piss-ics. But what's this?

ALBERT EINSTEIN WRITES: The man may have been a hangover from a set of urinals which were momentarily full with three users having been approached correctly. Obviously he must have been the third user under Ottewell Law One and Law Two, neglecting Law Three for the sneaky use of sit down facilities. And as third user would on average have been the sole survivor. Until that is Ottewell rocked up with his killer streak.

Hysterical Tory Bloggers: LOL Equals Comical Ali

Oh deary me. Iain Dale got a police PR visit approximately eight hours and several hysterical follow up calls after reporting an outbuildings "burglary", or possibly theft of roof covering, but meanwhile the ever sanguine loon-blogger and local Tory activist - but alas not elected representative or candidate - Paul Newman (no relation, but some scoping here from Bloggerheads) has compared yours truly in comments to Muhammed Saeed al-Sahaf, the comical former Iraqi Information Minister. This was over my futile attempts to suggest some sense of proportion was needed on police attendance at such minor crime scenes.

Of course the good works of Sir Ronnie Flanagan, the "no names, no pack drill, no paperwork" hero of the Omagh investigation is being used widely by rabid Tories in evidence of the need to cut non-essential paperwork.

Iain Dale: Has Been Burgled, Twenty Hours Ago

Oh dear. Iain Dale's outbuildings have been burgled. Not seven hours ago though. That's a fib. It was 12 or more hours before that more than likely.

Having been burgled a number of times, three times in one year being the worst spate - until we got are rather big, barky dogs that is - I sympathise.

But it must be said that even directing traffic or reinforcing the Met at a London derby football match - like the one Iain has been sobbing at this afternoon - are activities that require live police from West Kent more than a burglary that has taken place.

Possibly 12 hours before even being reported, in which no-one was harmed or even scared, in which there are no eye witnesses, in which - though you don't say - nothing much was gone apart from £400 of lead off the roof. Off the roof of some media tart's outbuildings.

If there are worthwhile forensic clues; if the guys that do great train robberies and bullion raids have a moment; and they do decide to send a SOCO they'll quite likely still be some clues there.

The last time the police didn't attend our place when they arguably should have done was when I had a good look at a big crack-addled burglar chappie checking out the back of our house.

Including full face, close up. In broad day light. And with the call within seconds of the miscreant leaving the scene. They have neither sent an officer nor even taken much of a description over the 'phone.

It is of course possible that they knew immediately from release schedules or the basic description who this was or had even picked them up. This is also possible in your case Iain.

We have far more police now than under the Tories. The unnecessary paperwork that has grown up under successive governments - not just Labour - apparently accounts for 3% of police time. Which is less than the circa 15% uplift in numbers.

If Iain Dale can explain why the police should prioritise a bitty blogger burglary over anything else I'd be interested to read it.

And if he could reassure us that he at no point told them he is a top boy blogger, Total Pants publisher and occasional Telegraph op-ed writer and would feature their incompetence en blog I'd be very relieved indeed.

Heavenly Hansard Typos: And Official School Trips

Some loverly typos spotted by Ditzy yesterday right here and also an indication that the government school wallahs do listen and have finally been to Finland. Where school education is cool, results are exemplary and they have retention to 18 of about 98% and further/higher thereafter towards 70%. Until recently they hadn't been to Heavenly Helsinki.

Lucy Powell: Guardian Blogging on the Casino

Lucy Powell's third Guardian blog post leads on the consolation prize for the casino let down here. All down to John Leech and his sanctimonious MP chums from leafy suburbs. Plus the Blackpool posse. Who seemingly failed to notice that their bid was last. They were not close.

This is LOL not Lucy talking. Mr Leech is ignoring the desperate joblessness, over two and three generations in Openshaw, Clayton, Ancoats and Bradford which a leisure-anchored development could tackle with a good supply of C1C2D walk to work jobs of the range unlikely to ensue from any government office.

NOT TRIVIA: The Rev Leech was not even born when the famous Bradford Colliery was closed down on Friday, 6 September 1968. Eye witnesses tell me the workforce went off on their "wakes" and came back to find themselves locked out and redundant. The pit was still very rich in reserves, employed 1500 men, but was causing subsidence.

I was told that the clincher was the erection of the CIS building under which vicinity the workings were planned to extend. But that's not quite right as the tower was opened in 1962.

Breaking News: 14 MP Reprimand on Donations

Oh dear oh dear. Including Nick Clegg - now reprimanded in just two weeks for two £15,000 totals recorded late. And David Cameron - only now declaring a whirlybird ride in 2005. Plus Spelman, Huhne and ten others.

Young Turks: The 2005 Committee Wants to KO Conway

Reports Iain Dale. Inspiration perhaps from the Backbench 1922 Committee formed after the 1923 election precipitated by a 1922 move to break coalition with the Liberals.

This might be seen - in conjunction with Cam's bad fist of PMQs this week - as an attempt at a Clause 4 Moment. A year or so out from a General Election.

EXCLUSIVE Time Travel: When Harry Met Mummy

The Society of Editors drew a veil over Harry's deployment to Afghanistan, but they have missed the above evidence of time travel by the young yahboo.

Tory Donors: Why Do Coleshill Donate Thousands?

Wouldn't it be interesting to find out who exactly is behind "Coleshill Campaigning Services" with decades of experience campaigning against Labour and the Lib Dems who are apparently giving so much to the Conservatives. In the form of office accommodation allegedly worth almost £20,000 per quarter. £40,000 per quarter in all, according to this anonymous comment.

The BBC Politics Show, West Midlands explains why Coleshill could be at the epicentre of a Tory money-throwing Failure to progress.

No Smoke Without Fire: The Fat Owl of the Remove

Light-fingered Boris Johnson MP nicked some nick-knacks from the battlefield in 2003. From a condemned man's lodgings as confessed in the Torygraph. Question is, as he is fessing up to this outrageous looting will he now provide a full list of all items stolen? Instead of protesting inanely that the Art and Antiques Unit of the Met should be working on jay walking and double parking?

Hat tip: Cllr Bob Piper.

Iain Dale 'Reheats': Same Old Same Old Tory Moaning

Iain Dale reheats the old Tory cry about "re-announcements". Leaving aside the sloppiness of the examples given of this phenomenon it's an attempt at cheap points anyway.

If we assume that Iain Dale is an intelligent man who has been round the political block a few times you'd think he's understand that "re-announcement" is in the nature of these things.

Here for example are ten "announcements" that might form part of the gestation and birth of an idea:

1. Consultations
2. Policy forum
3. Conference
4. Green paper
5. White paper
6. First Reading
etc through HoPs
7. Law passed
8. Pilots run
9. Pilots appraised
10. Roll out/Mainstream

If Tory Bloggers (and indeed historic Tory govts) have a way of doing this without several mentions then perhaps Iain could share it?

Iain Dale: Are the Tories Becoming a National Party Again?

In a word Iain Dale the answer would be: NO!!

Dizzy: Supposedly Thinks Before Posting, Not This Time

Dizzy manages a Eats Shoots and Leaves headline: Stealing Tory Arguments and Praising Dictators before mangling arguments in both parts of his treatise. Just a core dump from a Dizzy head. Not an instance of corroboration or context.

Queen's Silver Jubilee: Two Wrongs Don't Make a Right

Two wrongs do not make a right. But hey ho. If it is a straight choice between ignoring (or not) the notable anniversary of a young man's victory at all costs, then the celebration wins. Wikipedia. Luke Akehurst, centre right, with fingers in all the pies.

Sarko: Tells Pauvre Proletarian to "Sod Off", On Camera

Derby Day: 300 Simultaneous Defectors? No, Sorry, 25

Losing three hundred valued Labour members to the Tories in one fell swoop seemed a little unlikely. Though as we reported it was not going down well in ever-decreasing Tory circles anyway. A clever chap called James Maskell at Conservative Home commented thusly:

I would urge caution. If it sounds too good to be true, then it probably is. I would put money on it that they all know each other. Its a basic political tool to sign up a political party in order to create change from the inside. Espionage and spying are key tactics in political subterfuge to gain advantage.
Posted by: James Maskell | February 24, 2008 at 13:50

In fact as local press reports after the "mass defection" it was a bit of a damp squib. Just one councillor crossed. And only about two dozen ordinary members. And the Tory deputy leader is standing down.

Thanks to Graeme Smith for the tip off. He says he'd rather cut off his toes than join the Tories. He switched from Lib Dem member to Labour when he found he was still minded to vote Labour! Graeme is now a councillor.

Derby Day: Three Hundred Simultaneous Defectors?

Sheikh Mohammed has long since entered the establishment, above on a traditional Derby Day.

A plot for entryism from some 300 Labourites on a less traditional Derby Day is however causing some consternation in Tory Circles.

Conservative Modernity: Lady T's Bust Goes on Display

Apparently Lady T's bust is to be on permanent display in reception at CCHQ. Seems a bit risqué and blue that. But that's the modern cuddly new tories for you.

Auschwitz Gimmick: Cameron & Osborne as Lame Ducks

When my daughter and her schoolmates went on a school trip to Auschwitz last year, age 14, it was parents who footed the bill. Around £200 for a few days as I recall. This cost must have affected which students were able to make the immensely valuable trip. The Government plan to subsidise such educational visits, and specifically this one, is hardly a gimmick. The money could be directed at those most in need of support to provide free trips rather than general subsidy. My only quibble with the scheme is that it is directed only at sixth formers.

The Guardian slam Cameron here and again here for his thoughtless folly. With Michael White eavesdropping a failure in comprehension from CCHQ that there is even a problem linking the words "Auschwitz" and "gimmick". Reading between the lines I don't think even Guido believes that Cameron is not responsible or that this gaffe is not a gaffe.

To be fair every one of this PDF list of "gimmicks", with Auschwitz at No 4, comes in pretty rich from Cam.

The man who flew in a Carbon-belching executive jet to commune with Huskies; who went to great lengths to reap a whirlwind of guffaws for a half arsed wind turbine; who had a car or cars trail his PR bicycle, at least wearing a fetching helmet unlike Boris; who overnighted with an Asian family but imposed a phoney Tory for his cult-of-personality new party; and let's not forget the opportunity to referendum for more loos.

As Dominic Lawson pointed out last August that Cameron needs to learn the ropes if he's going to trade in gimmicks. With this insight into the Saatchi/Hilton/Cameron Axis of Gimmickry:

It was one of the men who helped get Mrs Thatcher into power, Lord Saatchi, who this week landed the most savage blow on Mr Cameron. The great master of the brand image declared that the "modern, compassionate Conservative Party" did not seem to realise that "a political party is not a brand." Saatchi analysed Cameron's method to date and asserted it to be little more than an exercise in "brand decontamination". "Unfortunately," said Saatchi, "the nature of the supposed strain of contamination - 'nastiness' - is irrelevant to electoral outcomes.
It is a truth universally not acknowledged that politics is about money ... there is only one discriminator between electoral success and failure - the party rating for economic competence."
You need to know a little personal history to understand the passion in this brutal critique. It's not that Maurice Saatchi was Conservative Party chairman under the previous leader, Michael Howard - although he was. It is that Mr Cameron's strategy of "brand decontamination" - ridiculed by Saatchi as "nicey-nicey" - is entirely the creation of his "special adviser", Steve Hilton. Mr Hilton is a former protégé of Lord Saatchi - the advertising magnate recruited him to his agency, and reportedly said that "no one reminds me as much of me when young as Steve." The two men fell out during the 2002 Conservative Party conference, allegedly because Mr Hilton did not agree with Saatchi's insistence on tougher policy commitments - and the peer eventually disposed of his services.

This is presumably why - alongside their own gimmicks and lies - Cam and Goo continue to launch silly attack after silly attack on financial events which the Great British public ignore, like water off a duck's back. Are this "dream team" of a new relaxed conservatism - that we never actually believed in - quietly or rather manically becoming a pair of lame ducks?

Northern Rock: It's All George Osborne's Fault

Well, not quite; but PoliticalHackUK reports some poll results which support the complete vindication theory of the Rock and the Hard Place. Around 80% of the public in all rightly hold a factor or factors other than the skilled handling of a complex problem by the Treasury as being responsible.

Doctor Emmanuele: Ten Years Search For The G Spot

The Guardian report that a Dr Emmanuele Jannini has established a further medical basis for the G Spot, or Not which the Tories and GuF have so spectacularly failed to hit on Northern Rock. Doctor Emmanuele who sports a remarkable amount of facial hair for a hot soft porn babe (above) considers herself born to be a sex doctor. She has subtly changed her spelling to avoid litigation from the official two LL franchise.

Hat tip: Political Hack UK. Diagram: New Scientist 2002.

Speaker of the House: Who Is Next For the High Chair?

Adam Boulton's crew are suggesting a couple of Tories to take over from Gorbals Mick should he cross over to the ermine. But who would Labour put up? For the next year or so Bob Marshall-Andrews would make a superbly skilled speaker, picking up a reward for backing Brown rather than Campaign Group colleague McDonnell. But Denis Skinner could be rather better value. And Diane Abbott would be a ground-breaking choice.

Norman Baker MP: Hollywood Fantasy Screenplay?

Comments over at Dizzy's suggest that Norman Baker MP's bill for book-researching Written Parliamentary Questions alone could be £54,000. Plus the £32,000 we calculated for his own and office time compiling the things. And then there are the Freedom of Information requests. And any time involved in writing the damned book.

[spoiler alert]Suggestion even that a Hollywood Fantasy screenplay is even now taking shape in the Palace of Westminster. When My Left Foot came out my own mother informed a stunned household that this was about "an heroic mother". So Baker's screenplay is about the sleuth uncovering the conspiracy rather than the poor dead scientist, featured only in swirly flashback mode. Baker to be played by Jack Black, Kelly by Daniel Day Lewis, who else? I believe "Baker/Black" wakes up at the end and all the toss in the book turned out to be just a dream. In fact Baker/Black had been hypnotised by Al Queda's Osama Bin Laden (John Cleese) and done the deed himself. Quite a 'reveal' there at the end.[/spoiler alert]

Guido Fawkes: Another Rubbish Graph and Analysis

Guido has published a classic "look mum no brains" graph which makes little sense. The figures are real enough but highly selective and with insufficient data for worthwhile analysis. Even for his own worthless analysis. GuF claims that Northern Rock actually has the worst mortgage book in the business.

This spurious conclusion is based on a comparison of absolute number of delinquent mortgages with four other lenders - but not Nationwide, or Halifax, or A&L, or AIB, or even RBS/Nat West.

Under water-boarding torture the GuFster has admitted in comments that rather than gathering the data himself as he implies he nicked it from a comment at Housepricecrash.co.uk.

These mysterious folk are predicting a house price crash literally TEN TIMES the quantum of the average change for the blue chip predictors. And the latter have the change going upward.

Blue chip and LOL say: 3.5% growth. HPC and GuF say: 35% crash. Now it is speculation but I would guess that the people behind this site and GuF himself are betting on a crash and stand to gain handsomely if there is one. Guido will no doubt deny this vehemently if it is not true.

UPDATE: Guido has added a proper hat tip, shock. Looks like GuF has not only bottled the scrap with Manic but also turned over a new leaf as an honest broker. Credit where credit's due as it were.

Question Time: PPC Greg Stone Was the Twit at the End

Lib Dems always claim their glasses are half empty. Should their Sedgefield Candidate Focus on glasses or lenses to accept defeat on Thursday night?
	He should wear Glasses
	He should wear Lenses
	He is away with the Fairies
	Who cares?
pollcode.com free polls

Greg Stone, the failed Lib Dem PPC in Sedgefield pointed out on Lib Dem Voice that he was in tonight's audience. More than this, he got more-or-less the last word and made some rather empty schoolboy point. What a waste of such an opportunity. He chose the "with glasses option" this time out.

Shaos Theory: Hob Nobbling Bloggers Cause Quakes?

Chaos Theory would have us believe that a butterfly flitting through the Amazon rainforest may cause a Tornado somewhere in the West Midlands.

Iain Dale highlights a very special case of this phenomenon, accepting the word of Shlomo Benizri, of the ultra-Orthodox Jewish Shas party of Israel, that earthquakes in the region are in fact caused by inappropriate "genital shaking" in Tonbridge Wells. Noble Mr Dale has taken a vow of chastity henceforth.

Certainly Mr Dale's most useful and amusing post for a week.

Crying Wolf Dinner: A Showcase for Lib Dem MP Diversity

Tonight's Lib Dem Function in Manchester is for the Crying Wolf Fund. The flier boasts the mug shots of eight attending M(E)Ps. Snow White plus the seven dweebs of the North West. At a glance one can see the tremendous success of the Party's Diversity Strategy. Fortunately the Crying Wolf Fund isn't in aid of that. It's for what passes for "fighting the BNP" in Lib Dem circles. More later.

Norman Baker MP: Dizzy Says £8,000, LOL Says £40,000

Dizzy wants to send Libdemologist conspiracy theorist and whacko Norman Baker (right) a bill for £8,000 in Parliamentary Questions as blatant research for his David Kelly book. This figure is based on the cost of answering such questions - all outside any portfolio he held or his constituency interest. There's also his time drafting 54 confounding questions, relevant staff time, office space and overheads. And all the rest of it.

Let's say it is three weeks' work. That is say £4,000 for starters, or with the expenses overhead of around 300% £16,000, and with the House of Commons overhead doubling the salary and costs -> £32,000. Plus Dizzy's £8,000 marginal cost. We must hope that no parliamentarian time or overhead was spent thunking up, typing, editing, touting and launching the book.
That would be in addition. Didn't he take a bit of a sabbatical? From holding any portfolio and blah de blah to write the thing, and to go out swivel-eyed into the media world bigging it up? Perhaps lying down in a darkened room would have been a better option.

Manchester Casino: Come in Hazel B, Your Time is Up

If Hazel Blears does not come up with some demonstrably equally good or better ways to regenerate the proposed casino site, at what used to be called Eastlands, presumably Gordon Brown will be giving the casino plan the green light? David Ottewell exclusively reveals another slip between cup and lip.

What do we need? 3,000 jobs. And when do need them? Now! Mostly C1, C2, D walk to work jobs. Yet well paid. Providing immediate starts, careers, and strong local multipliers. We do not need an ABC1 mix that would be the lion's share of a quango or public office. Come on Hazel, deliver for Gordon or give us the Casino.

More Guff from the Gufster: Guido Fawkes Plays Thick

More GuF I'm afraid. Is Guido expecting us to believe he's thick as crusty dung? The Granite/Northern Rock relationship is clear and has been for months. Surely Guido is not so thick that he doesn't know the difference between owning something and having inward and/or outward obligations to partners?

Earlier the dyed-in-the-wool all-mouth-and-not-trousers bully boy was expecting us to believe he was so thick and juvenile - like the freshest and very thickest clotted cream perhaps - that he thought it was clever to split hairs on whether a person or transactions they are allegedly involved in are being investigated by the Metropolitan Police.

Obviously Guido flunked his degree - crashing and burning pitifully from some benighted yorkshire Tech - but there's always lifelong learning to offer a second chance. Would anyone join me in pledging £1 to a Guido Education Trust?

Alex Salmond: State Funded Limo for CurryPolitics?

'Oi, Salmond, pass the Mars Bar Pakoras jimmy, with a good old dollop of tax payer gravy.

Ridiculous Politics catches Salmond using a parliamentary chaffeur and limo on late night curry duty, not to mention to SNP political meetings.

Great stuff from the party of snouts in the trough and lest we forget playing with fire.

Still More Kiddy Politics: Blogger Staines Rings and Runs

Looks like the right wing blogger and bon vivant, now the main source of hot economic analysis for the towering heights of capitalism has rung the bell for round one in a billion dollar scrap - centred on his persistent mendacity and thievery - and immediately thrown in the towel. Tim "Manic" Ireland, the champion, would have mashed the pudgy dipsoid.

More Tory Kiddy Politics: 400 Words When 40 Will Do

Juvenile Manchester Tory letter writers might have said :

"We disagree with Phil Woolas MP raising the issue of persistent marriages between first cousins - particularly prevalent among Pakistanis from rural backgrounds - and accuse him of blowing a dog whistle and pandering to racist elements in his constituency."

What they actually said is a very tedious and malformed rant. I'm surprised that the Manchester Evening News Postbag indulged them quite so much. Perhaps it has been edited down already?

Either way they - Messrs Adlard and Ali - are wrong in various regards. They impugn Mr Woolas by putting words into his mouth that were in fact press concoctions. They refuse to engage with a very serious issue. Are they supporting this kind of nonsense analysis?

Are Adlard and Ali effectively supporting that old tosh? This is of a kind with creationism, literalism and fundamentalism around Biblical texts. The learned Sheik's wishful thinking may say different. But it actually ignores the Quran. This cites the Prophet as commanding to: “marry those who are distant”.

These Tory Toddlers should not resile (like that Mary?) from having the debate. As on Pickled Politics where Bartholemew comments and posts a link to the NY Times which confirms that it is repeated cousin marrying cf toffs, royals and superstitious rural people that brings the dangers.

FOR THE RECORD: Phil Woolas is a tireless fighter against the BNP. And he has very publically slam dunked some local Lib Dems for very specific pandering and mirroring of racist attitudes. Reading his text and explanations is recommended rather than relying on the Daily Mail. First cousin marriage repeated generation upon generation is a very serious problem. Whereas as a one off it has little risk.

Adlard and Ali will very likely get a proper twatting from Phil himself in tomorrow's paper.

Total Propaganda: Iain Dale Skies One on PMQs

Mr Dale's spar on Sky News this evening: "the ever fragrant Julia Hartley-Brewer" as he calls her; scored PMQs Gordon ****; Davey ***; Nicky ***. In the right ballpark I'd say. Following that Dale scored the tap dancing contest Gordon **; Davey ****; Nicky ***. Ridiculous bias or runaway Tory Boy Blogger enthusiasm? Bit of both I'd say.

Even Adam Boulton clearly thought Iain was addled on this one. Pointing out that Gordon's "student union politics" (above, a younger Cam left, with other Oxenford yah boos) was the concept that would stick, that Iain was a silly hypocrite to criticise that soundbite, that Davey had fumbled the ball by letting Clogg go first on Northern Rock, that Gordon looked statesmanlike compared to manic trotty Cam, that the Labour back benches were on good form. Even perhaps that Iain's favourite Freedom of Information Act question was in fact big pants.

Amazing isn't it? Gordon is getting better at this rather irrelevant tap dancing audition, while memory man and song and dance specialist Cam has lost his sparkle. Yet Dale claims Cam is twice as good as Brown? What codswallop!

Hilarious that Boulton was feigning concern that his audience was 80% behind Cam (Gordon 10%, Clogg 3%, None of the Above 7%). CLUE ADAM: Sky News is a highly biased parody "Agenda News". Going where even "Drop the Dead Donkey" feared to tread.

Iain Dale's Diary: PMQs on Sky News at 8.30pm

Iain Dale seems to think that swivel-eyed mania and nastiness won PMQs for the boy David. Not so.

Didn't catch it live today. But I think that Gordon's "student union politics" is on the money. So who dear reader did you think 'WON" this today?

The crankier and more manic Cameron and GOO are on this matter the less people will vote for the Tories. Which is good. So crank it up to 11. Not even "third form" as we used to say in old money. (Year nine). 11 is the approximate age group informing the wit and repartee from the Blues. Put another one-bug on the fire Dear Flashman!

Everyone that could reasonably have been helped in this Northern Rock business has come out if not exactly smiling then at least relieved.

This Freedom of Information gambit from Little Boy Blue seems poor actually. Though "private and confidential" plus "commercial in confidence" is customarily excluded anyway it seems reasonable to cut off the mischief before it begins.

The Tory latter day conversion to the nuclear option on this ailing, very minor, third tier mortgage bank would very clearly have been far far worse. Much as it was attractive momentarily as an alternative to bailing out foolish capitalists it would have hurt working people more. Making the "Dead Man Walking" jibe from the Baronet Sir GOO of Tatton extraordinary.

Answering a question with a question is of course absolutely within the rules of engagement for this particular sport. Why is Iain Dale questioning that? Can he not remember Maggie at the dispatch box? It's meaningless banter and yah boo for the most part. Requiring to have to do it well to be considered by Dale and Co to be a sound PM is like having to undertake a tap dancing audition when you're applying for a professional services job. Pathetic nonsense! Mr Dale should know better than to take this process too seriously.

You might have a laugh as the best-qualified candidate fails to plié to order; but they still get the real job. The preening young principal boy can go swivel. As we say from time to time up here in Manchester.

Tories are looking nasty. Wild-, nay swivel-eyed. The louder they wail the more their toff in-breeding comes to the surface.

Is that an inexcusable personal comment? No. That's just an appropriate way to critique PMQs the way David "end to yah boo politics" Cameron is playing it. This was my take on the real issues of the Rock, yesterday.

Period Drama: Private Equity Lil-lets Pensions Travesty

LOL'll certainly not be buying any more of this product. Hat tip: Unite.

Northern Rock: History Will Vindicate Darling

So says Hopi Sen here. LOL agree 100% with all three predictions.

1. Northern Rock will be a money spinner;
2. Natasha will have time limited effect on Five;
3. Gordon will edge PMQs tomorrow.

Five are going to be on an upward swing anyway because of factors other than the lovely NK so it may be a little difficult to analyse the out turn.

On Nothern Rock old Peston - the former lothario, not short of self-regard - reminded us on Radio 5 Live of this being "his" story, said he agreed with or at least accepted the arguments to be patient until mid January but thought the temporary public ownership should have started then.

So what has changed in the last few weeks for the worse? The share price? Er no. That was already rock bottom. The depositors' lot? Er no. Still sorted. The borrowers' lot? Er no again. The workers' lot? Er no, another few weeks of secure employment before any storms on the horizon.

The Lib Dems? Who cares? The Tories? Well, yes actually, their lot has substantially worsened. They dithered and failed to commit to any coherent stance for longer. Their whining has become more and more nauseating. GOO has got more and more manic, more and more silly, and more and more toff-like.

Clearly the sky has not fallen on anyone's head through the management of events, post cash flow crisis. Clearly households are not really three thousand pounds apiece worse off. We have NR's assets and not just liabilities. Besides it's paper.

The Tories have been crying wolf about this and everything else. The world can now see that. The counter proposal to have let the thing go bump immediately was (a) not what they said at the time and (b) not in the tax payers, depositors, borrowers or workers interests. How would that have benefitted shareholders.

It is George Osborne and David Cameron who have been incompetent. Politically incompetent. And Gordon will punish them tomorrow afternoon for that.

UPDATE: Liam of Cassilis has a different take. Guido has ejaculated prematurely on the same matter.

USA Primaries: Obama Admits Burning Riffs

Six thousand six hundred comments and counting. Clinton team kick Obama for plagiarism. And what comments they are too.

Guido Fawkes: Karl Marx Predicted End is Nigh

Oh dear me. The half-baked prattlings of the right wing libertarian blogger, hedgie, charity commission investigatee, unmitigated self aggrandiser, false prophet, infiltrator of both fascists and SDP, and pernicious tax avoider Paul Staines aka Guido Fawkes aka Mr GuF are, according to the great dramatist himself, to form the new foundation for the decisions of those scaling the towering heights of global capitalism.

This could be the tipping point that Marx was waiting for.

Meanwhile: Speaking of tipping points, a generous hat tip to GuF for pointing his cavalier tifter at Slugger O'Toole and BBC for coverage of the beginnings of the downfall of Paisley Junior. Last time I was in North Antrim the word was the uncharismatic chip off the old block was out of his depth in hot waters over land deals in the Bay which nestles round Giant's Causeway. More anon I'll be bound.

Revolting Tories: Badgering Bullshitter Dave Cam

Country boy - Essex stylee - Iain Dale is actually getting a bit of a kicking over his gung-ho attitude to, unsupported assertions, and superstititious twaddle on badger culling. Including from at least one farmer who is dead set against culls on their land.

As far as I can recall one of the small farmer USPs that gets trotted out all the time to justify extension of subsidies, even an application to join the public sector pay roll, is the old "guardian of the countryside, creator and saviour of animal habitats" one.

Clearly there is some - probably modest - connection between some badgers and some bovine TB, and some cows and some badger Tb for that matter. More so though between land and stock management and more bovine TB.

Spending some time most weeks walking and running over farmland all over these fair isles with my dogs I can assure you Iain that the quality of the boundary fences and stock management varies wildly.

If you have bovines grazing near badger habitats you need very good fences and to stop badgers sharing your cattle's water, rations, straw etc.

Obviously Cam is an upper class twit who is full of bull. His mate George is the same, but with more deliberate mendacity in my view. But culling our dear badgers mercilessly is not the answer to any sensible question.

What Iain Dale's post actually represents is not so much a superstitious attack on badgers so much as a renewal of hostilities from the Davis camp - which included Mr Conway and Mr Dale and Mr Fawkes? among others - on the toffee nosed twittery of Cameron, Osborne, Johnson and the other Cuddly Nu Tory forces.

UPDATE: A reasonably even-handed review of cow-badger relations from wildlife online, also the source of the photo.

Man Libdemologists: Another One Bites the Dust

LOL's coy post of last night about Simon Ashley's frantic attempts at telesales to his own disillusioned councillors was posted ten hours after another of the Lib Dem group had announced their decision to leave and join Manchester Labour. The second to go in 2008.

Cllr Abid Chohan (37) (pictured, courtesy MEN) a solicitor and former Labour member has come back to the fold rather than chasing Cllr Faraz Bhatti and Sajjad Karim MEP into the Tories.

Lib Dem group "leader" Simon Ashley, who has been under-performing for years, is claiming to have "taken the whip away" from Abid ahead of the Sunday High Noon meeting in Cllr Richard Leese's Town Hall office which sealed the deal.

Shortly after petulantly slamming the 'phone down on him - not the greatest persuasion technique in the world.

As Dave Ottewell reports in today's early edition of the Manchester Evening News Cllr Chohan had been selected to sit with Nick Clegg MP at a jolly fundraising dinner this Wednesday Thursday evening in Gorton constituency. And with Abid weighing up his ways out of the miserable Lib Dem group for around three months now Ashley would do well to fall on his sword ahead of Clogg's visit.

The Lib Dems are now in the wonderful position a couple of months out from polling day of not having a clue which of their candidates up for election on 1 May 2008 are planning to switch sides* if and when they win.

And what's more they don't know how many more of the class of 2004 - like Cllr Faraz Bhatti (Con) and Abid Chohan (Lab) - will cross the floor either side of polling day. As we proclaimed at the start of January Bhatti's defection is the gift to Labour that simply keeps right on giving. Both Bhatti and Chohan have until 2011 before they face re-election. Any Lib Dems returned this time who then choose to switch will have until 2012.

* LOL is not prepared at this time to provide a list, let's keep them guessing!

Tory Sleaze: Del Boy Con-way Loses Cherry

Thursday LOL demand Tory Sleazebag Del Boy Conway loses his bonus pay and Friday tea time the BBC report that our requirement has been met unconditionally.

Intercept Evidence: Ashley Like Headless Chicken

Ever since the ambitious young plane spotter Cllr Faraz Bhatti booked a room and started a kissy kissy love in with Dave Cameron's Conservatives poor old Manchester Lib Dem "leader" Simon Ashley has worn a worried frown rather than his more customary addled village idiot grin.

Intercept evidence now reaching LOL finds Simple Simon ringing round one or two or three or four of his wandering flock - the ones considered to be the biggest flight risk - seeking their expressions of fealty. Any who will not instantly kiss his ring, metaphorically speaking, find the 'phone slammed down on them.

Big questions are doing Lib Dem rounds on Ashley's choice of cold calls. The question is not "Why Me?" among the waverers he does identify. But "Why Not Me?" among those he has missed. "Doesn't he care if I leave?" they implore.

When, or if, Cllr John Leech MP gives up his council fiefdom the two who remain there will become a definite flight risk. Shameless Norm and Semi Tone are both Labourites at heart and will very likely look upon the newly elected Councillor Hacking as the Officer material to replace the perennial NCO Leech.

Method to Madness: Tory Trot Cross Makes Sense

If revolting Tories are to "take to the streets" as suggested by one of GuF's commentators it does explain how the crossing of a revolutionary communist SWP Councillor to the Tories is so welcome in Tower Hamlets Conservative circles. The "webel" is Bengali too as it goes, so may know a thing or too about Sharia Law. Which is the basis of the ever so reliable Mail on Sunday story GuF takes so seriously.

Watch out for Tory Workers Party stalls on a high street near you, the launch of the new Tory Worker newspaper, and a proliferation of special interest groups such as Eats Shoots and Leaves-esque "Fighting Unions Campaign", plus "Toff War Against Terror" and "Conservatives against Climate Change" perhaps?

Nasty Party: Funny Game of Doctors and Nurses

Kevin Maguire carries on the good fight against the wallpaper heir, future Baronet and former Buller Bully Boy Sir George GOO Osborne:

George Osborne has appalled fellow Tories with a sick jibe about another shadow chancellor.
Moderates in the party revere Iain Macleod, who suffered a heart attack just weeks after entering the Treasury when Ted Heath became PM in June 1970.
But that did not stop Osborne making fun of him at an event organised by the Policy Exchange think-tank.
The shadow chancellor said: "I'm a great admirer of Iain Macleod but I'm not planning to die within a month of becoming Chancellor of the Exchequer."
It is not the first time Osborne, who changed his first name from Gideon to sound less posh, has caused massive offence.
The wallpaper firm heir branded Gordon Brown "autistic" at the Tory party conference two years ago.

The Tories are always at this sort of thing with Iain Dale throwing about mental health diagnoses like confetti.

As Iain the patient argued Diabetes Can Be Beaten. The question is: Can Tory joshing and gybing based on medical complaints and amateur diagnoses be shown the road too?

Mr Fawkes: Spintistics and Bushwhackanomics

Right wing blogger Paul Staines aka Guido Fawkes aka Mr GuF had a go at Newsnight this morning for wonky economic statistics. But only yesterday GuF was reporting a repossessions surge in the UK. Thing is the rate of these in the UK has doubled since early 2005. But in the USA they have gone up by a humungous factor to 2 million, ours are at 27,000.

Our rate is proportionately one fourteenth of that under Bushwhackanomics. Tragic though repossession is for investors or residents the UK has gone from "not that many" to "a few more"? But GuF likes Bushian economics?

My oh my! Mr GuF has reminded us about Tory repossessions. And he's confirmed that, like Dubya, Tories in general and right wing GuFsters in particular stand for cutting tax on the rich and crucifying the poor.

Perhaps next time he'll compare with the peak repossessions rate of Tory times, which I can tell him was 333% of recent figures. Perhaps he can total the last ten years of Tories and compare that with the first ten of Labour? Perhaps he can consider how these days many of the repossessions are from unfortunate rentiers who get in too deep?

Absolutely Fabulous: Tories Nick One From Respect

Ted Jeory at the East London Advertiser has a corker. Particularly as this one is a revolutionary socialist of the SWP.

Amazing! I was speculating ten months ago - towards the end of this - about how Respect would manage if they had the opportunity to form an opposition in Tower Hamlets with the Tories ... :

"Respect in Tower Hamlets also need to realise that grown up electoral politics is not quite like a Students Union. When you roll up with a minority motion the main party will generally speaking spike it and deal with their own business. Which may not mean they disagree with that motion. In a year or two Respect could perhaps form a Coalition with the Tories and be in the box seat themselves. I look forward to the revolutionary explanation for that if it happens."

BREAKING: Ken Agrees to Jasper Gardening Leave

Ken Livingstone has suspended his Senior Race Advisor Lee Jasper at the embattled battler's own request. So that he can clear his name. Silly Man Gilligan will be dancing in the streets. One less watermelon smile on the block, eh Boris?

Meanwhile the eminent psychiatrist Iain Dale throws around mental diagnoses like confetti. Seems he's backing the sleazy serial adulterer, foot in mouth specialist, fibber, and aider and abetter of the criminalist toff Guppy for the Mayor's job.

This is because allegedly Boris unites people. Presumably in uncontrollable laughter at the decision of Dave and George to stick up a buffoon to run the second greatest city in the world.

UPDATE: Sunday 10:55 am, Have corrected the Dale link, sorry. There is a new spoof site also here.

Bozo Johnson MP: Caught Fibbing on the Underground

Cheeky chappy Boris Johnson has done well to escape with a clip round the ear from the conductor for serious mendacity on youth crime on London Transport.

Boris suggests that naughty youth should have their free travel taken away from them temporarily or permanently according to the seriousness of their misdemeanours. That is EXACTLY WHAT HAPPENS under his rival Ken Livingstone. It is therefore a marvel that Channel 4's Factcheck gives his claims to the contrary just 60% (3.0 of a possible 5.0) for mendacity.

Is the bumbling and muttering Johnson an incompetent fool? Or is he a lying, cheating, dissembling Tory Buller Boy Buffoon. You decide.

Conway: Go To Jail, Do Not Pass GO or Collect £13,000

The continued rewarding of Derek Conway with £13,000 "extras" for his honourable chairing of meetings is absolutely disgraceful. We must stop this by popular acclaim. And stop him getting the maximum resettlement and pensions amount. Send him and his co-conspirators to jail, not to easy street.

Cllr Simon Ashley: Same Old Tired Old Deja Vu, Again

Today we have a disappointing response to Manchester's budget consultation. Perhaps people are reasonably content? Perhaps the local and regional media - such as the Manchester Evening News - didn't provide enough build up? Perhaps opposition politicians have poisoned everyone with misery and cynicism?

Whichever it is, we get the same old muttering from Lib Dem leader Simon Ashley. Who presumably knew all about the consultation and didn't even attempt to get his own minions to take part. Ashley is quite frankly hopeless.

Just look at Liverpool where the Lib Dem leadership are, believe it or not, twice as good as Ashley and his crew.

See them propping up the national table for financial management. See them getting the wooden spoon as the worst council of the lot. See them having less than one million pounds in reserves. Which must be about one day's worth of the city's budget. Which is not adequate by anyone's standards.

Cllr John McLeech MP: Wake Me Up Before You Go Go

Cheers to The Daily Pundit for the above CT scan of Buff and Leech and Vultan in various stages of arousal at Clogg's offering at PMQs. That was - purely serendipitously - about mind numbing drugs. Which is a serious issue of course.

Cloggy could do with some help with hair trigger problems. He's got up in the house with only one third data to hand. Why would he do that?

Not quite as bad as Cllr John Leech MP claiming to have "carried out" a constituency wide health survey. Before rather pathetic survey leaflets were even fully distributed. Never mind the usual half a dozen responses in.

The above dead on his seat look is absolutely typical for Mr Leech. Still sleeping off Roy of the Rovers exertions for the McParliamentary football team.

The Daily Pundit also has a mysterious Valentine for Letwin and Clogg and news that, in Belize elections, "Lord" Cashpoint is sportingly batting for both sides.

Whacko Waterson: Family Get Ducks in a Line

I'm not sure I'd have called this one "cleared". I think I'd have said Dave Cameron's mate has rather escaped by knocking his family's stories into shape like a proper authoritarian.

Nigel Waterson says he is going to complain about "heavy handed policing" which in one of those brilliant accidents of symmetry is more-or-less what he was accused of himself.

There are two ways for the story to go now. One, most likely, all the complaints and the like are quietly dropped, quite soon. Two, Nigel Waterson is found to have been completely wronged by the powers that be. Smoke without fire. Nothing to see here. Teenagers who said "and it isn't the first time" found to have been wrong several times over. Hurrah.

Faraz "Buzz" Bhatti's formal complaint of police heavy handedness has it seems evaporated. This was from when he was cautioned recently for inappropriate behaviour with his girlfriend at a carpark/lover's lane well known for dogging, car rocking and er, plane spotting.

Strangely enough the itinerant soul, who famously followed Tony Lit, Gurchuran Singh and Sajjad Karim into David Cameron's Conservatives, and is sadly parted company from wife and three kids at the "address of convenience" he uses for elections, has decided that discretion may be the better part of valour on this one. His pranks are already severely trying for the "personal vote" that is his excuse for not letting the electorate decide whether they want a Tory councillor, or not.

Iain Dale would appear to have turned off comments, links and the like on his strange assertion that Waterson has "been cleared".

Brown 'Kulturkampf'? Dale, Heffer, Vaizey Philistines?

Sorry to obsess people. But I can't let Mr Dale's easy recourse to lazy epithets pass without ... joining in.

Funnily enough it is often the "modernity" that Heffer, Vaizey and Dale label as Stalinist or Kulturkamph and actively affect to despise - rather as Stalin and Hitler did with their demands for fascist realism - that washes its own face. Artists like Gormley, Emin and Hirst are doing fine thank you very much - and the traditional figurative and "high arts" conservatives like - such as Wagner's Ring which Hitler famously kissed - that needs the public gravy.

A huge proportion of the funding from the public purse goes to those high arts and very little relatively to the new expression that is the lifeblood of our world beating creative industries. Not lifeblood directly necessarily. But through a perfectly invidious inspiration for those industries. Including architecture, advertising, music, film and television.

Personally as someone with an interest and some appreciation across the full gamut from high to low and old to new and popular to unpopular I don't think the balance is too bad at the moment but that if anything the "old school" arts are getting too much.

Heffer is a porcine Philistine and probably has little idea of where the balance of funding is these days. Are Dale and Vaizey Philistines too?

Iain Dale: DFID Pull Plonker With Viral

Ha ha ha. Ho ho ho. Happy Valentines! Iain Dale has posted an EXCLUSIVE on how DFID have made a video for Valentines that will "never be seen". And posted that video! Chump!



Seriously though, commissioned "publications" don't always get passed for formal distribution. Clearly Doughty Street would run virtually anything, but others have higher standards. This sort of thing happens under both parties of government. Some years ago under Maggie Thatcher's vile regime Manchester City Council commissioned a video about upcoming Job Creation plans.

Maggie "Milk Snatcher" Thatcher put this into reverse with a great axe taken to northern town halls, job freezes and cuts. Although the Manchester Soviet managed to avoid compulsory redundancies, the video had to be scrapped.

The presenter as I recall spent much of his time "on his bike" taking Norman Tebbit's advice. If I can get hold of a copy I'll get it published.

Bashing the Bishop?: Sunny Bashes BBC Instead

Sunny at Pickled Politics is peeved at BBC Coverage of the Arch Bish Mish on Sharia. He's right. They fell for it all hook line and sinker. One of the dangers of 24/7 news and evolving stories. Sometimes they edit the idiocy out as things settle down. On this one they went with the flow and showed little if any sign of having read the speech.

Not sure what Sunny would make of the coverage at Ummah Pulse. The ABC is seen as in cahoots with various liberal reformists UP don't much like. Interesting post. Interesting comments.

Auto Cue Geddon: Idea Whose Time Has Passed?

Iain Dale asks whether the day of the autocue is passed. And he wants speaking tips. So here goes ...

Seven Habits of Successful Speech Makers

First, write an hour-long speech which is mostly style and with little substance, with that being the sort of old time dog whistles that your audience love.

Second, re-work and re-work and re-work it and learn it verbatim until you have it off pat.

Third, spin only that you are going to speak WITHOUT NOTES. There is no content in the speech anyway, so, yes, spin that it'll be delivered without notes - more or less.

Fourth, make sure you point out you're not using notes at least a couple of times near the top.

Fifth, deliver speech and enjoy the media adulation that despite going into the conference hall naked you have worked your cock and bull off delivering the thing WITHOUT NOTES.

Six, carelessly leave a couple of pages of scribble in camera view and discard them on stage. NB You are a "memory man" so try to remember not to scribble these on the back of your 100% scripted text that you have just spewed out verbatim.

Seven, similarly make sure there are no copies of the whole thing lying around. Discovery of these will blow the idea that you have actually extemporised from a couple of sides of scribble. Or that "mistakes" in fact and syntax are in the heat of the moment. If you are found out on your one spinning point: "Without notes", the lack of substance will become evident.

I've seen Peter Hain making a few speeches in my time. Without notes or autocue and with. In the former cases he has never failed to make a joke about "no heckling" and self aggrandise about his armed Special Branch officers. And he usually drifts or indeed lurches off message rather easily.

While Guido continues to think he single handedly scuppered Mr Hain's deputy leadership challenge I remember a pre-emptive undermining of his prospects at the 2005 Brighton Conference.

There was his own inability to use either of the screens - of the type used to hide himself by a shy future PM in launching his campaign - without moving his whole head, neck, torso, body 45 degrees west or east like the Thunderbirds puppet he inspired (top). But beyond this the script seemed, from his delivery at least, to be alternately stalling and racing.

Lovely work from Gordon's people I thought at the time. You can have all the ostentatious armed body guards you want and still get mugged at the lectern.

Lib Dem Clayton Barbarism: Dropping Historic Cinema

Dave Ottewell's politics are clear. He doesn't want the Lib Dem councillor Mark Clayton's bessie mate to knock down the third oldest cinema in the country. It would be extraordinarily sad.

Clayton, the greyhound kicker, is intimately involved with the developer. He lists the cinema address and his "former" business relationship in his Register of Members' Interests entry. Along with dozens of addresses owned by his "former' associate, and a few - including Clayton House on Piccadilly - that he owns himself. Under challenge he admitted - to the Northenden Civic Society - that, contrary to his declaration, he works for and with the developer still.

Another Lib Dem, presumably ignorant of Clayton's involvement, has been continually complaining about the flyposting and decay. And a third Lib Dem son-of-a-gun turned a blind eye to the flyposting on this cinema for the venue he used to manage. Before that is he left - after 12 months suspension - under a cloud of financial scandal.

The local freesheet, and the regional Manchester Evening News had the story about this councillor who was simultaneously claiming credit for stopping flyposters and failing to prevent promoters at his own building from being the worst of them all. But for some reason best known to themselves they did not run the story, despite mentions in the Council chamber.

They also did not cover the man's departure from this highly paid job following long time suspension over an alleged tax fiddle. What's up with our press?

No doubt, despite all their deep personal interest and involvement the Lib Dems will try to make hay. Personally, I see no good reason to let the developer proceed with this barbarism. Let's tell Clayton's Lib Dem wreckers to GTF. The MEN should be campaigning against this proposal - even if the planners agree to desecration. Clayton's hyenas would probably just sell the site on for a huge profit if they do get planning.

It is not inevitable that an historic cinema should be dropped unceremoniously. It is Lib Dem councillor Mark Clayton's developer mate taking the piss. That's all. As he will with the Tatton Arms also. Five years from now he'll be pulling that down too. They must be stopped from this hypocritical behaviour.

Please expose him now Dave. Manchester Evening News. Run a campaign. Make him sell it for 50p or thereabouts. As a preservation project .. as he bought it.

Conservative Resistance: Those Old Habits Die Hard

Seventy Five Percent of Conservatives choosing to take part in poll on Conservativehome.com would not want Helen Grant, selected to replace Anne Widdecombe in Maidstone and the Weald; Sajjad Karim, top-listed in the NW MEP list; or Tony Lit, 3rd placed candidate for David Cameron's Conservatives in Ealing Southall to have been selected as they were.
Grant had helped Labour and only just joined, Karim had been a Lib Dem MEP but defected, Lit was seen hob nobbling with Tony Blair moments before his career move. There is a suggestion in comments that the fact that high profile Johnny-come-latelies are BME increased the animosity to fast-tracking.

David Davis Sleaze Allegations: GuF Brings Home Bacon

Paul Staines aka hammy blogger Guido Fawkes aka Mr GuF has invented a piggy index for politicians. Trouble is he immediately applies it in a wholly biased way - giving peers a fulsome three little piggies for maxxing their expenses, with the story he links to appearing to say these were legitimate claims, while giving David Davis a mere one little piggy for a £20,000 leadership donation laundered by two of his litter of cronies, plus a similar sum through his own and, er, Derek Conway's declarations. Or was it the same money tumbling through the laundry?

Once again it is a case of well done to the boy Mann! As it goes the Independent on Sunday's investigation points out more than Guido lets on. That Davis and indeed our old friend the disgraced Del Boy Conway made parallel/repeat declarations to those of the jobsworth cronies.

All good clean fun from David Davis. The man who made [insert]many complaints against Peter Hain, though it was his near namesake the nonentity David Davies who made the [/insert] formal complaints about Peter Hain. And who But Davis has perhaps spat out the most holier than thou sound bites on such matters.

These donations via MPs Mitchell, Herbert and Conway were of course part of the "defeat from the jaws of victory" campaign coordinated by Tory Boy Blogger Iain Dale and supported by GuF himself. Mr Dale is very fond of reminiscing about how very prim and proper that campaign was. With every last thing declared properly. Obviously not! To turn Mr Davis' own rhetoric on himself: Davis appears to make a liar out of poor Dale.

FOOTNOTE: For some strange reason Staines/Fawkes/GuF includes an attack on the broadcaster Jeremy Paxman within his round up of alleged politician excess. Now why would that be? Has GuF got some kind of a problem with Newsnight or something?

UNDERFOOT NOTE: Well worth dragging up all the Basher Davis references in Guido's archive at this point. 114 - count 'em. Including Davis' memorable rebuke that Cameron: "Couldn't run a bath". Ho ho ho. Oink oink oink.