Libdemologists: 66,000, Yet Another Gross Exaggeration

While I've no doubt that Vince Cable, quoted by Lib Dem Voice is correct that some military personnel lose on the 10p tax farrago, I've also no doubt that the figures proffered are exaggerated shamelessly by the meister fibbers.

Vince says "up to 66,000". This is surely a knowing gross over-statement of any £90 per annum tax losers in the military, relying on ALL entry ranks e.g. Privates being on or below a certain grade and its starting point.

The claim also does not account for benefit changes which affect a goodly proportion of any losers. Hardly any serviceperson is on any starting pay point at any one time.

I would totally agree with anyone - such as Yorksher Gob Jennie (Lib Dem) - who suggests simplifying so there should be no need to claim benefits to get the ahem benefit of the system(s). One of her commenters bemoans the fact that even members (like Jennie) don't know that this is LD tax policy.

That is probably because LD tax Policy is irrelevant to the debate. LD's can say absolutely anything on national matters because this will never but never be costed properly, and will never be tested in real life. Reality for a third party franchise.

The military are workers in uniform. They are not tremendously well paid. But the quoted pay point of £14,300 actually compares favourably to many starting pays (even maximum pays) out there in the real world of C1C2Ds; and in truth most service people are on considerably more than this in cash terms and also have other benefits such as accommodation, food, sports and social, and vocational training that many in our estates can only dream of.

Gross fibbing with numbers is a trait that should be resisted by all of us and in which Lib Dems appear to specialise. Under the old Effective Opposition "shameless exaggeration" mantra.

Can Lib Dem Voice or Vince Cable now, urgently, unpack the 66,000 figure and provide the correct figure? Preferably with an apology for the knowing exaggeration? I’d be surprised if this 66,000 figure is not at least a ten fold exaggeration, particularly accounting for benefits (both state and work-related), pay settlements, and change in allowances.

I hope there is a sensible settlement for those who have lost on the banishment of the 10p rate. But this ain’t helping.

City of Horti-Culture: Ringo's Privet Parts Removed, Again

There's no beating about the bush from Dr Rupa Huq HERE but this has not been the case in Liverpool this week. Ringo, who rooked a substantial five-figure sum from the CoC for his miserable plodding exile song, has had his privet parts unceremoniously removed HERE.

London: GuF Backs Johnson on the Old Bull and Bush

Mr GuF supports the Conservative mayoral candidate's policy on an amnesty for illegal immigrants. David Cameron does not.

The bigger problem with the policy of course is that the Mayor of London has no agency on Home Office policy in these matters. It's just bullshit from bullshit central. Showing the folly of feeding cocaine and skunk weed to psychologically susceptible Old Etonians in their formative years.

Which in Boris' case may well be ongoing. Below right on a recent "red nose day".

And what on earth was he on when he last appeared on Newsnight? Where were the bog police from The Evening Standard to expose his afflictions?

Hilariously testing the tops of cisterns in bogs where they themselves - guttersnipes one and all - were allowed to go. Ho ho ho. The Manchester Evening News used similar testing kits and ran a front page scoop: Cocaine: The Hidden Epidemic. They didn't find much. Except in their own loos, in hospital loos, and in police loos.

Manchester Confidential had us snorting in the aisles as they quite righty voted that the worst story of 2007. Not as bad as the Standard's perhaps. But bad.

So Weak: Spectator Coffee House/Dale Continue Smears

The Spectator's Coffee House blog ran a wafer thin smear on Ken. Suggesting something or other about his campaign's financial supporters I suppose. And using a single anecdote from 2004 to make their point and some utterance on TV.

Newsnight's debate was a zoo. Largely thanks to Boris's boorish interrupting, showboating, twittering. Like one of the less engaging characters from Postcards From the Edge. And this a man who has set up a donate by text system that could conceivably launder huge amounts of secret donations.

It may be that this year Ken has a system to shield him from immediate knowledge of his donors. But clearly that cannot last very long as they become public knowledge as they are declared.

The Coffee House post implies he is aware of all his donors now when in general that may be untrue. And it relies on these 2004 anecdotes. So weak. Have they not got anything about Johnson and Paddick donors to give the impression that they have the sort of balance and fairness expected of proper journalists?

Meanwhile Mr Dale gets on his high horse, again. This time over possibly free travel in london for the poorest of the poor.

Seems to me the idea of free travel for refugees and asylum seekers and I suppose some form of registered "subject to detention" people who are in appeal processes - and indeed job seekers and ultra poor - is not a bad one.

Though I would have thought Iain's emotive term "Illegal Immigrants" would not actually be a factual description of those most likely to take this up.

Such a scheme would actually save the Home Office and others from subbing the travel at full cost too, and also people missing signing appointments etc because they don't have £4 for a tube or £2 for a bus or whatever.

If there is no way to do this with recourse to UK public funds then finding some way to have it sponsored or funded commercially seems like a very reasonable and creative work round.

Seems ridiculous to me that those seeking work don't get any sort of concession on most public transport. Ridiculous in fact. JSA is not enough to fund anyone to "get on their bike and look for work".

So Weak: When Is A U Turn Not a U Turn?

Iain Dale's Diary quoth "An Olympic Sized U Turn From Gordon Brown". But actually it's not a turn of any sort. So weak.

So Weak: Torygraph Scribblers Are Not Fit For Purpose

Farmer Dale draws our attention to a Muslim hypothetical. This is that - in theory - there is a justification for strict Muslims who have been convicted and imprisoned for sex crimes not taking part in group therapy.

This is presumably because unidentified verses of the Quran and/or ahadith thereon state that Muslims should not discuss such crimes in front of others. Presumably also should not commit such crimes in the first place?

The downside of this - in theory - for the incarcerated is that prisoners of any background, religion, temperament, shyness, health etc opting out of such sessions may - in theory - delay their release as the risk of releasing them is held to be less easy to assess.

The downside of this - in theory - for the service is that in the fullness of time an oxymoronic but devout Muslim sex offender may take the service to task and claim discrimination on grounds of religion.

Iain's post - which ought perhaps to be calling for castration for hair-trigger bloggers and scribblers instead of drawing sweeping comparisons with alleged laws and practices in Teheran - is problematic as is the original Telegraph story HERE. That's because neither one nor the other quantifies the problem or even states whether it is a real issue rather than a complete, and by the time Iain posts his spin on it hysterical, hypothetical.

Because of this glaring omission it would not have made it into the hallowed pages of student papers I worked on 30 years ago. Editors would have simply said "This doesn't stand up Dale, this doesn't stand up Farmer*, it's not going in my paper." So how has this got onto "Britain's leading political blog" or a desperately sliding right wing "quality" broadsheet?

As things stand - whether or not there is a real problem or not - this story is not at a level of readiness for responsible publication. It is more like something Nick Griffin would insert into a likely-to-be-banned party political broadcast or a filthy fascist pamphlet.

* Pure coincidence. The Torygraph scribbler and dog whistler's name is Farmer.

Olympic Torch: IOC Rogge Considers Torch Surrender?

AOL are reporting trouble in San Fransisco over a SIX MILE torch relay. Including a bridge protest, an athlete dropping out, and the IOC itself considering calling the whole thing off. Not the Games, just the International portion of the relay.

Think it through guys. That wouldn't really help. The point of the protests in the free world is not (generally speaking) to stop the Games. It is to stop torch relays through Tibet and other contested areas. Let the relays and the protests continue here. If the IOC is to intervene let it be to withdraw permission for Tibet.

Meanwhile French athletes are proposing to wear badges "For A Better World".

London: Paddick Bird Brains Contrarily Flirting Torywards

Lib Dem Voice are carrying an exciting discussion triggered by the analysis of
Sunder Katwala, general secretary of the Fabian Society at Comment is Free. Hat tip: Farmer Dale.

Lib Demmer Jennie aka The Yorksher Gob offers this observation:

As for the current poll … Well, I don’t live in London, but Vote Match matched me with Ken then Sian then Boris THEN Brian, so …

I would advise other Lib Dem activists to try this before choosing Brian and Boris ahead of Ken which - according to the LDV poll is slightly more likely at the moment. Which worries me. Even given my low opinion of the "principles" and "politics" of a good few Lib Dems.

SPOILER ALERT: My own results can be enlarged from the graphic on the right. But do your own first if you don't want any danger of creating an almighty self fulfilling prophesy. My one and a half disagreements with Ken are over airports and I suspect that his own view on at least the overall capacity required by the Capital is more nuanced than this answer suggests. In fact Gilligan tried to smear him on that among other Gilliganesque fantasy constructs and aberrations in yesterday's Daily Smearken "True or False?".

Hilarious Torch Relay: French Did Not Snuff the Flame

You will be glad to hear that those cheese-eating surrender monkeys DID NOT, repeat DID NOT allow the Beijing Olympic Flame to be forcibly extinguished. Not even once, never mind the four times put about by the decadent western running dog lackeys of capitalism.

It's simply not true. And that's official!

If you find any "mistakes" on the official web coverage from Beijing you can report them here. CP-LOL - with all its politically dangerous and decadent coverage - is sadly BANNED BY THE STATE in China, a fact bringing congratulations from brave and resourceful souls within that jurisdiction.

South Ealing Minicabbie: Pops Up on Newsnight

LONDON: How strange. Having completed almost the full list of Do-It-Myself tasks at Dr Huq's bijou des res in Ealing South I request my host to rustle up a local driver to get me to Euston on time.

In fact we drive down to the rank at "Olympic Cars" and the nominated driver - BP-rally-trained - climbs into Rupa's own battered car to speed us both to the terminus.

We arrive with fifteen minutes to spare following top navigation and extraordinary defensive driving. All the while some wild talk of SUN "paps" and a strange sibling-esque rivalry was working itself out between driver and host.

INTERMISSION

MANCHESTER: Very odd later to spot what looked like the very same mini-cabbie (left) on the television. Being interviewed in a Newsnight investigation into the Blue Men who were riding shotgun (or shotokan?) on the Olympic Torch.

Apparently Dr Huq's chosen cabbie had also been one of the Londoners who got to jog with that very torch aloft, had been jostled by a scampy protestor (BBC, YouTube, yet knew nothing much (that Newsnight interview) about the provenance of the "blue men".

LOL has a new proposal: Are these boys in blue actually a preview of a Boris Johnson police state bicycle thief snatch squad?

ANALYSIS

Looks like China is scoring own goal after own goal with this Greek Torch. Sportifs, celebs and even Ealing cabbies have conspired with the Chinese government to make their country a bit of a laughing stock.

The original Blue Men (above) were a radical theatre troupe from New York - as seen at PS122, and the Green room in Manchester - but they were (a) very good indeed and (b) "sold out" beautifully when the top dollar offers came in.

I'm not sure the Blue Men of the torch will achieve such greatness with their sticky fingers (this not this) and kung fu (this not this) fighting displays alongside their charge.

Please do try to remember that this torch is an Olympic Torch with some fine connotations. This is not an Imperial Chinese Torch of horrors. And try to recall what happened to the USSR/CCCP not so long after they hosted the thing.

Basically Russia lost their whole empire within a decade.

Remember too some of the more unfortunate activities of Imperial Britain in 1908 and 1948, never mind the USA in their various years as Olympic Hosts.

CONCLUSION

China are making a right Horlicks of the whole thing. Like The Great Dictator, but on a tour of self-imposed slapstick schtick.

Relying really on host countries doing heavy police. Adding a further layer of "fast as lightning" mysterious kung fu boxers and thuggies. And naturally meeting protest upon protest. Perfect ... if the aim is to debunk your own reputation worldwide.

They could hardly do more to disgrace themselves. It is our duty to provide them with a stage on which to do this. Judas was necessary for "Cheeses" (see comment from "JuanKerr") to get his and save us all. The same applies here. But with no fault whatsoever for the co-conspirators, most of whom are taking the chance to empathise with the protestors and criticise Mother China.

New Maoist New China: Have begun to let on that there are actually protests. Contrary to various reports that they are suppressing that. Screen grab below.



UPDATE 10:12 AM TUES: YouTube comment from Chinaupup (who is roundly smeared and insulted at that user page) :

Stop western media distortion, stop western style violence and stop attacking the peaceful olympic torch,stop lousy political act,this series of violent protests and riots make us clear who are destroying our chinese peaceful hope and olympic spirit. Now you western let us know your the false faces and we'll remember them from you forever.We chinese will never forget what you have done to all chinese. such as:distortion,attack,historical trespass,arrogant behavior and violience.

Is this is what Paul Mason would call a Zhongnanologist or the opposite? Being "China Up Up" or "China U Pup".

Lamb in Wolves Clothing: Tory Garden Poster Onslaught

Back in Manchester yesterday by the way spotted a Tory garden poster, and a cult of personality window poster, in a decidely non-Tory area. Unable to resist I knocked on, invited myself in, slipped my shoes off, and attempted re-education. I needn't have worried. 100% red socialist Labourite household displaying posters in some sort of horrific favour for a bare acquaintance.

One of the daughters of the house confided that the household were berating mum for this faux pass - and having to pass the ugly mug blueness every day - but alas it was a question of "There's no harm in it" and "We'll all vote Labour as usual." The kind of word of mouth we can only dream of. Good news for Amina and bad news for Cllr "Buzz" Bhatti, the plane spotter and police complainant (retd.).

London Frontline: Is There A Mayoral Election Going On?

Here is Ealing Southall there is almost NO SIGN of the close and tense mayoral election being protrayed on the blogs and inky and multi- media. Almost 24 hours wandering and a total of ONE window poster spotted, for Ken natch, and even the landmark SECC building (South Ealing Conservative and "Unionist" Club I believe) has narry a mention of the Bozmeister around its hallowed portals.

Worse still the hospitable blogger who has welcomed me to theirs has NO INTERNET in their home.

NONE, NADA, ZILCH, KEIN, a big PAS D'INTERNET.

UPDATE: Tuesday 14:34, In fact a total of FOUR posters were spotted in the area. Three Kens and one Green with "Ken for Mayor" added prominently.

Reasonable Tory Bloggers: Oh Yes, There Are One or Two

Long overdue links to reasonable Tory Liam trading as Cassilis and reasonable Tory Evan trading as Evan's Thoughts have been added.

Part of the CP-LOL mission is to rebutt some of the knee jerk nonsense of Farmer Dale and of course Dozy GuF, with catching them doing something right as a very occasional sideline.

But Cassilis is terrifically reasonable and mostly right. And Evan is terrifically legal, often reasonable, and always right of centre. The Price is right after all.

Apologies gentlemen for not linking sooner.

UPDATE: Liam at Cassilis is Centre-right and independent, and 'fesses to some Labour voting in General Elections. Certainly not a doctrinaire Tory.

Bitter Euro Wreckers: Throwing Stones at Cameron

Conservative Home has a bitter expose of the methodology used by Tories to select Euro lists. Poor old Sajjad Karim MEP gets it in the neck again.

His new office in Chorlton was one of those I attended when looking for legal support for Tarus in his hour of need. No solicitors present. No receptionist. Presumably the MEP office - also unoccupied - in the back is paying much of the rent and business rates?

Eager recommendation for another immigration lawyer was made, who shall be nameless for now. But this character demanded £250 up front "on account" to receive a fax, sign it, fax it back.

Incidentally, after the purge, it was good to see a Lib Dem site still featuring their former MEP HERE.

Born and raised in the small Lancashire town of Brierfield, he went on to set up Marsdens Solicitors in Nelson, where he is a partner working mainly as a criminal defence lawyer. He was a councillor in Pendle for eight years.

Perhaps "Marsden" is an old family name? Bitter Pendle Lib Dems and others shot the breeze HERE.

Iain Dale's Diary: More Chaos at the Home of the Blues

Mr Dale has more sloppy seconds. With un backed up assertions about what the police want on two unrelated matters. Detention and dope classification.

If the police don't want longer detention they've changed their tune. But what is Iain's source anyway? If the police do want reclassification of cannabis they have also changed their view. What is his source? There is a (copper-bottomed) comment saying police on the ground actually want declassification/decriminalisation/legalisation.

I'm agin the 42 days, but in favour of letting dope stay as is.

So Weak: Cokey Boris Johnson to Ban Alcohol on Tube

The Telegraph have been spun a yarn by Boris Johnson. He says he would ban alcohol on the tube if he were ever elected, heaven forfend.

So long as he doesn't ban spliff, coke and pills (not to mention consorting with crack whores) he'll probably get this one past Cam and GOO alright.

Hat tip: Farmer Dale who sadly forgot to hat tip the Telegraph who had it 15 hours before him.

So Weak: Guido Launches Proxy Attack on Tom Watson

Meanwhile Paul Staines aka Guido Fawkes aka Mr GuF is carrying on his poxy vendetta against Tom Watson MP. Tell you what Guido ... get serious won't you?

The relative in question may or may not be a good representative in Sandwell. That's for her constituents not for GuF to decide. Councillors do casework, attend community meetings, and governors meetings, and LAP meetings, hold advice sessions, refer matters to MPs and MEPs. There's a lot more to it than formal Town Hall meetings.

Even on that he says "four" when 175% of this = seven meetings were actually attended. Counting meetings only is obviously a gross underestimate of the workload of most councillors.

This post is yet more evidence of GuF's complete incompetence around money and numerical matters. And blog stats to boot. Moral bankrupcy upon statistical bankruptcy upon legal bankruptcy.

Oh, and an outstanding Charity Commission investigation.

GuF couldn't organise a piss up in a brewery. Scratch that, he could stagger through that. But that's just about his limit. Hat tip: Tim.

So Weak: Iain Dale Repeats Media Toddler Chit Chat

So weak! Iain, So weak!

Forgive him. He knows not what he is dabbling with! Comparing Gordon Brown to a Dementor. Still, if Gordy can suck all the life out of Boris, GOO and Dave then I for one will be pleased as punch.

But I prefer the Shrek III parallel myself.

This was of course the prime attack of Steve Bell and the media on grey peas, underpants John Major as he headed towards ... election victory and the nation's affection.

Lib Dem City Centre Round Up: The Clayton Strangler?

Cllr Kenny Dobson aka Dobbo (right) has been a member of most of the running clubs in Manchester down recent years. Starting at the YMCA with what amounted to prescribed exercise and certainly taking in Salford HAC and Sale HAC along the way. After that he started founding his own clubs. Yes, that's plural as he was apparently thrown out of the first of these - East Manchester Athletic Club - and had to form another, East Manchester Harriers.

Basically Kenny is a more-or-less unemployable corner boy who was refused membership of the Labour and WM Club (i.e. the drinking club) as a spotty youth and huffed off and joined the Liberal Party (i.e. another drinking club) instead. Later he became a councillor (basically for him another drinking club) before being drummed out in disgrace by his neighbours over various unpleasant incidents, heavy suspicions and collossal failures.

Now, I like Kenny alright, and will chat to him about anything but politics when I occasionally see him. So I didn't hesitate to cover the plot to oust him as a candidate in the City Centre sympathetically.

Even though I must say I think he is highly unsuitable to "represent" this ward and is on record muttering about how much he "hates the bastards" etc. Proper anti-capitalist nihilism really. Not a man to help sort a parking problem for your 4x4. Nevermind impersonate a Culture spokesman, an enthusiast for recycling, or a purple prose newsletter editor.

Kenny defeated the Lib Dem group leadership 4-3 5-4 as the massed ranks of two wards turned out for a close run selection.

The reason given for this attempt to throw him out was that he had pointed the finger at another candidate being up to his eyeballs in debt (c £40,000) and involved in dealing class A drugs. This was deemed uncomradely.

This fellow - who was in fact Chair of Manchester Lib Dems according to this Lib Dem Youth page - had apparently approached the newly Westminstered Cllr John Leech MP at the Town Hall for help with his £40,000 debt, even enquiring about details of Leech's repeated Chugging of a certain South Manchester pensioner for all his own sponney.

Kenny had warned the pensioner of that risk. He was allegedly put up to his reporting of the alleged nefarious activities by senior members of the group who then turned on him and chose to protect the other fellow - the alleged drug dealer - who was immediately back on their list of candidates, though disappearing (electorally only) without trace.

Anyhow, I digress. Kenny couldn't organise a proverbial in a proverbial.

In one of his rare "speeches" in Council he demanded new lights at the junction of two roads which do not meet. He rolls in late and out early from official meetings in running gear. Like Dave Cameron he cycles the wrong way down One Way streets. He is never exposed to community meetings or advice sessions solo. And generally he keeps schtum.

His total written reports in one recent council year comprised 24 scribbled words. All but six of them the names of meetings. I have a copy. There ought to have been five two page reports. And obviously he is forever getting into trouble with the running community for his half-arsed attempts at putting on races. Most recently last weekend at Clayton Vale.

A particularly troubling anecdote concerns a meeting a year or two back when our hero was supposed to represent his club at a committee meeting concerning the users of the Athletics Stadium at East Manchester. Kenny was unfashionably extraordinarily late, even by his standards, and excused himself by saying he had been shopping.

This did not go down well with the other representatives. At the end of the meeting it is alleged that he grabbed one ex-Great Britain International by the throat, saying: "Don't ever speak to me like that again". By my calculations this hot-headedness was just a few months before he was re-elected to represent the residents of City Centre ward.


In fact the Lib Dems City centre team are a right lot. There's Kenny the Clayton strangler (right). There's a woman called Elaine Boyes who has a comparable record - before being slid into what is probably the most middle class, professional ward in the city - of early hours drunken open air cat fights on the Openshaw Village Estate. She works in the NHS (centre).

Not quite as bad as "Peter" one of her Lib Dem ex-councilloring neighbours who was taken away in handcuffs at least once.

Oh and there's Marc Ramsbottom (left) (the Rambo archive), the one who is up this time round. A right old hypocrite on flyposting. Suspended on full pay for more than a year over allegations of financial irregularity. Eventually resigned in mysterious circumstances.

Yet still the Lib Dems have him as their Finance spokesman! He's the one that reassured Council in his alternative Powerpoint Budget that there'd still be £90 in reserves after he was done.

Actually believable given what the Audit Commission found (or did not find) in the coffers of Lib Dem Liverpool. "£90? Chance would be a fine thing", commented Mike Storey's puppet Fireman Bradley.

On May 2 Rambo should be gone. Dobbo and Boyesy will soon follow.

I'll be back to add the links and possibly a full P&P. Can anyone tell me whether that is necessary? Me, here, supporting Labour.

UPDATE: The allegedly offending candidate no longer has a place in the run down at Rambo's pages. Perhaps he is in jail? Or sleeping with the fishes? Luckily I have some screen grabs of the shady character in previous incarnations. No candidates are mentioned for Bradford Ward, Hulme Ward, Ancoats and Clayton Ward, or Moston Ward which are part of the constituency that Rambo is "parliamentary spokesman" for.

Don't think he's been selected for that just yet, actually.

LD Fools Day: Fitch, Pack or Farmer Most Foolish?

Early this morning Mark Pack ran the latest episode in an old old story on Lib Dem Voice. This concerned a batty Lib Dem pretender who was beaten in an election but where some votes were not counted. 4,000 or so according to the Press Association, as reported in the Worksop Guardian.

The logically-challenged Lib Dem loser and time waster, a Mr Fitch, petitioned all the way to the High Court that the election ought to have been re-run.

Reading the Press Association and other reports and indeed Salford Cllr Steve Cooke's post comment at LDV, immediately above my own, leads me to the conclusion that ALL THE VOTES WERE COUNTED and that the unintentional omission to count some at the proper time MADE ABSOLUTELY NO DIFFERENCE TO THE RESULT.

Clearly if it had made a difference the decision would have been different. In fact there wouldn't have been a petition at all, just a recount and an overturning of any incorrect results, something which this Lib Dem pretender didn't even ask for.

The only question to solve now is whether the waster John Fitch or the disingenuous Mark Pack is the more foolish here. Both confirming the Lib Dem predeliction for stunts and shameless weaselry.

Fitch seems to be petitioning to have another shot at winning a seat: AGAINST THE WISHES of the electorate. Because of a genuine procedural error. And one that made no difference.

As to Cllr Steve's puzzlement on the numbers 9,099 votes sounds like a huge turnout now that wards are more standardised at c 10,000. The missing 1,000 reported when the BBC covered the matter sounds far more accurate and around what you might expect for one of five or six polling stations.

In that report we find the following:

Mark Farmer of the Liberal party, who was a former councillor in the ward, said the only way to put the mistake right was to have a re-run of the ballot.
Three Labour councillors were elected in the Abbey ward. The party took control of the previously hung council winning 38 seats.
"The problem we now face is that result cannot be overturned locally it has to go to the High Court to decide if the result will count or if there will be a re-run of the election," Mr Farmer said.

Presumably it's Lib Dem party, rather than Liberal? But let's add Farmer to the mix. Which of the three is the most foolish?

Well done to Cllr Cooke for rising above this folly. The High Court have also decided not to award a re-run to a bad loser.

Iain Dale For Big Brother House: Vote Him In NOW!

It seems top blogger and former Tory PPC Iain Dale is all set to follow in the footsteps of the young politico Ginger John and the gnarled old tub slapper George Galloway and go on Big Brother. But only if enough people vote "Yes" rather than "No" or "Couldn't Give a Rat's Arse" HERE. I think he'd be excellent entertainment, plus there's a chance they'd stop him blogging for a week or two!

Nick Clogg: Solve the Following Three Equations for N

n = 1, where n is the number of referees on sexual prowess

N = much less than 30, where N is the lifetime number of female partners

N = n, obviously it must do

What is the value of N, and n?

Heathrow Terminal 5: "John" London Cabbie Analysis

On Radio Five Live yesterday a cabbie, whose name might be John, managed a beatific rant about Terminal 5. Rehearsing the problems and processing delays with all the other terminals. And raising the prospect of the demolition and rebuilding of Terminal 2 in a year or so's time to look forward to.

Best comment of the rant was along these lines:

"These people (BAA) have an abysmal record. Give them Radio Five and they'd soon have Radio One and Radio Two and Radio Three and Radio Four on their knees too. And Radio 6.

He forgot 1 Xtra and Radio 7. But this was a good point well made.

Chorlton Manchester: Citizen Mugs Polite Hoody Bikers

At knifepoint! Three 15-year-olds were having some careful off road fun with a mini moto yesterday on the disused railway tracks which wind along the edge of Chorlton Park ward. Stopping to allow dog walkers, cyclists and pedestrians past. Being courteous. And carrying the bike towards home when they were done.

Cue vigilante. Scruffy, 50-ish, long-hair, bald-patched. Taking photos of them on mobile. Saying they were disturbing his imaginery dog. Saying he'd call the police. Then sadly the psycho snapped and changed his mind. Pulling knife on these not so feral children.

Mugs them for the bike. Takes key. Throws it in dense bushes. Hands now useless toy back to still not so feral, still polite children.

All witnessed by a not so feral grown up (and lawyer) who spoke up for the children and would like to see the knife wielding old curmudgeon have the book thrown at him for threatening behaviour, theft, breach of the peace, mugging, carrying an offensive weapon and anything else that will keep him off the streets and modify his behaviour.

Do you know this person? Identification tips welcome. This is a police matter. This have-a-go-zero is armed with a scarey pen knife and a bad attitude and could be a danger to himself and others. Call the police on 0161 872 5050 or Crimestoppers 0800 555 111. Or email your iD to your blogger and I'll do it.

Green-Lib Dem Squabble Redux: Vote Ken, Vote Sheila

Among comments on this post about the handbags between London Greens and Yellows was one from Alix Mortimer:

Chris, if you go back to the LDV post, you'll see that I've answered your point about responding to Berry's criticisms. I did this on my blog several days ago - link is provided.
I'd appreciate it if you'd go and take a look - I'm quite happy to engage on the issues. I gather that at least I can rely on you not to just mindlessly repeat "Brian is just like Boris. So ner" ninety-seven times which seems to be the strategy of the Greens at the moment.

There is a goodly exchange of views back at LDV, linked from my post, and Alix has valiantly attempted a rebutal of the Greenfly attack. But LDV didn't. To paraphrase Alix their "argument" is:

"Ken is just a judicial murder supporting, homophobe supporting commie. So ner"

Which brings a smile to my face given Alix's point that that isn't really a good form of argument!

It remains a mystery me why LDV itself and a good few commenters appear to prefer giving second preferences to Boris rather than Ken.

And why on earth Greens in my ward are expected to give their votes to a Lib Dem candidate in a wretched Lib Dem group which is on the slide rather than to a sitting Labour councillor who has an excellent personal record on Green issues, an excellent personal record in general, and is part of a group that is committed to making a successful and vibrant Manchester the greenest it can be.

P&P: Me, here, on behalf of Labour

Green Party: Call on Clogg to Back Berry not Paddick

Looks like the scourge of the photoshopping classes - Lib Dem Voice - are not practicing what they preach. Now there's a surprise.

In essence they are running an attack on Ken Livingstone, Gordon Brown and Sian Berry - the Green Mayoral candidate - for being cosier together than they should be. By calling for second preference trading. Rather than the Greens defaulting to the Liberal Democrats. A party who are as we all know still too yellow to be green (and too yellow to be fair) and whose stock in trade is squeezing greens 'til the pips squeak.

Lib Dem Voice are following their party's tradition and not even beginning to deal with Sian Berry's New Statesman piece claiming that Paddick is neither a "real Lib Dem" (whatever that may be) nor a supporter of even mainstream green-ish policies. They have even called on Nick Clegg himself to switch to backing Berry. He is weighing that up.

There is also a rather worrying acceptance from the LDV commentati of their party being in bed with Booby Boris Johnson's Conservatives. Surely London Lib Dems should also be calling for 2nd pref votes to Ken not Boz? Over the war. Over a very good level of community leadership after 7/7. Over the Green stuff too. Instead there is just smearage, even outrageously alleging Ken somehow supported the "execution" of Jean Charles De Menezes.

Berry's points re Paddick's policies need a response. And apparently wishing for a Tory Mayor for London and a great boost for Dave Cameron's Conservatives - mostly at the expense of the Lib Dem Party! - also needs an explanation from Lib Dems who like to have it every which way but true.

Tory supporting? Not something that will go down well among their very strange coalition in our urban centres. Liberal Democrats want to do business with Tories. Iain says so here: second preferences 39.4% to Tories, just 14.2% to Labour . And so do LDV in their vote tory strand.

That is Tories who were 1% against the war, rather than 40% from the PLP. Tories who clearly harbour plans to slash the public services. Tories who deliberately destroyed employment, distinctly dog whistle on race, and diligently deny community. Is that the party that Lib Dem voters borrowed from the independent left, working communities, and the greenish should support? Along with tactical Tories?

In my own ward the Lib Dems are desperately trying to squeeze Greens to vote for them. With empty propaganda that bears no relation to their own sham or non-existent greenery where they hold power. Most notably in NW in poor Liverpool.

Commenters at LDV have called Greens names for siding with Labour in Bristol - against Lib Dems who were removing subsidy from local trains, threatening to ban door mats, amd giving themselves a humungous pay rise - and in Sheffield where their reign was short though not sweet.

Even more on the plus side we have the Greens support in Manchester for a cross-party initiative on no cooperation with the BNP. Probably even the Nu Tory will sign that. Lib Dems have refused the opportunity to sign up to this on at least three occasions. The Greens are highly likely to lose their solitary representation on our Council on May 1. Now is not the time for their supporters to be drifting away to Paddick's crew - in this case a right young fibber - who will say anything it takes to get elected.

With her boss even lying - in "utter twaddle" to quote one of their own most enthusiastic supporters - to cancer patients waiting for chemotherapy.

Luke Akehurst also has coverage.

Farmer Dale: Some Blogs Are More Unequal Than Others

Speaking of babbling confusion we have Iain Dale mocking Wendy Alexander for giving herself a perfect 10. Iain's clearly opening the door to some unpleasant misogynist, body fascist banter, though more moderate than GuF would orchestrate. But he ends with a strangely inappropriate quote from George Orwell's Animal Farm.

In which work the incumbent "farmer class" are usurped by the insurgent "animal class" whose leaders then sadly go on to become decadent, wear clothes, smoke cheroots, and walk on two legs. Treating and partying with their former oppressors. Which is not a bad comparator to the snout-wise Scottish Nats, as LOL suggested seven months ago, but seems pretty dismal in relation to Wee Wendy. What is Farmer Dale on abaht? And why does he set up these opportunities for sock puppets and gutter snipe rascals? Salmond passes the Mars Bar Pakoras.

BBC Category Error: Broadcasting Babbling Confusion

Sometimes, quite often even, I wonder whether today's journalists have the intellectual tools to report fairly, logically or even factually. This is the BBC no less reporting on "Speaker Michael Martin's ... improvements".

Now clearly there are issues with MPs expenses, including some related to Mr Martin personally.

But there is a huge difference between repairs and refurbishments and indeed furnishings for a "tied cottage" grace and favour address which will, generally speaking remain in situ for whoever next serves, and items from the John Lewis List which immediately belong to the MP purchasing them, may add to the value of the freehold or leasehold for their address, and can later be sold on separately or in situ by them.

The speaker, whether Mr Martin or someone else before or after, cannot sell their grace and favour home or its furnishings on. Now can they?

The British Broadcasting Corporation is guilty of the sort of category error that is all too common in today's media.

Immigration and Borders: What a Day We've Had

Many thanks to Tony Lloyd MP and Liam Byrne MP and everyone else involved in the release from detention today of Elly Kiptarbei Tarus (right), a young Kenyan athlete who has been trying to join the British Forces and has become an overstayer in the process.

Tarus is still liable to be detained and removed, if he does not leave voluntarily or sort his status out, but not let's hope in this remarkable way.

He has an unused return portion of an Emirates ticket which can be re-dated for $80, he has never had any recourse to public funds, he has been in no trouble whatsoever, and he has suffered mistakes and/or unintended consequences from four (count 'em) different government departments.

Unwittingly, and at times with intended kindness and generosity, conspiring to prevent his joining British Forces.

He had already agreed to go back to Kenya voluntarily at his own expense should his attempts to correct these mistakes ultimately fail. That way he would be 95% likely to get back in and be able to serve in the forces as he wishes. My running club has guaranteed he won't need recourse to public funds in the meantime.

Today when he attended a routine interview to "collect his passport back". He was instead detained and put in a cell. This broke a series of clear promises and agreements that had been made to him or with him. That being at an initial interview I attended myself.

Tarus was later I believe shipped to Manchester Airport, from whence he would have been transferred to a detention centre for five nights at tax payers' expense, before being bundled on a flight - without his possessions - at tax payers' expense on Wednesday.

Perhaps with a little post modern torture in Terminal 5 thrown in.

Papers - specifically representations to the Minister - had been lost somewhere in the mix. Today we were able to right that, just in time. But even so, this was quite a carry on given the assurances we had been given.

Many thanks to those that did help. And quite an anecdote collected on the way from some North West solicitors who certainly did not help us out one little bit.

NW Libdemologists: There's Nowt as Queer as Folk

What a strange old world those Lib Dems live in! One side of the M6 they're resigning due to Stalinist plots preventing de-selection of a councillor. The other side they're resigning due to Stalinist plots achieving de-selection of a councillor.

There's really nowt as queer as Lib Dem folk.

Lib Dem "Green" Propaganda: Latest Waste Paper

Oh dear. A second piece of Lib Dem propaganda through the door in 12 hours and the fourth in five days or so. Is there an election coming up soon or something?

Hilariously given this flood of wasted paper and wasted ink and wasted fibs this last leaflet is on green paper and partly in green ink and, laying things on a bit thick this, claims green credentials too in case we missed the point.

Perhaps I'll have the time later to come back to this heaving pile of dubiosity. Just one word for now: LIVERPOOL.

FOOTNOTE: This thing arrived with the post. Have the Lib Dems actually paid for today's delivery?

Dizzy Thinks: Ex-Tory Ex-Councillor is Lefty

Yes, that's right. Anything wrong in the world of politics is by definition leftist, according to Dizzy Thinks. Certainly making a monkey of Croydonian who provided an endorsement claiming hilariously that Phil Hendren thinks before he blogs. As if!

Still, he does get a visit from the ex-Tory ex-Councillor "lefty" himself. His finger slipped and he posted before he had polished his turgid sermon:

The article went up erroneously before being completed, and that (like the rest of the material that (Ed's insert) went up) was a quote I had taken from elsewhere -- actually last September -- and was trying to find the original source when I was interrupted (pushy 'cold caller' at the door!).
I had to dash out after he'd held me up, so I never finished the job.
Actually, I have since found the link (in Google Blogs) though the page itself has been taken down -- just as I did with mine for that matter, once I realised what had happened.
Anyway, the point was to show that this kind of extreme thinking was already out there, and we need as a nation to 'brainstorm' a better solution before the economic crunch forces Gordon B into one his typical dithers followed by panic draconian measures.
As always, where possible I prefer 'carrots' to 'sticks'.
Of course, the hatchet men of the media [Ed: Lefties like the Mail] weren't interested in that, as they had their own agenda...
Anyway, for good, pragmatic reasons, I have now resigned, and (as I have blogged HERE) it is a weight off my mind.

Just like Enoch Powell, John M Ward was quoting from elsewhere when he made his headline grabbing contribution.

Tibet Petition: Beyond One Million in a Week

Thanks to those who have signed the petition for dialogue not crackdown on Tibet. Beyond a million in just seven days. Now shooting for two million.

Another Day Off Blogging: Musing on Rape Case

Another day off blogging. Sorry. Busy with various work things. But no excuses.

Also considering what to do about the request in comments for an exposition of the part of John Leech and others in the accused rape raised there.

GMP also have a lot of explaining to do on that IMO. And local media that let it go. But I'll let you know.

So Weak: Mr GuF Too Crashes on Bio-Science Bill

Mr Paul Staines aka Guido Fawkes aka Mr GuF has also had better days. But has certainly outdone Dale ... by having some content.

But then again. What silly content it really is. That gratuitous Emily Maitlis thigh picture again. And the good old boy homophobia.

The prospect of using shell animal eggs plus human stuff to make stem cells for life-saving experiments (99.99% human but very non viable and short-lived) is referred to with the F word. Is GuF a libertarian or not? Does the pope shit in the woods? Probably if he's caught short. But do Bears wear pointy hats? Err, NO!

Does GuF have a brain or not? Is Guido Fawkes the blogger pretending to be some centuries old dissident? Or is Staines himself a pathetic catholic drone in the here and now?

Why is the flat earth libertarian GuF not actually saying what HE THINKS or HE FEELS about the issue of scientists using their brains to solve human problems? Dale doesn't either. Pathetic, the pair of them.

In case you don't read comments at Dale's place I'd like to say that I am utterly in favour of the spirit of this Bill. It is crazy to oppose science to resist Parkinson's and the like. My dad has it. And it is not pretty. It's certainly a huge pain for him.

My mother, a card-carrying pro-life marcher, now faces quite a quandary. But to me it is so obvious - as Jim Devine MP has stated in a very heroic way in my view - that the church(es) is/are way wrong on this. I hope that Catholic Ministers and MPs use this opportunity to vote for modernity and science over medievalism and superstition.

This is the blessing of a free vote on clauses as far as I'm concerned. Let's see just who has so little regard for science and modernity that they vote with the more stupid bishops, cardinals and nazi popes. With clerics that scarcely seem to have even the slightest moral or ethical argument against saving and enhancing lives with science.

The image of the "heretic" Galileo comes from the Roshi Bob Blog.

So Weak: Dale's Diary, Weakest Five Posts Ever?

It is just possible that the last 24 hours or so have been the weakest ever in the history of Iain Dale's Diary. Looking for some acute political analysis from Britain's top political blogger today has been needle in haystack fruitless.

Instead we have had tedious treading water on the failure of Tory planning and highways authorities in Kent; the amusing antics of the nutty NUT,
specifically on military preying on schools (both NUT and Iain Dale are wrong); some vacuous twaddle on the conscience wrestling over the Frankenfurter Bill; some fillyblogbusting over alleged fillybustering from Jack Straw and some absolute tosh attacking the speaker of the house.

Presumably Iain has promised himself that there will be four posts a day and he's not had much time; but he's still hit the target, albeit with nonsense. I blame Total Politics, the new Cashcroft vehicle, substantially slower than the Dassault jet, but supporting the Tories direction of travel none-the-less.

HoP Poetry: Cabinet of Curiosities or Wunderkammer?

Was interested to hear Alex Hilton of the reactivated Recess Monkey blog on Radio Five Live yesterday. Musing and amusing about the muse that has infected the HoP (right).

Denis MacShane told the Mail: "I think a rather better poem would be:

Pity poor Dave
So rich and so blue
The Tories to save
Nothing he'll not do."

Which is almost bad enough to constitute a confession. But I think the whole thing's Balls. Which might be an accusation. Or it might be literary criticism. More likely perhaps is Cam or Goo or Gove; or perhaps the person of persons unknown who carved a four letter word on Blair's dispatch box. As Mr Hilton revealled.

Cllr John Leech MP: Crying Into His Glass Fully Empty

Labour's candidate for Chorlton Park John Hacking catches Cllr John Leech MP having no mates here and here and here. In reverse order for his "raucous students provide cover for rapists" gaffe, for his latest "I'm voting with the Tories" moment, and for his solo Early Day Motion about a Mail sorting office which is now only staying open for only two hours longer than all the others.

This has attracted a record level of support: John Leech - nul poins. The story was one of Lorenzo's over at the Withington Co-op Party Blog and Lorenzo got it from Graham at Greater Manchester Fabians.

Perhaps Mr Leech's lack of popularity among his fellow MPs - and John Hacking's exposure of it all on Tuesday 11 March - was what led him to seek refuge in another solo drinking session at The Sports and Social at Westminster that very evening. This being the haunt of the parliamentary underclass low life of researchers, secretaries and tea children.

LEECH HEALTH WARNING: Children, Don't Do As I Do.

Salford Oppositions: Crying Wolf Over Snouts in Troughs?

It is always interesting when oppositionists on Councils start complaining about ruling group gravy trains as Cllr Steve Cooke (Salford) does.

Four points spring to mind:

1. Presumably the Executive Support Members (ESMs) in Salford have similar demanding roles to (paid) deputy chairs/cabinet members in other authorities? Including Lib Dem and Lib Con authorities?

2. Presumably Cllr Steve Cooke knows that the basic allowance enjoyed by (often idle) back bench Libdemologists in Manchester is almost at the ESM level he derides?

3. Presumably, though he does not say anything, he knows about the big INCREASE Lib Dems brought in in Bristol on their fairly temporary accession to rule? And he must have an insight into the equivalent payments in the atrociously managed (it's official) Lib Dem Liverpool. But that goes unnoted as well. Any reason for that?

4. Presumably he also knows about the Hospital Hoaxer Cllr John Leech MP who is trousering his £60,000 from HoP, £22,000 John Lewis List, £10,000 Communications - which he is using for hybrid political leaflets, PLUS payments to Lib Dem activists, PLUS his councillor wages of £15,000+. Similar to Paul Rowen in Rochdale and John Hemmings in Brum and others for all I know.

Leech promised to donate these "council expenses" - after tax presumably - to local Lib Dem constituency funds. Yet last time I looked of c £45,000 only £3,500 has darkened the door of the Electoral Commission register.

In fact now we're on the subject there is a great mystery with Manchester Lib Dem funds in that they appear to have a professional campaign worker and fairly deep pockets in general but scarcely any donations are recorded. How does that work?

I applaud Cllr Steve Cooke's intention of giving transparency. All things considered he seems to be worth more than half a dozen of the Manchester Lib Dem half-arses put together, even though he feels hard done by with 34% less in allowances.

But perhaps he would also try for fairness and shine the light of righteousness on Lib Dem authorities showing how things should be done? Which goes for Cllr Iain Lindley who hat-tipped Cllr Cooke when it comes to Tory Councils running cities.

Meanwhile if anyone has any examples from round the country of snouts of any political hue in the public trough then please do share in comments.

Closer to Home: Tory Boy Bloggers Wrong Wrong Wrong

Closer to home the Tories are also full of it. For goodness sake Cllr Iain Lindley! There is no need to follow that buffoon Cameron even where he is clearly mistaken. The record shows that the Rt Hon man Ed Balls said “So weak!” which is one of his stock phrases actually. It is scandalous that Lindley is believing partisan spin over Hansard, the mother of all journals of record.

Councillor Lindley also seems to believe all the guff about Cem's musical tastes scam and shows disdain for a Guardian G2 article by John Harris on the very subject. This mentions one of my outdoor concert confections by name and with much fondness. A story for another day perhaps.

Guido Fawkes's GuF: Still More Schoolboy Errors

Mr Dale isn't the only one who can't manage maths. Hedgie Paul Staines aka swear blogger Guido Fawkes aka Mr GuF commits schoolboy errors in an "analysis" of MPs' expenses claims.

God he's an incompetent and illogical idiot. More deprivation, more casework. More and better staff, more stationery and post costs, more telephone calls. More distance from centre, more Labour constituencies, more travel costs. And so on.

Total Pants: Iain Dale Recommends "Join the Eurozone"

Speaking of disingenuity and malice - how's about this mischiefery? Obviously Iain Dale doesn't have the grasp of economics to see that it's arrant propaganda. Making the Eurozone look like a great prospect to boot. Is that what he intended? Total Pants, wet with a streak of Tory blogger boy widdle.

Freedom of Information: Is This More Hospital Hoaxery?

Looks like Dave Ottewell, the Manchester Evening News' numero uno snooper and blogger may have been stymied by Hospital Hoax investigation disingenuity and weaselry following a Freedom of Information investigation. I've commented. Not up yet. Perhaps the progenitors of earlier FIO searches might like to join in?

Rochdale Bully Boy: Calls Congestionists Names

David Hennigan has written a letter to the Evening News, and what's more they've printed it.

It's all over the place, like one of those rare Lib Dem policy positions, but essentially is in support of Cllr Roger Jones, Chair of the GMPTA, who has it seems been personally targeted by Tory-backed and Tory-backing pollsters who, wait for it, support congestion. These pollution champions set professional pollster attack dogs asking attack questions in Jones' Salford ward.

Implicit in this letter is harsh criticism of Cllr John Leech MP who has continued to take opportunist pro-con positions on the matter - currently seeming to support more congestion and pollution, certainly failing to provide leadership.

Friend Hennigan concludes:

This will send a clear message to self-interested companies like Peel Holdings that their bullying tactics don’t work, and neither should they. Dave Hennigan, Heaton Chapel

An interesting home address for a localist Libdemologist working in Rochdale and Oldham East and Saddleworth! But no matter. More interesting is renowned bully boy Hennigan's alleged stance against bullying.

Here he is sticking up for a vee sign councillor, and here defending racist dog whistling from another councillor and PPC, and just one more recent occasion, "standing in the middle of the road in the pouring rain having a fit, shouting abuse and generally making an utter fool of himself" embarrassing Rochdale with his own bullying tactics.

He should perhaps lie down in a darkened room and consider his position.

McTories: Ready to Jump Into Bed with Salmond?

When I just mentioned the Daleian/Tory status as ex-Unionists I had no idea of the level of blue enthusiasm for the bedding of the toothsome Salmond.

Iain Dale: Likes His Bull in a China Shop

Iain Dale mistakes Nationalism for "local democracy". The Nu-Maoist centre are of course happy for the people of Tibet to decide which pavements get resurfaced and what colour to paint the lamp posts, to control local planning, and to manage the village pump.

But accession from China is the polar opposite of "local democracy". Of course now that the Tories have become ex-Unionists Iain cannot be expected to have any empathy with any central government.

NEXT WEEK: Why Texas should leave the United States.

Wrong 'Uns: Lord Ashcroft, Iain Dale, John Leech

Lord Ashcroft is providing a goodly part of the start up finance for the "politically neutral" Total politics. Iain Dale is now quibbling over the description of this as "bankrolling". He says it is a purely commercial investment.

Tom Watson doubts this. Though in fact the verb to bankroll is not loaded as specific to either charity, loan or commerce. For example:

Cllr Angela Gallagher was persuaded to use her retirement nestegg to bankroll the hoaxer John Leech in his rather mendacious campaign for Westminster.

And there's more:

Mrs Gallagher believed her contribution was by way of a loan and was rather disappointed to say the least when Hoaxer John refused to countenance any payback. Especially considering he had used it to tell lies about the Christie Hospital.

And finally:

"Really" she said "I'm a pensioner and he would take me out for a lovely meal or a big drink and end up persuading me to give him another cheque. All together I gave him twice the spending limit, and that was on top of whatever else he raised."

At the time Mrs Gallagher was said to be particularly upset that Leech was splashing out on sofas and curtains and what have you. Presumably though that was all paid for off the John Lewis List and all £23,000 of Mrs Gallagher's donations were used for the campaign. Limit £11,000.

Withington watchers are looking forward to the complete disclosure of all Mr Leech's runnings. He has been taking adverts in party political leaflets, mixing politics into parliamentary reports produced with taxpayers money for three years on the trot, and also - according to the official list - reneging on his promise to make donations of all councillor expenses from his neglected job in Manchester.

£45,000 plus received, before tax, a mere £3,500 recorded as donated. He's a wrong 'un that John Leech, he really is. GRAPHIC: Courtesy of The Sun.

Essex Boy Vacancy: Have UKIP Turned a Tory?

Haringey Lib Dem councillor Matt Davies kindly reproduces Bob Spink MP's CCHQ gloss. Spink is rumoured to be headed for UKIP as a sole Westminster MP.

Who knows what will happen in the General Election? If Tories were to select Essex boy Mr Iain Dale as their PPC - despite his record in propagating reverse swing as well as unplayable spin - there is even a chance that Spink will hang on.

Guido Fawkes the GuF Blogger: Has Cloth Ears

Looks like the anarcho-imperialist hedgie swear blogger Paul Staines aka Guido Fawkes aka Mr GuF has cloth ears like his master's voice "Dave" Cameron. Actually that's not fair. I take it back. Both of them know full well that Ed Balls said "So Weak!" rather than "So What?".

Both sadly are shameless fibbers and mischievists.

BBC Online is balanced while failed Lib Dem councillor Norfolk Blogger is clearly unbalanced, insisting he is right even when Hansard and indeed the Video (above) uploaded by GuF simply shows the feeble Cameron lying about the original Balls heckle. Recorded as "So Weak!" in Hansard.

Environment: Peak District "Pollution" versus T5

An interesting juxtaposition on BBC Breakfast. School kids helping to track the "pollution" emanating from the Peak District's weathered peats. And the Queen due to open Heathrow's sparkling Terminal Five. Which is worse? Allegedly the peat bogs chucking out rather than soaking up CO2 are SEVERAL TIMES worse than the whole of Heathrow.

Interesting stuff. When natural processes and a naturally occuring gas are termed "pollution" are we getting rather mired in gobbledy gook?

Iain Dale: "Thought" for the Day, Heralds Slash and Burn?

Iain Dale needs to explain what the Tories plan to cut, apart presumably from the shameless doh-brain soundbites?

Sir George GOO Osborne MP: He's So Full of It He Stinks

In November GOO stated that people in Manchester would be £50 per week worse off this year under Labour plans, £50 more per week the following year, and so on and so forth. Today he's claiming the figure is about £2 per week. A 94% reduction in alarm and mendacity. Which is nice. Still not right though.

Mike Todd: Chief Constable, Found Dead in Snowdonia

Shocking news. Greater Manchester's Chief Constable Mike Todd has been found dead in Snowdonia. Attempts are being made to recover his body. Radio Five report that notes to his family have been recovered.

When I met the man and discussed policing issues and the fight against racism with him in Spring 2004 I was very impressed with him. He told me that he loved being a police officer. Every day he said was like Christmas. Excepting the day when Detective Constable Stephen Oake was killed, in the course of an arrest.

Libdemologists: Depths of the Yellow Streak Franchise

Iain Dale has the story of the defection - to the Tories, yeuch - of former LD PPC in Hull East with some interesting comments to follow. After Clogg endorsed Elywn Racist as following Lib Dem principles - reported yesterday - this is yet another instance of the evil franchise exposed.

Having said that this is not a universal plague. I was saddened to hear today of the death of local Lib Dem and before that Liberal activist Charles Sinclair (1929-2008) in the Carlton Club Newsletter.

Charles was a true believer. One of the few Manchester Lib Dems who actually put in the vigil hours alongside those of other parties and none over the war. With a good technical understanding of planning, transport and other issues. And a well directed skill with letters to the editor. Not to forget a generosity with tea and biscuits when passing the time as an election day teller.

Cllr John "Cancer Hoax" Leech: "Will Face Consequences"

Whippy Clogg has made it known that he's (a) gunning for the ne'er-do-well John Leech, and (b) excusing a Sheik's bookman and PPC for Oldham and Saddleworth from repeating hard racist views without comment, by way of a dog whistle report the Manchester Evening News.

The Lib Dems are it seems constitutionally obliged to be apolitical. To quote Clogg, to "represent the views of his constituents, which is what we all have to do - even if we don't like it." Er, no, Whippy, that's actually contemptible and weak. There are times when elected representatives should LEAD. Lib Dems are bang out of order FOLLOWING pig-headed racists.

This was the excuse of Lib Dem activists either side of the Leeds Road in the latter constituency when they supported a mosque's planning application one side of the street and disparaged it the other. Contemptible and weak.

Iain Dale: Cold Leads from the LibDem Spring Conference

Iain Dale (2:32 pm) has a set of four anecdotes from the Lib Dem Spring Conference here. Far from being exclusives from his "undercover reporter in Liverpool" they are all old news. LOL had the best story - on Lib Dem money laundering - yesterday, as did our credited source GuF, and GuF also had the second one at 11 this morning. The first - about autocues - was frankly obvious.

Leaving the fourth - about a non-photograph. Which is what journalists would I believe call a non-story. As Tory bloggers did when it was Boris Johnson who didn't get photographed the other day.

The post is only really good for a link to Archbishop Cramner's destruction of Whippy Clogg's speech. Amen to that.

Mr Whippy Clogg: All Over the Place on Europe

Guido had the above rag out of a Lib Dem press release late yesterday. They meant "Cameron". Quite a stream of abuse aimed at Lib Dems - surrounding a dodgy racist analysis of racially motivated homicide statistics - including some [irony]absolutely hilarious[/irony] definitions of the word "Clegg".

Once again Guido's readers are around ten weeks behind LOL.

Violence Against Women: John Leech Gets in a Pickle

Incidentally Lucy Powell has used half her Guardian Blog this week to comment on violence against women and the recent march in Manchester (right). Domestic violence, sexual assault and rape. South Manchester Blogger Stephen Newton has drawn attention in comments to an extraordinary letter, leaked to the South Manchester Reporter.

This was from Lucy's main opposition in Manchester Withington - a ruthless self-publicist who will it seems stop at nothing - in which the clot claimed that student hubbub provides a cover for rapists.

When I first saw the story in the South Manchester Reporter I was half hoping that it was going to cover another shameful incident involving this weak parliamentarian, his close friends, and his appalling attitude to such matters. But alas, not this time. The matter in question was either not properly investigated or any investigation covered up by the police. One day, one day.

Daily Mail Object Lesson: Outing a Sex Complainant?

One advantage of taking son to have a haircut is that current Mail and Express are proffered in the waiting area. Celebrity barber asked permission to do what the boy wants, immediately given. As some other dad said he's the one that's going to have to walk round with it. And spookily he's actually choosing to have the cut that I'd always resisted as a youth myself. Aka "short back and sides". Other dad also explains how his son was asking after how he got his widow's vee styled ...

Anyways, in the Mail we find out all about this story of a Cambridge post-grad with glittering prizes behind him - along with a "nine-month hell" that he says Nietzsche-like has "made him stronger".

Rather paradoxical of the public spirited Mail to put this guy’s name, CV and various photos - one clearly caned - looking like a shady scrote and all that, across an early double page spread. Given that his identity should they claim be protected?

The Mail print various pictures. One with the guy drunken, with a blonde whom the paper edition gallantly identifies as unconnected, though the website does not. Scrolling down one with his rowing team with a lady coxswain - not remotely answering the description. Plus another with rowing colleagues at a bit of a do.

Is the girl in that last picture, a recent Trinity College eight's coxswain I'd wager - and someone that the Mail pointedly DO NOT disassociate from the story - the sexual assault (NB not rape) complainant with the famous celebrity parent perchance?

Must agree with the commenter who suggests that given the low level of convictions in such cases it is to be hoped that the story does not discourage complaints. If I'm right about the picture the complainant should sue the pants off the Mail for deliberately leading to her identification in this way. And yes, I am aware that I'm drawing attention to the issue.

Guido: Liverpool Being Taken to the Cleaners by Libs?

The disastrous Lib Dem regime in Liverpool is hosting the Libs' Spring Conference. Guido spots some money laundering on behalf of an Exec Member and PPC for Liverpool Wavertree.

Lady Thatcher You Can't Match Her: The Darling of Us All

Kirsty Wark ended Newsnight tonight by reporting that Lady T has been rushed to hospital for "precautionary tests".

BBC Online has a little more.

POSTSCRIPT: Guido had a timely caption competition this afternoon.

Black Questions: Sauce for the Goose and for the Gander

Extraordinary. Iain Dale is whining. That's not extraordinary. But it is when it is about a new telly show called Any Black Questions (facebook group). Iain seems to be saying he finds this offensive. He has inferred that all the panellists are black. Which may be correct.

But then 100% of the last Question Time panel were white. And 80% male. Farage was a monster raving looney too. And that's not unusual. The BBC have of course just kicked off a season named White.

What is Iain on about? The norm on politics shows is a spectacular white male dominance. If nothing else this show gives some panellists the chance to learn the ropes and transfer with confidence to the mainstream. What's wrong with that?

Manchester: Teenage Pregnancy Implementation Manager

Just a taste of this Shoots and Leaves moment. Or the full advert banged up here, deadline is Monday. Hat tip: Newmania.